You’d think the world has learned by now that cultural appropriation is literal violence. Although Mexicans from Mexico don’t actually care who wears sombreros, liberal elites in America likeKaty Perry and Lena Dunham have declared the practice haram and therefore we must obey. That’s why I am absolutely losing it about Nintendo’s decision to include a Mexico level in the upcoming Super Mario Odyssey where Mario wears a sombrero and a serape. Not cool, guys. This racism simulator, passing off as a piece of entertainment, has the gall to steal and bastardize a rich Mexican cultural heritage. Mario plays the part of the colonialist, sapping the land of resources (coins and stars) while viciously stomping to death the native inhabitants. Super Mario is already an incredibly problematic game because of its retrograde gender roles where a straight white male rescues a princess from danger. Despite the many tear-soaked articles posted on Polygon and Kotaku, the creator of Mario, Shigeru “literally Hitler” Miyamoto, refuses to change the format of the game and make Mario trans, while allowing Princess Peach to smash the patriarchy with a slight tap of the “A” button. The only way Nintendo can fix this is by canceling the game and starting over. If they need to hire me on as a “Political Correctness Supervisor” with a six-figure salary, I would gladly help them make my dream project, Super Mario: White Genocide Sunshine.