heppy birtdhay tome cruis

[AlanJohn]

 

[Foxi4]

 

[osirisjem]

100% whack job:

 

[the_randomizer]

100% whack job:

You're just realizing this now?

 

[Alchemilla]

Didn't he totally break Oprah's wrists when he went bonkers on her show? Or am I thinking of Scary Movie?

 

[osirisjem]

Didn't he totally break Oprah's wrists when he went bonkers on her show? Or am I thinking of Scary Movie?

He jumped all over her couch.

 

[Gahars]

Hey, say what you will about Tom Cruise, but he's apparently a very nice guy. He takes the time to learn the names of assistants on the set and he's actually saved quite a few lives (seriously).

I mean, sure, he's fucking nuts, but at least he's nice about it. Plus, I guess everyone needs a hobby.

 

[Alchemilla]

He jumped all over her couch.

Gasp! Not the couch!

Edit: Oops, one word post. Fixed it.

 

[Veho]

He jumped all over her couch.

FUCK HER COUCH!

 

[Alchemilla]

What does fuck your couch mean?

 

[Veho]

What does fuck your couch mean?

In context, or in general?

 

[Alchemilla]

I guess in general?

 

[Gahars]

I guess in general?

It's a disparaging comment made towards the couch, stating that it is of rather low status and priority and thus is not worth respecting.

 

[Veho]

It's a disparaging comment made towards the couch, stating that it is of rather low status and priority and thus is not worth respecting.

But taken at face value it is an instruction or invitation to fornicate with a piece of one's furniture.

 

[Alchemilla]

Um............what?

 

[Gahars]

But taken at face value it is an instruction or invitation to fornicate with a piece of one's furniture.

I'd say it's more of a command, but it's just a matter of semantics at this point.

 

[Tom Bombadildo]

It's from the Chappelle Show.

 

[Veho]

I'd say it's more of a command, but it's just a matter of semantics at this point.

I suppose so. The exclamation mark makes it more of a command.


And I just imagined it as an instruction in an Ikea couch assembly guide.

"Step N: insert tab A into slot 7
Step O: twist flange X around the knob B3
Step P: Fuck your couch
Step Q... "

 

[Alchemilla]

I'm not fucking anyone's couch, and anyone who says otherwise is a skank ass floatstinger.

 

[Gahars]

I'm not fucking anyone's couch, and anyone who says otherwise is a skank ass floatstinger.

Well, you won't get very far in Hollywood, then. You can't get parts unless you agree to bed Mr. Casting Couch.