Review: Just Cause 4 (PlayStation 4)
- Release Date (NA): December 4, 2018
- Release Date (EU): December 4, 2018
- Publisher: Square Enix
- Developer: Avalanche Studios
- Genres: Action, Open World
- ESRB Rating: Mature
- PEGI Rating: Eighteen years and older
- Also For: Computer, Xbox One
Single playerLocal MultiplayerOnline MultiplayerCo-operative
Jump into the comfortable dad-shoes of Rico Rodriguez as you grapple, parachute, and glide across a huge island full of trees (mostly), natives, and an evil army just begging for an ass-kicking. Mow down waves of endlessly spawning baddies and turn their limited ammo weapons against them as you turn the tide of battle and grow your resistance group one arbitrary section of the map at a time. Welcome to the regionally unspecific Hispanic country of Solís.
Let me ask you something: Do you like outdated character models? What about scenery in constant fluctuation due to poor billboarding optimization? "Hell yeah" I hear millions of people cry out in unison, "But what we really want is excessive motion-blur with no option to toggle it off on top of all of that". Well, my friend, the devs at Avalanche Studios hear you! In fact, they are such crowd pleasing fanatics that they went ahead and included it in the cut-scenes! Why, simply hone your gaze directly at this marvelous example of how to cater to fans of all ages and it will be easy to understand why they feel they can charge AAA prices with 3 different base game packages to choose from and not one, but THREE expansions already planned at launch:
If that doesn't have your DX Racer creaking as you lean to one side to pull your wallet out of your pocket, let me hit you with some knowledge about Rico and his amazing arm... gizmo... thing. With just a #2 screwdriver (bonus running gag throughout the game) he can add all KINDS of zany attachments to it, allowing you to hook rocket-thrusters and air-lift balloons to anything your heart desires!
- Sick of enemy tanks blasting you back to your previous checkpoint over and over? Attach some high powered thrusters to it and watch it harmlessly spin away from you like a dreidel. L'chaim!
- Looking for a love connection? Play matchmaker by tethering two love-birds together with zip-line and send them on an early honeymoon in Hell via an "airlift balloon and rocket" combo as their corpses float away in an enchanting aerial ballet. Have fun, you crazy kids!
Real Talk: With so much testosterone pumping action in one handsome Hispanic
dad hero, who would want to do anything on missions except race between computer consoles with absurdly short timers? In what world would complete three-hundred-and-60-mother-f***ing degree freedom of movement merit any type of gameplay besides rushing to press buttons before you run out of time? That's right: none. Of course, they sprinkled in a handful of exceptionally pointless "dive through the rings" or "drive the car to this location" mini-objectives for brownie points, but who wants those? You can rest your sweet head on your Purple brand pillow at night and sleep easy knowing that 90% of the very limited core game missions are all dull races against the clock, and since the time-to-complete is so close, the difficulty curve is steep enough to drive off casual players after just 3 whole missions.
Take a sip of your mostly flat, room temperature canned beverage and ponder this quandary: When was the last time you were playing a triple-A game and a totally awesome boat just popped into existence out of nowhere and landed nearby? This is just one of many crazy-cool and tOtAlLy RanDoM things you can expect while playing Just Cause 4. If the object of your desire doesn't will itself into the realms of mortal men on its own, you can always call in an airdrop for literally any usable asset in the game! Tanks, guns, boats, and much more are all at your fingertips with instant delivery thanks to the members of your resistance group and a needlessly complex menu system where you have to equip the objects to the people (for some reason?) before you can call it in.
Since everybody knows that people who play video games are just button-smashing apes, the writers decided to keep the plot simple-- Bad guy with evil army must be stopped. With nearly every plot twist boiling down to "oh, those two were related" (since that tested the highest in peer review groups), you wont need to strain your overly-burdened brain too hard between making gas tanks go boom and launching innocent bystanders off into the sunset.
If it's not clear by now, I was being facetious. By the time you conquer half of the island, you'll be so bored that the only enjoyment you'll get from this title is wandering around and messing with the locals in the handful of populated areas on the massive, empty island. Scouting out the lost relic chambers could have been interesting, but equates to no more of a challenge than "put ball in hole"-- it's glorified mini golf with grappeling hooks. Most of the popping graphics and stupid dialogue can almost be ignored because getting around as Rico is just so damn fun, but the absolutely repetitive 2 or 3 mission types and total lack of content will most likely see you putting the game down long before completion.
+ POW POW KERPOWWW
- Objective Race Missions
- Lack of Meaningful Content
- Poor Graphical Choices
out of 10
Just Cause 4 suffers from having little to no meat on its bones and a very poor graphical presentation. The complete freedom of movement is exhilarating but ultimately not enough to keep your attention for more than a couple sessions.