finished retalionship with my girlfriend

Discussion in 'General Off-Topic Chat' started by ridgecity, Sep 12, 2006.

Sep 12, 2006
  1. ridgecity
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    Member ridgecity GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    After knowing her since last december and being together for 6 months a few days back, I dediced to finish this relationship. The main thing is that I think I don't love her anymore, I like her very much but not loving her. I feel pretty bad since she loves me a lot, and I just didn't want to finish it from one day to the next. I stopped seing her regulary and saw her about a week ago, and even then most of the time we were together she started fighting because I didn't go to visit her, but I didn't do it because I wasn't happy anymore. I kind of feel like she was the one to marry but got dissapointed due to her way of fighting. Once she got angry she felt really sick and then started vomiting due to how bad she felt. I didn't want to make her feel so bad. So I decided to do this: make her choose between her best friend (who happens to be a bad person, since she kind of envious of how happy we were) and me, and she said that I was very bad by making her choose, and accept her like she is with all whoever are near her.. I can't stop crying since I don't know I what I did was good or bad. any help or advice people??? [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     


  2. OG LOCC NESS

    Member OG LOCC NESS GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    you can't stop loving someone.... if you are having second thoughts then you probably still want to be with her. just apologize and try to work things out.
     
  3. INTERNETS

    Member INTERNETS GBAtemp Regular

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    Yeah, what you did was pretty bad - I don't understand why you couldn't just sit down with the girl and explain to her why you were disinterested. Really, even though that hurts still as well, it's a hell of a lot better than giving your girlfriend an ultimatum (which is something usually reserved for people at the very end of their straws - the reason being, it's an unusually painful way of dealing with stubbornness).

    All in all, it's always better to just reason with people instead of resorting to theatrics.
     
  4. blueraja

    Newcomer blueraja Member

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    Thats kind of a crappy way of ending a relationship. Got news for you...if you even entertain the idea that she is a person you would marry..its probably more love than you think. I played a similar game when I was younger and basically wasted 4 years of my life. I broke up with my girlfriend after I graduated so that we woudlnt have to endure a long distance relationship...basically for no good reason. I spent 4 years trying to convince myself that I was over it, that I didnt love her, but a mutual friend talked us into speaking as friends just to catch up. A few months later she flew out to visit me...we have been married 15 years now. As for her friend, friends can be annoying as hell when your dating, especially if they arent or have less of a relationship than yours, yes its jealousy. Rather than focus on the friends hostility and annoyances try to include her a bit so she doesnt feel like she is loosing her best friend, double dating is also a good idea. Killing them with kindness always works better than returning hostility.
     
  5. 754boy

    Banned 754boy :D

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    Yeah man, those jealous best friends are a bitch. Sorry to hear about that. Like INTERNETS said, sit down and tell her how u feel and why you feel that way. If that doesn;t work then say goodbye.
     
  6. mthrnite

    Former Staff mthrnite So it goes.

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    I respect what blueraja is saying, but I'm gonna give you the other side of the coin here.

    You'll never find a perfect relationship, but you want to get it just as near perfect as you possibly can.
    If you can say you care for her, but can't say you love her, then it's a lot too far away from perfect.
    The way you ended things wasn't very nice, but there's not really any nice way to end a relationship, just different degrees of bad ways.
    If you really do care about her, don't go bouncing back to her in a few weeks. Let her know you can't see her for a while, then get the hell away and stay away. Her love for you needs to drain away, that takes time, and you'll just be prolonging her pain if you keep popping in and giving her hope.
    If you make a clean and decisive break, you'll be more likely to become friends later on... maybe much later on.

    If that makes sense, do it. If it doesn't, then maybe another try is in order. If you do try again though, be as honest as you can with her, all the time. Make sure she loves the real you.

    ... and don't rely on advice from others too much. You've got a heart and a mind, keep them in balance and they'll see you through.

    Good luck, buddy.
     
  7. ds6220

    Member ds6220 GBAtemp Fan

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    Well, here's the thing. I am not sure what the age range here is but I am sure some of you must have been in a relationship that you first thought "This is the one!!!" You loved that person with all your heart.....but......when you are young (I say this because the first few relationships always feel like you took a hit on the happy juice) you don't realize that that may not be the case. You start to feel like something is not right and don't know what to do so you look for any out at all. He chose the "make the girl want to break up with you" trick. It works but is kind of crappy. The hardest thing to do is actually talk about your feelings (cause you are a guy. look, I don't want to talk about feelings either. I would rather just play Mario) but sometimes in relationships (relation-shits? Dane?) you have to. I think I got lost here....where was I?? Oh yeah. I am married and lover her with all my heart. I don't always want to be around her...that is just people being people...but I can't see myself without her. Our tenth year anniversary is this October. We have had a ton of great times but there have been some very rough spots......I guess what I am saying is that if deep down you can't see yourself with her....it is done. It just has to be. Now where did I put my DS...... [​IMG]
     
  8. ridgecity
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    Member ridgecity GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    THANKS FOR THE REPLIES GUYS; YOU ARE THE FRIENDS I NEEDED RIGHT NOW. I understand what you guys are saying. I know the way I decided to finish things is very night/day thing, but the problem is she even told me a while ago, to stop getting her hopes up. I'm 27 and she's 22. The friend has done pretty bad stuff to her and she stopped talking to her a while a go suddenly after a summer trip I took to my grandma's town she started becoming very insecure of me, and started fighting like twice a day. I'm a kind of guy that knows if the girl the "the one" in the first month. Also, my girl has 5 BROTHERS, and 2 of them are pretty "mexican standoff" guys, I'm a tough guy but nothing compared to those guys. So I was afraid that if somehow after a few drinks we might start argueing, and believe or not "gamers" are pretty wimps in reality, at least me.... hahaha, so I was scared, not to mention her father didn't know we were together! I didn't want to end this like just don't answer the phone but like some of you say, there's no nice way to end a relationship other than continue being friends. I'm a calm dude and she is very feisty (like moody) and we clashed like twice a day. Mexican guys are mostly bastards, I'm not, at least not until today! I did everything for her and tried to please her in every way, but she was more like controlling me and pulling my strings, and I tried to let her be, something I regret ever doing since now that I was in control of the relationship, I don't love her anymore...

    I hope god doen't punish me for doing her this. Something weird happen Saturday, the day I believe everything was supposed to fix. It was a very nice day until the moment I drove to her house, right about halfway she called me on the phone telling that it was raining pretty hard, and I told her that it was a light shower by her house so don't worry. Suddenly, MAN! it was like a hurricane (believe me, I know) With giant hail and couldn't seee shit in front of me, at 4pm! right after I take a turn to the main road It was flooded! in a 30 minute rain! so I got trapped in traffic so I had to jump out and tell everyone to backway since the way was getting flooded! I was su fucking scared since those idiots didn't believe me! I was taking video with the cellphone just so everyone would beleive me... anyways I tell her the road was closed and I was going home, she told me ok bye. Go back to my neihborhood and it was not raining there, so I call her again and tell her if the rain had stoppped and she said yeah, so I told her I might try another way, and she said to go by if I wanted to, what do you think happened? the truck started choking and sounds as if the engine was going to stop and the dashboards started making all kind of weird noise I had never heard! weird.... very..... So I call her and tell her the truck was messing up and she told me "you are just playing with me! go back to house so stop making fun of me, bye" I was in a gas station at the moment so the guys were going to help me with the problem and the fucking truck started working again, If the wires had been wet it would have taken longer to dry... I took this a a sign since everything was going to get resolved that day. It hasn't rained like that since Saturday.... think it was sign? or am I crazy?
     
  9. Garouken

    Member Garouken GBAtemp Regular

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    did you feel for a second, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, i want to see her?
    i dont want her to think bad of me like that>.>;

    if yes, then u love her =)
     
  10. ridgecity
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    Member ridgecity GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    I guess what you say about me don't wanting her to think bad about it is right, but me wanting to see her, I didn't think that. What does that mean? [​IMG]

    my sister thinks I did the right thing, since after being happy with her I had still to deal with the family, I'm from the gulf coast and I been living here for 2 years but I'm still kind of a new guy. People here are very agressive, and very close-minded, so I was worried about his father accepting me... damn. I wish there really was a PAUSE button with a RESTART LEVEL option [​IMG]
     
  11. Garouken

    Member Garouken GBAtemp Regular

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    u broke up cause, your scared of her father?
    if she loves you, and you her...u shouldnt be afraid..

    i had gf i broke up cause she had anoying friends>.>;


    but dont get back together with her, if ur not sure, ur up to job 2 face her dad and brothers [​IMG]

    + its better to take beating then be scared and run away, im sure worst they will do is give u hard time =)
     
  12. Squiffy

    Member Squiffy GBATemp's Little Embarrassment

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    This has to be a joke. If not, get back with this girl because she is obviously some sort of weather controlling succubus!
    Also, she sounds like a bitch and you sound whipped.
     
  13. Garouken

    Member Garouken GBAtemp Regular

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    i think, she's angry... a little.

    if you dont want her to be angry with her, show her the video u made with ur cellphone
    she's paranoid/afraid u have someone else...just, maybe...
    suggestion...
    if you dont want to lose her, as girlfriend.
    u should be a men fast if you want to have future with her.

    if not you can always, go play the buttons of your, [​IMG] or [​IMG]

    [​IMG] but if your a men, [​IMG] tell her u love her.

    and if not im sure you'll meet someone else, sooner or later.

    [​IMG] thats about right
     
  14. saxamo

    Member saxamo Spaaaaace!

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    Well It may be if you thought that oh man you want to see her, that could mean she's a crutch.

    Or not, lol. I just got out of a 2 year relationship because we were using eachother as a crutch and it was the best thing for eachother. We're still best friends [​IMG]

    but omg it was hard in the beginning
     
  15. mthrnite

    Former Staff mthrnite So it goes.

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    [​IMG] [​IMG]

    Ok, sorry... anyway, just wanted to add this:
    Strip away all the parental, friend, and weather issues, and get back to the main point.

    Do you like her, or do you love her?

    And don't worry about god being p.o.'d at you. He's got way too much to do elsewhere to be paying much attention to your relationship problems.
    You're on your own on this one.
    (trust me, I'm an atheist, I know these things... [​IMG] )
     
  16. crescentsaber

    Newcomer crescentsaber Advanced Member

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    This is sounding too much like a drama...

    first of all..

    Think of the responsibilities you will have to face if you guys patch back, and have some quiet time with yourself. Are you able to face those ? Are you strong enough to be by her side through everything that will come your way ?

    chicks don't think like we do, they WILL ( most of the time, say, 99% of the time ) think of how to achieve happiness in the present time, but we guys usually are long-term minded. You have to solve this on your own, mate.

    I don't believe in signs, specially weather-based signs, they are just too predictable. If you'd listened to the weather forecast that day you'd know a big storm are coming your way so its definitely not a sign.

    anyway... responsibilities. Thats the only thing you need to think abt rite now. Are you strong enough ?

    GO ! TRUCK OTOKO !
     
  17. ridgecity
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    Member ridgecity GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    I like her. I don't see myself in the future with her. I used to, but now I don't.
    I wish we could stay as friends but I don't like how that works since its like keep something that already went wrong. And I don't have the guts to tell her I don't love her anymore since that would crush her. That's why I was trying to... well I don't even know what I was trying to do! hahaha. My mom asked me about what happened and she told me to think about the future, and what might happen if we had kids already and something like this happened. Why should they pass for something a a divorce because the couple doesn't work. I guess what happened to me is I got bored of what we had. It wasn't making me happy anymore being with her. And for me that's a big thing, even if it's just 10% of a relationship. I used to tell see I aw us married in the future, but she told me she saw the same but didn't want to get married yet. Little details like that strted bilding up until it spilled the glass.
     
  18. Mucuna

    Member Mucuna GBAtemp Fan

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    Aaah... humans!:-D

    A few points to be considered:

    - Is it love or is it because you get used to her and have a possession feeling? Be aware! You can misunderstand between the two.

    - Do you fight a lot? Dude, it is very, very harassant. Fight is something that drains you energy (and hers too). I had relationships that I'd rather stay the weekend playing my PS2 than go out with the girl.

    - Want to finish the relationship? Avoid contact with her! That will make the feeling end faster. It can be tough in the beginning... but... nah, it'll get better quickly.

    - Nothing is forever. Enjoy!

    - Don't make it a drama in your life.


    Being with a new girl could help ya too.:-)


    Think about it!

    And, yes, you were a jerk asking her to decide between you and her friend. Sorry to tell ya that.
    Even if her friend is a asshole! Just let them both know that.;-)

    The golden rule: No screaming, not get passionate, don't be agressive (when breaking up and mostly when telling her friend that she is a asshole. Be cold in that moment, if not, you lost the reason.)

    Edit: Oh yeah, and you both will survive. It is not like you will disgrace her life forever. She forgets. (I know It is hard to break up with someone that loves you, indeed)
     
  19. ridgecity
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    Member ridgecity GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    Thanks Mucuna. I think that sums it up rather well... thanks a lot to everyone for their help... [​IMG]
     
  20. iza

    Member iza gbatemp, the new crack

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    I will cut your goddamn balls off and stuff them into a burrito and make you eat it puto. pendejo.

    White guys are mostly pussy's...so that makes us bastards when we know your going to back down when get a little scared? you might as well get some fucking nerves and maybe a life, if you fell in love in 6 months.

    ps. never EVER make fun of a mexican if you come to texas.
     

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