Crappy jokes!

[BoneMonkey]

ok post a crappy joke

KEEP THEM SHORT!

here is mines


What do you call a gay dinosaur? Mega Sore Ass

 

[Ferrariman]

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To run away from the KFC guy.

 

[pasc]

why is the chicken death ?


....

because the truck was faster.

 

[juicy_mokro]

its green and you cant see it
a pickle around the corner

 

[science]

Why do Seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they would be called bay gulls. (Bagels)

 

[WildWon]

What do you call a fish with no eyes?


A fsshhhhhhh.

 

[BoneMonkey]

what kind of key won't open a door ?

a DONKEY !

 

[joemommasfat]

What's brown and sticky?


A stick

 

[xalphax]

whats big, green, square and hurts if it hits you at the head?

a Billiard Table.

 

[Westside]

What's brown and sticky?


A stick

That's not as bad as the similar joke I heard:

What red and looks like a bucket?

Spoiler

A red bucket!

 

[leetdude_007]

What's a room that's soft and squishy?

A mushroom.

(1 up for pure awesomeness in terms of crappy joke)

 

[scubersteve]

What side of the chicken has the most feathers?

THE OUTSIDE!

I have this one friend who can tell it so seriously, that it's hilarious.

 

[Mangofett]

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

Because she's a woman.

 

[Westside]

Why was Helen Keller woman?

Because he/she can't drive.

fix;d

 

[BoneMonkey]

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

Because she's a woman.

one bacon point to linki

 

[Bob Evil]

A man, on his way home from a late-night drinking session, realises exactly how late he is, and decides to take the shortcut home, through the cemetery ...

Walking quickly, he heads towards the other side ...

Then, from somewhere in front of him, he hears a tapping ... slow and steady ... tap, tap ... tap, tap ...

Summoning all his courage, he carries on ... tap, tap ... tap, tap ... It grows louder ...

Knowing he is nearly at the other side, and then all he'll have to do is vault the fence, and he'll be home ... safe and sound ... he keeps walking, his pace picking up 'til he's almost running ... tap, tap ... tap, tap ...

Breaking into a sprint, he rounds the side of an old crypt, and almost falls over an old man, who is kneeling on the grass, a bag of tools at his side, working on the stone with a hammer and chisel ...

"Jeez, old fella ... what the hell are you doing here at this time? You scared the crap outta me!"

The old man looked slowly up at him, and as their gazes met, the old man said, "They spelled my name wrong."

 

[xcalibur]

What did hHellen Keller do when she fell off the cliff?

She screamed her hands off.

Also

Two cement bags were outside.
Suddenly it starts raining.

The first cement bag says to the other : argh, I hate rain.
The second bag says back : Shut up, the rain'll make you tough.

Also

Two muffins are in an oven.
First one says to the other : ah its hot in here isn't it?
The second says back : AAAAH A TALKING MUFFIN!

Also

Two people are stranded in the desert and are shouting for help seperately.
Suddenly they meet and the first person says to the other: hey lets shout together.
The second says: OK.

TOGETHER!TOGETHER!TOOOOGGEEETTHHEERRR

 

[paul1991]

Why doesn't Hellen Keller ever go sky-diving?

It scares the crap out of the dog!

 

[Westside]

What are women's mouth used for?
Same thing that men's mouth are used for! You silly perverts.

 

[paul1991]

I found out my cat was Jewish yesterday.






















I threw a penny across the floor and he ran after it.