Discuss dating/sex/girls in general

[IainDS]

I'm not bothering any girls until I finish Uni. I cba for all the crap involved.

 

[Nero]

Sorry about that ace and Gaisuto!

To be honest, I also have some problems with my girl... maybe not problems really, but still kinda problem-ish...

she get's very cranky and moody easily... most cause of the birth controll pills, i guess they're called.

Like yesterday, I didn't walk her home, and she started crying... I even had the reason that I have too much homework to do (and she came by my house for 10 minutes, unnoticed).

and the day before, she was angry at me, and cried, because It took so long for me to eat and go to her place (when I had to wait for my parents to finish preparing the dinner!)...

Now, it's not really a big problem, as we both know what it's caused by, but I still think it's tough for me mentally... what do you think?
(and, i just gave these two examples, and she cries or get's mad for things just as small, pretty much all the time).

Do her something really special, like get her flowers and ask her out to a movie. (Examples, examples.

)

Does she like how you do it in bed?

I smell Mood Swings too.

~Nero

 

[tjas]

I had some problems with my girl today… it began yesterday; I had to babysit at my neighbors… I know sounds boring but I did get money which I was going to spend a few hours later in the city

I asked if she wanted to go with me.. And she reacted no sorry I’m not in the mood.. I was like oke.. Why bother, when I tried to call her she replied I’ll talk to you in the city (I was going out that same evening) and I was like…. Ooownoo what did I do this time

so I was in the club where I always go to and I first saw another friend of mine (female) so I gave her some kisses (not on the lips duuh) and I turn around and there is my girlfriend, so I walk to her for a kiss and she refuses! So I said: common what’s the problem? She didn’t answer so I ignored here the rest of the evening until she came to me and asked: what’s wrong? HUH? You refused a kiss me… she says I did not… yes you did and so on. So she said why are you angry so I said well…. You didn’t want to call or come over and you ignored me when I wanted to kiss you… and she was like: O sorry! I didn’t mean it and I was feeling a bit down so I didn’t want to come over… but I really love you!
Bottom line is:
Women are weird creatures… but I can’t live without here (A)

 

[Digeman]

Here's some good info for you guys out there that was written by me and some other dude....no I'm not beeing lazy...the posts were huge

Alright...where to begin....well let me just start of by just saying, EVERY and I mean EVERY human is different! Male, female, a little bit of both, it doesn't matter! There...good..did y'all get that? Can we put it behind us now? No? Oh well, guess I gotta explain to y'all thenÂ

Now, you've all heard that before right? And you're probably thinking "Duuuh artard! I know thaaaaat". But if you did know that you wouldn't be asking stupid stuff like "why do girls pee together?!" or
"do gurlz fart?!" ....ofcourse they do! And it prolly smells like poo, we all knew that girls fart too! (damn i should make a song about that)

Anyways back on topic! Now, beeing almost always surrounded by women 24/7 (not trying to brag or anything but i'm the only guy in my class with 31 girls, at home I'm with my mother and my two younger sisters since my dad works late, and I'm the only guy working in the gyms kindergarden), so I kinda got an inside view of how things are. I came to realize that all of them are really different from eachother, and I mean really different! But the thing is, when people are with other people, they are often expected to be in a certain way, this applies to both guys and girls in different situations. Guys trying to be macho/manly, trying to be really athletic, trying to be smart and funny etc. , and girls, talking about i dunno...relationships with other girls, trying to be smart and all knowing, and generally "girlish" (or not girlish if they're non-conformistsÂ

). And yes, I've seen many that totally change their attidude as soon as a guy/guys walk in, same thing applies to guys here aswell, some get all macho while others (this is where a lot of gamers fit in) don't know how to "act" which isn't a bad thing really (but it can make you overthink and overanalyze things in all eternety ).Â

This is one of the reasons why guys and girls for that matter often have a lot of prejudice against eachother and often generalize all the time. Which ofcourse is a BIG NONO!

So simply put, there is no "this is THE way girls work" or "yeah all guys are the same", that's a load of bull! I'm not saying I'm absolutely right, all I'm saying is that there is so much more too it than people think, everything from peer pressure, what parents expect from you, what soceiety expects from you, basically everything you hear, see, experience etc.Â

Oh right, so, as I said, everyone is different so there's no telling how or what or why if we don't know the actuall people involved, circumstances and so on.


QUOTEI second that.

This is how it was/is for me I don't know how old you are or whatever but when I was like 16-18 (im 23 now) I too was very interested in girls and extremely shy and it was all about how to get a girl and what "techniques".
One of my techniques was to walk around and give girls eye contact and see if they liked me.
A Lot of them looked away and some smiled but its usually normal for people to look away and this never
actually got me laid/a date.
I was single up until now probably because of these "techniques" and this kind of thinking that comes with this.
As you know People/girls are not computer games everyone is different. Also people(especially girls) are highly sensitive to what you are thinking and what your motives are for this reason we can only act honest and naturally and not try and be secretive.
IF you have a game plan or you are doing something not spontaneously/unnaturally then girls will sense this straight away I don't think you can learn anything useful from not doing something that just happens naturally.

I think the problem with staring at girls is that its all about trying to see their reaction and learn something because you are scared that you will do the wrong thing if you don't know how they feel .

The most important lesson I learned:
You need to let go of what other people want.
Stop looking for signals. Stop reading body language.
Lose that idea of constantly trying to read peoples minds by looking at them because we cant.
Don't worry if they like you or not thats not the point because they don't actually know you.
Girls like you not because they looked at you from afar and decided from that moment they like you(though often we fall in love with our own false idea of someone based on how they look). They like you/will like you because of how friendly you are to them and how genuinely interested you are in them and how honest you are, they like you because they saw something real.
People are highly sensitive and changeable beings.
They also usually behave honestly when treated honestly and behave fake when treated fake.
People change depending on how you treat them so for this reason don't worry about what they think.
You may feel sometimes they don't like you at first idealy you shouldn't be thinking about what they are feeling about you
don't focus on that or let it enter your mind in any way(it will infect you) you are there to be friendly and kind regardless if you can do that then you will notice that you changed someones opinion of you.
Its a good feeling when you can finally not worry about who likes you but focus on liking people

Alrighty you might've noticed that they're a little out of context since it was written on another thread, but still some good stuff in there for a discussion about guys/girls, dating and stuff

. And you might've also noticed i kinda snapped...but the guy (and lots of others) kept saying idiotic stuff like "they l00k awai all deh thime!" and that girls are this and that....etc.

 

[Digeman]

I had some problems with my girl today… it began yesterday; I had to babysit at my neighbors… I know sounds boring but I did get money which I was going to spend a few hours later in the city

I asked if she wanted to go with me.. And she reacted no sorry I’m not in the mood.. I was like oke.. Why bother, when I tried to call her she replied I’ll talk to you in the city (I was going out that same evening) and I was like…. Ooownoo what did I do this time

so I was in the club where I always go to and I first saw another friend of mine (female) so I gave her some kisses (not on the lips duuh) and I turn around and there is my girlfriend, so I walk to her for a kiss and she refuses! So I said: common what’s the problem? She didn’t answer so I ignored here the rest of the evening until she came to me and asked: what’s wrong? HUH? You refused a kiss me… she says I did not… yes you did and so on. So she said why are you angry so I said well…. You didn’t want to call or come over and you ignored me when I wanted to kiss you… and she was like: O sorry! I didn’t mean it and I was feeling a bit down so I didn’t want to come over… but I really love you!
Bottom line is:
Women are weird creatures… but I can’t live without here (A)

Oh and to that. Just pure misscommunication/missunderstanding. You gotta just take a step back and think reasonably without pushing eachothers buttons.

Oh and don't leave anything bottled up inside, if there's something you're worried/confused about ask her (but ask in like an honest way and not in a sarcastic/annoying or whatever kindof way...what i'm trying to say is ask because you really want to know about whatever...meh you get the point

)

Edit: Man I kinda feel like Dr.Phill...but with a 'fro!

 

[zeppo]

Women are weird creatures… but I can’t live without here (A)

And thus, the famous "Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em".

 

[eonwe217]

hey you're pretty much right there being honest and asking is a must in a relationship.
being honest is the best tool for true lovers believe me, it makes sex far more enjoyable .

 

[cubin']

thanks for letting us have a thread mods. It'll be nice to keep it in one place and on topic.

I need a girlfriend

I think i'll go out this weekend and meet some new people.

some wise words there digeman

 

[Issac]

Yeah, that was a wery good read Digeman! and I couldn't agree more

Zeppo: We tried changing pills, and it was better, but there's still these mood swings.. and well, We can live with them.. it's just annoying sometimes. But since we both know the reasons, I don't take it that hard when she's angry at me.

Nero: I give her gifts every now and then, and take her out.. that's not an issue

and she's well pleased in bed, i can assure you that

(she actually get's cranky if she doesn't get any when we meet

)

I'm excited on how Zeppo's doing today

 

[zeppo]

Well, today went well. She seems more comfortable around me when she's near her friends now.

 

[DarkAura]

How often do you talk to her? The more talking you do, the quicker you guys get comfortable.

 

[zeppo]

about 20 minutes every morning and 20 minutes every afternoon on a school day.

 

[DarkAura]

Walk her to her classes or something or walk her home.

 

[zeppo]

we have different classes and different bus stops. I seriously think everything's going fine right now.

 

[Issac]

Well that's good Zeppo!
Just as dark aura said: Try spend some more time with her during the day

talk to her when she's around her friends, and when your friends are nearby... I think it might be a good idea

Just remember to do something physical... like when you told your legs touched, and measuring your feet... things like that... making eachother more comfortable to the other's touch... that's a REAL plus!

half past one, and i am going up at six again

4,5 hours sleep each day for like... 2,5 months now

 

[DarkAura]

BEAR HUG!!!

 

[zeppo]

yeah, but there's someone else who sits near us on the bus who says stuff like "a litte forward, don't'cha think?" and it's pretty damn annoying... It doesn't help at all and has made me more cautious lately.

 

[Zarcon]

yeah, but there's someone else who sits near us on the bus who says stuff like "a litte forward, don't'cha think?" and it's pretty damn annoying... It doesn't help at all and has made me more cautious lately.

I refer to one of my favorite online writers.
http://www.outpostnine.com/editorials/mating3.html

I believe the person meant well in that, a girl doesn't want a person that needs her, rather, a girl wants a guy who complements her. Not complement as in give her praise and all that (although the occasional complement is good) but complements as in meshes well with her and can be a PART of her life instead of her BEING your life.

Erm, that probably came out as a huge jumble of words...
Eh, just read up on that link. XD

 

[zeppo]

I read that page, and I get what it's saying.
However, since she doesn't have any guy friends besides me and... well, I don't have to worry about her "finding some jerk to fuck", I'm pretty much okay... I'll just slowly start doing more one-on-one type stuff...

 

[Zarcon]

It's not so much worrying about "some other jerk to fuck" but worrying about not being attractive to her as a potential boyfriend/lover.

Remember, try and be part of her life, not being her life or her life being yours. =P