It has come to my attention that I have overstayed my welcome in this world. I have recently lost my World of Warcraft account and I more recently discovered that [M]artin has a girlfriend and I don't. This means that God hates me and if I remain living that it will only get worse. Soon, more [M]artins will be getting girlfriends, and eventually getting laid, while I remain a virgin and my heart continues to ache. I cannot take that kind of pain, so the only way to stop it is to just take my own life.
This will be my last will and testament. It has been a good life, but it's time to go. As this is the worst pain anyone has ever felt in thirteen years of living. Obviously no one could possibly have it worse than me and being alone for a few days and watching other people not be alone is horrible and so unbearable that I must die to end it all. I'm far too weak willed to get over something as trivial as a banned account and due to my inexperience at real life, I've no idea of what real pain is like. I will listen to sad alternative rock songs as I write my suicide note and slice my wrists. The view of my own blood will be satisfying in my last moments on this cruel Earth. Nobody will miss me, because nobody cares about me anyway. That's why I am alone and [M]artin has a girlfriend. I am ignorant to what other people say because I'm an idiot loser and I need therapy deeply but refuse to seek it. I'd rather dress up like someone from the middle ages and talk about how much my life sucks when in reality I don't know anything.
Now is the time to end all of that though. I leave my worldly belongings to mthrnite by his request. I leave my organs with various people. My brain goes to Costello for making me wonder waht the secret feature was. My lungs go to salamance for no reason. My stomach goes to [M]artin so he will eat more. My appendix goes to linkiboy because it will remind him how useless he is. My reproductive organs all go to modshroom so he can weep at how he never had any. My small intestine goes to RDF for lulz. My large intestine goes to Lagman for lulz. Any other organs I forgot goes to Swordmyth so he's reminded of how much I hate him. The rest of my friends may well inherit my shitty computer that is infested with trojans and spyware. They will fight over who gets to see my porn stash first. Except they won't, because it's all bondage so it goes to Orc.
Erm, what are we talking about? Oh right, I'M GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE NOW BECAUSE LIFE IS SO UNBEARABLE. I'm not aware of the repercussions, like death. I just hear it helps people escape the pain. I BELIEVE THEM BECAUSE I'M GULLIBLE AND STUPID. I'll be wearing my favorite dress and eyeliner. My nails will be painted a pretty pink color.
I will now release the bees upon myself. Tell the cops to go down the hall to the right.
im sooooooo sorry
This will be my last will and testament. It has been a good life, but it's time to go. As this is the worst pain anyone has ever felt in thirteen years of living. Obviously no one could possibly have it worse than me and being alone for a few days and watching other people not be alone is horrible and so unbearable that I must die to end it all. I'm far too weak willed to get over something as trivial as a banned account and due to my inexperience at real life, I've no idea of what real pain is like. I will listen to sad alternative rock songs as I write my suicide note and slice my wrists. The view of my own blood will be satisfying in my last moments on this cruel Earth. Nobody will miss me, because nobody cares about me anyway. That's why I am alone and [M]artin has a girlfriend. I am ignorant to what other people say because I'm an idiot loser and I need therapy deeply but refuse to seek it. I'd rather dress up like someone from the middle ages and talk about how much my life sucks when in reality I don't know anything.
Now is the time to end all of that though. I leave my worldly belongings to mthrnite by his request. I leave my organs with various people. My brain goes to Costello for making me wonder waht the secret feature was. My lungs go to salamance for no reason. My stomach goes to [M]artin so he will eat more. My appendix goes to linkiboy because it will remind him how useless he is. My reproductive organs all go to modshroom so he can weep at how he never had any. My small intestine goes to RDF for lulz. My large intestine goes to Lagman for lulz. Any other organs I forgot goes to Swordmyth so he's reminded of how much I hate him. The rest of my friends may well inherit my shitty computer that is infested with trojans and spyware. They will fight over who gets to see my porn stash first. Except they won't, because it's all bondage so it goes to Orc.
Erm, what are we talking about? Oh right, I'M GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE NOW BECAUSE LIFE IS SO UNBEARABLE. I'm not aware of the repercussions, like death. I just hear it helps people escape the pain. I BELIEVE THEM BECAUSE I'M GULLIBLE AND STUPID. I'll be wearing my favorite dress and eyeliner. My nails will be painted a pretty pink color.
I will now release the bees upon myself. Tell the cops to go down the hall to the right.
im sooooooo sorry
![[M]artin](/data/avatars/l/53/53229.jpg?1568173037){kind=avatar}
