1. drenal

    OP drenal that guy
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    All over the internet, I notice you churlish cretins bickering in an attempt to assert what you mistakenly believe to be the pinnacle of literature. I hear some of you say: Shakespeare, Milton, Dante or (laughably) Dickens. I am no indiscriminate literati. I have read the depths of human literature in all the known languages of man (and several that would be unknown to many of you supposed academics). The mere trash commonly circulating amongst you ignoramuses, I hold in the highest contempt. You will never hear me advocating those puerile emanations which detail nothing but discordant principles incapable of amalgamation, or those vapid tissues of ordinary occurrences from which no useful deductions can be drawn. Indeed, I posit that the ideals of literature you hold so dear are a factitious residue from years of ignorance. You fools all operate under the precept of what you think constitutes good literature. You are all inured to your incorrect notions of artistic merit which have been inculcated into you since childhood. What you buffoons fail to recognize is that the pinnacle of art is manifested in the form of Garfield. Yes, you have read correctly. Of all the extant literature I have encountered in my spiritual voyage through the canon and beyond, the one work that is able to resonate with me on a spiritual level is Garfield. I can already see you all being sent into hysterical histrionics at the very notion I have suggested. However, I stay steadfast and declare this truth openly. If you desire to challenge the assertion I have made then I invite you to trial by combat (or as some of the more internet savvy amongst you might say “@ me”) so that our contest of cerebrums can be determined by pugilistic decision.

    I will now engage in a free-flowing but dialectical discourse on why Garfield is the apotheosis of literature. Throughout the centuries, humanity has always used literature as a means of self-expression - as a means to externally manifest an internal truth. We see this in all of the great works, an engagement with the question “what is it to be human?”. These works explore the shared human condition, albeit with different lenses. Garfield is no different. A simple comic that can be refined down to three fundamental characters: Garfield, Jon and Odie. Now whilst we might expect this exploration of humanity to be conducted through the vessel of Jon, a human, who most clearly bears a resemblance to our shared humanity this is in fact a reductive reading. Instead we must conceive of all three characters as forming a trinity of three different persons who combine to represent the overarching state of the human condition. What is Garfield? He is our basest impulses, our repressed desires. Who amongst us doesn’t love lasagna? Who doesn’t hate Mondays? Allow me to explicate this further for you. Garfield, more than just enrapturing us with his his nubile, feline ways represents the human desire for a simple, unstrenuous existence through his fatuous attitude . When he boldly declares “I hate Mondays” it is hard to suppress tears at the resonance of this message. It permeates across humanity to all the working men, women and children of the world as they slave their days away in servitude. When he goes forth and eats all of Jon’s lasagna he embodies our repressed hedonistic desires. Garfield represents our desire for emancipation from the shackles of human existence. What then is Jon? Jon is the foil to Garfield. But he is more than this, he is the everyman. He is our avatar, for us to superimpose ourselves unto. He represents man in the absence of Garf’s light (as I have come to call it). Jon’s status as a philistine ennobles us to seek our enlightenment. Our pathos for Jon in his prelapsarian state motivates us to seek our own spiritual transcendence. And what then is Odie? I would now like to relate this discussion to the musings of Sigmund Freud. I feel his suggestion as to the structure of the human psyche has never been utilised better than in the works of Jim Davis. Garfield, of course, is the id representing our bodily needs, wants, desires, and impulses. Jon by contrast is the super-ego reflecting the cultural rules we have internalised, striving to abide by the social norm. Odie then is the ego, perpetually seeking to satisfy the id’s desires. We can see this in the obsequious, sycophantic behaviour of Odie who seems to long for Garfield’s satisfaction. This is not to say, whoever, that they do not come into conflict for, indeed, they certainly do. However, I regard this as a representation of the frequent clash that we find between the id and ego in our own lives. As Garfield espouses, our base desires cannot always be met - which is a primary source of conflict in our existence (this is one of the many lessons I have learned from Garfield). In short, what Jim Davis has done is create a simulacrum of the human experience, condensed into the activities of one trifecta of beings.

    When I was an impecunious young man still living in the absence of Garf’s light, I was not aware of the depraved nature of my existence. The lessons Jim Davis had to teach me were but distant meteorites yet to impact upon the surface of my spiritual existence. Readily I accepted my lot in life, not questioning the deep repressed desires I had within me. However, once Garf’s light entered my life, all my previous held convictions and beliefs were shattered. That antediluvian existence of mine immediately became profane and repugnant to me. I had an intense desire to become worthy of Garth’s teaching, through the betterment of myself. As such, my philosophical musings were informed by the lessons of Jim Davis and Jim Davis only. All my previous life experience appeared as a sterquinarium to my existence post-Garflightenment. Whilst my past life could be characterized as lachrymose, in Garfield I had found not only my peace but my happiness. I already see many of you still retaining the quixotic sentiment that a mere cartoon cannot provide spiritual nourishment. Indeed, I can only imagine the fervent uproar generated at this suggestion. Yet I cannot help but ponder why Garfield’s teachings have not already garnered a gargantuan accretion of followers. Moreover, I find it laudable that you buffoons think to mock me for my superior state. I’m sure you think you have found your fill in your other so-called ‘religions’ but, contrapuntally, I must assert that you couldn’t be further from the truth - Garf’s truth. I can hear the cacophonous uproar this post is generating amongst you. Yet I feel the congery of fans that Garfield has generated over the years, whilst respectable, is not nearly sufficient to pay tribute to the masterpiece that Jim Davis has created for us. The lack of recognition for this man is a diminution of what should be his prophet-like status. I can only imagine what was going through Jim Davis’ mind when he delivered Garfield unto us. What kind of thoughts were circulating in that maelstrom of intellectual power that lead to the creation of our truth. In my mind this moment is the pinnacle of human achievement. Jim Davis’ work transcends all others. I hear some of you retorting “but what about Edison turning on the light bulb or Marconi turning on the radio or Beethoven writing his fifth. To you detractors I say, keep your peace. The sublimities of Garfield are wasted on you heathens. You haven’t the moral rectitude or intelligence to appreciate him. The tumult of my mind can barely contain the new heights of spiritual gratification Garf has bestowed upon me. Even with the luxury of a million years, I could not enumerate all the ways in which Garf’s light has ennobled my life, elevating me from a boorish ignoramus to the intellectual titan you see before you. My mind has become a gargantuan planet in comparison to the minute particle it formerly was. I need not assure you that my testimony is not comprised merely of fictitious fabrications but is a completely faithful account of my enlightenment.

    Don’t obsequiously post in the comments with your “haha I hate mondays” or “lol lasagnas”. I ignore such attempts at appeasement with a deference only maintainable through the will of the Garf (please ensure you capitalize the G when spelling his name.) I hope this little excursus will militate against you ignoring Garf’s light any longer.
     
  2. SG854

    SG854 If It Bleeds, We Can Kill It
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    Oh My God... I am not reading that.
     
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  3. Dionicio3

    Dionicio3 The Skiddo
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    Nice copypasta
     
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  4. DRAGONBALLVINTAGE

    DRAGONBALLVINTAGE The GBATemp Hacker
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    Me after reading this

    [​IMG]
     
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  5. keven3477

    keven3477 Fresh Prince of Lemonade
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    tldr;...

    that's the correct way on using this abbreviation right?
     
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  6. Deleted User

    Deleted User Newbie

    应该是tl;dr
     
  7. smileyhead

    smileyhead I like cute stuff.
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  8. Glyptofane

    Glyptofane Death Dealer
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    Garfield is a hack. Heathcliff is OG.
     
  9. supergamer368

    supergamer368 Mostly lurker, full idiot
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    39A4E29F-9AF2-4753-9720-85A1CC44FCAB.jpeg 76CE1903-5AC1-4316-920B-921851E8B5B3.jpeg
    yes indeed high quality stuff
     
  10. Subtle Demise

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  11. Lilith Valentine

    Lilith Valentine GBATemp's Official Succubus™ That’s crazy
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    TL: DR
    Thread sounds like copypasta
     
  12. SANIC

    SANIC GBATemp's Sonic Fan in Residence, 後
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    Your mom is the apotheosis
     
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  13. Dionicio3

    Dionicio3 The Skiddo
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    It is a copypasta
     
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