Good movies to learn about Charisma

[Deleted User]

A few years ago I picked up the book "The Charisma Myth" by Olivia Fox Cabane and thought that it would be the solution to all of my life's social problems. It wasn't.

I'm not going to delve deeply into the details, but somewhere I still fall short. People aren't rushing towards me asking me to come and hang out with them on a Friday night, nor does anyone seem to love helping me when I'm stuck on an assignment. I just don't have the social magnetism that the book promises.

I'm looking for some movies to show top quality charisma in action. That way I can see what they do and I don't. Tom Cruise seems to have the magic, but other actors I'm not all that familiar with.

 

[DinohScene]

Turn emo and go to emo meets.
If you're a tad cute, they will adore you.

In all seriousness, just be yourself, don't think about what other people think of you cus you cannot ever satisfy all of them.
If you got a few people that like you, you already can call it a victory.
Go to a gamehall or pub, approach some who's playing a game/drinking one.

 

[Pedeadstrian]

A few years ago I picked up the book "The Charisma Myth" by Olivia Fox Cabane and thought that it would be the solution to all of my life's social problems. It wasn't.

I'm not going to delve deeply into the details, but somewhere I still fall short. People aren't rushing towards me asking me to come and hang out with them on a Friday night, nor does anyone seem to love helping me when I'm stuck on an assignment. I just don't have the social magnetism that the book promises.

I'm looking for some movies to show top quality charisma in action. That way I can see what they do and I don't. Tom Cruise seems to have the magic, but other actors I'm not all that familiar with.

Your first problem is assuming a self-help book (I'm guessing that's what it is) will actually help you. Your second problem is assuming that watching Tom Cruise will suddenly make people like you.

I can't really give you good advice outside of being confident. People don't want to be around people who are always self-loathing and/or questioning themselves. Unlike a persona, confidence is easier to fake, and eventually it may lead you to actually be confident.

 

[astrangeone]

Personally, I think I rolled a crappy charisma, but it's just I take forever to warm up to people and then, blam! My real personality shows up, and people start liking me. Just be a nice person, and as Pedeadstrian says "Fake it until you make it."

 

[Segtendo]

I'm not afraid to admit that I'm a very shy person. I find it kind of hard to make friends. While I have a bunch of "friends" on Facebook, I tend to hang out with only a select few. I met most of them in high school, and we still talk to this day.

Just be yourself. Yes, being shy sucks, but if you're nice to people, they'll like you back.

 

[Deleted User]

First of all will watching Tom Cruise magically make the world love you? No. That is simply delusion.

What I'm trying to do is analyse how charismatic people behave see see if their same behaviors work on myself. If they do then keep them and if they don't then drop them. Its very normal to learn by imitation.

The idea that you should be yourself and not give a fuck can be very liberating at times, but I think that living by such a philosophy all the time is simply impractical. Your social skills are going to affect your career, relationships and overall happiness so you should work to improve them. Why did the book How to Win Friends and Influence People sell by the fuckload? (and yes, I know the information within is outdated)

 

[Pedeadstrian]

First of all will watching Tom Cruise magically make the world love you? No. That is simply delusion.

What I'm trying to do is analyse how charismatic people behave see see if their same behaviors work on myself. If they do then keep them and if they don't then drop them. Its very normal to learn by imitation.

The idea that you should be yourself and not give a fuck can be very liberating at times, but I think that living by such a philosophy all the time is simply impractical. Your social skills are going to affect your career, relationships and overall happiness so you should work to improve them. Why did the book How to Win Friends and Influence People sell by the fuckload? (and yes, I know the information within is outdated)

You do know that movies are fake, right? Some random dude wrote "Tom Cruise, do this. (insert random female actress here), swoon." It's not like (insert random female actress here) actually fell in love with Tom Cruise's character (or himself). If you wanna learn about charisma, watch documentaries about dictators and cult leaders. You'll learn more from Charles Manson and David Koresh than Tom Cruise.

And just because something "sells by the fuckload" it doesn't mean it's worthwhile and/or meaningful. Just look at the Twilight series.

 

[VinsCool]

True story: I thought the thread asked about "Christmas"

 

[Deleted User]

You do know that movies are fake, right? Some random dude wrote "Tom Cruise, do this. (insert random female actress here), swoon." It's not like (insert random female actress here) actually fell in love with Tom Cruise's character (or himself). If you wanna learn about charisma, watch documentaries about dictators and cult leaders. You'll learn more from Charles Manson and David Koresh than Tom Cruise.

And just because something "sells by the fuckload" it doesn't mean it's worthwhile and/or meaningful. Just look at the Twilight series.

Movies are fake, yes. But they also have a tendency to imitate reality in order to entertain. If something from a movie doesn't work in real life then the solution is to stop doing it.

As for this thread... I wasn't given the information I was after. I'm done posting here.