11 Stupid Legal Warnings

Discussion in 'The Edge of the Forum' started by kobykaan, Jul 25, 2009.

Jul 25, 2009

11 Stupid Legal Warnings by kobykaan at 10:17 PM (1,438 Views / 0 Likes) 19 replies

  1. kobykaan
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    Member kobykaan GBAtemp Addict

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    11 Stupid Legal Warnings


    Our lawsuit-obsessed society has forced product manufacturers to cover their "you-know-whats" by writing warning labels to protect us from ourselves. Some are funny, some are absolutely ridiculous, but all are guaranteed to stand up in court.

    1. Child-size Superman and Batman costumes come with this warning label: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

    2. A clothes iron comes with this caution: "Warning: Never iron clothes on the body." Ouch!

    3. The instructions for a medical thermometer advise: "Do not use orally after using rectally."

    4. The side of a Slush Puppy cup warns: "This ice may be cold." The only thing dumber than this would be a disclaimer stating: "No puppies were harmed in the making of this product."

    5. The box of a 500-piece puzzle reads: "Some assembly required."

    6. A Power Puff Girls costume discourages: "You cannot save the world!"

    7. A box of PMS relief tablets has this advice: "Warning: Do not use if you have prostate problems."

    8. Cans of Easy Cheese contain this instruction: "For best results, remove cap."

    9. A warning label on a nighttime sleep-aid reads: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

    10. Cans of self-defense pepper spray caution: "May irritate eyes."

    11. Both boys and girls should read the label on the Harry Potter toy broom: "This broom does not actually fly."
     
  2. mucus

    Member mucus Orc Orc Orc

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    This is true, I'll make a scan and show ya.
     
  3. Veho

    Global Moderator Veho The man who cried "Ni".

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    They have to be as ridiculously detailed as possible. A woman sued Winnebago recently, after being in a traffic accident with her camper, because noone ever told her she couldn't leave the steering wheel and go to the kitchen to make herself a sandwich while driving. So that's just what she did, and that's how she got in that car accident.

    So yeah, no legal disclaimer is too retarded for some people.
     
  4. Hop2089

    Member Hop2089 Cute>Hot

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    These are designed for the many idiots in the world so they won't sue the manufacturer when they get hurt, destroy property or worse. Anyway Batman cannot fly except in the Batman Beyond arc but that's a different story and timeline.
     
  5. Law

    Member Law rip ninjacat that zarcon made me

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    Not having your hands on the steering wheel should probably be classed as dangerous driving, and I hope to god that case was thrown out of court.
     
  6. kobykaan
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    Member kobykaan GBAtemp Addict

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    lol yeah that was misinterpretation of the CRUISE CONTROL function she thought it would drive automatically on its own in CRUISE CONTROL there wasn't a warning in the manual about it or anywhere in the camper to state this!

    more warnings

    *********************************************************

    On a Sears hairdryer:
    Do not use while sleeping.

    On a bag of Doritos:
    You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

    On a bar of Dial soap:
    Directions: Use like regular soap.

    On some Swann frozen dinners:
    Serving suggestion: Defrost.

    On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
    Fits one head.

    On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
    Do not turn upside down.

    On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
    Product will be hot after heating.

    On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
    Do not drive car or operate machinery.

    On Nytol sleep aid:
    Warning: may cause drowsiness.

    On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
    For indoor or outdoor use only.

    On a Japanese food processor:
    Not to be used for the other use.

    On Sainsbury's peanuts:
    Warning: contains nuts.

    On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
    Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

    On a Swedish chainsaw:
    Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or thighs (some sites have this as genitals)


    On a Korean kitchen knife:
    Warning keep out of children

    On a helmet mounted mirror used by us cyclists:
    Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you

    On a Taiwanese shampoo:
    Use repeatedly for severe damage

    On the bottle-top of a flavoured milk drink:
    After opening, keep upright

    On a New Zealand insect spray:
    This product not tested on animals.

    On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids:
    Lie down on bed and insert poscool slowly up to the projected
    portion Like a sword-guard into anal duct. While inserting poscool
    for Approximately 5 minutes, keep quiet.

    On a blanket from taiwan:
    not to be used as protection from a tornado

    On a cardboard windshield sun shade:
    "Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place."

    On an infant's bathtub:
    Do not throw baby out with bath water.

    On a package of Fisherman's Friend throat lozenges:
    Not meant as substitute for human companionship.

    On a Magic 8 Ball:
    Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test.

    On a roll of Life Savers:
    Not for use as a flotation device.

    On a refrigerator:
    Refrigerate after opening.

    On a disposable razor:
    Do not use this product during an earthquake.

    On a handgun:
    Not recommended for use as a nutcracker.

    On pantyhose:
    Not to be used in the commission of a felony.

    On a piano:
    Harmful or fatal if swallowed.

    On a can of Fix-a-Flat:
    Not to be used for breast augmentation.

    On a Pentium chip:
    If this product exhibits errors, the manufacturer will replace it
    for a $2-shipping and a $3-handling charge, for a total of $4.97.

    On work gloves:
    For best results, do not leave at crime scene.

    On a palm sander:
    Not to be used to sand palms.

    On a calendar:
    Use of term "Sunday" for reference only.
    No meteorological warranties express or implied.

    On Odor Eaters:
    Do not eat.

    On a blender:
    Not for use as an aquarium.

    On a revolving door:
    Passenger compartments for individual use only.

    On a microscope:
    Objects are smaller and less alarming than they appear.

    On children's alphabet blocks:
    Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and
    sentences that may be deemed offensive.

    On a wet suit:
    Capacity, 1.

    In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles
    Open Other End.

    On a packet of Sunmaid raisins -
    Why Not Try Tossing Over Your Favorite Breakfast Cereal?
     
  7. Hop2089

    Member Hop2089 Cute>Hot

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    There are warnings on most vehicles about cruise control in the owners manual, the idiot just didn't take the time to read it.
     
  8. Vulpes Abnocto

    Former Staff Vulpes Abnocto Drinks, Knows Things

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    "Do not attempt to stop chain with hands or genitals." is present on some Husqvarna chainsaws.

    And then there's this one:

    [​IMG]
     
  9. Veho

    Global Moderator Veho The man who cried "Ni".

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    Aw come on! That can't be real!












    [​IMG]
     
  10. Vulpes Abnocto

    Former Staff Vulpes Abnocto Drinks, Knows Things

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    Veho: Yeah, I thought that too,
    until I heard of the practice of 'urethral sounding'.
     
  11. Veho

    Global Moderator Veho The man who cried "Ni".

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    Oh, I've heard of that... medical procedure [​IMG] ... before, I just didn't think there'd be an actual warning on a pack of screwdrivers advising against it.
















    ...what? It's a medical procedure too, you know.
     
  12. FAST6191

    Reporter FAST6191 Techromancer

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    Not a recent one or one I indeed greet in the same way as those above but my favourite:
    Grape juice and similar items during prohibition in the US, warnings on the side included instructions on storing so as not to ferment it.

    edit:"On pantyhose:
    Not to be used in the commission of a felony."
    Misdemeanour here I come.
     
  13. Hop2089

    Member Hop2089 Cute>Hot

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    The shampoo warning is hilarious

    Somebody make a Youtube Poop based on the Taiwanese shampoo.
     
  14. Man18

    Member Man18 GBAtemp Maniac

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    fail topic
     
  15. benjaminlibl

    Member benjaminlibl Funky Member

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    I heard some woman spilled coffee on her lap and sued McDonalds for it. And that's why they have those "Caution" warnings on the cups.

    EDIT: I googled it and it seems McDonalds was also at fault.
     
  16. Veho

    Global Moderator Veho The man who cried "Ni".

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    How so?
     
  17. kobykaan
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    Member kobykaan GBAtemp Addict

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    Sorry but could not find one on SEX toys to satisfy your needs [​IMG]
     
  18. tj_cool

    Supervisor tj_cool Stuff

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    [​IMG]

    hmmm, I'm so hungry today. Lets see what I can eat... Wow that Ipod sure looks tasty [​IMG]
     
  19. Law

    Member Law rip ninjacat that zarcon made me

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    Well obviously the coffee was too hot!

    But in all seriousness, the woman was stupid for trying to drive whilst drinking the coffee at the same time.
     
  20. Man18

    Member Man18 GBAtemp Maniac

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    DO NOT CONTRIBUTE TO FAIL TOPIC.


    Jesus christ this is on par with the topics im actually ashamed of.
     

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