Review: Goat Simulator (Xbox One)

Goat Simulator: Official GBAtemp Review

Xbox One 3,290 views 3 likes 14 comments
Reviewed by Austin Trujillo, posted Apr 23, 2015
Apr 23, 2015
  • Release Date (NA): April 17, 2015
  • Release Date (EU): April 17, 2015
  • Publisher: Double Eleven
  • Developer: Double Eleven
  • Genres: Goat
  • ESRB Rating: Everyone
  • PEGI Rating: Three years and older
  • Also For: Android, Computer, Xbox 360
  • Single player
    Local Multiplayer
    Online Multiplayer
    Co-operative
Physics is boring right? You’ve got mass times acceleration equals the velocity of a goat screaming through the sky before crashing into a gas station and blowing up everything in a 10 mile radius. Actually… that doesn’t sound quite so boring after all…
Austin Trujillo

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Bleat

If you've played the game on PC, you know what to expect, but all in all, Goat Simulator is about… a goat. It’s about crashing, it’s about crazy physics, and it’s about causing as much destruction as you can in a bugged out, contained space. The game makes a point of saying that all the bugs and glitches are a feature. You’ll clip through things, you’ll ragdoll at times you don’t want to, and things will fall through the world or launch into the sky from the slightest tap. And it actually makes for some entertaining stuff!

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There are numerous items to be found lying around for your goat to mess around with, or you can automatically turn them on in an instant by enabling a mutation from the pause screen. Need to clear a jump? Enable double jump. Feel like taking to the sky? Turn on your jet-pack and pierce the heavens! (Just don’t expect to have much control over where you go…)

Everything about the gameplay is simplistic, and there is absolutely no objective. It’s just an entertainment game for you to waste minutes if not hours of your life channeling a goat.

You can headbutt everything in sight, or you can tether humans to your tongue and fling them into buildings. You can climb the tallest building with crazy trampoline physics and even take over a Deadmau5 concert! And is there any point to all of this? Absolutely not, but what else are you going to do as a goat?

Also included in the console version is the addition of 4-player co-op, which actually works well. The multiplayer is local only, but it at least allows you to take on friends in races, and other challenges, as well as just goof around in the playground that is Goat Simulator. If you don’t have a big screen though, you may be hurting to see what in the world is going on around you, as multiplayer is split screen.

 

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Bleat...

Goat Simulator may claim its various glitches are a “feature,” but that doesn't stop other aspects of the game from being incredibly irritating.

The sound quality is abysmal, as everything sounds compressed and highly repetitive. Explosions sound like throwing a wad of paper at the ground and then turning the volume of that sound up to eleven. And the music will eventually make you want to rip your hair out after it loops for the millionth time.

Graphically, it isn't impressive nor unimpressive. What do you expect? It’s a goat in the mundane human world!

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And as far as gameplay goes, it’s entirely based on your ability to use your imagination, and whether or not you feel like going for achievements. There are various smaller collectibles and mini-games that goat simulator has to offer, from finding the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles under a sewer, to throwing your controller across the room after losing your millionth try at Flappy Goat.

If achievements and collectibles don’t interest you, Goat Simulator may not be the right game for you. It has its charm of playful destruction and satire, and it’s a game that you could easily jump into to burn frustration or just have a laugh.

Now the only question left is if you think it’s worth it to spend $10 on a Goat!

 

Verdict
Pros
+ Easy to pick up and play for minutes or even hours
+ Humour and full of some crazy funny glitches
Cons
- Sound quality is awful
- Can easily become repetitive and boring
- No Online Multiplayer
6 Presentation
Goat Simulator at least knows exactly what it is. To quote the developers themselves, "Goat Simulator is a small, broken and stupid game. It was made in a couple of weeks so don’t expect a game in the size and scope of GTA with goats. In fact, you’re better off not expecting anything at all actually. To be completely honest, it would be best if you’d spend your $10 on a hula hoop, a pile of bricks, or maybe a real-life goat.”
6 Gameplay
Goat Simulator has the ability to be a short time waster, or a long struggle to perfection of its achievements. Depending on your playstyle, this can be both a good thing, or a horrible thing. It's glitchy, it's slightly mundane, but it's at least wacky enough to put a smile on your face.
5 Lasting Appeal
Once again, this depends entirely on your imagination, and if you feel like bothering to get all the achievements. You can sink a few minutes into the game every day, you can play it once and never touch it again, or you can go for broke and try to perfect the whole thing. Either way, with its repetitive nature, the game may not offer enough to keep you satisfied.
5.8
out of 10
Overall (not an average)
Goat Simulator is funny, it's incredibly stupid, it's utterly simplistic, and it may charm you, or make you look at it with disgust. It's an okay game to pick up and play, but not enough to commit to for days on end. All in all, you just have to decide. Do you want to spend your money to be a Goat?
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