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I'm not sure you understand what I'm trying to say but let me try to explain.
Even if you said my music is good, or someone else does, there is nothing giving me security when someone can always say I am fake, or not making real music, or is useless, just because I don't have a degree, or is experienced in music theory, or makes songs that fit the standard definition of "good".
There is always an audience looking to prove that you are not good enough, just the same as there is one looking to prove that you are. Specifically, I have family members that don't really understand what I am doing or why its not worthless, or how it can be worth anything if I don't go to school first, which just kinda impacts my self esteem, alongside the mainstream interpretation of what "good music" is, etc.
There is just no escape from being judged by the mainstream, even when you are not a part of it. And I know I react to it in a stupid way, I really want to change that too, but its kind of a different project that I can't really accomplish on DumbTube...
Even if you said my music is good, or someone else does, there is nothing giving me security when someone can always say I am fake, or not making real music, or is useless, just because I don't have a degree, or is experienced in music theory, or makes songs that fit the standard definition of "good".
There is always an audience looking to prove that you are not good enough, just the same as there is one looking to prove that you are. Specifically, I have family members that don't really understand what I am doing or why its not worthless, or how it can be worth anything if I don't go to school first, which just kinda impacts my self esteem, alongside the mainstream interpretation of what "good music" is, etc.
There is just no escape from being judged by the mainstream, even when you are not a part of it. And I know I react to it in a stupid way, I really want to change that too, but its kind of a different project that I can't really accomplish on DumbTube...
