Clerks, give us your stories of stupid customers.

[Bi99uy]

I work in a chain of stores in Sweden, that are relatively small. We sell pretty much everything from Dildos to RC Planes to stupid USB Gizmos. As such we get plenty of customers who are

A) Really geeky and precise of what they want.
B) Completely moronic.
C) Parents who use the store as a daycare center.

Group A are for the most part pretty entertaining. Usually they are easy to talk to and are pretty nice in general. However, for every nice person, there is 2 assholes.

Group B are a funny bunch. We sell a novelty toy called a ( Magic 8 Ball.) One time a girl asked how it works to which i replied that you ask it a yes and no question and the ball answers. She just stared at it and said "Hello" to it and then listened for a response and said that it was probably broken as it would not talk back to her.

Another funny story is when a little kid took the ball, asked if it was going to get candy and the got completely batshitcrazy and yelled at his mother for 5 minutes that she promised him candy and quoted the box "It never lies" as the mother calmly tried to tell it that he was going to get candy.

My favorite must have been when to 14 year old girls came into the store and ask detailed questions of which vibrator would work best for them and however or not it was sanitary to just by one and share it between them. They went home with a "Smacky Jacky" (Google for pics)

Group C, well the picture speaks for it´s self

.

The kid ran around with a Powerball screaming Rasengen. It seriously could not stop laughing.

So peeps, tell us you worst/best memories of being a Clerk, A Support Technician or whatever. I have much more stories to be told, but as i am a bit wasted at the moment, i really can´t remember most of them.

 

[nintendofreak]

Wait for Jumpman. He works at an office supplies store.( if i remember correctly

) Oh the stories

I just read your post

That picture is gold!!

 

[Pigwooly]

Back when I was a computer lab technician in college I had a woman ask why her file wouldn't copy onto her zip drive.

I explained that she had a 1.2 gigabyte file and that her zip disk could only fit 1 gigabyte of data. I told her that she would need to get a bigger disk if she wanted to copy the file (this is in the days before dvd burners).

She then proceeded to scream at me that it wasn't fair for me to require her to spend money on a new disk and that it was somehow my fault it wouldn't fit. She should have enrolled in one of the schools logic courses.

 

[Salamantis]

I don't get the picture... D:

 

[Sonicslasher]

I don't get the picture... D:

somebody point it out, i iz confused

 

[EarthBound]

I don't get the picture... D:

ITS NARUTO!!

 

[Salamantis]

I don't get the picture... D:



ITS NARUTO!!

OOH! Thanks EarthBound!

LOL I can imagine the fun you had with him!

 

[EarthBound]

I don't get the picture... D:



ITS NARUTO!!

OOH! Thanks EarthBound!

LOL I can imagine the fun you had with him!

LOL np

I was looking around the kid to find out whats so funny.Then i spotted what he was wearing XD

 

[.:Jacke:.]

OOH! Thanks EarthBound!

LOL I can imagine the fun you had with him!

That sounds weird...

 

[jumpman17]

Wait for Jumpman. He works at an office supplies store.( if i remember correctly

) Oh the stories

I just read your postÂ

That picture is gold!!

Yep, Staples. I start again tomorrow for about a month over Christmas break though I'm afraid.

I had a topic or two with stories, let me dig those up.

EDIT: http://gbatemp.net/index.php?showtopic=51502

 

[Jax]

"RASENGAN!!!"

I wish I was there...

 

[xcalibur]

This is actually my stoy of getting back a REALLY stupid clerk.
I was at boots and I needed to buy a massage set for my mother and I found a nice one at 39.99.
I didn't know how much it was going to cost so I just took whatever was in my mum's purse and went over there.
I took it over to the till and when I wanted to pay I found that i was 2p short.
The clerk told me there was nothing he could do so he couldn't give me it.
I got worked up about how you could find 2p anywhere but he wouldn't give.
Seeing as this was on the Streatham high road, I just could've gone next door to Argos and bought one for cheaper but I was really pissed at the clerk. What I did was, I went home, got some more money and also took all the change in the changejar.
On my way back to Boots I went past every single cornershop (I walked around my own block 4 times due to the amount of corners

) and I got as much change as I could.
By the time I got to Boots I had about 20 pounds in pennies, 2p's, 5p's etc.
There were no 1 pound coins in there AT ALL.
I got over to the clerk, got the massage set and dropped all the change on his till.

His expression at this point was priceless but I set out to cause him as much suffering as possible.
He asked me with unbelievably wide eyes how much that was but I said that I didn't know and he'd have to count it.
At this point I wasn't sure what to expect since he could've just thrown all the pennies on the floor and get me thrown out but I guess he decided against it (seeing as I was really big, even back then) and counted all the coins.
When he was almost done counting everything (and it seemed that he got that whatever I dumped on him wasn't going to equal 40 pounds) I pretended to look through my pockets and found something.

3 guesses what that was?

2 20 pound notes.

I had a smile as wide as my face would allow it and he looked like he was about to snap.
He didn't. Instead, he took my money and gave me my change with a really dumb look on his face and thats when I knew I had broken him.
Thats when I knew I had payed him back.

My mission was done.

 

[Sonicslasher]

This is actually my stoy of getting back a REALLY stupid clerk.
I was at boots and I needed to buy a massage set for my mother and I found a nice one at 39.99.
I didn't know how much it was going to cost so I just took whatever was in my mum's purse and went over there.
I took it over to the till and when I wanted to pay I found that i was 2p short.
The clerk told me there was nothing he could do so he couldn't give me it.
I got worked up about how you could find 2p anywhere but he wouldn't give.
Seeing as this was on the Streatham high road, I just could've gone next door to Argos and bought one for cheaper but I was really pissed at the clerk. What I did was, I went home, got some more money and also took all the change in the changejar.
On my way back to Boots I went past every single cornershop (I walked around my own block 4 times due to the amount of corners

) and I got as much change as I could.
By the time I got to Boots I had about 20 pounds in pennies, 2p's, 5p's etc.
There were no 1 pound coins in there AT ALL.
I got over to the clerk, got the massage set and dropped all the change on his till.

His expression at this point was priceless but I set out to cause him as much suffering as possible.
He asked me with unbelievably wide eyes how much that was but I said that I didn't know and he'd have to count it.
At this point I wasn't sure what to expect since he could've just thrown all the pennies on the floor and get me thrown out but I guess he decided against it (seeing as I was really big, even back then) and counted all the coins.
When he was almost done counting everything (and it seemed that he got that whatever I dumped on him wasn't going to equal 40 pounds) I pretended to look through my pockets and found something.

3 guesses what that was?

2 20 pound notes.

I had a smile as wide as my face would allow it and he looked like he was about to snap.
He didn't. Instead, he took my money and gave me my change with a really dumb look on his face and thats when I knew I had broken him.
Thats when I knew I had payed him back.

My mission was done.

 

[Westside]

Back when I was a computer lab technician in college I had a woman ask why her file wouldn't copy onto her zip drive.

I explained that she had a 1.2 gigabyte file and that her zip disk could only fit 1 gigabyte of data. I told her that she would need to get a bigger disk if she wanted to copy the file (this is in the days before dvd burners).

She then proceeded to scream at me that it wasn't fair for me to require her to spend money on a new disk and that it was somehow my fault it wouldn't fit. She should have enrolled in one of the schools logic courses.

WTF??? Just reading made me boil up. Did you stay calm or did you get pissed off?

 

[Harsky]

I got a temp job at Homebase (some home improvement centre) as a sales advisor for the bathrooms/kitchens/bedrooms.

Sometimes I get asked, "where do you keep the christmas lights" and I try my best to not make the HUUUUUUUUURRRRR noise as I say, "it's behind you sir".

But the worse is the customers who never believe that "42 days delivery means 42 days" and demands I get "the guy in charge" who tells the same thing and they suddenly go, "ah, that's what I thought".

Goddamn, I wish I applied for the warehouse part of the job instead of talking to the customers.

 

[OSW]

This is actually my stoy of getting back a REALLY stupid clerk.
I was at boots and I needed to buy a massage set for my mother and I found a nice one at 39.99.
I didn't know how much it was going to cost so I just took whatever was in my mum's purse and went over there.
I took it over to the till and when I wanted to pay I found that i was 2p short.
The clerk told me there was nothing he could do so he couldn't give me it.
I got worked up about how you could find 2p anywhere but he wouldn't give.
Seeing as this was on the Streatham high road, I just could've gone next door to Argos and bought one for cheaper but I was really pissed at the clerk. What I did was, I went home, got some more money and also took all the change in the changejar.
On my way back to Boots I went past every single cornershop (I walked around my own block 4 times due to the amount of corners

) and I got as much change as I could.
By the time I got to Boots I had about 20 pounds in pennies, 2p's, 5p's etc.
There were no 1 pound coins in there AT ALL.
I got over to the clerk, got the massage set and dropped all the change on his till.

His expression at this point was priceless but I set out to cause him as much suffering as possible.
He asked me with unbelievably wide eyes how much that was but I said that I didn't know and he'd have to count it.
At this point I wasn't sure what to expect since he could've just thrown all the pennies on the floor and get me thrown out but I guess he decided against it (seeing as I was really big, even back then) and counted all the coins.
When he was almost done counting everything (and it seemed that he got that whatever I dumped on him wasn't going to equal 40 pounds) I pretended to look through my pockets and found something.

3 guesses what that was?

2 20 pound notes.

I had a smile as wide as my face would allow it and he looked like he was about to snap.
He didn't. Instead, he took my money and gave me my change with a really dumb look on his face and thats when I knew I had broken him.
Thats when I knew I had payed him back.

My mission was done.

OH MAN EPIC!!!