Bringing a quarter to a knife fight

Discussion in 'General Off-Topic Chat' started by BORTZ, Nov 29, 2012.

Nov 29, 2012
  1. BORTZ
    OP

    Global Moderator BORTZ wtf, nintendo

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    A pretty close friend of mine is a student of the martial arts. Hes lean and terrifying. Sometimes he pretends practices on me when we are standing around. He was out on detail for the gas company he works for this week. I woke up to find this in my news feed.

    Its a long story so settle in.

    Cause PlazzmaDragy is lazy lol
    Tl;dr: trained martial arts friend finds a quarter, knows its special, goes to a dark gas station alone and almost gets mugged but uses the quarter to defend himself.

    PS: the only part i dont like is that he never told me if he got his Mountain Dew. That jerk :P
    Hes a fopping boss. Oh and ladies, he's single.
     


  2. Sicklyboy

    Global Moderator Sicklyboy Resident Mechanical Keyboard Addict

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    Bortz. I don't have time to read this right now. :/
     
  3. BORTZ
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    Global Moderator BORTZ wtf, nintendo

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    How is that my problem PD007? Fine ill add a tl;dr
     
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  4. Satangel

    Member Satangel BEAST

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    Idc how long it is, I'll just save it to read later, when I have time. Prolly tomorrow, ty
     
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  5. NightsOwl

    Member NightsOwl Pays For Avatar Art (For some reason)

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    That was a neat lil' story.
     
  6. Black-Ice

    Member Black-Ice Founder of the Church of Renamon

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    While you described the fight, I imagined you as Sherlock Holmes describing what will happen.
    I did love that film and game of shadows.
    10/10
    Black-Ice would read again
     
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  7. emigre

    Member emigre Has complex motives

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    That would make a great Mountain Dew advert. You should totally pitch this to them.
     
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  8. Zarcon

    Former Staff Zarcon .:~Enigmatic Wanderer~:.

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    I feel like I just got Bell Air'd.
     
  9. Devin

    Member Devin "Local Hardware Wizard"

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    I was expecting a little more badass story. Like he noticed the guy running towards him, got in a throwing stance, and threw the quarter at him. Knocked him unconscious, wrote a little note to attach to the assailant for the police, called the police, got into his car. Stuck his hand out the window, and caught the quarter. Drove home drinking some Halo 4 Double XP soda. Like a boss.

    BUT. That story is awesome too.
     
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  10. BORTZ
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    Global Moderator BORTZ wtf, nintendo

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    My favorite part
    "Maybe the footsteps came from someone rushing to compliment my swag attire"
     
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  11. Guild McCommunist

    Member Guild McCommunist (not on boat)

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    I'm gonna put this in Golden Threads not because it's unbelievably stupid but because it's fucking awesome.
     
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  12. BORTZ
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    Global Moderator BORTZ wtf, nintendo

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    YESSSSSSS I FINALLY WIN
     
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  13. Gahars

    Member Gahars Bakayaro Banzai

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    Sounds like the perp was... drawn and quartered.

    Seriously though, I'm a bit disappointed in you, Bortz. Your friend is quite evidently the living reincarnation of Bruce Lee and you only tell us now?
     
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  14. BORTZ
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    Global Moderator BORTZ wtf, nintendo

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    He doesnt like when when I tell people that.
     
  15. Hyro-Sama

    Member Hyro-Sama I'm from the fucking future.

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    Alan John gets snuffed again by a quarter.
     
  16. ouch123

    Member ouch123 GBAtemp Fan

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    The last statement is incorrect. The quarter was actually a save point. What he believes to be a fictional story that he created actually happened, and this reality is the reality that was reloaded at the save point, because your friend was disappointed in not finding the owner in the other reality after waiting many years. So the quarter is by fact, not by speculation, special. Quod erat demonstrandum.
     
  17. ShadowSoldier

    Member ShadowSoldier GBAtemp Guru

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    Then don't and don't post? Problem solved.
     
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  18. Devin

    Member Devin "Local Hardware Wizard"

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    Edit: Wrong person, nevermind.
     
  19. DaggerV

    Member DaggerV Archmagi of the Emerald Moon

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    Haha, this was sorta the only reason I opened this thread, this might be the second quickest I've went from excited to disappointed.
     
  20. Wizerzak

    Member Wizerzak Because I'm a potato!

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    Wait, I just read all of that and none of it was true? :/
     
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