Should spanking your child be illegal?

the_randomizer · May 23, 2019

Maybe parents should actually learn to grow up and properly discipline their children instead of taking the coward's way out thinking that physical discipline is effective.

FAST6191 · May 23, 2019

the_randomizer said:
Maybe parents should actually learn to grow up and properly discipline their children instead of taking the coward's way out thinking that physical discipline is effective.

Is it ineffective then?

DeadlyFoez said:
I absolutely object to any school figure spanking my child, but if my child brings a knife to school and is trying to stab someone, then yes anyone please punch my kid in the face before my child hurts someone else or gets shot by a cop.

There is a difference between self defence and discipline; such a scenario would fairly easily be categorised as the former.

That said speaking to some of the teachers I had at school then they were extremely limited in what they could do -- two kids fighting and they could not physically break them up.

DeadlyFoez · May 23, 2019

the_randomizer said:
Maybe parents should actually learn to grow up and properly discipline their children instead of taking the coward's way out thinking that physical discipline is effective.

I love ya man, but I do think that statement is a little... i don't want to say 'ignorant', maybe 'unexperienced'.

With the situation of my daughter kicking and spitting on her bus driver, my daughter already had 2 therapy sessions a week, plus sessions inside school, had tried medications, even hospitalizations because she was so out of control at times. I did everything I possibly could to teach this child to act more appropriately, including having dozens of professionals involved in with her ever since she was 2. Definitely, when it came down to something that was a true safety concern, there was no 'lets work on those behaviors in therapy over the next few months and lets pump up her dosage" crap. No, that was something that needed to be addressed sternly at that moment to make sure it was not going to happen then next day and possible cause an accident. And like I said, that spanking did cure that behavior.

Was my child mad at me? Of course, she was being a little shit. Does she still love me? Damn straight because I have done so much more in her life to show her love and being a father to her that her feelings about getting spanked did not get in the way of her knowing that I unconditionally love her.

And there lies where spanking can cause emotional scaring. If the child has no relationship with the parent at all and the only time the child see the parent is when they are getting punished, well then of course the child will will have resentment. There needs to be far more of a show of love in the relationship than punishment.

I used to FEAR my dad. He worked so much that I only saw him when I misbehaved too much that my mom couldn't handle me anymore and my dad would come and whoop my ass. I do think my dad was an asshole, but for other reasons. He was perfectly justified for dishing to me what I deserved and I am glad that he did.

JaapDaniels · May 23, 2019

DeadlyFoez said:
I love ya man, but I do think that statement is a little... i don't want to say 'ignorant', maybe 'unexperienced'.

With the situation of my daughter kicking and spitting on her bus driver, my daughter already had 2 therapy sessions a week, plus sessions inside school, had tried medications, even hospitalizations because she was so out of control at times. I did everything I possibly could to teach this child to act more appropriately, including having dozens of professionals involved in with her ever since she was 2. Definitely, when it came down to something that was a true safety concern, there was no 'lets work on those behaviors in therapy over the next few months and lets pump up her dosage" crap. No, that was something that needed to be addressed sternly at that moment to make sure it was not going to happen then next day and possible cause an accident. And like I said, that spanking did cure that behavior.

Was my child mad at me? Of course, she was being a little shit. Does she still love me? Damn straight because I have done so much more in her life to show her love and being a father to her that her feelings about getting spanked did not get in the way of her knowing that I unconditionally love her.

And there lies where spanking can cause emotional scaring. If the child has no relationship with the parent at all and the only time the child see the parent is when they are getting punished, well then of course the child will will have resentment. There needs to be far more of a show of love in the relationship than punishment.

I used to FEAR my dad. He worked so much that I only saw him when I misbehaved too much that my mom couldn't handle me anymore and my dad would come and whoop my ass. I do think my dad was an asshole, but for other reasons. He was perfectly justified for dishing to me what I deserved and I am glad that he did.

when you respond to to violence with violence, how ever small it seems to you it makes her brain see it like it's the standard, you are pushing her to using more violence each time.
so in wordt you'll teach her the opposite of what you think you're doing, she'll use more and more of it.
more so, she'll grow up to be lying to you since you're not that good for her and she'll knows it.
so if you can't when talking and punishing isn't working maybe the problem isn't on her side, maybe it's your side.
i mean if she's disobedient to you or anyone it means she goit a bad example, she doesn't respect you.
respect is not given it's given, so if you don't have it, go talk and see what part of you isn't clearly working proper.
not once i've seen a kid that turned good by slapping.
that being said, not talking and showing to the full extend you disagree with certain behavior sure that's not working.
don't force her to talk, but show interest in what's moving her to be disobedient.
maybe it's because you're listening to the wrong person too much, maybe it's because someone gave her a bad vibe by doing something unexpected.
maybe she thought she should trust someone she shouldn't.
you can repair this without using your wrist.
instead of talking, start listening, listen further then when she stops, give it time...
when i was you spanking was still legal here, and i see still the harm it costs...
still people can't really talk all free about feelings of thier past...
still people can't express themselves as they feel they are...
still those are frustrated...
still they can't really trust...
you really want your daughter to be alike?

DeadlyFoez · May 23, 2019

JaapDaniels said:
when you respond to to violence with violence.....

In most cases I would say that you could possibly be right, but you don't know my daughter, and I am not about to go through and detail what her problems are, but I have been a great parent as far as seeking out services and help instead just dealing with it all by myself.

Stwert · May 23, 2019

Apparently in the UK were not allowed to do it. Which is probably a good thing. I doubt it’ll stop everyone.

While I am against serious abuse against anyone, especially children. I don’t think a little spank on the bum is the end of the world. Providing it is just a little spank and doesn’t go too far.

When I was a kid I received many, many slaps on the arse from my family. I was also hit with an army belt, shoes and many other objects that came to hand.

When I misbehaved at school I was hit across the back of my hands with a ruler. Whacked on the arse with a meter stick and once I even had a wooden duster thrown at me.

Never did me any harm and certainly taught me to behave - eventually. Or at the very least, when I needed to behave and how not to get caught

notimp · May 23, 2019

Cant be enforced.

TerraCadence · May 23, 2019

Hitting your children is always abuse, whether it's on the ass or the face. Spanking didn't make me behave better because when I was four years old I didn't understand why I was being hit. Just explain to your kid what they did wrong and ground them. All spanking did is make me sneakier with my bad behavior and eventually led to shoplifting and getting into trouble online very young.

Deleted User · May 23, 2019

It should be illegal to not spank your child.

spectral · May 23, 2019

Absolutely! If you did it to someone else(without consent obviously) it would be considered assault. A child should be entitled to the same legal protections everyone else is.

spotanjo3 · May 23, 2019

People who think parents have a right to spank their children should be take away. Spanking is abuse, period.
Not spanking at all. Spanking won't helped anyway therefore it is still abuse anyway.

Those kids should be teach and punished. That's parents responsibility to teach and discipline them correctly and if they refused to learn then punish them to teach them their lesson properly.

notimp · May 23, 2019

Question - is it normal, that if you try to give kind of an emotional resolve to a thread - people instantly jump in to rekindle an emotional "fire" under a certain topic again.

What I mean by that is - that it cant be normal, that even moderators use terms like "manipulation machine" without reflection. (https://gbatemp.net/threads/feminis...ed-by-fake-studies.528883/page-5#post-8648551)

90% of the threads in this forum only get traction, because they focus on bait.

Should children be beaten.
Which is the better parenting method.
Three threads about amok shooters within a month.
Two threads about aborton within a month.
Trump and censorship
Two threads with indoctrination in the title, again within the same month.
Fake this, Fake that in the titles

Even I've cought myself playing the same game just to get responses.

Question - would moderators be willing to look into maybe rewriting titles to remove emotionally loaded terms?

(I know - censorship, but in concept it would be an interesting experiment. Currently people are mostly shouting prefab arguments against each other - I mean, this culture could be changed.

)

cots · May 23, 2019

I was spanked as a child by my parents and by the local school district. It taught me that violence is okay and did not deter me from repeating the same behavior that got me in trouble to begin with. I also don't think it's anyone else's business if you're spanking your child or not because some the physical discipline did work on some of the other children I knew.

notimp · May 23, 2019

I'll try again.

Your opinion on if spanking should be illegal will never matter. Because its a perfect example of a law you cant enforce. If you now "temp convince" somone on the internet that spanking is good/bad. Chances are, that you wont change their behavior with a conversation - for life.

The discussion doesnt take you anywhere.

The I was/wasn't spanked and I turned out A or B stories are interesting to read - maybe. But the premise - is false. You cant outlaw corporal punishment.

You only can do so - when it goes past the threshold of a child reaching a hospital, and staff there enacting a certain roadmap. Which - btw. is already in place in law. I'd bet in every country you possibly could be coming from.

osaka35 · May 23, 2019

The science says it corrects surface behaviour sometimes, but creates a lot of cognitive issues and future problem behaviour. ultimately, it doesn't do what you think it's doing. Banning seems a bit much, but it's definitely incredibly dumb to do it knowing what we know now.

notimp · May 23, 2019

osaka35 said:
The science says it corrects surface behaviour sometimes, but creates an insane amount of problems underneath the surface. ultimately, it doesn't do what you think it's doing and will eventually result in potentially worse behaviour. Banning seems a bit much, but it's definitely incredibly dumb to do it knowing what we know now.

But I have different opinion, and the cycle continues.

Now - whos getting baited first.

edit: I should mention, that the reason why you cant ever enforce a law like this, is a concept called "privacy in peoples homes". And because spouses usually dont let each other go to jail, or pay a fine over loosing their temper - until its even pathologically speaking - far, far too late. So enforcing simply becomes impossible.

(Post privacy is just a marketing term, we arent really there..

)

gamesquest1 · May 23, 2019

honestly im always in 2 minds in this regard siding more on the side of it not being allowed, but also see how it can be applied only as a very extreme measure it could potentially save lives, i was smacked very very occasionally as a child but when i was it was for very obvious reasons such as endangering myself or someone else, perfect example was me and a friend playing a stupid game of running across the road as cars were coming when we were about 7 , me being a naive child didn't factor in the real world implications, plus there was a certain level of peer pressure and bravado with playing out with my friends, one day my dad was coming home and seen us doing it, he gave me a smacked arse and i went home crying.....meanwhile my dad got some shit off the neighbour who's son I was playing with giving all these same arguments, "smacks don't teach anyone anything, nothing a stern word wouldn't resolve or no chocolate for a week etc".....except it was only about 2 weeks later my friend and another boy decided to play the same game and he ended up being hit by a car (he didn't die, but did have a broken leg).....personally i refused to play the game even though i was being called chicken for not doing so as i knew if my dad smacked me i didn't want to be caught doing it ever again....i know now as an adult i would much prefer a sore butt for a few minutes than a broken leg or death

but again i also have a certain level of repulsion when i see parents smacking their kids over petty stuff that sure a stern word or punishments would be more than enough....truth is where i live i have seen quite a few mothers completely flipping on small children who are obviously too young to even understand what they have done, unfortunately i feel its a useful tool in the right hands but absolutely devastating in the wrong ones, smacking should never be done except in very very extreme cases imho, somewhere where you never want to see a repeat of the behaviour under any circumstances where the child is risking their own life or the lives of others....and ofc once they get to a certain age where the kid has more cognitive abilities this can be substituted for a strong conversation and usual punishments of grounding etc

Sonic Angel Knight · May 23, 2019

Should I be worried if they become a masochist if they do this?

kuwanger · May 23, 2019

DeadlyFoez said:
Some therapists now say that a grounding longer than 2 weeks becomes ineffective.

I know this is a thread jack, but your comment makes me wonder...what do therapists say about prison sentences longer than 5 years (or whatever)? Also reminds me of how tear gas is a chemical weapon illegal to be used in war, but many countries still let their police use it on citizens in riots. Makes me rather wonder how most people really come to their conclusions on what's so wrong to use against killers and invaders but you'd be perfectly happy to use on your own child.

PS - If not clear, I don't actually have an answer to the question of the poll.

AmandaRose said:
Hmm interesting read.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.th...ng-children-is-banned-are-safer-to-grow-up-in

And Japan, where corporal punishment is still very much a thing, is one of the safest countries. :/

osaka35 said:
The science says it corrects surface behaviour sometimes, but creates a lot of cognitive issues and future problem behaviour.

I'm not sure I'm a big believer in "the science" when it comes to children and behavior. Therapy, psychology, behavior studies, etc are frequently hamstrung by ethical concerns: ie, you can't ethically make people spank their children, so you're left to merely observations. So, are those that spank genetically predisposed to cognitive issues and future behavior problems, including spanking their children, or is it the spanking that's the cause? Then there's the "joke" that priests and therapists are the ones with the worst behaving children.

I'd feel a lot differently if there actually was a comprehensive regime parents lived by, evidence they lived by it, and results that were of a sufficiently large sample to draw conclusions. Ie, actual science instead of small snippets that at best give hints for further study. :/

The Real Jdbye · May 23, 2019

DeadlyFoez said:
Should it be illegal to spank your child?
View attachment 167887
I was just wondering how you guys feel about spanking a child that has seriously misbehaved. I am not about abusing a child, making them bruised or bloody or anything more intense than a spank that only causes fleeting pain.

In my area, spanking is perfectly legal, but I also know many places that spanking a child is considered abuse.

Please partake in the poll and give us the reason for your answer in the comments.

I thank you all for taking your time. Have a great day!

Spanking is abuse. It's that simple.
I'm disgusted at how many people voted no. Guys, spanking can scar a child for life. I still remember when I was spanked by my dad's wife as a kid and I still harbor some resentment for him deep down for doing nothing about it. I've gotten over it, but I'll never be able to 100% forgive him for it. And if I ever see that woman again I'm gonna punch her. Luckily she lost her kids so she got what she deserved, and she moved away so I'll probably never see her again.

Should spanking your child be illegal?

Should it be illegal to spank your child

Yes, Make spanking illegal

No, a parent should have the right to spank their child

The Temp's official fox whisperer

Techromancer

XFlak Fanboy

Well-Known Member

XFlak Fanboy

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Active Member

Deleted User

Guest

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Banned!

Well-Known Member

Instructional Designer

Well-Known Member

Nabnut

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

*is birb*

Similar threads

Popular threads in this forum

is birb