Because I am apparently a masochist I continued to watch the Jurassic park films, in this case
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4881806/
To set the scene I love dinosaurs, even before the first film hit. For a long time I even wanted to be a palaeontologist but a series of awful biology teachers ruined any fondness I had for their subject. Still own a collection of the 90s dinosaur magazine aimed at kids (If big daddy google can have that as the second link for 90s dinosaur magazine I will go it here as well
http://read.ukprintarchive.com/De Agostini and Orbis Publishing/Dinosaurs - Orbis Play and Learn Collection/ ). I could name most of the (real) ones and their period/other stats in the film by sight alone.
However while I can be charitable towards the second (give or take gymnastics dinosaur fighting) the rest were meh at best.
This... just no. Looked reasonable enough I guess but the plot... I would have to expend serious time to make something that bad.
At first I thought I was going to get a basic save the dinosaurs/double cross/peril type film, and a maguffin to do it. That would have been pedestrian and inoffensive but whatever. Instead... the double cross comes and they want to auction the dinosaurs off to shady buyers. They apparently also have the tech to create new species and clone dead people (and presumably living people)... if that is not going to get you a billion before you even leave the door (and a probably a G20 country GDP before lunch) for just a go on the tech (never mind a set of plans) why go to the effort of dinosaur capture and apparently super shady auction for a tenth of that? Worse is apparently the foundation had far more than that to pay off the lawsuits (much of which would probably have gone on insurance anyway).
Except not even that made sense. If the last dinosaurs were only going for a few million (a crazy low number -- the lease cost of a Panda in a million a year and zoos seemingly pay it, dinosaur skeletons go for more still) you would surely leave the trucks (what 50K each at a stretch?) and have some on the docks the other side. You would surely also snag a whole bunch of Compsognathus (the little ones) for they were surely bump your total up and only need a small cage even if you can't fit another Brachiosaurus (the big long neck herbivores) into your one boat (though those at least do cost a few million to build, even if I am sure you could rent some or buy some soon to be decomissioned ones for a lot less).
The pseudo philosophy stuff... watered down for the first film compared to the book (which I read some years later) but utterly nonsensical here.
I think they also did some "remember this?" scenes as well but I just did not care by this point. That also stops me from picking apart how toys near a dock still look good after years (I don't know if you have ever been to a seaside town but everything rots there) but somehow a nice manual in a seemingly climate controlled bunker has green algae or whatever all over it (and if a tshirt in the previous film was worth a fortune I can only imagine how much an operations manual would be worth and some merc would presumably have snagged that one). Also the big hunter guy did moves I would not even do with a deer or fox, never mind a clearly top notch predator, and despite being geared enough to carry a sit of tiny circular vice grips has no clue how to use them despite seemingly having assembled a reasonable collection of teeth for his necklace.
Oh and convenient flow rate lava as well but eh.
