3DS images “pop” student’s Eyeball

Discussion in 'User Submitted News' started by Tempbot, Apr 1, 2011.

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Apr 1, 2011
  1. Tempbot
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    Contributor Tempbot Tunnel Snakes rule

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    3DS images “pop” student’s Eyeball
    3DS health scares just got real.
    3DS health scare stories took a sinister turn today, The Daily Mail reveals. Last night at approximately 19:35 GMT, foreign exchange student Peter Karzai was admitted to RUH hospital in Bath. The 22 year old was in tears, though he was not shedding as many tears as he should have been – one of his eyes had popped.

    “I couldn’t believe it!” sobbed Karzai. “I was innocently shooting my brother in the face in Face Raiders, when suddenly my eye started to feel strange. I pointed to my eye and said ‘this doesn’t feel right’. ‘That’s because it’s your left eye’ said my brother. And then… I heard a small ‘pop’ like… like maybe a very large Rice Crispy. But not one of the ones that snaps or crackles.” Surprisingly, Karzai wasn’t immediately aware of what had happened. “I said to my brother, ‘the 3D has stopped working’. And so my brother came over to watch the screen, and he said ‘no, the 3D is still working. I think it is because you now have only one eye’.”

    Karzai is devastated. For one thing, the problems he now experiences with depth perception mean that his career is ruined (he is the #2 ranked snooker player in his native Afghanistan). The accident has also led to ridicule from many that he considered to be his friends. As he has taken to wearing an eyepatch, he has already suffered the nickname ‘Peter the Pirate’. “I understand.” sighs Karzai. “My impressive beard only adds to the effect, not to mention the fact that I carry my pet parrot David with me everywhere on my shoulder. Also, I wish that I could afford a more convincing false leg.”

    At time of writing, doctors are unable to agree on exactly what happened, or why. “73% of men have only one eye that can deal with 3D images safely, which I think explains a lot.” says resident ophthalmologist at RUH Dr Dre. “Women experience a similar problem with their legs. If they run too fast, their feet fall off.” Professor Johnny B. Goode, however, lays the blame firmly at the door of the 3DS. “How on earth can you have 3D images without special glasses?” he asks. “It’s clearly black magic, which has had an adverse effect on this poor boy.”



    Contributed by compfaqz
     
  2. compfaqz

    compfaqz Newbie

  3. Bladexdsl

    Member Bladexdsl ZOMG my posts...it's over 9000!!!

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    seriously fuck off with your april fools bs
     
  4. Another World

    Former Staff Another World Emulate the Planet!

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    please stop submitting april fools stuff to tempbot for the front page.

    -another world
     
  5. ShadowSoldier

    Member ShadowSoldier GBAtemp Guru

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    I'm all for the staff having its fun on April Fools, sure. But at least make it SOUND credible.
     
  6. Sop

    Banned Sop groovy dude lmao

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    EoF'd?
     
  7. shadowmanwkp

    Member shadowmanwkp Your roms are on another rom site

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    Deny compfaqz' access to the tempbot, this is getting highly irritating....
     
  8. tj_cool

    Supervisor tj_cool Stuff

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    In addition, please stop submitting every single thing you find as news. Only the VERY important stuff should be submitted.
     
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