= Status Report =
The situation - Testicle Torsion. Major surgery required.
Age : 17 -> 18.
Gender : If I really had to put my gender......
Name : Gator
Reason - Too many thoughts, unable to sleep right now.
Notes : There's a LOT of text. Take your time reading, or skip through things.
Week 1 - March 27~April 3, 2010.
Week 2 - April 4 ~ April 10, 2010.
A little while later, In between Week 2 and 4 -
Week 3 - April 11 ~ April 17, 2010.
Week 4 - April 18 ~ April 24, 2010.
In between Week 4 and Week 5.
During April -
Week 5 - April 25 ~ May 1, 2010.
Week 6 - May 2 ~ May 8, 2010.
Week 7 - May 9 ~ May 15, 2010
Week 8 - May 16 ~ May 22, 2010.
Week 9 - May 23 ~ May 29, 2010.
Aside all that, I've grown up a bit from my last post, as well as other things. I'm a bit tired now...so I'll not continue.
I should probably head to bed...hoping I'll keep my left testicle during this check up.
Comments, Suggestions, whatever, I doubt anyone would actually read all of this.
The situation - Testicle Torsion. Major surgery required.
Age : 17 -> 18.
Gender : If I really had to put my gender......
Name : Gator
(Not really, but I have been thinking of doing a name change. Which sounds better, Gator or Vector?) [For the record, my last name is Lam, my friend recommended Vector. If you're Vietnamese, or know a couple of names, you'd probably know my first name, and it's quite girly. L->T, figure it out. I have many reasons for said action, but that will be for another day.]
Reason - Too many thoughts, unable to sleep right now.
Notes : There's a LOT of text. Take your time reading, or skip through things.
Spoiler Tags are to conserve space, and to make this neat.
Mild genital talk. Even though I can leave things out, this is my experience and pain. Besides, it's only harmful to the growing, and an easy joke for the immature. Only minor details will be unincluded if I'm feeling lazy.
I also add random tidbits of info, as well as comments during the time of writing.
My friend's 'nickname' is Wolfy. There's a story to everything.
The whole death thing, I heard it from my mom, and I'm never 100% sure about her information. Excuse the inaccuracies/mistakes.
I sank a lot of time into MapleStory because they introduced Evans. I had nothing to do. I couldn't move or run or even walk much. I played well into mid-May.
Mild genital talk. Even though I can leave things out, this is my experience and pain. Besides, it's only harmful to the growing, and an easy joke for the immature. Only minor details will be unincluded if I'm feeling lazy.
I also add random tidbits of info, as well as comments during the time of writing.
My friend's 'nickname' is Wolfy. There's a story to everything.
The whole death thing, I heard it from my mom, and I'm never 100% sure about her information. Excuse the inaccuracies/mistakes.
I sank a lot of time into MapleStory because they introduced Evans. I had nothing to do. I couldn't move or run or even walk much. I played well into mid-May.
Week 1 - March 27~April 3, 2010.
The week it all began. I ended up with testicle torsion. I don't want to go into details on how it happened, as it's partially embarrassing. I had suspected it was torsion after my left testicle started swelling and hurting beyond belief.
It was before the swelling, during the pain, that I ended up going through what felt like hell. I thought about sleeping it off, but I couldn't. I couldn't even cry, the tears wouldn't flow.
It was hours later that I was able to muster up the energy to sit at my computer and do some research. I had talked to two people, one buddy, and one best friend. I thought about waiting because of what the buddy said, instead of mentioning things right away as was the idea at the time when consulting my friend.. I should have spoken up sooner, it was my regret. During that week I was semi-constipated, and 5 days after swelling (or 5 days of swelling) I decided to tell my mom, but only because we were low on Advil, which eased my pain. (Advil saved my life.)
It was the day after that we went to the doctors. Excruciating pain with excruciating waiting. (Plus, I was fingered..it's kind of like knowing a bit of rape, but with lube, which makes it easier on the..person. For the immature - read up on prostates. It's linked to urinary issues.)
At the doctors, we were sent all over the place waiting.
I think a urologist..(I'm a bit dumb, so excuse my inaccuracy), we went there, he said stuff about possibly removing my left testicle.
He scheduled surgery for Tuesday, April 6, but on Saturday, I had to wake up early..ended up getting urine/blood tests/the norm. I pretty much had to go through Friday~Tuesday with some pills, and pain. But, you'd be surprised. Week 2.
And apparently, if I just lived with it, I would have died. My mom also scared me with cancer. The thoughts of despair filled me. At one of the health clinics. (We went to three places.)
My parents didn't exactly treat me right (it's more like they pitied and spoiled me) and everyone kept asking why I didn't tell anyone sooner (Docs 'n Parents), which is kind of why I didn't tell anyone. Aside all that..I hadn't gotten good sleep that day, and didn't get food until we got home. Food - A pizza from pizza hut.
It was before the swelling, during the pain, that I ended up going through what felt like hell. I thought about sleeping it off, but I couldn't. I couldn't even cry, the tears wouldn't flow.
It was hours later that I was able to muster up the energy to sit at my computer and do some research. I had talked to two people, one buddy, and one best friend. I thought about waiting because of what the buddy said, instead of mentioning things right away as was the idea at the time when consulting my friend.. I should have spoken up sooner, it was my regret. During that week I was semi-constipated, and 5 days after swelling (or 5 days of swelling) I decided to tell my mom, but only because we were low on Advil, which eased my pain. (Advil saved my life.)
It was the day after that we went to the doctors. Excruciating pain with excruciating waiting. (Plus, I was fingered..it's kind of like knowing a bit of rape, but with lube, which makes it easier on the..person. For the immature - read up on prostates. It's linked to urinary issues.)
At the doctors, we were sent all over the place waiting.
I think a urologist..(I'm a bit dumb, so excuse my inaccuracy), we went there, he said stuff about possibly removing my left testicle.
He scheduled surgery for Tuesday, April 6, but on Saturday, I had to wake up early..ended up getting urine/blood tests/the norm. I pretty much had to go through Friday~Tuesday with some pills, and pain. But, you'd be surprised. Week 2.
And apparently, if I just lived with it, I would have died. My mom also scared me with cancer. The thoughts of despair filled me. At one of the health clinics. (We went to three places.)
My parents didn't exactly treat me right (it's more like they pitied and spoiled me) and everyone kept asking why I didn't tell anyone sooner (Docs 'n Parents), which is kind of why I didn't tell anyone. Aside all that..I hadn't gotten good sleep that day, and didn't get food until we got home. Food - A pizza from pizza hut.
Week 2 - April 4 ~ April 10, 2010.
The week of surgery. Day of Surgery - April 6. The results? Both testicles appear to be still attached. What was surgery like? It was very painful. I had to get to the hospital by 7, but I left the house by 6. It was like today, I wasn't able to sleep properly. I was full of fear. When we arrived at the hospital, we were in the lobby for a while. A very long wait.
Then, they were ready, they called, I entered...I changed into a gown, had my weight and height measured, and had my stuff put in a bag. The order is, measurements -> gown -> bag. Then..the surgery began. I woke up. I was told to keep breathing deep/hard, and to move my legs in a circular motion to get some blood flow going.(which I didn't do much, I was too drowsy). They let my parents visit for some time, however it took forever for the doctors to find them. I looked at them and they held my hand. I felt much better/slightly happier. More at ease.
Then they moved me to another area/a place for day patients. It was then that I was annoyed/slightly stressed. It took my parents about 2 hours (or so), so I was just laying there all alone, with the exception of a few nurses and other patients in the room. I was slightly still filled with fear, wondering what would happen next. The nurses were nice. Helped a bit, made me more comfortable. I was told not to shower for 2 or so days, and I couldn't take off the padding/dressing. I had the option to use an ice pack for 15 minutes if things didn't feel good.
After getting home, I went straight to my computer to fill in my friend, because I wasn't sleepy and didn't want to lay down, and well, I wanted some comfort from him. This...was the beginning of the tough times.
I also had trouble with my penis and the dressing. It was because of the way the dressing was, and how my left testicle was. Basically when I needed to urinate, I had to..pinch it out of the dressing. Then came a minor problem of 'leftover' urine, which was a bit of an issue with the dressing.
(I won't be egotistical and say it's big, and I take pride in calling it my 'little' stub. It's because of that that I had to pinch it out, kind of a duh. A grow-er, not a show-er.)
The reason it was troubling was...I couldn't take a dump. I couldn't do a lot of things.
3 days later - I decided to shower and remove the dressing. Getting the dressing off was very hard. Because of the above reason, I -had- to take off the dressing, I didn't want to get an infection because of some simple bacteria. I saw my scrotum. I didn't know how to react. It was a bit 'bloody', as well as the line on my scrotum being a giant scab. (I will also note that, as of now, things are more normal looking, but the line isn't..as aligned as it used to be. It's a bit slanted, lol.)
Plus, I could finally let things out... on the toilet. I'd usually have to clean the floor (or throw a pile of toilet paper on it and wipe things away), my stub couldn't really do anything...because applying pressure to my scrotum would be very dumb...and very painful. I'll leave it at, I had no accuracy or control whatsoever. I'll just say, I'm a large person and occupy most of the seating with some objects. Half of the time, it's diarrhea, half of the time, it's the usual.
Then, they were ready, they called, I entered...I changed into a gown, had my weight and height measured, and had my stuff put in a bag. The order is, measurements -> gown -> bag. Then..the surgery began. I woke up. I was told to keep breathing deep/hard, and to move my legs in a circular motion to get some blood flow going.(which I didn't do much, I was too drowsy). They let my parents visit for some time, however it took forever for the doctors to find them. I looked at them and they held my hand. I felt much better/slightly happier. More at ease.
Then they moved me to another area/a place for day patients. It was then that I was annoyed/slightly stressed. It took my parents about 2 hours (or so), so I was just laying there all alone, with the exception of a few nurses and other patients in the room. I was slightly still filled with fear, wondering what would happen next. The nurses were nice. Helped a bit, made me more comfortable. I was told not to shower for 2 or so days, and I couldn't take off the padding/dressing. I had the option to use an ice pack for 15 minutes if things didn't feel good.
After getting home, I went straight to my computer to fill in my friend, because I wasn't sleepy and didn't want to lay down, and well, I wanted some comfort from him. This...was the beginning of the tough times.
I also had trouble with my penis and the dressing. It was because of the way the dressing was, and how my left testicle was. Basically when I needed to urinate, I had to..pinch it out of the dressing. Then came a minor problem of 'leftover' urine, which was a bit of an issue with the dressing.
(I won't be egotistical and say it's big, and I take pride in calling it my 'little' stub. It's because of that that I had to pinch it out, kind of a duh. A grow-er, not a show-er.)
The reason it was troubling was...I couldn't take a dump. I couldn't do a lot of things.
3 days later - I decided to shower and remove the dressing. Getting the dressing off was very hard. Because of the above reason, I -had- to take off the dressing, I didn't want to get an infection because of some simple bacteria. I saw my scrotum. I didn't know how to react. It was a bit 'bloody', as well as the line on my scrotum being a giant scab. (I will also note that, as of now, things are more normal looking, but the line isn't..as aligned as it used to be. It's a bit slanted, lol.)
Plus, I could finally let things out... on the toilet. I'd usually have to clean the floor (or throw a pile of toilet paper on it and wipe things away), my stub couldn't really do anything...because applying pressure to my scrotum would be very dumb...and very painful. I'll leave it at, I had no accuracy or control whatsoever. I'll just say, I'm a large person and occupy most of the seating with some objects. Half of the time, it's diarrhea, half of the time, it's the usual.
A little while later, In between Week 2 and 4 -
I had gone to the urologist for a check up. But the next few days before and after the check up..I didn't have much support, and after the surgery, I felt very vulnerable. I even had thoughts of making up with the tard. (Summary - in his early 20's, spoiled brat who leeches off parents.) I also felt my left testicle for once. It was stiff, like it was when it was swollen. It's mostly dead. The picture of my left testicle for the check up showed that it was mostly black/dark, and that there was some red spots, so it was still active/alive, barely.. and producing hormones.
Week 3 - April 11 ~ April 17, 2010.
This week, also had something going for it. I'll be out and honest, I'm a fairly horny person. (My friend would say 'fairly' is putting it lightly.) Due to my scrotum, I could not..well..rub my stub. (I'll be blunt, "Gator likes to rub his little gator stub.", that and it was practically summer, and i learned that..well..it's kind of like my mating time, usually in heat..I feel like a naughty gator.)
One morning led to a wet dream. It felt good (very), since I couldn't do any natural releases. I did however try once, but noticed a blood spot/spotches on my scrotum's scab. Other than that, I wasn't able to rest properly, and was exhausted that week.
Plus, I returned all books and crap to the school, because I couldn't do much anymore. My mom kept pressuring me to continue and crap. It was also after the school trip in which I hit an incident. It was...she wanted to go to Stater bros. to buy some things. I had to walk through pain. It was then that when we got home, I carried 3 packs of napkins (them 8 piece rolls, or 24 toilet papers, whatever) that I ended up hitting my scrotum lightly. It hurt bad. I knew that it was bleeding, I rushed to bed, after taking a leak.
One morning led to a wet dream. It felt good (very), since I couldn't do any natural releases. I did however try once, but noticed a blood spot/spotches on my scrotum's scab. Other than that, I wasn't able to rest properly, and was exhausted that week.
Plus, I returned all books and crap to the school, because I couldn't do much anymore. My mom kept pressuring me to continue and crap. It was also after the school trip in which I hit an incident. It was...she wanted to go to Stater bros. to buy some things. I had to walk through pain. It was then that when we got home, I carried 3 packs of napkins (them 8 piece rolls, or 24 toilet papers, whatever) that I ended up hitting my scrotum lightly. It hurt bad. I knew that it was bleeding, I rushed to bed, after taking a leak.
Week 4 - April 18 ~ April 24, 2010.
It was a check up. My mom said some more things, which got me worried. Otherwise, I noticed I was healing 'more', but at the same time, I had to recover from an issue that happened in week 3.
In between Week 4 and Week 5.
I felt very depressed, and even had an emo moment. I was a very depressing person for a few days. I didn't want to live. I honestly wanted to die and did not care about dying. I was a 17 year old who enjoyed life, and after a little while of being unable to move around much...I just stopped caring. Nothing felt right. I despised being a human. (Sometimes I wonder 'how much' of me is human...the past life things, alternate worlds, etc. I do not believe in those, but rather, I hope something of the sort would happen/exist.)
It was the worst time in my life in at least 3 years. I had to get over it and focus on the bright side of life. I couldn't die, because..my best friend...I couldn't just ditch Wolfy. We support eachother, in a non-gay way. He was also affected when hearing that I would've died if things went as-if/no surgery. We chat nearly every day, and on most Saturdays, he comes and visits.
It was the worst time in my life in at least 3 years. I had to get over it and focus on the bright side of life. I couldn't die, because..my best friend...I couldn't just ditch Wolfy. We support eachother, in a non-gay way. He was also affected when hearing that I would've died if things went as-if/no surgery. We chat nearly every day, and on most Saturdays, he comes and visits.
During April -
My friend started liking Shining Tears, and he helped influence me to start drawing stuff again. I drew the Green Hill Zone and tacked it to my wall. He got into drawing more things as well, ironically, we both got into drawing with Shining Tears, as he didn't do much until now. Here's what's funny though. He's good with girls/humans, and I'm better with guys/beasts. The joke is, well, the only reason I'm bi is..sexually (sex 'beast'. At least I'm not humping any legs yet.) and I have a tendency for some bestiality at some point. (I'll be blunt, I have some naughty yaoi-categoried Pokemon on Pokemon images. I won't get started on mind stuff/fantasies, those are better off in my head, or I'll be jailed like that manga collector, lol.)
I ended up drawing a fairly good improvised Summer version of Lazarus as well. A hero who inspired me to value my friends/comrades. To protect. One of the characters I want to be like. One of those that have taught me things. Though, I am also supposed to draw a summer version of everyone else, I got lazy. Volg was supposed to be next. Lust for life after wanting nothing but death. Sweet, ain't it? Friends, never underestimate friendship. NEVER.
I ended up drawing a fairly good improvised Summer version of Lazarus as well. A hero who inspired me to value my friends/comrades. To protect. One of the characters I want to be like. One of those that have taught me things. Though, I am also supposed to draw a summer version of everyone else, I got lazy. Volg was supposed to be next. Lust for life after wanting nothing but death. Sweet, ain't it? Friends, never underestimate friendship. NEVER.
Week 5 - April 25 ~ May 1, 2010.
I got over depression. It was in Week 4 and dragged into Week 5. Otherwise, I noticed I was healing up from Week 3 and 4. Things were going great. I was feeling good.
Week 6 - May 2 ~ May 8, 2010.
May 5, my birthday. My friend visited that week, and celebrated my birthday with me. I didn't get much, except he gave me $20, for two necklaces. Well, it was originally one, but the other came with a chain, while another one didn't. I didn't get it ordered until later, though. We also had pizza, from Papa John's.
Week 7 - May 9 ~ May 15, 2010
This week was a little plain, I got really lazy.
Not long before this week/In between week 5~7, I gained the ability to..well..masturbate..back, my scrotum continued to heal, my left testicle continued to seem fine.
Not long before this week/In between week 5~7, I gained the ability to..well..masturbate..back, my scrotum continued to heal, my left testicle continued to seem fine.
Week 8 - May 16 ~ May 22, 2010.
The day of the next check up was near. My scrotum looked even better than the previous weeks, and rarely bled/rarely bleeds. Not much went on this week, but Wolfy told me about some 20 minute exercise. I tried it for a few days, and started checking my weight. At the hospital, I was recorded at 192 lbs, and I checked my weight now...I was at 198.
Week 9 - May 23 ~ May 29, 2010.
The current week. I stopped doing the 20 minutes thing after my mom said another thing that worried me. I didn't want to push my luck. Considering the Uro/doc said stuff about getting rid of Lefty, and the way my scrotum looks, I really don't want to be worried anymore...so I just stopped and am continuing 'resting'. Also, it's been a few days since I last rubbed my stub. I haven't been in the mood, which kind of worries me. Although I have been..raising the flag a bit before sleeping, I usually would prefer sleep over a little rub nowadays. It's like ED, but with erections.
The check up is on the 27th, today. I'm supposed to depart at 10AM/10:30AM. It is nearing 5AM/is probably now 5AM, I will not have much sleep today. In fact, I spent an hour typing.
And the past few days, I've been re-evaluating myself.
As a useless human..a useless being itself....I can't help but think and wonder.... and constantly bug Wolfy with questions. To him, I can be quite annoying, but whenever I ask, he seems to enjoy my spam wave text barrages. I'm also useless, I'm supposed to be doing some sprites for him, as well as sprites for my own little project. I can't stay lazy, and I love working with RPGMaker2003. But with the checkup, I can't push my head either. It was not long before this week that I said to myself and to him..that I'd change..and pick up the pieces/pace...
The past few days have also been filled with the use of the internet. And by that, I mean..I want to grow stronger physically and mentally, but also I want to grow taller, and 'bigger' (basically, wider? A door is the best example I have. Yes, I want to grow into a door. lol.) But, yes.
People's growth varies. They may or may not continue growing after 18, and the farthest it goes is 25 years old. Right now I'm about 5'7, and I want to be at least 6'. It seems impossible...but if Wolfy and my own type-relevance has a role in it..he'll probably grow fast, and I might not be done until my 20's. At least, that's what I'm hoping. All I can do is hope...height..I mostly want to be bigger for sake of..well...to be more like my heroes. From what I've read, I might be able to make it to 5'10 by 20. It'd be good enough honestly. Only time will tell.
Also if all things go well after the check up, I'll be able to get back on track with exercises. If my body is growing slowly/bones aren't done, then the least I can do is maximize the potential by getting more into shape. That and ever since the 198lbs measurement, I've become 199, then 200, then back down to 199, in a few days >>, weird, oh well. My goal is..to be..in the 300's, but at the same time, not being a fat blob. That's one additional reason why I want some height. Power's my type..it's the only way I can do things, as a slow person. Wolfy on the other hand, is speed, through n' through.
In the end, I'll leave it at..we're both weird people who stray from the normals. We're like characters out of an anime/RPG. Because of that..it's why I say stuff about growth, and the like. It can easily sound childish or make us sound like we have mental issues, but the truth is the truth. It's not some mental thing that we think we have, because if that were the case, then I wouldn't be here typing for a whole hour. In fact, I wouldn't even be here. We relate to our own respective 'animals', 'types', etc, and even have traits and passive skills.
Also, I wasn't able to find good enough information on height grow other than the 18~25, and one person said something about a formula of 18~23, 5'7~5'10, 6', 6'#. If anyone has information regarding this, please tell me.
The check up is on the 27th, today. I'm supposed to depart at 10AM/10:30AM. It is nearing 5AM/is probably now 5AM, I will not have much sleep today. In fact, I spent an hour typing.
And the past few days, I've been re-evaluating myself.
As a useless human..a useless being itself....I can't help but think and wonder.... and constantly bug Wolfy with questions. To him, I can be quite annoying, but whenever I ask, he seems to enjoy my spam wave text barrages. I'm also useless, I'm supposed to be doing some sprites for him, as well as sprites for my own little project. I can't stay lazy, and I love working with RPGMaker2003. But with the checkup, I can't push my head either. It was not long before this week that I said to myself and to him..that I'd change..and pick up the pieces/pace...
The past few days have also been filled with the use of the internet. And by that, I mean..I want to grow stronger physically and mentally, but also I want to grow taller, and 'bigger' (basically, wider? A door is the best example I have. Yes, I want to grow into a door. lol.) But, yes.
People's growth varies. They may or may not continue growing after 18, and the farthest it goes is 25 years old. Right now I'm about 5'7, and I want to be at least 6'. It seems impossible...but if Wolfy and my own type-relevance has a role in it..he'll probably grow fast, and I might not be done until my 20's. At least, that's what I'm hoping. All I can do is hope...height..I mostly want to be bigger for sake of..well...to be more like my heroes. From what I've read, I might be able to make it to 5'10 by 20. It'd be good enough honestly. Only time will tell.
Also if all things go well after the check up, I'll be able to get back on track with exercises. If my body is growing slowly/bones aren't done, then the least I can do is maximize the potential by getting more into shape. That and ever since the 198lbs measurement, I've become 199, then 200, then back down to 199, in a few days >>, weird, oh well. My goal is..to be..in the 300's, but at the same time, not being a fat blob. That's one additional reason why I want some height. Power's my type..it's the only way I can do things, as a slow person. Wolfy on the other hand, is speed, through n' through.
In the end, I'll leave it at..we're both weird people who stray from the normals. We're like characters out of an anime/RPG. Because of that..it's why I say stuff about growth, and the like. It can easily sound childish or make us sound like we have mental issues, but the truth is the truth. It's not some mental thing that we think we have, because if that were the case, then I wouldn't be here typing for a whole hour. In fact, I wouldn't even be here. We relate to our own respective 'animals', 'types', etc, and even have traits and passive skills.
Also, I wasn't able to find good enough information on height grow other than the 18~25, and one person said something about a formula of 18~23, 5'7~5'10, 6', 6'#. If anyone has information regarding this, please tell me.
Aside all that, I've grown up a bit from my last post, as well as other things. I'm a bit tired now...so I'll not continue.
I should probably head to bed...hoping I'll keep my left testicle during this check up.
Comments, Suggestions, whatever, I doubt anyone would actually read all of this.
