A time traveller's review of the Nintendo's Switch.

Discussion in 'Switch - Console, Accessories & Hardware' started by retrofan_k, Jan 14, 2017.

  1. retrofan_k

    retrofan_k GBAtemp Advanced Maniac

    May 31, 2013
    I thought this was quite funny when I pre-ordered my console and thought I'd share this here. Credit goes to the guy (Luke Melia) who wrote this on Amazon Customers Review box. Original Source:


    My name is Luke, I am a time traveller from the year 2020. In 2017 Nintendo launched their new console: the Nintendo switch… one month later, in a shock announcement, Sega announced the Dreamcast 2. The release of the “Dreamiercast” created a rift right through the gaming community, thus beginning the second Nintendo vs Sega war….

    Everyone picked a side. It was calm in the beginning, just the usual Facebook keyboard battles… “Mario is just a fat plumber who can’t run fast”…”Sonic can’t even fix a boiler”… admittedly these arguments were not the most creative…

    Sadly, things quickly escalated into violence in the streets. Over the last 3 years I’ve lost many… too many to count. I was in my underground bunker, hoping that the roof would continue to hold through the next round of bombings. I was alone… I couldn’t let anyone else see my dark secret… a secret I was too scared to reveal… I owned both consoles. I thought it was logical, that way I could play all the best games, surely I could be on both sides right?

    I wasn’t the only one. Phil owned both too, he shouted about it to everyone, claiming he’d found enlightenment. Instead of becoming the saviour he believed himself to be, he became the enemy to both sides, and they (literally) ripped him apart in the streets.

    I knew I had to do something… to find a way to save everyone. The only way was to go back in time and stop the Dreamiercast from ever launching. It was too late for the switch, Nintendo would just do something else, but it wouldn’t take much to stop Sega and convince them they should stay as software developers.

    Using components from both consoles I created a time machine. I travelled back to 2015 and went straight to Sega with a new idea- Sonic Mania. The idea was so genius that they immediately abandoned project Dreamiercast and put all their resources into Sonic Mania. The war was prevented, I saved everyone.

    Sadly, as the Dreamiercast no longer exists in your future, my time machine has ceased to exist also, meaning I have been trapped in your time ever since.

    I thought I was the only one… until now. Seeing these 70+ reviews for the Nintendo switch has made me realise that there must have been others who have also tried the console and then traveled back in time and left a review of what it was like. To you all I say- hello my brothers, I am sure you fought well. Together we will help shape a more united future.

    Anyway, I’ve gone off track from my review… the Nintendo switch was a fun console - 3/5.
    Last edited by retrofan_k, Jan 14, 2017
  2. VinsCool

    VinsCool Receditur a Veritate

    GBAtemp Patron
    VinsCool is a Patron of GBAtemp and is helping us stay independent!

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    Jan 7, 2014
    Another World
    I saw that a few days ago. It cracked me up :D
    Subtle Demise and retrofan_k like this.
  3. gamesquest1

    gamesquest1 Nabnut

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    Sep 23, 2013
    I'm waiting to hear people saying "wow Nintendo are finally releasing a successor to the wii" :rofl: (in a serious manner)
    Last edited by gamesquest1, Jan 14, 2017
  4. Veho

    Veho The man who cried "Ni".

    Former Staff
    Apr 4, 2006
    Ah, it's a response to people posting reviews of the Switch. How Amazon allows reviews of a product that isn't even out, I don't know. They're supposed to be a serious retailer.

    Let's see, underpowered, gimmicky, wacky waggly half-controllers, casual party games... Yup, it's a successor to the Wii :tpi:
    VinsCool, Mazamin and gamesquest1 like this.
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