I am sort of indecisive on this one, as getting punished for your bad actions is a good thing, since it teaches the child that they shouldn't do the action again. At the same time, some children will become scared after they get spanked, especially if the parents use it as the main way of punishment.
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Should spanking your child be illegal?
- Thread starter DeadlyFoez
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Only parents and only for desired effect in the instance of a child doing something which could seriously harm it's own or another's life.
Teachers or any other authorative figure, no.
Teachers can be savage people and with nobody around to moderate what force they may apply it is far too risky to allow abuse of power.
Teachers or any other authorative figure, no.
Teachers can be savage people and with nobody around to moderate what force they may apply it is far too risky to allow abuse of power.
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@TheMCNerd2017 Well speaking for myself I don't consider myself anti-punishment but anti-spanking for child due to psychological effects it can have on them. There are many other ways such as those listed here - https://www.peacefulparent.com/the-peaceful-parenting-philosophy/
I'd have to know what you did to get spanked in the first place, and how you were spanked, before I could have an opinion about this.
And have you raised any kids to adulthood yourself yet?
Didn't see this when I posted the above. Yes, that's too much. Although I do have the same experience -- in fact there were several occasions when I had to go outside and select my own "switch." This was my great-aunt, who was born around 1910. Standard practice in her generation. If you picked a switch that was too thin, it hurt like a blade. If you picked a switch that was too thick, it hurt like a baseball bat. I learned this the hard way.
Last edited by Hanafuda,
I was spanked as kid. Im a better person because of it
I'll stand with the side of spanking is abuse. I have three adult children and the "tough love" parenting method I've seen others mention here works leaps and bounds better than a spanking will. For every situation. Regardless of the child. Regardless of what has already been tried before.
No, I don't think it should be illegal. But, as a kid, I'd prefer to get slapped or my ass kicked by my parent over being punished. Playing no video games for a week would be a lot worse than being slapped across the face a few times, lol.
It's not about being legal (and accepted) or not legal (not accepted).
It's about the reason that made you have to do it. Sometimes spanking is not educating, but making the child less self confident, some other times, a spanking makes them understand that what they've done must not be done again, but it should always be followed by the reason to it.
What I mean is that spanking a child, and telling them why in a calm and controllled way, leaves an even stronger impression on them, than spanking and yelling stupidly loud; that's something parents forget about, they have the control, not the child.
The best way to make a child understand they've done something wrong is to make them think about the consequences. Everything we do (good or bad) has consequences, that's what responsibility is about.
But anyway, I don't have kids (just yet), so it is just my humble opinion.
It's about the reason that made you have to do it. Sometimes spanking is not educating, but making the child less self confident, some other times, a spanking makes them understand that what they've done must not be done again, but it should always be followed by the reason to it.
What I mean is that spanking a child, and telling them why in a calm and controllled way, leaves an even stronger impression on them, than spanking and yelling stupidly loud; that's something parents forget about, they have the control, not the child.
The best way to make a child understand they've done something wrong is to make them think about the consequences. Everything we do (good or bad) has consequences, that's what responsibility is about.
But anyway, I don't have kids (just yet), so it is just my humble opinion.
My mother spanked me. My father could bring me to tears just by yelling at me. I don't feel like the spankings had any lasting, damaging psychological effects and it was probably the most effective form of discipline she had at her disposal when verbal attempts just weren't enough.
I would like to know how many people here that are saying that spanking a child should be illegal are also ones that agree with being pro-choice. The irony of it. You can't spank a child, but you can kill them.
Spare the rod, spoil the child.
That's my creedo. My best friend and I lived next to one another growing up and his parents practiced the alternative forms of discipline in raising him. If he broke the rules he was placed in "time out" so he could reflect on his bad behavior. Similarly they also grounded him, gave him stern reprimands or revoked his privileges and similar such strategies.
On the flip side there was our family and mom and dad's more traditional approach. They administered corporal punishment to my siblings and I to great effect. Bear in mind, this was not the only tool at their disposal. It was a healthy mixture of love, additional chores, grounding, privilege revocation and yes spanking or more accurately here down south, known as a good old fashioned whoopin.
The results? My best friend was a disrespectful brat. A truly unruly terror to behold. No respect for others, no respect for any authority figure, selfish and never shared with others. Not even me and I was his best friend.
But my siblings and I grew up with a healthy respect for our elders. We are kind, courteous and respectful of others and we respect those placed in authority. The way I raise my children is a direct reflection of my parents successful formula.
That's my creedo. My best friend and I lived next to one another growing up and his parents practiced the alternative forms of discipline in raising him. If he broke the rules he was placed in "time out" so he could reflect on his bad behavior. Similarly they also grounded him, gave him stern reprimands or revoked his privileges and similar such strategies.
On the flip side there was our family and mom and dad's more traditional approach. They administered corporal punishment to my siblings and I to great effect. Bear in mind, this was not the only tool at their disposal. It was a healthy mixture of love, additional chores, grounding, privilege revocation and yes spanking or more accurately here down south, known as a good old fashioned whoopin.
The results? My best friend was a disrespectful brat. A truly unruly terror to behold. No respect for others, no respect for any authority figure, selfish and never shared with others. Not even me and I was his best friend.
But my siblings and I grew up with a healthy respect for our elders. We are kind, courteous and respectful of others and we respect those placed in authority. The way I raise my children is a direct reflection of my parents successful formula.
Thank God here in Mexico isnt legal I mean there are a bunch of "modern" parents who thinks spanking it's awful and traumatic for a children but hey sometimes on a restaurant you can see a bunch of kids yelling and being disrespectful with another people even oldies or his own parents, the kid needs to learn about consequences of his actions obviously with a little explanation then spanking him
Kids have been getting hit/spanked/belted since time began, most have turned out fine. The reason there's so many selfish snowflakes today - is most likely because they never really had to face the consequences of their actions.
If a parent wants to smack their kid - it's up to them, as long as they are not going overboard - I'm fine with it.
When I grew up, nearly everyone I knew got belted at school at one time or other, teachers kept kids in line, not so much nowadays - that's why teachers are leaving the profession in droves - that and long hours and crap wages.
If a parent wants to smack their kid - it's up to them, as long as they are not going overboard - I'm fine with it.
When I grew up, nearly everyone I knew got belted at school at one time or other, teachers kept kids in line, not so much nowadays - that's why teachers are leaving the profession in droves - that and long hours and crap wages.
I am sure most teachers would stay, even with shit pay as long as they were respected by the students.
This thread reminds me of the conversation with my pregnant girlfriend: she wasn't so much interested in my response, as she was interested in verbal ammunition to be used against me later on. I get the same thing here: all these "SPANKING IS ABUSE!!!!" messages are pretty intimidating. Thanks a lot, gbatemp. Since there are four pages already, I guess I can now safely chose whether I want to be lumped up in the category of "human" or "despicable scum that should stay 1000 miles away from the nearest child". Hmm...which side to chose? 
Anyhow...fun rhetoric aside: "spanking" is an act that doesn't say much of the context. And that is really what makes all the difference (kind of how - between adults, obviously - BDSM differs from physical abuse). Lemme give two examples of a same situation:
WRONG: goddammit, I told ya kids to TURN DOWN THAT DARN RUCKUS!!! *immediately hits without warning*
GOOD: Tommy...what did I told you about that noise? No, don't look away. You know what I told you. You were warned. You knew the consequences. I don't like to do it either, but it seems you can't get around it. Come here. Let's get this over with.
In the ideal world, the second option wouldn't be needed either. But I think it's a bit naive to think that each and every child can be talked to that way and have them filled with regret so they won't repeat the behavior (heck...I think that if you've got a rascal on your hands, they'll probably flee before you even finished your first sentence).
The difference between the two is mainly the emotion. The first example would be from someone with little to no self control. That's the sort of behavior that can traumatize kids, as children learn to pick up these moodswing situations pretty fast.
The latter is calculated. You're supposed to be the adult in the situation. As an adult, you need the mental advantage over your child (and that's a horrible way to say it, but I don't know how to properly translate it). You need to be in control, sincere and forthcoming. And most of all: consistent(1).
I don't really follow the trends in child raising (women have that field cornered no matter how terrible they might be at it), but I'm fairly sure this all plays into their idea of 'how it should be done'. Again: if you can manage it without ever having to spank: all the merrier. And it should obviously never become a default 'go to' option. But downright banning it "because it is abuse" ? No. I don't go that way. More so: socially outlawing those that do it will cause more harm than good, if you ask me. I remember being spanked a few times as a kid. Yet I grew up fine, and have a great relation with my parents. Whenever I see these sorts of posts, I get the feeling they want me to turn against my parents for what amounts at best a handful of occasions in a furthermore flawless trajectory of parenting for them.
(1): important: if I make it sound easy, then my apologies. Keeping your cool at all times, no matter how tired, pained or emotionally shocked you are ("that was my PERSONAL COMPUTER you broke!") can be a challenge. Nonetheless: IT.MUST.BE.DONE.
Anyhow...fun rhetoric aside: "spanking" is an act that doesn't say much of the context. And that is really what makes all the difference (kind of how - between adults, obviously - BDSM differs from physical abuse). Lemme give two examples of a same situation:
WRONG: goddammit, I told ya kids to TURN DOWN THAT DARN RUCKUS!!!
*immediately hits without warning*GOOD: Tommy...what did I told you about that noise? No, don't look away. You know what I told you. You were warned. You knew the consequences. I don't like to do it either, but it seems you can't get around it. Come here. Let's get this over with.
In the ideal world, the second option wouldn't be needed either. But I think it's a bit naive to think that each and every child can be talked to that way and have them filled with regret so they won't repeat the behavior (heck...I think that if you've got a rascal on your hands, they'll probably flee before you even finished your first sentence).
The difference between the two is mainly the emotion. The first example would be from someone with little to no self control. That's the sort of behavior that can traumatize kids, as children learn to pick up these moodswing situations pretty fast.
The latter is calculated. You're supposed to be the adult in the situation. As an adult, you need the mental advantage over your child (and that's a horrible way to say it, but I don't know how to properly translate it). You need to be in control, sincere and forthcoming. And most of all: consistent(1).
I don't really follow the trends in child raising (women have that field cornered no matter how terrible they might be at it), but I'm fairly sure this all plays into their idea of 'how it should be done'. Again: if you can manage it without ever having to spank: all the merrier. And it should obviously never become a default 'go to' option. But downright banning it "because it is abuse" ? No. I don't go that way. More so: socially outlawing those that do it will cause more harm than good, if you ask me. I remember being spanked a few times as a kid. Yet I grew up fine, and have a great relation with my parents. Whenever I see these sorts of posts, I get the feeling they want me to turn against my parents for what amounts at best a handful of occasions in a furthermore flawless trajectory of parenting for them.
(1): important: if I make it sound easy, then my apologies. Keeping your cool at all times, no matter how tired, pained or emotionally shocked you are ("that was my PERSONAL COMPUTER you broke!") can be a challenge. Nonetheless: IT.MUST.BE.DONE.
Maybe i'm getting too old, but just compare the amount of how many kids are absolute shitheads now compared to 20ish years ago.
If I compare it around my own environment, the increase of kids being entitled cunts and/or annoying as shit, have skyrocketed.
And most of it is because parents can/must take an easy way out:
Kid annoying? just throw an ipad/tablet the kid's way and it'll shut up.
Kid did something bad? timeout or "talk" to the kid so it knows what it did wrong. Because when was the last time that ever worked.
There's a reason why current gen kids are assholes and entitled shits. Besides also not being used to handle any sort of situation whatsoever.
People don't have time to be proper parents anymore.
which is also why I think it works best that at least 1 of the parents stays home throughout the big part of the kid's childhood to actually take care of the kid, instead of relying on daycares and dragging your kids from one grandma to another grandma.
But it's 2019 so I can't think that way anymore because it's oppressive and sexist.
I for one am grateful that my mom decided to be a stay-at-home mom to actually take care of us, bite me.
I'm not in favor of spanking, but I sometimes wonder with some kids if they shouldn't have gotten spanked every once in a while
If I compare it around my own environment, the increase of kids being entitled cunts and/or annoying as shit, have skyrocketed.
And most of it is because parents can/must take an easy way out:
Kid annoying? just throw an ipad/tablet the kid's way and it'll shut up.
Kid did something bad? timeout or "talk" to the kid so it knows what it did wrong. Because when was the last time that ever worked.
There's a reason why current gen kids are assholes and entitled shits. Besides also not being used to handle any sort of situation whatsoever.
People don't have time to be proper parents anymore.
which is also why I think it works best that at least 1 of the parents stays home throughout the big part of the kid's childhood to actually take care of the kid, instead of relying on daycares and dragging your kids from one grandma to another grandma.
But it's 2019 so I can't think that way anymore because it's oppressive and sexist.
I for one am grateful that my mom decided to be a stay-at-home mom to actually take care of us, bite me.
I'm not in favor of spanking, but I sometimes wonder with some kids if they shouldn't have gotten spanked every once in a while
Last edited by DBlaze,
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