Getting worse :(

[Blaze163]

Wow...you're REALLY clutching at straws, aren't you. Alright, let's get this over with. Not that there's much point, doesn't look like you'll ever learn.
man if you don't realize that you should be telling yourself that then that is just sad

1) I chose to write a blog. You don't agree with that choice, that's your perogative. No reason to whine about it. If you don't want to read about my life then go elsewhere. Nobody asked you to read this blog, did they? In fact I am starting to wonder what your motive for being here is. You seem to have a lot of issues with me despite the fact that you could just walk away and ignore me. But you seem to have some need to post here. So either you have literally nothing else to do with your life or you've got a crush on me. I can't think of any other reason why you'd be compelled to post here the way you seem to be. Starting to think you're my ex's little sister or something, you remind me of her.
This is what I'm talking about when I say you bash people, you disagree so you come up with insults such as calling me a loser or in this case gay(which is a pretty messed up insult). You are once again the one making assumptions, and proving your incredible hypocrisy

2) Yeah, I mention my girlfriend a lot. She's a big part of my life. Get over it. Again, you don't wanna read it, go amuse yourself somewhere else.
Once again you keep failing to read my words. I don't have a problem with you mentioning your girlfriend, I was just pointing out that you mention your girlfriend when it's totally unrelated, such as in your response to my first post

3) If you're not here for amusement, why are you here?
Why are you so concerned with this? Your argument here is that you personally see no reason for me to be here, so I shouldn't be, once again, that's not how things work, get over yourself, just because you don't want me to post doesn't mean I shouldn't. The majority of the replies to your blogs are sympathy and occasionally me, if you're not here for the sympathy, then why are you here? And I know you aren't asking for it, but you don't have to, it's everywhere, and when somebody says something bad about you then you flip out and get all pissy

4) I don't recall anyone here asking for or needing your opinion on anything, especially when it has no evidence to support anything it says and appears to exist for the sole reason of trolling.
I don't see anyone needing you to tell us about your shitty life when you have no evidence to support it and that it appears to exist for the sole reason of getting people to feel bad for you. Thank you again for proving what a hypocrite you are. Once again, since you failed to respond to my question, how often do people agree with a troll? Never, that's right, unless they're trolling too. Then how come people agreed with me before? They were blatantly not trolling and you didn't even respond to their comments

5) I don't have an issue with people not agreeing with me, I have an issue with people like you who have to be so in my face with it when they don't have a clue what they're talking about. If you actually knew me and knew the situation then maybe I'd take your pointless aggression a bit more seriously but since you don't, unless you're a stalker, then I don't see why I should consider you anything more than yet another troll.
If Siddhartha himself gave you advice you would call him a troll wouldn't you? (and no, I'm not calling myself Buddha) Also you're calling me aggressive when you are the one that continues to insult me and call me names?

6) There's more going on in my life than what I make you aware of. You presume that I post details about everything here. Again, working your opinions around incomplete views, filling in the blanks with your own assumptions. That's what I have a problem with, your eagerness to jump to conclusions and then act like you know everything.
I'm not doubting that there is more going on in your life. I don't "fill in the blanks" with assumptions, I respond directly to what you have posted, unlike you who does a number list and then covers what you want to

I feel sorry for you, really. To be so jaded and have so little going on in your life that your only way of amusing yourself is to come here and post uninformed judgemental remarks about people you know next to nothing about. I pity you.
More assumptions and insults from you, it's exactly what I expected. Also you're the one throwing insults around and getting defensive over everything and you pity me? If I was actually a troll I would consider this to be pretty successful, but I'm not, so I just see it as a bit sad. Maybe you should think once in awhile "hey, maybe I'm not always right and if somebody else feels differently that doesn't make them an asshole"

Also, cheers Fudge. Will be trying to hack it when I feel a bit better, or when my friends come back from the festival as Liam's much better with this sort of stuff than I am.

May I suggest some light reading

They say somebody who is homophobic is covering up for their own sexual confusion...now try telling him he might be gay*
*That was just an analogy, I'm not calling you gay

Once again you're totally missing the point of everything I said. Same as always.

1) I was making fun of you, I wasn't outright saying you were gay. Can you not detect irony or something? I was curious as to exactly why you feel the need to post here when there's really no reason for it. Your advice is unwelcome, your attitude is unacceptable, and you could just walk away and live your life, but you still feel the need to post yet more of your ill-informed crap. Why are you doing it? Couldn't help but noticed you've avoided answering that question. All you've basically said is that you have the right to be a jerk so you're using it. My question was why you feel it necessary to think like that. What do you gain from arguing with me, exactly? Does it make you happy to know that you're pissing people off? You're certainly not here to give advice. So what is it that draws you here? Why can't you just take the hint and go do something else?

2) Exactly what evidence would you like of how shitty my life is? Video proof of my limping? Go ahead, name your terms. I'll provide all the proof you want if it'll shut you up.

3) You don't respond to what I say, you just antagonise. That's why I take issue with you. Because all you do is come here to annoy me. What else have you done? You've evaded all of my questions, I notice. You've not given any reason why you feel compelled to post here aside from 'I can so I will', which to me shows that you just can't control yourself. It shows a lack of moral guidance on your part, and you wonder why I ignore your so-called advice.

 

[TheDreamLord]

@DeathStrudel
Go suck a strudel.
@Blaze
Sounds like you COMPLETELY destroyed your leg

Does anything help it or is it going t ohave to wear off?

 

[DeathStrudel]

Once again you're totally missing the point of everything I said. Same as always.
Once again where I responded to everything you said you have chosen bits and pieces to analyze, in all honesty you are the one missing the point

1) I was making fun of you, I wasn't outright saying you were gay. Can you not detect irony or something? I was curious as to exactly why you feel the need to post here when there's really no reason for it. Your advice is unwelcome, your attitude is unacceptable, and you could just walk away and live your life, but you still feel the need to post yet more of your ill-informed crap. Why are you doing it? Couldn't help but noticed you've avoided answering that question. All you've basically said is that you have the right to be a jerk so you're using it. My question was why you feel it necessary to think like that. What do you gain from arguing with me, exactly? Does it make you happy to know that you're pissing people off? You're certainly not here to give advice. So what is it that draws you here? Why can't you just take the hint and go do something else?
I knew you were making fun of me, I hope you don't honestly think it makes it better. Oh it's so much better to call somebody gay as long as you're making fun of them and not actually calling them gay /sarcasm. I have purposefully not given any reason to make a point of your blatant hypocrisy since you keep MAKING ASSUMPTIONS about why I'm doing this which is what you keep saying I'm doing

2) Exactly what evidence would you like of how shitty my life is? Video proof of my limping? Go ahead, name your terms. I'll provide all the proof you want if it'll shut you up.
I wasn't being serious, just pointing out (once again) how hypocritical you are, but fine, if you provide a 24 hour web cam of your life, I'll shut up.

3) You don't respond to what I say, you just antagonise. That's why I take issue with you. Because all you do is come here to annoy me. What else have you done? You've evaded all of my questions, I notice. You've not given any reason why you feel compelled to post here aside from 'I can so I will', which to me shows that you just can't control yourself. It shows a lack of moral guidance on your part, and you wonder why I ignore your so-called advice.
Your only question has been why am I here, and I have chosen to ignore it. Not to mention, why does it matter? Why are you so concerned with why I'm here? And when I don't answer you say stuff like "what? are you gay?." You are such a child. Also you have once again shown how hypocritical you are. You have ignored practically every question I have asked. I haven't made assumptions, I've made points and suggestions and asked question about them that you only respond to by telling me I don't know what I'm talking about instead of actually refuting what I'm saying, which really just strengthens my opinions.

You know what? Fuck it. I'm done. Here's what you wanted. I thought maybe you weren't the ignorant piece of shit you made yourself out to be. I kept coming back to see if maybe instead of continuing your same old bullshit you would have some decency and learn that your opinion isn't the opinion of god. I'm hate to be cliche and say I'm being the "bigger man," but I am. You keep bitching "why don't you just shut up?" Well why didn't you? If you hadn't responded in the first place there would have been nothing else for me to say. I'm going to stay out your threads from now on man. It's just not worth it to read what you have to say and to see all the people actually feel sympathetic to a douche like you. Somebody actually said the wanted to donate money to you, like wtf? most people won't even give a homeless person spare change and I think they're a bit worse off than you (sorry if that just an "assumption" though).

 

[Blaze163]

It's not just my leg any more, that's what worries me. It started as minor damage to my ankle made worse by working when I really shouldn't have. Now it's spread all across my body. My arms hurt, my other leg is getting just as bad, and the pain in my chest is getting worse by the minute. I'm now totally unable to suppress it, regardless of how hard I concentrate, as the pain in my chest breaks my focus. I have therefore called my friend Kevin, asking him to help me get to the drop-in medical centre in town. It's not safe to go on my own as I can't even be sure of my ability to walk any more. And if nothing else he can use my phone to record us being there and that can serve as my sick note in case of emergency. Not a damn clue what exactly has gone wrong here. It's not like me to get this bad. Certainly not for this long. Most of my illnesses are simple, I just rest and they vanish in a few days. This has been getting worse for over a week. If it is nerve damage, as my dad postulates, then I could be off work for some considerable time.

Also, is there an 'ignore user' function here like there is on Gamefaqs, to block people's posts from appearing on my screen? I get the feeling that this ongoing battle between me and DeathStrudel is always going to be just more rounds of 'I know you are but what am I' and frankly I've got bigger fish to fry right now.

At least Heather had a great time at the festival last night. She was a bit tipsy when she got in but she's cute when she's drunk. She's in no state to help anyone this morning, hence why I called Kev instead. Besides, he'll be more objective about things, whereas she'll just make a fuss over me. I appreciate the good intentions but I don't like seeing her frown. No boyfriend should ever give his girlfriend reason to look upset. Simple as.

UPDATE: Was unable to reach the Walk In Centre. Got about ten yards away from my door and the pain in my leg flared so uncontrollably that further progression was simply not possible. If things persist in the morning, which is highly likely, I'll be calling the hospital for assistance. And as usual, what does my dad have to say on the matter? Yet more bullshit stories about how he'd still go to work if he had an axe embedded in his skull. I'm tempted to get him a job at JJB with me so I can test that. Sick of his bullshit. I'm badly injured and all he cares about is himself. He's not just a bad father, he's a terrible human being.

 

[Warrior522]

Also, is there an 'ignore user' function here like there is on Gamefaqs, to block people's posts from appearing on my screen? I get the feeling that this ongoing battle between me and DeathStrudel is always going to be just more rounds of 'I know you are but what am I' and frankly I've got bigger fish to fry right now.

Yup; it's in your profile under your avatar.

 

[ProtoKun7]

I'm taking suggestions on the matter. Criteria: Must be free, must be easy to use, not too draining on processing power, does what it's damn well told, doesn't spend ages updating with my defences down to let viruses have a free shot.
Microsoft Security Essentials. Whatever your trouble was, it wasn't the fault of that in any way. Legitmate is just fine.
Saying that, I did use this computer with no AV software at all for about 9 months, installed MSE, ran a scan and there was no malware found at all.

QUOTE(Blaze163 @ Jul 1 2011, 04:35 PM) As for my illness, Maxnuker, I tell Destiny to bring it on.

Destiny from Captain Scarlet?

Also, I replied to your blog just before this one; just letting you know so you can check that one if you weren't going to already.

 

[Blaze163]

Whichever is easier, Proto, I just don't want to see any more blogs become childish slanging matches. We're both to blame, I should have just ignored the guy from the start. But whatever ends it with minimal fuss. Will give MSE a chance once my free Norton expires, that seems to be doing the job at the moment. Did you mean Destiny Angel, by the way?

I'm going to hospital today. My friend was delayed yesterday and it would be unwise to go without assistance as I'm no longer stable on my feet. He's free all day today so he's dropping by to see the dog (he's never actually met Nanaki as we usually meet up in town), then we're heading to hospital. Finally find out what's wrong with me. Quite how I'll break it to the boss that I'm not likely to return until this is over with is under debate. Guess it depends on how serious it is. Right now I don't give a fuck if JJB are disappointed by my continuing absence. Maybe they should have a set of capable employees rather than a bunch of dumb 16 year old school drop-outs and me covering up the slack all on my own.

Been having more of my radical thoughts this morning. Totally off topic but it's been buzzing around my head all morning. Was sat watching TV when yet another make-up advert came on, some face cream that costs you the best part of a week's wages to cover up wrinkles and the usual crap. Thousands of women already use this product, they say. And I got to thinking about how much money they must get on that one product if that were true. Hundreds of thousands of pounds. And then I got to wondering. Based on the sheer volume of products available for that same purpose, how much money do you think we basically waste as a species on make-up alone? Hell, even some guys use make-up these days. And in all fairness, while I appreciate beauty as much as anyone else, surely there's more to life? Make-up is basically vanity in cream form IMHO. Think about it. All the millions of pounds spent on research, development, packaging, shipping, advertising. Imagine what we could do with that money. Imagine how much of a leap we could make in serious medical technology with that sort of funding if nobody used make-up for a year. True, women everywhere would be pissed off, and a lot of shallow men would be as well, but in all seriousness, what's more important? Advancement or vanity? What are your thoughts?

 

[Nathan Drake]

The problem with makeup is, really, it's horribly disgusting stuff. If half the women knew what they were smearing on their face in terms of face creams, they would never use them again.

In the end though, it's all about vanity. As humans, our first priority is to continue to populate the planet. Even in today's over populated world, that takes hold. In order to achieve the best world, we feel that the most handsome/beautiful people need to be the ones that make the babies. Women try to make sure they'll be picked and kept by simply using the likes of makeup. Even if they won't admit it, there is always something more that they want out of their body, and makeup and clothes can help to cover up that insecurity.

Women feel insecure about wrinkles, oh look, a fantastic new wrinkle cream for only $120! It's an ever booming market that won't be dying anytime soon. Vanity can't be helped due to it being everywhere. The level that the modern person places vanity at is learned. It has been placed on a pedestal as one of the most important things.

Unarguably, advancement is far more important. We need it more than anything to secure a future where vanity can continue to be appreciated in a non-obsessive sense. The one that takes priority may not always be the one you want to take priority though.

 

[TheDreamLord]

Medical and energy research first then think about fucking make up.

 

[Blaze163]

What makes it worse is the girls I see a lot of around town who look like they belong in the 'before' shots on BBC3's Snog Marry Avoid show. For those who don't know the show, they basically take a bunch of Essex slappers with six inches of makeup on every skin cell, wipe all that crap off, put them in decent clothes, and show them that natural beauty is vastly superior to bottled tan, they ALWAYS look better without all that fakery. If we as a whole could accept that principle and just reduce the ammount of make-up we used, it'd be a step in the right direction. Even if it didn't lead to faster progress, it'd be nice to reduce the number of 'glam girl' slappers in the world 'cause they think they're beautiful when in fact they look fake and hideous. I personally avoid them like they have Black Death.

 

[obito]

Sorry if I'm doing wrong by asking, but did you fall off a cliff or something?!

 

[Nathan Drake]

Sorry if I'm doing wrong by asking, but did you fall off a cliff or something?!

Edit: All I could find in about 45 seconds was this from a couple blogs ago of his -

QUOTEIt seems my recent injuries are more noticable than I thought though. Even Shiva and Tony have commented on the rather pronounced limp in my right leg. I smashed it up pretty bad a few days ago and it's not healing. I was coping OK but stress limits my ability to focus so I guess I've not been able to suppress the pain very well if even they've told me not to come in if my leg is that bad in the morning.

Not overly helpful, eh?

Oh, check below. I was partially correct. I guess I retain something during the summer after all.

 

[Blaze163]

Sorry if I'm doing wrong by asking, but did you fall off a cliff or something?!

If I remember correctly, it was something about taking a pretty bad crash after Nanaki slammed into his legs. I can't seem to find where he mentioned how he hurt himself though. I'll quote it if I find it, or if Blaze doesn't get to it first.

You're partly right. The injury to my right ankle may be due in part to me falling down the stairs after Nanaki decided to ram me at full speed, being the pillock he is. But I've got no explanation for how the pain has spread throughout my body over the last few days. There's no reason why my left leg should hurt, my arms have taken no notable damage yet they still cause me a lot of pain, my chest is agony, and my head is spinning. I have no idea what's triggered this but I have to find out soon as it's getting worse every single day. Best guess is some sort of circulatory problem, but I'm no doctor. I'll post the results when I return from the hospital. Assuming Kevin gets out of bed any time soon as it's 11 o'clock and not a peep out of him regarding the day's plan. I can't make it to the drop-in centre alone, it's too far to travel on this leg without help. I tried yesterday and I barely made it out of my door.

 

[Nathan Drake]

Have you considered getting somebody to loan you a cane or crutches? They don't have to be perfectly sized for you, but anything like that would help you a hell of a lot in getting around. Of course, I don't suppose that everybody knows somebody of near equal height that injured their leg at one time or another like I seem to.

The chest pain could be a ton of things. If it's centered by the sternum and has been persistent, I really couldn't begin to tell you. If it is between the ribs, muscles there could be pretty messed up (I still get a dull to sharp pain underneath my second rib on the far left side of my chest from messing up the muscle at some point a few months back). There are a plethora of things that could be wrong when the chest is involved, but of course, that is probably what they'll take priority in.

 

[Blaze163]

I've always suffered from minor chest pains, after-effect of being temporarily dead. But they only trigger when I'm under extreme stress, same as the scar on my hand's burning sensation. I'm not really that stressed at the moment so the pain must be triggered by something else.

I'm STILL waiting for Kev to answer his bloody phone. Texted him twice and called him, not a damn thing. Nice to know I can rely on my friends to keep their word. Knowing him he's with his 'on again off again' girlfriend. Thanks for that. Douchebag.

Can't even play any games at the moment. I can just barely manage to play strategy or card games. Slow paced stuff. Been playing Yu-Gi-Oh Eternal Duelist Soul and Fire Emblem on my GBA emulator, but anything faster paced than that causes intense pain in my right hand. My head is extremely painful, not helped by my ignorant dad's quaint insistance on hoovering right outside my door for over half an hour.

The only thing that seems to help is extreme cold. I froze a bottle of water overnight because my room gets extremely hot during the day. The cold helps the pain in my hand and it helps a little with my chest, but it has no effect on my leg. Rest achieves nothing as for whatever reason this just isn't healing at all. I've been resting for the last week and I feel worse than ever. This must be something serious to still be around after a week of inactivity.

NEWS JUST IN: Lazy bastard was asleep. With his phone on silent. Had to get his girlfriend to call him and yell at him.

 

[Blaze163]

Sorry for double post but a few updates to cover. It was either this or posting yet another blog so this seemed the lesser of two evils.

I went to the doctor today. And...well, I knew they were useless but for fuck sake. The nurse took a look at me and looked at my file. I explained what was wrong and she did a few tests. Usual stuff, took a look at my ankle, my leg, twisting them ('cause that's the best way to deal with painful limbs, wrench them about the place) and then the same for my arm. She was truly baffled. She can offer a partial explanation for my leg, says that when Nanaki forced me down the stairs I may have over-stretched a ligament, which will remain painfully unusable for anything up to 8 weeks depending on the severity, which she decided from the look of pain on my face will be in the higher end of the spectrum.

She had absolutely no explanation for the increasing pain in my arms, my chest, the dizzyness or the nausea. Her only suggestion was to be reffered to another nurse at my local GP (I pointed out that I'd rather get buttfucked by a dragon with a cactus condom than see my current doctor, the guy who told my dad to walk off a broken back) and the nurse would be able to do blood tests and possibly an X-ray to see exactly what's wrong. She can confirm nothing is broken as far as she can see, which I suppose is good as it maintains my record of never having broken a bone (none of mine at least) but it's never good when you go to doctor in serious pain and it's getting worse, and the TLR version of their answer is a resounding 'fucked if I know'.

I've been informed that under no circumstances am I to return to work until fully healed as I could cause permenant serious damage to my leg if the ligament suffers another nasty knock. As for my other symptoms, she explained that she was as worried as I am because there seems to be no reason for them. There's certainly no event in my recent activities capable of causing such damage. Which to her implied that it was the effects of some previously unencountered virus. They'll have to do blood tests and all sorts to ascertain exactly what's wrong. She couldn't prescribe anything as it's well documented that I react badly to painkillers (they have the opposite effect on me, increasing the pain for reasons utterly beyond every doctor I've ever spoken to) so I'm basically stuck like this until either they figure out what's wrong in full or my natural defences rally for the big push and finally drive this virus out. Which seems unlikely as they've had a week and so far my white blood cells seem to be chillin'.

I have to call my GP in the morning for an appointment, followed by work to let them know that I'm under doctor's orders not to be there and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it. Should be fun. The pain is pretty intense a lot of the time now. I can't really afford more time off work but what else can I do? Go in and end up breaking my arm? Whichever way you slice it, I'm fucked. But at least by staying home I'll be fucked with Heather for company, instead of fucked and stressed the fuck out.

 

[Nathan Drake]

I'm kind of surprised that they just sent you home. At least where I am, if that many problems were there, especially the chest pain and odd pains, they would send you off to a hospital if you weren't already at one to get all of the tests done that you can get done in a day to try to find the problem. At least you have a small idea of what's potentially wrong. I guess this is also a sign that you shouldn't attempt any walking adventures for awhile (8 weeks?

Damn ligaments).

 

[MaxNuker]

Finally you went to the doctor? It was about time Blaze... It sucks..... ligaments why haz you got them?!

About the "virus" i'm surprised too that they just let you go like that

 

[Blaze163]

In all fairness the medical staff in this city are without exception a huge pile of dog shit tacos, so it's not that shocking. Seriously, they're useless. Every last one of them. They don't know a damn thing. I could maybe have forgiven that in the little surgery where I used to live, a little town on the outskirts of Derby, where info may have been harder to come by, but the hospital is two minutes away from the University. If you don't know what's wrong with me, GO LOOK IT UP. I think their answer to the damage to my arm being 'I seriously don't have a fucking clue' proves this theory.

It's work's reaction that will make things worse. I bet you any money that they'll whine about me being absent for so long, and even though they can't touch me for it, they'll no doubt give me the bare minimum hours. They're petty like that. You take one day off sick when they need you, and they punish you for weeks. That's why I need another job. But I don't see how I can continue with the hunt in this condition. At least the good news is that aside from the injuries noted I'm otherwise in good physical health, even my blood pressure is returning to normal. Probably thanks in no small part to Heather's divine influence. My scar's barely visible right now.

At least my companions are rallying to my aid. Heather has been in constant contact, Kevin has been with me all day, The Starling sisters have been worried sick about me, everyone on Facebook has been asking how I am, etc. Even the staff in the GAME store in town noted that I wasn't feeling well (Rachel noticed the minute I walked in that something was wrong, I wasn't even limping too bad at that point) and expressed their well wishes.

Don't worry. I'll be alright. Christ, if six inches of serrated steel jutting out of my chest doesn't finish me off I'll be damned if I'm being taken down by anything short of a bullet to the head or a hero's last stand. Nothing else will suffice. I'm not being sent to the next life by a fucking virus. I'm not my netbook.

 

[ProtoKun7]

Destiny Angel was the reference, yes.