bored to death.

[test84]

boread.
boread.
banging my head on the wall doesnt help anymore.
its not funny anymore.
nothing is interesting, no one, no thing, no situation.
nothing.
everything that ever was interesting is now a gradient of gray of impossibilities.
the brain, the brain is dead.
the moments, the moments that I waste away.
one of my friend is into 自殺 too, she doesnt respond me calls but i'm gonna discuss her some ways.
one of my friend is working at a cold cut company and I'm between choosing to donate my body parts or getting into cold cuts.
susages is cool too but its not possible since its done by another section who's boss is a stupid one.
: )

I have lost the will to live,
simply nothing more to give,
there is nothing left for me,
need the end to set me free. -Jymz

 

[test84]

every year i'm hopping to get better.
to get better.
to get better.
but its not happening.
its been a loong time nao (as u ppl write it here) and I just gave up hope.
High Hopes -Pink Floyd.
I rather die than stay and see my wishes turning into shit
being carried away everyday little by little from my ideals to normals.
yes.
i rather not be here and see it instead of watching myself turning into a normal　社会人。 (a normal office worker)

 

[test84]

I wanna go home
take off this uniform and leave the show. -Pink

 

[test84]

I just want to sleep.
without stress, without Masters entrance exam
without expectations.
I just want to sleep.
just let me sleep.
I dont want anything.
Just let me sleep.

 

[Opium]

Talk to a councillor test84. They really can help.

Life isn't sensless, pointless or painful if you don't make it like that. Try seeing it another way or do something about it. Go speak to someone.

 

[test84]

Opium, thnx for ur caring but I dont even care anymore.

 

[Opium]

Well you should.

You only get one chance at life. That's it. Enjoy it, hate it, whatever, you're only here once so do whatever you can to make the most of it. When you're an old man at 95 you'll look back and go 'fuck, dunno how i thought about things like that when I was younger'.

If you really don't care then I suggest you find something to either hate or love, because from my point of view life is about passion. So find something you ARE passionate about.

It's a beautiful life if you decide to make the most of it.

 

[test84]

my life is just taking steps toward getting away from my dreams.
I've made up my mind already, I dont want to get 30 and still wish the same wishes that I do now, dont want to get Masters and hate every bit of it, etc etc etc.