Advice from Tempers pls

Discussion in 'General Off-Topic Chat' started by Yumi, Jun 17, 2015.

  1. Yumi
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    Yumi With Love<3

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    (I hope this post, i have bit of errors entering gbatemp. =/ )

    Anyways, its been awhile since i post or have made thread. Hope everyone is okay and well. <3

    This is about a guy who I like but i just have this issue i need help.

    Ive been going on dates every now and then, and i have been friends with this guy name Luis for a little more than 2 yrs now. Although we have been hanging out, he started to say many nice things to me. (I.e. your eyes are beautiful, youre cute, etc)
    I never thought he like me like that, but these past few months i started to like him a lot more. Hes kind, sweet, a gentleman, always asks if i want to do this or that, just super kind.
    He finally asked me 2 days ago "Hey, um, you know I think youre special and awesome, -lovely words etc-, and was thinking if you like to be more than friends."
    My reply was "I dont know, i mean, i really like you too, i think youre cool amd -nice things etc-. But im afraid that if we do become something, and things dont work out, i will lose you or our friendship will end and i dont want that to happen."
    He says "No worry, i think we would be okay but thats why communication is important in relationship, and if things seem not to go well, we can talk and continue to be friends. I dont think our friendship will end like that."
    I did say that i will think a little more, and that maybe soon we can become something more and if he would like to continue to umm..date/hangout. Of course he said yes.

    But thats my issue. I feel if we do become gf/bf and we break up, our friendship will end.

    What do you all think?

    I mean, i..i just dont know. >.<

    Any advice or help would be nice.

    Thank you for your time.
     
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  2. DinohScene

    DinohScene Dino May Fire

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    Sometimes it's better to stay friends.
    That's what I and a boy did.

    Besides, I personally think that flirting and a bit of romance is normal between two real good mates~
     
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  3. Tom Bombadildo

    Tom Bombadildo Honk!

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    I'd probably agree with Dinoh, unfortunately there's no "just friends" after a breakup, no matter how hard either of you try. It always ends up being a case of one or the other with unrequited feelings that just gets in the way.

    Of course, you could always just continue to "date" him for a bit, give it a "try" to see how much you two really enjoy each other and agree that if things don't work out after a couple weeks or something, no hard feelings.
     
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  4. sarkwalvein

    sarkwalvein Professional asshole at GBATemp

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    It looks like a complicated decision and I feel my input would be totally useless (I would say stay friends but I have a record for giving bad advice most of the time regarding relationships).
    I wish you the best luck whatever you decide anyway.

    PS: The problem if that even if you don't go into a gf/bf relationship, if your friend is not able to move on from seeing you as the special person he loves he will probably end up building some regret/resentment even if he doesn't want to... And to keep dating/meeting sure makes it difficult to move on, whatever, don't listen to me.
     
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  5. The Real Jdbye

    The Real Jdbye Always Remember 30/07/08

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    You totally friendzoned him.
    But well, it's always possible to get new friends, but you only get so many chances at true love, so if you think there's something there, then you should go for it before you lose the chance. Absolute worst case scenario, it goes badly, and you might lose contact with him, but you'll be an experience richer that you can bring with you to your next relationship, so it's not all bad.
     
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  6. Atlas_Noire

    Atlas_Noire Advanced Member

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    I never really got on a serious relationship with anyone in my life. Well I guess there was this one time when I was still a freshman in college when some girl decided to ask me out. It ended in disaster of course, when she decided to break up with me without letting me know. Anyhow tossing that aside. As a guy, the only advice I can give you is always take your time. You can't always make a concrete answer in these kind of things without even knowing of the consequences later on. Love waits for everyone, so give yourself some time so that you won't have to worry of any negative consequences later on and also to prepare you in tackling some serious responsibilities ahead in the future.
     
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  7. Yumi
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    Yumi With Love<3

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    Hmm, maybe so. I will keep in mind.

    I do enjoy his company. Its something i was thinking.

    I never thought something like this would be complicated.
    Thats something I never would want him feeling.

    I did!? But, how? Am I that blind that I didnt notice? ...I guess I was. I don't know anymore.
    I do like what you said.

    Sorry to hear that. =/
    And yes, I will consider it if i need more time. Ty
    ----


    I just feel it kind of unfair.
    When I met him for first time, he saw me reading a book that he had read before and commented. We exchanged numbers & we texted a lot there after. Started going to cafes, movies, etc
    I guess maybe Im now seeing I friendzoned him. but if so, it was not my intention.
    I just now started to like him more, and well, maybe I will give this a chance and, like Tom said, "try it out".

    Thank you everyone for your input. Much appreciated<3
     
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  8. TheGrayShow1467

    TheGrayShow1467 屈折

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    This is the case for most relationships, but not all. I once dated a girl in 3rd grade, and broke up with her(due to not knowing what to do in a relationship). To this day we are still friends. Hell, I'm waiting to see if she'd like to watch me record Corpse Party footage.
    It's possible to be "just friends", but the odds are slim.
     
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  9. Yumi
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    Yumi With Love<3

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    Relationships in 3rd grade exists? Hmm.
    I hope its possible if things dont work out.

    This reminds me of Scrubs. =p
     
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  10. TecXero

    TecXero Technovert

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    I'd say go for it, but make sure to stay open and honest with each other. I haven't had problems (most of the time) going back to being friends with previous people I've dated. I've always been blunt with people, including those I date, and I tell them I want them to be blunt with me. So any problems that might come up would be talked about before they became major problems, allowing us to address things healthily, even if it meant we'd realize we're more of friends and have a calm and mutual breakup.
     
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  11. TheGrayShow1467

    TheGrayShow1467 屈折

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    Yeah, I was kind of new to the concept of "dating" then. At the moment, I've prioritized graduating from college and moving to Japan before dating anyone (Don't want to date someone who I'd like to marry, then move off to another country without her if she didn't want to move to Japan with me, as that wouldn't be a wise idea).
     
  12. Hells Malice

    Hells Malice Are you a bully?

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    It's not impossible to stay friends if both people are mature about it. I had pretty strong feelings for a girl when we broke up, but I was able to curb them to save our friendship because i'd rather have her as a friend than feel sorry for myself and lose her as a friend as a result. I've known plenty of cases where people broke up and stayed friends, but also plenty of times where it didn't work. Your mileage may vary, but like I said it's not that difficult for two mature people to stay friends after a breakup.

    To be honest, life is too short to always play it safe. If you like the guy, I don't see any reason not to take the chance.
     
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  13. Yumi
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    Yumi With Love<3

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    So I can see why he mentioned that communication is important. I liked that he said that.
    Thank you TecXero & Hells Malice. =)
    I will keep all this in mind, and see what happens.

    We will be going out again on Saturday. I'm a bit nervous.

    Thank you everyone again.
     
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  14. TecXero

    TecXero Technovert

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    Good luck and I hope things go well.
     
  15. _Mary_

    _Mary_ Member

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    mmmmmm ... just give it a try.. ;) dont be afraid ..
     
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