Here are some funny pseudo-philosophical laws that me and some buds wrote up
The Laws of Forums
“The longer a person is an active member of an online community that recognizes the longevity and activity of their membership, the probability that said person will become a smug, pretentious prick approaches 1.”
“The length of time a forum has been active on the Internet is inversely proportional to the amount of quality of the forum.”
“If at any time a member of a forum becomes a figure of authority to the other members, such as a moderator, the probability that the member’s attitude toward the rest of the community will shift to a noticeable degree increases dramatically.”
The Laws of Internet Arguments
“If at any time on a video game forum, during a heated argument between more than two members, if a member uses the word ‘fanboy’ at any time, he or she automatically loses.”
“If at any time on an anonymous message board or similar website, during a heated argument between two anonymous users, if a user mentions the furry fandom in any accusative or defensive context, he or she automatically loses.”
“If at any time on an anonymous message board or similar website, during a heated argument between two anonymous users, if a user mentions how long they, or their opponent, have been active in the site’s community in any accusative or defensive context, he or she automatically loses.”
“In any argument involving religion, theism, theocracy or scriptural debate, if you are an atheist or secularist, you win, no matter how the argument plays out.”
“In any argument involving rights, if you are a feminist, you automatically lose.”
The Laws of Social Interaction
“If an Internet user is a female, the probability that said user will treat the entire Internet like a giant social networking website is substantially greater than if said user were male.”
“If an Internet user if an anime fanatic or otherwise obsessed with Japanese culture, the probability that other users will find him or her unbearably irritating and stupid is substantially greater than if not.”
“If an Internet user if an imageboard user and accustomed to the concept of anonymity of the Internet, the probability that said user will treat the entire Internet like a giant 4chan is increased to at least a minor degree.”
Discuss
The Laws of Forums
“The longer a person is an active member of an online community that recognizes the longevity and activity of their membership, the probability that said person will become a smug, pretentious prick approaches 1.”
“The length of time a forum has been active on the Internet is inversely proportional to the amount of quality of the forum.”
“If at any time a member of a forum becomes a figure of authority to the other members, such as a moderator, the probability that the member’s attitude toward the rest of the community will shift to a noticeable degree increases dramatically.”
The Laws of Internet Arguments
“If at any time on a video game forum, during a heated argument between more than two members, if a member uses the word ‘fanboy’ at any time, he or she automatically loses.”
“If at any time on an anonymous message board or similar website, during a heated argument between two anonymous users, if a user mentions the furry fandom in any accusative or defensive context, he or she automatically loses.”
“If at any time on an anonymous message board or similar website, during a heated argument between two anonymous users, if a user mentions how long they, or their opponent, have been active in the site’s community in any accusative or defensive context, he or she automatically loses.”
“In any argument involving religion, theism, theocracy or scriptural debate, if you are an atheist or secularist, you win, no matter how the argument plays out.”
“In any argument involving rights, if you are a feminist, you automatically lose.”
The Laws of Social Interaction
“If an Internet user is a female, the probability that said user will treat the entire Internet like a giant social networking website is substantially greater than if said user were male.”
“If an Internet user if an anime fanatic or otherwise obsessed with Japanese culture, the probability that other users will find him or her unbearably irritating and stupid is substantially greater than if not.”
“If an Internet user if an imageboard user and accustomed to the concept of anonymity of the Internet, the probability that said user will treat the entire Internet like a giant 4chan is increased to at least a minor degree.”
Discuss
Make note that none of this is meant to apply to the temp
