Getting rid of the 'fetish' habit!

Discussion in 'General Off-Topic Chat' started by Canonbeat234, Jan 5, 2009.

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Jan 5, 2009
  1. Canonbeat234
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    Member Canonbeat234 Redeemed Temper

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    Let me just say that I'm glad that I can post inside a forum website that can be off-topic without the risk of getting banned nor getting scowled at by others; sadly I can't remove the opinions of those people who will ridicule me since that's normal behavior. I must warn you that the stuff I'm going to type is 'RAW' meaning that most of it is real and graphic.

    I have been having fetishes ever since I was young, usually the sniffing boys butt syndrome came into play ever since I was around 9 or 8. I won't add details who butts I have been sniffing let just say they were very close to me. It was just a phase during our boredom usually it happened inside the bathroom. Around the age of 13, I became more aroused during puberty which I did look up at porn sites. Which was interesting since it didn't arouse me like it usually does to other young male adolescents. I came across some 'watersports' websites that actually given me an instant hard-on. I observe and yearn for its content which is the first time I learned about download torrents; I started to look at videos of women urinating and all sorts of pee-play. I even done this quite frequently, hiding my profile being discreet about it.

    That's when the urge of this new thrill became more dominate inside my teenage years as I started to watch videos of 'scatology, watersports, flatulence, and toilet-play' which I did enjoy moments of it; I even rped with a few people about this stuff. Right now at the age of 21, revealing these fetishes to my father who happens to be an apostle (Note: I didn't reveal these fetishes to him until the age of 20, he came into my life at the age of 13 which is a whole different story) he tells me that these fetishes I have been seeing is wrong and sick. Also it will remove my love-interest for a women which its happening right now. It's not the first time that I had tried to remove my fetishes which I eventually slip up and go back to them eventually.

    I'm not looking for any professional help here! I'm looking forward what you people think I should do in order to stop this problem from occurring again.
    So far I stop downloading videos of that stuff however I somehow make my way to back to the websites.

    This subject is very new to other people however I need to get this off my chest since I do want children but keeping these fetishes isn't going to make a relationship happen any time soon. Thank you for patience for reading this stuff, also replying back.
     


  2. BiscuitBee

    Member BiscuitBee Semi-Resident Cookie-Bug

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    Kicking a habit is never easy. Especially when it is something you have been doing for a while AND something that brings plenty of gratification -- in this case, sexual pleasure.

    Unlike smoking, fetishes don't have a specialized 'gum' or 'patch' product that is readily available (that I know of!). The only thing I can suggest is to not feed the urge. You've already started by not downloading videos. The better you get at resisting that urge, the 'easier' it will be.

    There are likely to be more self-help articles about how to get rid of an addiction to pornography. So, if you search for those you might get some help that way, too.

    Good luck! I want to hear updates if you are willing [​IMG]
     
  3. Lily

    Former Staff Lily One Scary Lady

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    Hypnosis is generally an option in figuring out the source of your fetish and how to move past it. It allows you to make changes in your life as to how you see and respond to it. Therapy could help too--psychoanalysis can help get to the root of where it all started.

    No matter how you go about it, I wish you luck in getting past it and getting on with your life!
     
  4. Trolly

    Member Trolly GBAtemp Advanced Maniac

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    I personally have a small fetish, but thankfully it's only minor. I won't go into what it is aha, but not watching porn or anything like that is the first and biggest step. Looking at videos and that keep your mind on the fetish, and to lose it you'll need to keep your mind off it.
    As the person said above, I believe fetishes have some kind of psychological source (something in your past possibly), so seeing a hypnotherapist would likely help.

    Getting your dad to be on terms with it all, and to get him to accept you have a fetish that you want to be rid of will be key. And unfortunately the hardest thing of all, telling your girlfriend, will probably have to happen. Getting everything out in the open, and getting everyone to understand and help you is really what you need to do.

    Other than that, there's not really much else you can do other than just ignoring it.
     
  5. mthrnite

    Former Staff mthrnite So it goes.

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    Sometimes a fetish's attraction is simply it's societal or religious "wrongness", and as long as what you're doing isn't illegal or hurting anyone, there's no crime in indulging in it. You may find however, that if it is spurred on by your urge to do taboo stuff, that it may get old after a while, become "normal" in your eyes, and you'll be off to find a new taboo to break. That escalation can be a problem if the path leads you to darker and darker places however. So, I would suggest doing something thrilling, that provides you with the same "holy crap, I shouldn't be doing this" feeling, but leads you down a different path. A stand in "fetish" that is not sexual in nature. The first thing that comes to MY mind is rock/mountain climbing, but that's just because to me, there's not much else that can compete with the "wrongness" of hanging off a rock 100 feet off the ground.

    Everybody hunts for "the thrill" at some point or another in their lives, that's a natural urge. Some people find it in sex, some in drugs, some in doing excessive things that everybody else thinks is crazy. If you truly want to get off your current path, I'd suggest you find a different, yet just as thrilling path to traverse, keeping in mind how your future wife and kids would be affected by it of course.

    Seeing a psychologist wouldn't be a bad thing either. Even though large percentage of psychology is just plain voodoo (well, to me anyway) you could possibly unlock some reasons behind what is driving you towards what you, and possibly your future wife/kids would see as abnormal.
     
  6. Hop2089

    Member Hop2089 Cute>Hot

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    I have a slight bride fetish, but it doesn't really bother me in real life, even when at a wedding, but I do get very extreme dreams about them sometimes which results in me waking up with a small headache and all sweaty. As long as it doesn't involve young people and beasts, you probably won't be persecuted.
     
  7. UltraMagnus

    Member UltraMagnus hic sunt dracones

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    well... personally I don't really see a problem... what that saying "as long as its consensual and hurts no-one its fine with me"
     
  8. DrCaptainHarlock

    Member DrCaptainHarlock Hustle bones comin' out my mouth

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    I've got a Cory fetish, I get a raging erection whenever I see a young black kid in the White House. This is a serious problem, I can't go to Gamestop without seeing that Cory in the House game then I pop a boner.
     
  9. Canonbeat234
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    Member Canonbeat234 Redeemed Temper

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    This suppose to be a serious issue not some random BS trying to make it look important!
     
  10. NeSchn

    Member NeSchn GBAPimpdaddy.

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    ... I don't even know what to say. Ummm, I guess you can just try to ween yourself out of it.
     
  11. Zesu-chan

    Newcomer Zesu-chan Advanced Member

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    You're all wrong-minded.

    Your fetish isn't "evil" or "wrong", and in spite of what conformist society might tell you, fetishes can often strengthen relationships. All you need is a girl who's into the same kind of stuff, and a girl like that actually isn't that hard to find at all.

    I come from a community of FD fetishists. We're perfectly normal except we like it when girls need to pee or wet themselves. We aren't "a danger to others" or "a danger to ourselves". We're just like everybody else except for our fetishes.

    The path to controlling your fetish is NOT through fighting it, it's through SATISFYING it. Trying to repress your sexuality is VERY bad for your mental health. You can't help the way you are, it's not your fault, but trust me, you'll be a lot happier if you try to live with it than if you try to deny it. Your fetish is a part of your sexuality. It is a part of you. Trying to remove your fetish is like trying to remove a limb. Once you do, you'll never be able to indulge in the same enjoyable activities. If you get rid of your fetish, you won't GAIN an interest in normal sex, you'll just LOSE an interest in "unusual" sex. You'll only be taking away your hornyness, you won't be helping it. And you might often have a really difficult time getting aroused.

    For many years I was into FD, but refused to admit it until 9th grade. But once I started looking into it, I discovered that I was not alone. Although it felt wrong at first, after a while, I realized that there's nothing wrong with me at all. I didn't choose to be this way, and as soon as I admitted to myself that I like FD and started satisfying my urges, I had the time of my life.

    There are several basic lessons you should know:

    -Taking your fetish away will make it even harder to get horny, and I don't believe that anybody can truly rid themselves of a fetish. If you try to fight it, your urges might come out of nowhere and hit you like a rock when you least expect it weeks, months, or years later. That experience is never pleasant.

    -You can still have a perfectly healthy relationship even if you are a fetishist. Satisfying my fetish always kept me under control around girlfriends. The more often I fapped off to various fetishy content, the less often I'd feel the need to ask my girlfriend, "do you need to pee?" And before I knew it, I wasn't bugging her about it at all. If you satisfy your fetish, dates will go easier and you'll be able to focus on HER interests.

    -But if you find a girl who shares your fetish, or is open to trying it and gets into it, then that's even better, because you both have a common interest that you can indulge in all you want. It sounds unlikely, but believe me, there are plenty of fetishy girls. There might even be just as many fetishy girls as fetishy guys. Just because less of them reside on the internet, doesn't mean they don't exist.

    -Fetishes aren't "wrong". You don't need "help" unless you're out raping girls, tying them down and forcing them to satisfy you. But if you aren't doing that now, then you probably never will. Some people might try to make you believe that "the more you satisfy your fetish, the more frequently you'll need to satisfy it to keep yourself under control". But that simply isn't true, and if you're having problems controlling your fetish with the normal amount of satisfaction, it's because you've been brainwashed into believing that that's how it works. It's sort of like the placebo effect. Your fetish will ALWAYS be tame and easy to satisfy, as long as you keep that kind of MINDSET about it.

    Trust me. I'm speaking from personal experience.

    Don't fight your fetish, EMBRACE it! In the fetishist community, NOBODY walks alone.
     
  12. Vulpes Abnocto

    Former Staff Vulpes Abnocto Drinks, Knows Things

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    I can't say it any better than Zesu-chan has.

    Most people don't share your interests,
    however you're far from being alone.
    And to suppress your desires due to social nonacceptance will likely only cause you pain.

    If you bottle that part of you away,
    you'll regret it in time.

    This is the first aspect of you that I've even remotely liked.
    Sorry if I sounded like a therapist here.


    Take it from one who tried.
     
  13. p1ngpong

    Supervisor p1ngpong Legit Boss Harold

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    Hmm even though your habit is "niche" to put it mildly, your not hurting anyone, why pay attention to how others judge you?

    Fuck it if it makes you happy why stop, theres too many miserable people in this world that bow down to social pressures and die living a lie.

    And also making this topic here is incredibly brave, and I respect that, you have p1ngpongs support! [​IMG]
     
  14. nin10do

    Member nin10do GBAtemp Fan

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    i used to smoke. i quit cold turkey. i mean the only way to really stop doing something is to decide to stop doing it. then find something new to use up the time and replace the habit.
     
  15. Maktub

    Member Maktub GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    Well, it's as if an homosexual tried to stop being homo [​IMG] won't be of any use, IMHO.

    Try not to hurt your close ones (parents) and find someone to share it with (a partner of the same ideas). I think that should do?
     
  16. kevenka

    Member kevenka GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    Man...that is one creepy fetish...but in another sense; which isn't [​IMG]
    I think the best way to deal with it is to accept it like most have said. I mean, there's not much you can do except replace it...and that only works to some degree.
     
  17. Hop2089

    Member Hop2089 Cute>Hot

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    I hate to give your hopes up but finding a significant other with a compatible fetish even in a liberal location usually can be extremely difficult.
     
  18. Maktub

    Member Maktub GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    I know it's not easy (believe me, I do know). Maybe in the meantime you should just try not to hurt your parents and in time you'll happen to find someone... Dunno :/ Good luck anyway.
     
  19. miruki

    Member miruki GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    Mhn. I agree to Zesu and a few others, you should not try to get rid of it but instead focus on being happy with it. I'm sure they are plenty of girls who are into the same stuff, so.. well. Even if you're not able to find a girl with the same interest, I don't think it's good to try and ignore something that's part of yourself. Like somebody else already mentioned, you can't just go and get rid of homosexuality either - trying so will only bring you lots of despair. And those who compare this to smoking, wtf, it's something entirely different.

    Do you have any good friend who's into the same stuff you can talk to about your fetish and all?
     
  20. Trolly

    Member Trolly GBAtemp Advanced Maniac

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    Well, I agree, actually having a fetish is not wrong and something no-one can help. However, satisfying a fetish is a purely sexual and physical ritual, nothing to do with a proper relationship.

    Looking at it from an idealistic perspective, we should all be comfortable with how we look. For example, a regular guy usually finds a slim woman attractive, and so if a spouse or partner gets fatter, most guys will encourage her to lose weight. I guess many could see this as being in the interests of health, but usually the guy just wants his partner to have her slim, sexy body.
    This can be seen as fetishistic behaviour, no matter how common it is, just like this FD or any other fetish.
    Ideally, and in my opinion, a relationship is about personalities. Worrying about how people look or whether they satisfy your sexual urges is something that shouldn't be important. Though it's very much a problem in society that people get this the wrong way around.
     
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