I think the whole milk discovery thing was like this:
Man: Hey woman whats up?
Woman: No milk is coming from my titties so baby is hungry.
Man: You got lame tits huh?
Woman: Guess so
Man: Erm theres no other frinkoptengooork (that was the word cavemen used before "lactating" was used) women around so I dunno what we could do to feed baby.
Woman: Theres those black and white blotchy things out there, their young seem to suck their teats for food.
Man: Mmmm
Man goes off, sucks the black & white blotchy things teat.
Another man: Hey what is your man doing to that bull?
Woman: Whats a bull?
Another Man: A male cow.
Woman: Oh! How can you tell them apart?
Another Man: Yeah erm big horns on head, theres no udders and it has a penis.
Woman: Whats penis?
Another Man pulls his loin clothe down and shows her.
Woman: Holy smeg! HAROLD HAROLD STOP DOING THAT! YOU GIVING A MALE COW A SPECIAL THURSDAY TREAT!!!
Man: MFLFFL????
Another Man: So erm why he doing that?
Woman: My titties are lame cos they won't give baby the white food.
Another Man: Oh right!
Woman: Yeah.
Man comes back looking quite ashamed.
Woman: You ok?
Man: Not really
Another Man: S'up? Erm them ones there are female.
Points to cow
Man: Ah ok...erm I'm kinda fragile right now so do you mind?
Another Man: Nah mate I'm frinkopten intolerant.
Man: What?
Another Man: It means it makes me super sick.
Man: How did you find that out? Getting milk from animals hasn't been realised yet?
Another Man: Yeah erm I've chucked up on my mothers none lame titties.
Man: Oh right, so what did you do for food?
Another Man: Well my Dad did what you did but erm with a horse. Thats why my Dad is dead, the horse kinda kicked him hard and its hoof went in my Dads head.
Man: Bummer...so then what?
Another Man: Well a day later my Mum was like with this other guy and she got him to find a cow that had udders and this other guy was actually not a douche and just used his hand and got some milk out into this rock bucket we used for doing number 2 in.
Man: Ah so it works then?
Another Man: Well I didn't starve to death!
Man: Cool, well I'll get the poo bucket then.
Man goes over to the supposed cow.
Man: IS THIS A COW? I SEE NO PENIS ONLY FLANGE.
Another Man: YEAH THATS A COW!
Man: Cheers.
And there you go thats how it happened. So do you feel like you lost a part of your life that you'll never get back? Like most stories of the past there are some gross inconsistencies there.
Man: Hey woman whats up?
Woman: No milk is coming from my titties so baby is hungry.
Man: You got lame tits huh?
Woman: Guess so
Man: Erm theres no other frinkoptengooork (that was the word cavemen used before "lactating" was used) women around so I dunno what we could do to feed baby.
Woman: Theres those black and white blotchy things out there, their young seem to suck their teats for food.
Man: Mmmm
Man goes off, sucks the black & white blotchy things teat.
Another man: Hey what is your man doing to that bull?
Woman: Whats a bull?
Another Man: A male cow.
Woman: Oh! How can you tell them apart?
Another Man: Yeah erm big horns on head, theres no udders and it has a penis.
Woman: Whats penis?
Another Man pulls his loin clothe down and shows her.
Woman: Holy smeg! HAROLD HAROLD STOP DOING THAT! YOU GIVING A MALE COW A SPECIAL THURSDAY TREAT!!!
Man: MFLFFL????
Another Man: So erm why he doing that?
Woman: My titties are lame cos they won't give baby the white food.
Another Man: Oh right!
Woman: Yeah.
Man comes back looking quite ashamed.
Woman: You ok?
Man: Not really
Another Man: S'up? Erm them ones there are female.
Points to cow
Man: Ah ok...erm I'm kinda fragile right now so do you mind?
Another Man: Nah mate I'm frinkopten intolerant.
Man: What?
Another Man: It means it makes me super sick.
Man: How did you find that out? Getting milk from animals hasn't been realised yet?
Another Man: Yeah erm I've chucked up on my mothers none lame titties.
Man: Oh right, so what did you do for food?
Another Man: Well my Dad did what you did but erm with a horse. Thats why my Dad is dead, the horse kinda kicked him hard and its hoof went in my Dads head.
Man: Bummer...so then what?
Another Man: Well a day later my Mum was like with this other guy and she got him to find a cow that had udders and this other guy was actually not a douche and just used his hand and got some milk out into this rock bucket we used for doing number 2 in.
Man: Ah so it works then?
Another Man: Well I didn't starve to death!
Man: Cool, well I'll get the poo bucket then.
Man goes over to the supposed cow.
Man: IS THIS A COW? I SEE NO PENIS ONLY FLANGE.
Another Man: YEAH THATS A COW!
Man: Cheers.
And there you go thats how it happened. So do you feel like you lost a part of your life that you'll never get back? Like most stories of the past there are some gross inconsistencies there.
![[M]artin](/data/avatars/l/53/53229.jpg?1568173037){kind=avatar}
