Astonishia Story Depreciation Thread

Discussion in 'The Edge of the Forum' started by BORTZ, Nov 10, 2010.

Nov 10, 2010
  1. BORTZ
    OP

    Global Moderator BORTZ wtf, nintendo

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2007
    Messages:
    10,621
    Country:
    United States
    I finally found this reposted somewhere. i remember someone telling this story or posting it here a few years back. i love it!



    ----------
    I picked this game up last week just because I'm always on the lookout for what might be a worthwhiel PSP RPG. The game didn't get good reviews... and on top of that, it's a Korean RPG, and those never turn out okay.

    Still! I'll never give up hope of finding a good one (aside from Eternia), and I really liked the visuals of the game, so I gave it a shit. My initial impressions (from extremely early in) were hesitantly okay.

    I stand by my early praise of the visuals. The backgrounds are great 2D -- really detailed, colorful, vibrant, with lots of motion and activity. Sprites are nice, and have some cool animations.

    Nevertheless, it turns out that GameSpot was very, very right, and I was very, very wrong.

    I started to get the sense of that shortly after my early impressions were posted. However, what really sent this realization crashing home was when the game's story was interrupted for the second time in order that it might present to me a second diatribe on the Evils of Game Piracy.

    Yeah, seriously. First it was just some weird character who showed up, stopped the plot, and started talking about how bad piracy was and how SONNORi was doing everything possible to fight it. I was a little bit creeped out, but I figured okay, whatever, I'll let it slide. The second time, though? It was even worse. The characters refused to exit a cave because they said there was a bug in the game (yes, they said that). Then the Warez fairy appeared. The whole thing was so obnoxious that I just started keying X over and over, and in the process, I guess I hit "yes" to a question where he asked if I liked Warez. The game proceeded to take away 70% of all my characters' HP.

    Bad enough some ****ing crappy Korean developer felt the need to include crap like this in their game, but shame on you, Ubisoft, for leaving it in. I'm seriously knocking some major points off from these guys for the horrible job they did.

    It's not just the piracy stuff, either. The whole translation is pure shit.

    Here's a couple direct quotes:

    "Do you mean Makrigan, the angel of destruction who will lead this world to destruction?"

    Yeah, as opposed to the angel of destruction what brings bunnies and flowers and sex.

    "It is certain that the Queen of Ferarin will taste the pain of the disaster she's brought in on her own."

    Sorry, but that line was funnier when Fawful said it in Superstar Saga and it involved mustard.

    "I'll immediately go back to Palmira to lead the troops to Ferarin and trample Ferarin down flat."

    I, Garland, will knock you all down!

    "We'll have to go to Midiara Town, where the Aldred Crystal is."
    "You mean the Town of Midiara?"

    Good guess!

    "Grandpa? Do you have to go?"
    "A man's got to do what a man's got to do. It could be for himself or it could be for others. And you're no exception."

    There's only one problem, guys. He was talking to his granddaughter.


    So, I'm pretty much disgusted at this point. This shit is painful. It'd be okay if the gameplay was exceptional, but it's not. It's not awful -- they basically use the Arc the Lad II combat engine here, only with a much, much worse menu interface (it has stuff arranged diagonally from a center point but doesn't allow diagonal inputs... umm, okay). Also, they use random encounters in dungeons, unlike Arc the Lad II, so that's a huge pain in the ass.

    So, in short:

    THIS IS A HORRIBLE GAME, NO ONE BUY IT.
     

Share This Page