You want 10 dealbreakers? This will be interesting for me to figure out. I will throw a couple of obvious ones in there. But will limit them. I never cared about music taste in others to the degree that it would be a dealbreaker. Sure, since I am a huge music nerd I would be a bit bummed out if our music taste doesn't match, or if she'd be totally disinterested in my taste or music at all. I've had relationships where this have been the case, and that was a bummer, but yeah. It wouldn't affect anything in the end. Not when I was 15, not today. Being "too serious" might have been a dealbreaker for me when I was younger, not 15 perhaps, but like, 18-22. Talk about kids, engagement or marriage would be... not really a dealbreaker, but I wouldn't want any of it. Too soon.
There is just one that I've told my partner when we spoke about this subject, since it's the only one I find... "realistic", or should I say "common".
This will have to be my number one, even though other can be considered more serious.
1. Cheating / infidelity.
I have been hurt by this. And it really really hurts. It's the only thing that could make my feelings for someone vanish like poof, no matter who they are.
2. Hard drug use.
Of course, I wouldn't want to have a relationship with a drug addict. I mean hard drugs. Smoking is okay, but I would prefer no smoking. Alcohol is fine in my eyes though, as long as it's in moderation.
3. Murderer.
I mean, now we're coming into the obvious things... There are plenty of other obvious dealbreakers, like being a criminal and so on. So let's focus on more... "realistic" ones again.
4. Absolutely nothing in common.
Doesn't share music taste? That's fine. Doesn't like gaming? Well, not too surprising. Doesn't like the same kinds of movies (or any movie)? Okay. Reading? No? Hmm.. okay... But if there are no common interest, no activity both enjoy, nothing to do together... then it would be a problem. This is also very related to interest. If she doesn't enjoy reading, and I love reading... that's perfectly fine. But if she is interested in my hobby of reading, does she want to hear my thoughts about what I've read, or want to hear a piece read aloud? Then that's just as good as sharing the hobby. Or if our music taste doesn't match, but she is still open to try out some of it. Open to talk about it, or interested enough to hear me talk about this amazing Jazz record... then that's also a great feeling. And of course, if she want to share her stuff with me, even if it's not my cup of tea, I'll be sooo happy to listen to it. My interest in music isn't limited to listening to the things I like, but to explore and finding details and parts in all music.
5. Zero hygiene.
Okay, this would be a big dealbreaker. Being a little smelly, that's fine. Flatulence is fine too, it's just normal. And body hair? who cares? That's not what I mean with hygiene. I mean, if you don't shower for 3 weeks, brush your teeth once in a blue moon, wipe poorly... now that's kind of off putting. It's not the most impossible thing to change, but if change is too much of a challenge, then yeah. dealios breakios.
I have to take a break here. I just can't figure anything else out. Marriage? Yes, I would like that, but if the other person doesn't want it then that's also okay. Kids? Yeah, that would be neat, not to let the bloodline die with me. But if she don't want or can't have kids, if my feelings for her are strong enough it won't matter. Those would be big deals, and they don't matter to me if the feelings for the person are strong enough.
Gaining weight, becoming grey haired... No, no big deal at all.
Different politics? Who cares?
Different religion? Who cares?
I guess places 6 through 10 can be filled with: Domestic abuse, molesting, destroying properties, dealing drugs and being a terrorist.
Maybe point number 4 is the only one that might have been different when 15 (or slightly older). When hormones are flowing wildly, and all you want is to "have fun". Then it wouldn't matter if you don't have anything in common, apart from the "fun".