I was able to get it to work. When I took my SD card out to put roms in for RetroArch the SD card appears to be unformatted and windows is asking me to reformat it.
Once again I fell down the martial arts rabbit hole and am plumbing the murky depths of the internet's various martial arts and fighting crafts echo chambers.
If you're not actively involved and only get up to speed every few years or so, you can see the tide of public opinion flapping worse than my dong while I'm skipping naked down a hallway.