:'(

Discussion in 'The Edge of the Forum' started by Linkiboy, Aug 31, 2007.

  1. Linkiboy
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    Linkiboy GBAtemp Testing Area

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    It has come to my attention that I have overstayed my welcome in this world. I have recently lost my World of Warcraft account and I more recently discovered that [M]artin has a girlfriend and I don't. This means that God hates me and if I remain living that it will only get worse. Soon, more [M]artins will be getting girlfriends, and eventually getting laid, while I remain a virgin and my heart continues to ache. I cannot take that kind of pain, so the only way to stop it is to just take my own life.

    This will be my last will and testament. It has been a good life, but it's time to go. As this is the worst pain anyone has ever felt in thirteen years of living. Obviously no one could possibly have it worse than me and being alone for a few days and watching other people not be alone is horrible and so unbearable that I must die to end it all. I'm far too weak willed to get over something as trivial as a banned account and due to my inexperience at real life, I've no idea of what real pain is like. I will listen to sad alternative rock songs as I write my suicide note and slice my wrists. The view of my own blood will be satisfying in my last moments on this cruel Earth. Nobody will miss me, because nobody cares about me anyway. That's why I am alone and [M]artin has a girlfriend. I am ignorant to what other people say because I'm an idiot loser and I need therapy deeply but refuse to seek it. I'd rather dress up like someone from the middle ages and talk about how much my life sucks when in reality I don't know anything.

    Now is the time to end all of that though. I leave my worldly belongings to mthrnite by his request. I leave my organs with various people. My brain goes to Costello for making me wonder waht the secret feature was. My lungs go to salamance for no reason. My stomach goes to [M]artin so he will eat more. My appendix goes to linkiboy because it will remind him how useless he is. My reproductive organs all go to modshroom so he can weep at how he never had any. My small intestine goes to RDF for lulz. My large intestine goes to Lagman for lulz. Any other organs I forgot goes to Swordmyth so he's reminded of how much I hate him. The rest of my friends may well inherit my shitty computer that is infested with trojans and spyware. They will fight over who gets to see my porn stash first. Except they won't, because it's all bondage so it goes to Orc.

    Erm, what are we talking about? Oh right, I'M GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE NOW BECAUSE LIFE IS SO UNBEARABLE. I'm not aware of the repercussions, like death. I just hear it helps people escape the pain. I BELIEVE THEM BECAUSE I'M GULLIBLE AND STUPID. I'll be wearing my favorite dress and eyeliner. My nails will be painted a pretty pink color.
    I will now release the bees upon myself. Tell the cops to go down the hall to the right.

    im sooooooo sorry [​IMG]
     


  2. lagman

    lagman I wish I was green.

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    Can I have your party hat?
     
  3. Linkiboy
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    Linkiboy GBAtemp Testing Area

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    no
     
  4. [M]artin

    [M]artin .

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    @ Linkicidal

    haha, sucker.

    [​IMG]
     
  5. GeekShadow

    GeekShadow GBAtemp Fan

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    Hey don't do suicide please, life is good, you need to spend more time out, just to meet new people...

    Same I don't have girl-friend, but If you do nothing do have one...
     
  6. Salamantis

    Salamantis GBAtemp Advanced Maniac

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    *tsk* *tsk* *tsk*

    EDIT: Can I have your left eye?
    EDIT 2: Before you changed it, I have made a copy of the original [​IMG]
     
  7. Linkiboy
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    Linkiboy GBAtemp Testing Area

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    shit, i left all the names of my friends in the paragraph, gotta change that
     
  8. mthrnite

    mthrnite So it goes.

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    Haha suckahs! I get his bitchen' stereo!

    I will now sing a pertinent song by John Prine.
    ..and I must say I imitate him perfectly.

    Woke up this morning
    Put on my slippers
    Walked in the kitchen and died
    And oh what a feeling!
    When my soul
    Went thru the ceiling
    And on up into heaven I did ride
    When I got there they did say
    John, it happened thisaway
    You slipped upon the floor
    And hit your head
    And all the angels say
    Just before you passed away
    These were the very last words
    That you said:

    Chorus:
    Please don't bury me
    Down in that cold cold ground
    No, I'd druther have "em" cut me up
    And pass me all around
    Throw my brain in a hurricane
    And the blind can have my eyes
    And the deaf can take both of my ears
    If they don't mind the size


    Give my stomach to Milwaukee
    If they run out of beer
    Put my socks in a cedar box
    Just get "em" out of here
    Venus de Milo can have my arms
    Look out! I've got your nose
    Sell my heart to the junkman
    And give my love to Rose

    Repeat Chorus

    Give my feet to the footloose
    Careless, fancy free
    Give my knees to the needy
    Don't pull that stuff on me
    Hand me down my walking cane
    It's a sin to tell a lie
    Send my mouth way down south
    And kiss my ass goodbye
     
  9. Salamantis

    Salamantis GBAtemp Advanced Maniac

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    OH SWEET! Thanks for the lungs! Now I can smoke cigarettes and then not worry about lung disease! BTW, Costello's name is Albert? rly >.>
     
  10. Linkiboy
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    Linkiboy GBAtemp Testing Area

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    Albert is like a super genius.

    Were both freshman, and he is taking Alg 2 honors, AP chem phys, and everything else honors during freshman year.
     
  11. Mewgia

    Mewgia drifter

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    O: well I'm a freshman taking Algebra II honors, but I'm not taking Chem until next year. I would have to have taken Biology online to do that, and frankly no bio labs in biology (if I were to take it online)= boooooriiiiing
     
  12. Taras

    Taras I'm Not Hating, I'm Just Sayin'

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    Boxcar #142, Santa Fe rail
    GF? I thought yuo were a homo,
     
  13. Mucuna

    Mucuna GBAtemp Fan

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    are you all emos?
     
  14. Linkiboy
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    Linkiboy GBAtemp Testing Area

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    >___>

    no u
     
  15. pkprostudio

    pkprostudio No

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    Can I have your account?
     
  16. AWESOME_noob

    AWESOME_noob GBAtemp Regular

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    My thoughts EXACTLY [​IMG]
     
  17. Linkiboy
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    Linkiboy GBAtemp Testing Area

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    I AM NOT A HOMO U FAGS
     
  18. Salamantis

    Salamantis GBAtemp Advanced Maniac

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  19. [M]artin

    [M]artin .

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    [​IMG]
     
  20. Linkiboy
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    Linkiboy GBAtemp Testing Area

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    sattafu