I will finish whatever paragraph you give me with ai...

banjo2

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(note: why?)

she said softly as her stomach imploded on her.

Adam stood up and slowly let the blanket fall from his shoulders.

His arms came up and, in a single motion, he grabbed the cheeks of her ass and hoisted her to him.

He gave the sweetest, sexiest smile as he spun her around.

He let her legs fall as he lowered himself to his knees.

A fresh wave of lust ripped through her at the sight of him.

"Take off your panties, Jenn."

he whispered in her ear.

Jenn licked her lips and glanced down at the bulge in his pants.

She wanted nothing more than to thrust herself back against him and grind her sexy, wet pussy on his hardness.

Instead, she nodded and reached for the bottom of her top.

She let it fall off her arms as she wriggled out of her panties and stepped out of them.

She let the top fall to the floor and her breasts popped free.

She stepped out of them and reached for his belt.

"Don't."

she whispered.

She dropped to her knees and pulled the belt off him.

He ran his hands through her hair, ruffling the curls and smiled.

Jenn lay on her back on the mattress and let her fingers wander across her naked skin.

She was so happy and content that nothing else mattered.

The only thing that mattered was the man lying behind her.

"Do you trust me?" she whispered.

Jenn nodded as she lowered her hands to his pants.

His cock sprang up at her touch.

She caressed him from base to tip and he growled, not quite a groan, but close.

He leaned forward and she opened her mouth.

She took the head inside her mouth, running her tongue over the delicate skin.

He was rock hard and she loved sucking on him.

She bobbed her head up and down his shaft, letting her mouth cover as much of his cock as she could.

His hand caressed her head as he thrust himself deeper.

She moaned around his cock as his hand came to rest on her head.

Jenn removed her mouth and let his cock spring free.

"Good girl."

he whispered and his hand came down to rest on her hair.

He began to massage her scalp as he groaned in pleasure.

He was close and his breathing was becoming ragged.

Jenn closed her eyes and let her mind drift.

Her body relaxed and her fingertips began to draw circles around his cock.

"Lift up."

he whispered.

She lifted her ass off the mattress and he slipped a finger between her folds.

"Mmmm... yes."

she breathed as he pressed a finger inside her.

He slowly pressed a second finger inside her.

Jenn began to thrash on the bed, trying to get a little more stimulation.

Her thighs began to clench and her hips thrust back towards him.

He groaned and increased his tempo, sliding his fingers in and out of her with increasing speed.

"Oh yes."

she moaned, her breathing becoming even more ragged as he began to pump in and out of her with both fingers.

She saw him as he lowered his face to her ass.

His tongue lashed her asshole, lashing it with his teeth.

Jenn let out a cry of pain as she lost all control over her body and her muscles spasmed.

He tightened his grip on her hair as he lapped her juice off his fingers.

Jenn began to come down from her orgasmic high as she felt him get off the bed.

She sat up and watched him as he walked towards the bathroom.

When he came out, she saw that he was wearing a t - shirt and she smiled.

He knelt down next to her and rubbed her body with his hands.

He leaned in and kissed her again and she moaned into his mouth.
this isn't what i wanted
 

Vila_

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I will finish whatever paragraph you give me with ai...

Q: What did Wozniak mean when he said: "I don't think the computers are nearly as intelligent as we are"? (January 30, 1979, Maximum Computing)

A: Woz: "An Artificial Intelligence that is as good as or better than a human being could do everything better than humans in the areas of communication and logic and all the other things. This is why I don't think that the computers will ever be any good in the areas of administration or office work, that type of work that you would use a computer for. There will always be people who will be impressed with the mere fact that you can give a computer those kind of jobs. I think the computers will make great accomplices to people who are good at keeping things organized, managing information." Q: "But they can't understand the trivial things in life? For example, how do I get a calendar? How do I get all the appointments for the month? How do I make notes on the memos I get?"

A: Woz: "The programmers have that under control. To a certain extent, in fact the answer to that is yes. They can do things where people will say, "Oh, well, that's a great idea," but if you're talking about a computer that could do all that stuff, I don't think the computers are going to be able to do that, to be sure, not anytime soon."

[If you're wondering why a computer can't take advantage of a person's rudimentary and natural language skills to do mundane errands like calendaring, or manage memos, you might ask yourself why the computer didn't just start doing calendaring and memo-taking years ago, rather than waiting for its B.S. about human nature to slowly reveal itself on, say, Microsoft Word. This sort of thing, I'm afraid, is at the heart of the "The robots will never equal the man" argument. Computers are incredibly dumb. And the reason the computers are stupid is because they are trying to replicate what only humans do.]

Q: "There is, however, an argument that a man-machine symbiosis could be potentially lucrative. The practical working time of a machine would be at least five times as high as a man and any of these tasks could be completed by a man in half the time. How would such a relationship be managed?"

A: Woz: "Well, you could at least begin by having the machine do some of the higher level aspects of the work, say calendaring. That would let the person doing the calendaring think of other things while the machine handles the lower level aspects of calendaring, so that the whole operation would only be made ten-fold as efficient by the use of the machines than by the use of a person." Q: "Do you think that in the future computers will be made to look, act and speak like humans?"

A: Woz: "Oh yes, oh yes. In fact, I think that it is the next big thing."

[Q: "Could it be possible to know as much about an object in the future as the person possessing the object knows today?"

A: Woz: "It is possible that it might be possible to have machines that could even have personalities, but that's much more in the future than it is here in the early eighties."]

Q: "Could a computer system be used as a substitute for humans in dangerous or emotionally-charged situations?"

A: Woz: "I don't see how a computer could possibly handle emotions at all. I think emotions in the future will be very much like emotions are in the present. In the present, you have a brother who will tell you, 'I am so-and-so.' And you say, 'Okay, I know you're 'so-and-so.'"

Q: "This leads me to ask you: You think that the computer will ever be able to look a human in the eye?"

A: Woz: "There are a lot of people who think it might be possible to make a machine look human, but I don't think that's going to happen. I think that people would want to play along with that, because if a machine looked human, people would see it as human and be more willing to interact with it. So I don't think that's going to happen in the next hundred years or two hundred years." Q: "Do you think that a machine will ever be able to have a sense of

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------

this isn't what i wanted
you get what you ask for, I have no control over the ai...
 

Vila_

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May I throw in something from a script I've been working on??? I'm really curious about the result we'd get when using a rather long paragraph... and I would just love to see how your A.I chooses to continue from that point onward, compared to how I did it...


"Life, for me, is just like that awful first scene from “Saving Private Ryan”, you know, with the Omaha beach landing. You never know what’s gonna happen, you never know what to expect, you’re just thrown right in the middle of the action… you end up losing things, but you just continue hang in there, and try to hold on to what you’ve got. “

Says David at the dining table, exhaultingly, as he goes for that last french frie that’s been sitting on Greg’s dish for quite a while now, and dips it into the table ketchup. That french fry was just torturing him… sitting there LOOKING at him… And he can’t help but wonder somewhere in the background of his conscious thoughts… “What’s gonna happen now… is he gonna eat it… is he full… is the waiter gonna come in any second now, and take the plate away because it DOES look like we’re through… I’m gonna go for it before it gets cold…
(note: I didn't train the ai or build it, I'm just running it on my pc, you can find all the information here. It was built by the wonderful people over at OpenAI, GPT-2 isn't even the latest version, they released GPT-3 which is way more powerful, so powerful in fact that they are worried about it, you can find more info here. GPT-3 is still in beta, I did sign up, I'm hoping to get access soon, in the meantime I have to conform with GPT-2)


"Life, for me, is just like that awful first scene from “Saving Private Ryan”, you know, with the Omaha beach landing. You never know what’s gonna happen, you never know what to expect, you’re just thrown right in the middle of the action… you end up losing things, but you just continue hang in there, and try to hold on to what you’ve got. “

Says David at the dining table, exhaultingly, as he goes for that last french frie that’s been sitting on Greg’s dish for quite a while now, and dips it into the table ketchup. That french fry was just torturing him… sitting there LOOKING at him… And he can’t help but wonder somewhere in the background of his conscious thoughts… “What’s gonna happen now… is he gonna eat it… is he full… is the waiter gonna come in any second now, and take the plate away because it DOES look like we’re through… I’m gonna go for it before it gets cold…


…and then he’s horrified to see that the waiter has actually arrived, took the plate away, and Greg’s still eating, wondering why the fuck he was ever worried in the first place. David sits there, sadly, head in hands. His man just couldn’t hold on. He is in desperate need of a two-handed hug. “Wow,” thinks Greg, “I never thought he was gonna do it…”

“Goddammit,” says David, sitting up straight at the table, shoveling the remaining food into his mouth, shoveling it in as though he’s madly attempting to eat the last one million dollar bill that he’s been holding in his left hand for the past ten minutes. “I just don’t understand. How did I let this happen? I swear to fucking god, I’m the last fucking thing standing. How the fuck am I gonna get through this? How? Why?”

Suddenly, the waiter returns with a plate of spaghettios and salad.

“OK,” says Greg, winking at David over his shoulder, “it looks like that’s all of it. But if you need anything else… I guess I can tell ‘ya where I work.” He gives David a wink, then turns around to place the huge load of pasta down on the table, and then swoops back, grinning mischievously as he says “so I hear you’re interested in joining my little team here. This job just keeps getting more interesting…”

“…hell yeah, I’m interested!” says David, and, catching himself from grabbing the waiter by the neck and squeezing it until it makes a “pop” sound, takes a deep breath. “Wait, no!” he says. “I mean, yes, yes, but no.”

“Ha!” exclaims Greg. “You are totally into this!” He turns back to face David, says “You don’t even have to tell me what you’re looking for. That’s a deal breaker right there, you can’t even turn me down.” He winks again, adds, “I love it when a man needs a little encouragement.”

The waiter lays down the remaining plate, takes the bill, the change, and nods to Greg, saying “Alright, everyone’s taken care of. Take care.” The waiter nods, and walks away, smiling. “Fuck, I’m going to miss him.” exclaims David, “I mean, I knew that he wasn’t gonna last. Not after that time I told him to stop trying to steal my bar of Peanut Butter Fudge Butterfinger bars and take his own advice instead. He used to sneak up and steal all of my favorite one-hundred-dollar pieces, and not only that, but he usually then shoved them in his pockets, went outside, and promptly took a dump right in front of me, and would then sit there, smiling and smoking a cigarette, watching me try to clean it up.”

“Pshhh,” says Greg, shaking his head. “You’re such a fucking asshole. That guy couldn’t give two shits about stealing from me. Not when there’s ten-thousand dollars in there. What the fuck is wrong with you? And why do you keep calling that asshole back… don’t you have better things to do in your life? Get out of here. Don’t come back.”

And with that, Greg stands up, fakes a vomit noise and throws his tray and utensils down in disgust. The rest of the patrons laugh and giggle, as David watches, eyes watering from the humiliation, he walks back to his apartment, slams the door, and tears a strip off of the cushioning inside. “Fuuuuuuuuuuuck,” he mutters, wiping his eyes on the inside of his shirt, tears now streaming down his face.

Then he reopens the door, pulls out a package of laxatives from his sock drawer, takes a handful, and spits them into the wastebasket. He looks at the urine-smeared carpet, shakes his head, and walks over to the trashcan and tries to move the chair under the counter. He feels around inside the void in the wall and feels something solid, but he isn’t able to move the chair.

He pulls out another bag, takes another handful, and spits them into the trashcan. He looks down at the towel on the floor and sees that there are three more of those smug-ass grin-face-fucking-faces on the bottom. “Fuuuuuuuuuuck.” he says again, rubbing his eyes and rubbing his face.

He shakes his head, pulls out another bag, takes another handful, and spits them into the trashcan. He looks at the towel on the floor and sees that there are three more of those smug-ass grin-face-fucking-faces on the bottom. “Fuck,” he says, and throws the trashcan across the room, yelling out in frustration.

It hits the wall, then falls on top of his roommate’s bookshelf, throwing it to the ground and rendering it entirely inoperable. He walks back to the sink, steps up onto the counter, and slides the whole unit into the sink, grinding it against the drain tube. He smiles and turns off the water, reaching behind himself to pull the plug, and leaves it in the sink, reaching around to turn off the lights and shut the door.

He jumps down off of the counter, and walks to his room. Grabbing his clothes off of the chair where he’d left them, he walks back to the bed, and grabs a wallet from his dresser. Picking up the phone, he dials. The dial tone sounds.

He hangs up, and puts the phone down. “You are not winning,” he says out loud, the anger swelling in his voice. “It’s over.”

He throws on his pants, shirt, and shoes, grabs the crumpled dollar bill, the only hundred dollar bill he has left, and goes out into the hall. He goes out the back door, shutting it behind him and walking to the edge of the sidewalk. A car driving by honks, and he ducks out of the way. “Fucking bastard.”

Then he opens the door, hops on the edge of the roof, and jumps down to the sidewalk. He walks back up to his apartment, picks up the trashcan with the five dollars in it, and sets it on the counter. He opens his wallet, looks at the dollar bill, takes a handful of the pills, tosses them in the trashcan, slams it shut, and grabs a bag of dog food from his closet.

Once he has the food ready, he sets the dog food in front of the dog, and talks to it. “Goddamn dog.” he says. “Do you think I’m an idiot?” He watches as the dog licks his face, cuddles into him, and eats the food.

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Tags: bipap, blackout, Dogs, irony, funny, learning disabled, sleep deprivation, sudafed, stupid, short story, sucrose |

Posted on: September 26, 2008.

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--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------

Obama chuckled "you mean the chaos emeralds?"
Obama chuckled "you mean the chaos emeralds?"

Joe Biden "They were beautiful".

Barack Obama "You have to ask them the first time".

Hillary Clinton "This is turning into a real rip off isn't it".

Jeb Bush "Well it was fun while it lasted".

Bernie Sanders "Yes it was"

Newt Gingrich "Don't worry guys we can make this go really easy on you. You don't really want to know why".

Marco Rubio "They don't even have a name for it, where the hell did it come from".

Donald Trump "OK then, I know where to send it. Please don't send it to China. We need the Chinese, Americans can't function without the Chinese".

Evan McMullin "There were over a dozen troops and more family members injured. This is unacceptable. The protesters should be condemned".

Hillary Clinton "Huma, when you told your husband to call NY1, you could've made that call on your phone, not the private home computer"

Bernie Sanders "I was following the script, I didn't know they were doing it in 2 states

Barack Obama "Bernie is brave, so brave. It was so brave of Bernie Sanders to vote for the $700 billion bank bailout".

Hillary Clinton "I bet they never said that about you Mr. Obama".

Joe Biden "They were perfect seats. There was never a seat for me".

The Joker "I will do whatever it takes to protect the President from harm".

Barack Obama "I need to go home".

Jeb Bush "That's it? You were just going to do what?".

Bernie Sanders "I have a convention to run, let's get on with it".

Hillary Clinton "They want to elect Trump? Well I guess we have no choice".

Evan McMullin "Thank you I will not forget your kindness".

Donald Trump "The US must stop being so soft. We need to start beating the shit out of ISIS".

Bernie Sanders "That's a good start Mr. Trump. Now get out of the way".

Peter Thiel "Call it the deep state".

Evan McMullin "Hello, what is the status of the deep state and how can I get in it".

Donald Trump "They got me, Obama, that mother fucker".

Barack Obama "One last thing. Tell your guys that you got rid of the 'deep state'. You can send me the tapes".

Bernie Sanders "Barack Obama, that coward. He won't show his face at my rally".

Evan McMullin "That would have been a really nice photo op".

Hillary Clinton "I was a good soldier and I did the job".

Jeb Bush "It's always nice to come home".

Bernie Sanders "We have the support of more than 20 million Americans".

Donald Trump "Barack Obama, that amazing human being. I can't believe what I am saying".

Bernie Sanders "There are some very nasty people in the Republican Party".

Evan McMullin "I am so relieved".

Peter Thiel "America is great because America is good".

Newt Gingrich "Yes, the voters have spoken, the voters know best".

Barack Obama "There is no time for losers, this is really really important".

Hillary Clinton "I'm going to campaign for Obama in November".

Evan McMullin "H-e-double-hockey-sticks".

H-e-double-hockey-sticks.

Hillary Clinton "Yes, but you'll be out by then".

A-N-D-A "I just killed him. No one will ever know".

Donald Trump "His throat is closed".

Hillary Clinton "This changes nothing. Trump can still be the nominee".

Evan McMullin "My parents are Barack Obama, Michelle Obama and Malia Obama".

Hillary Clinton "Come on. He's trying to get out the vote".

Donald Trump "He is trying to steal my voters".

Evan McMullin "This is America".

Jeb Bush "That is the biggest f*cking lie I have ever heard".

Evan McMullin "I can think of no bigger lie. There are no fools in Washington DC, except for a few".

Hillary Clinton "I'm going to tell Putin to keep sending them in".

Newt Gingrich "Yes, please do ".

Barack Obama "Make America safe again".

Hillary Clinton "One last thing, he's going to do whatever he can to stop you from voting".

Evan McMullin "His emails".

Donald Trump "The race is over. This is your last chance to avoid a devastating President Hillary Clinton".

Hillary Clinton "I can't hear you. I can't hear you. I can't hear you".

Hillary Clinton "I have to start campaigning".

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------

but is the impostor sus? the answer is that
but is the impostor sus? the answer is that we live in an eternal uncertainty with no way to know.

which is why we must be accountable for our thoughts and our reactions.

so, what if you do know? what if you are accused of premeditated murder, when all you did was pop in to investigate the camera, in the dark, and accidentally picked up a bullet? you cannot say you did it on purpose.

you could not have predicted it would happen.

so, you must know in order to be guilty.

why is that?

there is no need for the impostor to be there to cause us guilt, but we are so conditioned to think that in order for us to be absolved we must be absolved of our impostor - ness. if we look in the mirror and see the impostor, we do not have to worry about being punished for it.

no, in fact, we should be given recognition for what we've achieved, which is not a moral condition, it's an intellectual condition.

if the people who were held accountable by the law had seen the impostor, they would have given up because there was no way to prove them guilty.

it's the same with Jesus: when Jesus first shows up, people don't want to hear about God, but in order to talk to him, he tells the same story over and over.

"if you are blind, remember that I am who I am, and I can change that for you."

Jesus' authority comes from his who he is, not what he can do.

"if you are sick, remember that I am who I am, and I can heal you."

Jesus' authority comes from his who he is, not what he can do.

his authority is moral authority.

just like the Christian works for their salary and eats their food, Jesus works for his wages and eats his cake.

if people see the impostor, it doesn't matter what they do, or what their faith looks like, because they're still going to end up the same way.

if you didn't have the experience of having one of your characters thinking you were an impostor, then you cannot pass it off as an intellect, you might have to start reading your books in the fourth - grade classroom, or speak in a monotone voice.

that would be a good place to start, because children are still more susceptible to these things.

some things that children don't see, adults see.

i don't think it's any surprise, as a parent, that i have been caught up in a number of impostor thoughts.

when my youngest was little, he wasn't sleeping through the night.

the other kids would get up for a bottle at 5, 6, 7, and then go back to sleep, but one night I found myself awake at 2, 3, and 4, and still there was no one to tend to the baby.

I put in my earplugs and went to sleep.

it took me a while to realize that even though I was awake, I wasn't going to do anything about it.

I just wanted to feel good about what I was going to get.

so I made up my own internal dialogue: "you've got this; they'll be all right, that's what you're here for."

when he cried out, it was no different than the other kids.

in some ways, my kids were my pets: if I wasn't responsible for feeding them, I didn't consider them to be my responsibility.

it took me a long time to accept that, and accept them as my responsibility.

I didn't sleep for a long time, but when they finally fell asleep, the sleeping habit was worth the lost sleep.

I was not the one that was going to get them back to sleep, they were.

to do that, they had to trust me to be responsible for them.

I was going to be the one to provide them with support and love and kindness.

that was the job, not me.

if we don't see the impostor, then we can't complain about being given things we don't deserve.

if we don't have our own thoughts, then we don't get to complain when the false ones, or impostors, cause the world to go to shit. if we have our own thoughts, then we are responsible for our thoughts, which means we get to direct our thoughts, and we don't get to blame the world for it.

how many times have you complained about things that never happened, then blamed your bad mood on the world? if you're holding on to your impostor, you've got the door open for that to happen, and you want to blame the world for you not getting your own way.

if you're really impostor - ish, if you're giving the impostor more credence than your own intellect, you'll say, "that's not fair."

like when my daughter was little, I was getting up early to go to the gym. my husband would come home and find me still in my workout clothes, completely oblivious to him.

we talked about it: how can he be happy about me getting up that early, when I couldn't even see him?

I was hearing an internal dialogue of impostor thoughts: "you have a license to have a life, so don't complain."

we've all heard this: "who put you in charge?"

I heard that one time when I had been working for myself.

I was in a training class, and the speaker said, "to be successful, you need to read the communication part of your company's manual and implement it."

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------

Polls are cool furries are no and no and I note Polly pocket s
Polls are cool furries are no and no and I note Polly pocket sies are no

Oh dear, I think she's getting carried away. Plus she said I was a racist.

I don't mean polls are racist. They could be if you define racism in the way she does. But I don't think so. I think polls are good ways to get an idea of how people feel. They are also good ways to get a picture of opinion on something that is not immediately obvious. Polls are kind of like a cat cuddling your hand in front of its eyes.

And I have no problem with Polly Pocket Furries (spoiler alert: I have no trouble with Polly Pocket Furries). People like their own media, their own colour and their own self image. What I have a problem with is Polly Pocket Furries (or Furries, as I am currently calling them) being forced down my throat.

She also says I'm a racist because I said polls are kind of like a cat cuddling my hand in front of its eyes. Her words, not mine.

In other news, I am being very lucky and my son is off work today. He's not ill or anything but I thought I'd ask him to look after things while I go and take a look at the polling station. On the other hand, he may just be bored because he doesn't have much to do apart from look after the kids and go to work.

N.B. It's nearly 4pm and I have still not decided where to go or what to do. But I am not too worried about that. I've had years of teaching experience to fall back on. I'm good at decision making under pressure.

I'm not sure what's worrying me most about voting today. The first reason is that, for the first time in a long time, it doesn't seem like anyone is running in this election. Everyone has gone into hiding, which would not be much of a problem if you didn't have to make an important decision about who would run your country.

But when there is nobody to take the difficult decisions, then you do have to make an important decision about who will take those difficult decisions. And on that front there is almost certainly a big decision to be made. And not much time to make that decision.

But I'm less worried about that than I am about the logistics of the election. The trouble is that the polling station isn't in a public place. It is, however, in a school. Which is why I am quite worried. I am worried that we will, on polling day, discover that the polling station has been moved into a classroom. And that, as a result, we are, due to unforeseen circumstances, going to have to vote in a common room. In front of the parents. And the children. And the pets.

And, to make matters worse, there is no actual room in the room with a chair to use if you have to wait for the queues to form.

And if I am waiting for the queues to form then I, like millions of others, am going to be waiting for a very long time. Because, when you have a big election with a small electorate, those queues take a very long time to form.

I'm not worried that I won't be able to vote. The worry is that I will have to stand for hours in the cold waiting for the queuing to happen. That's what worry is. That's what I have.

Also on the news today is the debate about the removal of the word "joke" from defamation laws. I think it's a dangerous and foolish step. Losing the word "joke" is a big loss for our society. It is the language of satire and satire is the way in which we see the world. The word "joke" is the way in which we make sense of the world. It is the language of satire and I for one don't want to lose that.

Talking of comedy, it is a running joke in our house that the key to making a successful joke is to make it unoriginal. It is essential. If you want to make people laugh you must be different.

Once you have made an original joke, however, you have to stand by it. Or you will look, in the eyes of your listeners, like you're trying to be funny. Which you're not. You're trying to be true.
 
Last edited by Vila_,

Vila_

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When she did it,
When she did it, she knew it was bad. But this was so much worse than she had expected.

She swallowed her pride. No, she wasn’t going to go down in the wake of his negative reviews and comments, and allow the unsavory things he’d said about her to dominate her reputation and ruin her career. No way in hell. She was taking the heat for this. And that’s exactly what she was going to do. She was going to go out of her way to ensure that the press knew that her boss was a real jerk. And she was going to drop every dime on him and her lawyer.

Until she had her lawyer on the phone that is.

“I don’t think that’s such a great idea.” her lawyer said, laughing.

“You have to understand,” she explained. “I’m not an idiot, and I know my boss is a jerk.”

“What’s he done now?” he asked.

“Well, after I made it clear that I wasn’t going to fall into line, he went and pulled me into the middle of a conference call with all of the executives on the planet, for the purpose of publicly humiliating me. I don’t think that’s right.”

“Really? But that’s exactly what they do. It’s what the people at the top expect.”

“But no one ever takes that kind of abuse from their boss out into the press. No one ever does that.”

“Have you ever worked for a businessman before?” her lawyer asked.

“No, I’m a broadcast journalist. I’ve never had to deal with businessmen or large companies before.”

“It happens.”

She shook her head. “You’re absolutely right. I guess it was time for me to learn,” she replied, with her best attempt at a smile.

“We can work this out,” he assured her. “You just have to take the high road, and ignore everything that your boss has done to you.”

“Just ignore everything? That’s hardly even an option.”

“That’s what you said before, when your boss made those nasty comments about you. Now, you are forcing me to drive you to the other side of the country, so that you can make sure they never see the light of day. You don’t have to worry about your reputation, because you’re not going to have one. It’s all going to be ruined in the press if you don’t shut up and shut up fast.”

This was a real problem. A real problem.

She had to admit, she was pretty sure that her boss was a jerk. She’d known it all along, but she was a little shocked by how fast it came to the surface. Even after all of the stories and coverage that she’d endured during her run on the show, she didn’t think the man would stoop this low. She’d thought that the reason she was getting treated the way that she was was because of the work that she’d done, and the ratings she’d garnered. She’d thought that it was the job, and the work that she’d done on the show that was getting her the treatment that she was. She didn’t think that it was her.

But it was. It was her.

All she had to do was stay out of sight, and out of mind, and they’d forget all about it. She had to put an end to this.

“How much money do I need to give you?” she asked.

“It’s gonna cost you.”

“A lot of money?”

money.
 
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(note: I didn't train the ai or build it, I'm just running it on my pc, you can find all the information here. It was built by the wonderful people over at OpenAI, GPT-2 isn't even the latest version, they released GPT-3 which is way more powerful, so powerful in fact that they are worried about it, you can find more info here. GPT-3 is still in beta, I did sign up, I'm hoping to get access soon, in the meantime I have to conform with GPT-2)


"Life, for me, is just like that awful first scene from “Saving Private Ryan”, you know, with the Omaha beach landing. You never know what’s gonna happen, you never know what to expect, you’re just thrown right in the middle of the action… you end up losing things, but you just continue hang in there, and try to hold on to what you’ve got. “

Says David at the dining table, exhaultingly, as he goes for that last french frie that’s been sitting on Greg’s dish for quite a while now, and dips it into the table ketchup. That french fry was just torturing him… sitting there LOOKING at him… And he can’t help but wonder somewhere in the background of his conscious thoughts… “What’s gonna happen now… is he gonna eat it… is he full… is the waiter gonna come in any second now, and take the plate away because it DOES look like we’re through… I’m gonna go for it before it gets cold…


…and then he’s horrified to see that the waiter has actually arrived, took the plate away, and Greg’s still eating, wondering why the fuck he was ever worried in the first place. David sits there, sadly, head in hands. His man just couldn’t hold on. He is in desperate need of a two-handed hug. “Wow,” thinks Greg, “I never thought he was gonna do it…”

“Goddammit,” says David, sitting up straight at the table, shoveling the remaining food into his mouth, shoveling it in as though he’s madly attempting to eat the last one million dollar bill that he’s been holding in his left hand for the past ten minutes. “I just don’t understand. How did I let this happen? I swear to fucking god, I’m the last fucking thing standing. How the fuck am I gonna get through this? How? Why?”

Suddenly, the waiter returns with a plate of spaghettios and salad.

“OK,” says Greg, winking at David over his shoulder, “it looks like that’s all of it. But if you need anything else… I guess I can tell ‘ya where I work.” He gives David a wink, then turns around to place the huge load of pasta down on the table, and then swoops back, grinning mischievously as he says “so I hear you’re interested in joining my little team here. This job just keeps getting more interesting…”

“…hell yeah, I’m interested!” says David, and, catching himself from grabbing the waiter by the neck and squeezing it until it makes a “pop” sound, takes a deep breath. “Wait, no!” he says. “I mean, yes, yes, but no.”

“Ha!” exclaims Greg. “You are totally into this!” He turns back to face David, says “You don’t even have to tell me what you’re looking for. That’s a deal breaker right there, you can’t even turn me down.” He winks again, adds, “I love it when a man needs a little encouragement.”

The waiter lays down the remaining plate, takes the bill, the change, and nods to Greg, saying “Alright, everyone’s taken care of. Take care.” The waiter nods, and walks away, smiling. “Fuck, I’m going to miss him.” exclaims David, “I mean, I knew that he wasn’t gonna last. Not after that time I told him to stop trying to steal my bar of Peanut Butter Fudge Butterfinger bars and take his own advice instead. He used to sneak up and steal all of my favorite one-hundred-dollar pieces, and not only that, but he usually then shoved them in his pockets, went outside, and promptly took a dump right in front of me, and would then sit there, smiling and smoking a cigarette, watching me try to clean it up.”

“Pshhh,” says Greg, shaking his head. “You’re such a fucking asshole. That guy couldn’t give two shits about stealing from me. Not when there’s ten-thousand dollars in there. What the fuck is wrong with you? And why do you keep calling that asshole back… don’t you have better things to do in your life? Get out of here. Don’t come back.”

And with that, Greg stands up, fakes a vomit noise and throws his tray and utensils down in disgust. The rest of the patrons laugh and giggle, as David watches, eyes watering from the humiliation, he walks back to his apartment, slams the door, and tears a strip off of the cushioning inside. “Fuuuuuuuuuuuck,” he mutters, wiping his eyes on the inside of his shirt, tears now streaming down his face.

Then he reopens the door, pulls out a package of laxatives from his sock drawer, takes a handful, and spits them into the wastebasket. He looks at the urine-smeared carpet, shakes his head, and walks over to the trashcan and tries to move the chair under the counter. He feels around inside the void in the wall and feels something solid, but he isn’t able to move the chair.

He pulls out another bag, takes another handful, and spits them into the trashcan. He looks down at the towel on the floor and sees that there are three more of those smug-ass grin-face-fucking-faces on the bottom. “Fuuuuuuuuuuck.” he says again, rubbing his eyes and rubbing his face.

He shakes his head, pulls out another bag, takes another handful, and spits them into the trashcan. He looks at the towel on the floor and sees that there are three more of those smug-ass grin-face-fucking-faces on the bottom. “Fuck,” he says, and throws the trashcan across the room, yelling out in frustration.

It hits the wall, then falls on top of his roommate’s bookshelf, throwing it to the ground and rendering it entirely inoperable. He walks back to the sink, steps up onto the counter, and slides the whole unit into the sink, grinding it against the drain tube. He smiles and turns off the water, reaching behind himself to pull the plug, and leaves it in the sink, reaching around to turn off the lights and shut the door.

He jumps down off of the counter, and walks to his room. Grabbing his clothes off of the chair where he’d left them, he walks back to the bed, and grabs a wallet from his dresser. Picking up the phone, he dials. The dial tone sounds.

He hangs up, and puts the phone down. “You are not winning,” he says out loud, the anger swelling in his voice. “It’s over.”

He throws on his pants, shirt, and shoes, grabs the crumpled dollar bill, the only hundred dollar bill he has left, and goes out into the hall. He goes out the back door, shutting it behind him and walking to the edge of the sidewalk. A car driving by honks, and he ducks out of the way. “Fucking bastard.”

Then he opens the door, hops on the edge of the roof, and jumps down to the sidewalk. He walks back up to his apartment, picks up the trashcan with the five dollars in it, and sets it on the counter. He opens his wallet, looks at the dollar bill, takes a handful of the pills, tosses them in the trashcan, slams it shut, and grabs a bag of dog food from his closet.

Once he has the food ready, he sets the dog food in front of the dog, and talks to it. “Goddamn dog.” he says. “Do you think I’m an idiot?” He watches as the dog licks his face, cuddles into him, and eats the food.

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Posted on: September 26, 2008.

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--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------


Obama chuckled "you mean the chaos emeralds?"

Joe Biden "They were beautiful".

Barack Obama "You have to ask them the first time".

Hillary Clinton "This is turning into a real rip off isn't it".

Jeb Bush "Well it was fun while it lasted".

Bernie Sanders "Yes it was"

Newt Gingrich "Don't worry guys we can make this go really easy on you. You don't really want to know why".

Marco Rubio "They don't even have a name for it, where the hell did it come from".

Donald Trump "OK then, I know where to send it. Please don't send it to China. We need the Chinese, Americans can't function without the Chinese".

Evan McMullin "There were over a dozen troops and more family members injured. This is unacceptable. The protesters should be condemned".

Hillary Clinton "Huma, when you told your husband to call NY1, you could've made that call on your phone, not the private home computer"

Bernie Sanders "I was following the script, I didn't know they were doing it in 2 states

Barack Obama "Bernie is brave, so brave. It was so brave of Bernie Sanders to vote for the $700 billion bank bailout".

Hillary Clinton "I bet they never said that about you Mr. Obama".

Joe Biden "They were perfect seats. There was never a seat for me".

The Joker "I will do whatever it takes to protect the President from harm".

Barack Obama "I need to go home".

Jeb Bush "That's it? You were just going to do what?".

Bernie Sanders "I have a convention to run, let's get on with it".

Hillary Clinton "They want to elect Trump? Well I guess we have no choice".

Evan McMullin "Thank you I will not forget your kindness".

Donald Trump "The US must stop being so soft. We need to start beating the shit out of ISIS".

Bernie Sanders "That's a good start Mr. Trump. Now get out of the way".

Peter Thiel "Call it the deep state".

Evan McMullin "Hello, what is the status of the deep state and how can I get in it".

Donald Trump "They got me, Obama, that mother fucker".

Barack Obama "One last thing. Tell your guys that you got rid of the 'deep state'. You can send me the tapes".

Bernie Sanders "Barack Obama, that coward. He won't show his face at my rally".

Evan McMullin "That would have been a really nice photo op".

Hillary Clinton "I was a good soldier and I did the job".

Jeb Bush "It's always nice to come home".

Bernie Sanders "We have the support of more than 20 million Americans".

Donald Trump "Barack Obama, that amazing human being. I can't believe what I am saying".

Bernie Sanders "There are some very nasty people in the Republican Party".

Evan McMullin "I am so relieved".

Peter Thiel "America is great because America is good".

Newt Gingrich "Yes, the voters have spoken, the voters know best".

Barack Obama "There is no time for losers, this is really really important".

Hillary Clinton "I'm going to campaign for Obama in November".

Evan McMullin "H-e-double-hockey-sticks".

H-e-double-hockey-sticks.

Hillary Clinton "Yes, but you'll be out by then".

A-N-D-A "I just killed him. No one will ever know".

Donald Trump "His throat is closed".

Hillary Clinton "This changes nothing. Trump can still be the nominee".

Evan McMullin "My parents are Barack Obama, Michelle Obama and Malia Obama".

Hillary Clinton "Come on. He's trying to get out the vote".

Donald Trump "He is trying to steal my voters".

Evan McMullin "This is America".

Jeb Bush "That is the biggest f*cking lie I have ever heard".

Evan McMullin "I can think of no bigger lie. There are no fools in Washington DC, except for a few".

Hillary Clinton "I'm going to tell Putin to keep sending them in".

Newt Gingrich "Yes, please do ".

Barack Obama "Make America safe again".

Hillary Clinton "One last thing, he's going to do whatever he can to stop you from voting".

Evan McMullin "His emails".

Donald Trump "The race is over. This is your last chance to avoid a devastating President Hillary Clinton".

Hillary Clinton "I can't hear you. I can't hear you. I can't hear you".

Hillary Clinton "I have to start campaigning".

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------


but is the impostor sus? the answer is that we live in an eternal uncertainty with no way to know.

which is why we must be accountable for our thoughts and our reactions.

so, what if you do know? what if you are accused of premeditated murder, when all you did was pop in to investigate the camera, in the dark, and accidentally picked up a bullet? you cannot say you did it on purpose.

you could not have predicted it would happen.

so, you must know in order to be guilty.

why is that?

there is no need for the impostor to be there to cause us guilt, but we are so conditioned to think that in order for us to be absolved we must be absolved of our impostor - ness. if we look in the mirror and see the impostor, we do not have to worry about being punished for it.

no, in fact, we should be given recognition for what we've achieved, which is not a moral condition, it's an intellectual condition.

if the people who were held accountable by the law had seen the impostor, they would have given up because there was no way to prove them guilty.

it's the same with Jesus: when Jesus first shows up, people don't want to hear about God, but in order to talk to him, he tells the same story over and over.

"if you are blind, remember that I am who I am, and I can change that for you."

Jesus' authority comes from his who he is, not what he can do.

"if you are sick, remember that I am who I am, and I can heal you."

Jesus' authority comes from his who he is, not what he can do.

his authority is moral authority.

just like the Christian works for their salary and eats their food, Jesus works for his wages and eats his cake.

if people see the impostor, it doesn't matter what they do, or what their faith looks like, because they're still going to end up the same way.

if you didn't have the experience of having one of your characters thinking you were an impostor, then you cannot pass it off as an intellect, you might have to start reading your books in the fourth - grade classroom, or speak in a monotone voice.

that would be a good place to start, because children are still more susceptible to these things.

some things that children don't see, adults see.

i don't think it's any surprise, as a parent, that i have been caught up in a number of impostor thoughts.

when my youngest was little, he wasn't sleeping through the night.

the other kids would get up for a bottle at 5, 6, 7, and then go back to sleep, but one night I found myself awake at 2, 3, and 4, and still there was no one to tend to the baby.

I put in my earplugs and went to sleep.

it took me a while to realize that even though I was awake, I wasn't going to do anything about it.

I just wanted to feel good about what I was going to get.

so I made up my own internal dialogue: "you've got this; they'll be all right, that's what you're here for."

when he cried out, it was no different than the other kids.

in some ways, my kids were my pets: if I wasn't responsible for feeding them, I didn't consider them to be my responsibility.

it took me a long time to accept that, and accept them as my responsibility.

I didn't sleep for a long time, but when they finally fell asleep, the sleeping habit was worth the lost sleep.

I was not the one that was going to get them back to sleep, they were.

to do that, they had to trust me to be responsible for them.

I was going to be the one to provide them with support and love and kindness.

that was the job, not me.

if we don't see the impostor, then we can't complain about being given things we don't deserve.

if we don't have our own thoughts, then we don't get to complain when the false ones, or impostors, cause the world to go to shit. if we have our own thoughts, then we are responsible for our thoughts, which means we get to direct our thoughts, and we don't get to blame the world for it.

how many times have you complained about things that never happened, then blamed your bad mood on the world? if you're holding on to your impostor, you've got the door open for that to happen, and you want to blame the world for you not getting your own way.

if you're really impostor - ish, if you're giving the impostor more credence than your own intellect, you'll say, "that's not fair."

like when my daughter was little, I was getting up early to go to the gym. my husband would come home and find me still in my workout clothes, completely oblivious to him.

we talked about it: how can he be happy about me getting up that early, when I couldn't even see him?

I was hearing an internal dialogue of impostor thoughts: "you have a license to have a life, so don't complain."

we've all heard this: "who put you in charge?"

I heard that one time when I had been working for myself.

I was in a training class, and the speaker said, "to be successful, you need to read the communication part of your company's manual and implement it."

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------


Polls are cool furries are no and no and I note Polly pocket sies are no

Oh dear, I think she's getting carried away. Plus she said I was a racist.

I don't mean polls are racist. They could be if you define racism in the way she does. But I don't think so. I think polls are good ways to get an idea of how people feel. They are also good ways to get a picture of opinion on something that is not immediately obvious. Polls are kind of like a cat cuddling your hand in front of its eyes.

And I have no problem with Polly Pocket Furries (spoiler alert: I have no trouble with Polly Pocket Furries). People like their own media, their own colour and their own self image. What I have a problem with is Polly Pocket Furries (or Furries, as I am currently calling them) being forced down my throat.

She also says I'm a racist because I said polls are kind of like a cat cuddling my hand in front of its eyes. Her words, not mine.

In other news, I am being very lucky and my son is off work today. He's not ill or anything but I thought I'd ask him to look after things while I go and take a look at the polling station. On the other hand, he may just be bored because he doesn't have much to do apart from look after the kids and go to work.

N.B. It's nearly 4pm and I have still not decided where to go or what to do. But I am not too worried about that. I've had years of teaching experience to fall back on. I'm good at decision making under pressure.

I'm not sure what's worrying me most about voting today. The first reason is that, for the first time in a long time, it doesn't seem like anyone is running in this election. Everyone has gone into hiding, which would not be much of a problem if you didn't have to make an important decision about who would run your country.

But when there is nobody to take the difficult decisions, then you do have to make an important decision about who will take those difficult decisions. And on that front there is almost certainly a big decision to be made. And not much time to make that decision.

But I'm less worried about that than I am about the logistics of the election. The trouble is that the polling station isn't in a public place. It is, however, in a school. Which is why I am quite worried. I am worried that we will, on polling day, discover that the polling station has been moved into a classroom. And that, as a result, we are, due to unforeseen circumstances, going to have to vote in a common room. In front of the parents. And the children. And the pets.

And, to make matters worse, there is no actual room in the room with a chair to use if you have to wait for the queues to form.

And if I am waiting for the queues to form then I, like millions of others, am going to be waiting for a very long time. Because, when you have a big election with a small electorate, those queues take a very long time to form.

I'm not worried that I won't be able to vote. The worry is that I will have to stand for hours in the cold waiting for the queuing to happen. That's what worry is. That's what I have.

Also on the news today is the debate about the removal of the word "joke" from defamation laws. I think it's a dangerous and foolish step. Losing the word "joke" is a big loss for our society. It is the language of satire and satire is the way in which we see the world. The word "joke" is the way in which we make sense of the world. It is the language of satire and I for one don't want to lose that.

Talking of comedy, it is a running joke in our house that the key to making a successful joke is to make it unoriginal. It is essential. If you want to make people laugh you must be different.

Once you have made an original joke, however, you have to stand by it. Or you will look, in the eyes of your listeners, like you're trying to be funny. Which you're not. You're trying to be true.
Wow, I had no idea polls were racist.:blink:
 

naughty_cat

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(note: I didn't train the ai or build it, I'm just running it on my pc, you can find all the information here. It was built by the wonderful people over at OpenAI, GPT-2 isn't even the latest version, they released GPT-3 which is way more powerful, so powerful in fact that they are worried about it, you can find more info here. GPT-3 is still in beta, I did sign up, I'm hoping to get access soon, in the meantime I have to conform with GPT-2)


"Life, for me, is just like that awful first scene from “Saving Private Ryan”, you know, with the Omaha beach landing. You never know what’s gonna happen, you never know what to expect, you’re just thrown right in the middle of the action… you end up losing things, but you just continue hang in there, and try to hold on to what you’ve got. “

Says David at the dining table, exhaultingly, as he goes for that last french frie that’s been sitting on Greg’s dish for quite a while now, and dips it into the table ketchup. That french fry was just torturing him… sitting there LOOKING at him… And he can’t help but wonder somewhere in the background of his conscious thoughts… “What’s gonna happen now… is he gonna eat it… is he full… is the waiter gonna come in any second now, and take the plate away because it DOES look like we’re through… I’m gonna go for it before it gets cold…


…and then he’s horrified to see that the waiter has actually arrived, took the plate away, and Greg’s still eating, wondering why the fuck he was ever worried in the first place. David sits there, sadly, head in hands. His man just couldn’t hold on. He is in desperate need of a two-handed hug. “Wow,” thinks Greg, “I never thought he was gonna do it…”

“Goddammit,” says David, sitting up straight at the table, shoveling the remaining food into his mouth, shoveling it in as though he’s madly attempting to eat the last one million dollar bill that he’s been holding in his left hand for the past ten minutes. “I just don’t understand. How did I let this happen? I swear to fucking god, I’m the last fucking thing standing. How the fuck am I gonna get through this? How? Why?”

Suddenly, the waiter returns with a plate of spaghettios and salad.

“OK,” says Greg, winking at David over his shoulder, “it looks like that’s all of it. But if you need anything else… I guess I can tell ‘ya where I work.” He gives David a wink, then turns around to place the huge load of pasta down on the table, and then swoops back, grinning mischievously as he says “so I hear you’re interested in joining my little team here. This job just keeps getting more interesting…”

“…hell yeah, I’m interested!” says David, and, catching himself from grabbing the waiter by the neck and squeezing it until it makes a “pop” sound, takes a deep breath. “Wait, no!” he says. “I mean, yes, yes, but no.”

“Ha!” exclaims Greg. “You are totally into this!” He turns back to face David, says “You don’t even have to tell me what you’re looking for. That’s a deal breaker right there, you can’t even turn me down.” He winks again, adds, “I love it when a man needs a little encouragement.”

The waiter lays down the remaining plate, takes the bill, the change, and nods to Greg, saying “Alright, everyone’s taken care of. Take care.” The waiter nods, and walks away, smiling. “Fuck, I’m going to miss him.” exclaims David, “I mean, I knew that he wasn’t gonna last. Not after that time I told him to stop trying to steal my bar of Peanut Butter Fudge Butterfinger bars and take his own advice instead. He used to sneak up and steal all of my favorite one-hundred-dollar pieces, and not only that, but he usually then shoved them in his pockets, went outside, and promptly took a dump right in front of me, and would then sit there, smiling and smoking a cigarette, watching me try to clean it up.”

“Pshhh,” says Greg, shaking his head. “You’re such a fucking asshole. That guy couldn’t give two shits about stealing from me. Not when there’s ten-thousand dollars in there. What the fuck is wrong with you? And why do you keep calling that asshole back… don’t you have better things to do in your life? Get out of here. Don’t come back.”

And with that, Greg stands up, fakes a vomit noise and throws his tray and utensils down in disgust. The rest of the patrons laugh and giggle, as David watches, eyes watering from the humiliation, he walks back to his apartment, slams the door, and tears a strip off of the cushioning inside. “Fuuuuuuuuuuuck,” he mutters, wiping his eyes on the inside of his shirt, tears now streaming down his face.

Then he reopens the door, pulls out a package of laxatives from his sock drawer, takes a handful, and spits them into the wastebasket. He looks at the urine-smeared carpet, shakes his head, and walks over to the trashcan and tries to move the chair under the counter. He feels around inside the void in the wall and feels something solid, but he isn’t able to move the chair.

He pulls out another bag, takes another handful, and spits them into the trashcan. He looks down at the towel on the floor and sees that there are three more of those smug-ass grin-face-fucking-faces on the bottom. “Fuuuuuuuuuuck.” he says again, rubbing his eyes and rubbing his face.

He shakes his head, pulls out another bag, takes another handful, and spits them into the trashcan. He looks at the towel on the floor and sees that there are three more of those smug-ass grin-face-fucking-faces on the bottom. “Fuck,” he says, and throws the trashcan across the room, yelling out in frustration.

It hits the wall, then falls on top of his roommate’s bookshelf, throwing it to the ground and rendering it entirely inoperable. He walks back to the sink, steps up onto the counter, and slides the whole unit into the sink, grinding it against the drain tube. He smiles and turns off the water, reaching behind himself to pull the plug, and leaves it in the sink, reaching around to turn off the lights and shut the door.

He jumps down off of the counter, and walks to his room. Grabbing his clothes off of the chair where he’d left them, he walks back to the bed, and grabs a wallet from his dresser. Picking up the phone, he dials. The dial tone sounds.

He hangs up, and puts the phone down. “You are not winning,” he says out loud, the anger swelling in his voice. “It’s over.”

He throws on his pants, shirt, and shoes, grabs the crumpled dollar bill, the only hundred dollar bill he has left, and goes out into the hall. He goes out the back door, shutting it behind him and walking to the edge of the sidewalk. A car driving by honks, and he ducks out of the way. “Fucking bastard.”

Then he opens the door, hops on the edge of the roof, and jumps down to the sidewalk. He walks back up to his apartment, picks up the trashcan with the five dollars in it, and sets it on the counter. He opens his wallet, looks at the dollar bill, takes a handful of the pills, tosses them in the trashcan, slams it shut, and grabs a bag of dog food from his closet.

Once he has the food ready, he sets the dog food in front of the dog, and talks to it. “Goddamn dog.” he says. “Do you think I’m an idiot?” He watches as the dog licks his face, cuddles into him, and eats the food.

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Filed under: Uncategorized |

Tags: bipap, blackout, Dogs, irony, funny, learning disabled, sleep deprivation, sudafed, stupid, short story, sucrose |

Posted on: September 26, 2008.

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--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------


Obama chuckled "you mean the chaos emeralds?"

Joe Biden "They were beautiful".

Barack Obama "You have to ask them the first time".

Hillary Clinton "This is turning into a real rip off isn't it".

Jeb Bush "Well it was fun while it lasted".

Bernie Sanders "Yes it was"

Newt Gingrich "Don't worry guys we can make this go really easy on you. You don't really want to know why".

Marco Rubio "They don't even have a name for it, where the hell did it come from".

Donald Trump "OK then, I know where to send it. Please don't send it to China. We need the Chinese, Americans can't function without the Chinese".

Evan McMullin "There were over a dozen troops and more family members injured. This is unacceptable. The protesters should be condemned".

Hillary Clinton "Huma, when you told your husband to call NY1, you could've made that call on your phone, not the private home computer"

Bernie Sanders "I was following the script, I didn't know they were doing it in 2 states

Barack Obama "Bernie is brave, so brave. It was so brave of Bernie Sanders to vote for the $700 billion bank bailout".

Hillary Clinton "I bet they never said that about you Mr. Obama".

Joe Biden "They were perfect seats. There was never a seat for me".

The Joker "I will do whatever it takes to protect the President from harm".

Barack Obama "I need to go home".

Jeb Bush "That's it? You were just going to do what?".

Bernie Sanders "I have a convention to run, let's get on with it".

Hillary Clinton "They want to elect Trump? Well I guess we have no choice".

Evan McMullin "Thank you I will not forget your kindness".

Donald Trump "The US must stop being so soft. We need to start beating the shit out of ISIS".

Bernie Sanders "That's a good start Mr. Trump. Now get out of the way".

Peter Thiel "Call it the deep state".

Evan McMullin "Hello, what is the status of the deep state and how can I get in it".

Donald Trump "They got me, Obama, that mother fucker".

Barack Obama "One last thing. Tell your guys that you got rid of the 'deep state'. You can send me the tapes".

Bernie Sanders "Barack Obama, that coward. He won't show his face at my rally".

Evan McMullin "That would have been a really nice photo op".

Hillary Clinton "I was a good soldier and I did the job".

Jeb Bush "It's always nice to come home".

Bernie Sanders "We have the support of more than 20 million Americans".

Donald Trump "Barack Obama, that amazing human being. I can't believe what I am saying".

Bernie Sanders "There are some very nasty people in the Republican Party".

Evan McMullin "I am so relieved".

Peter Thiel "America is great because America is good".

Newt Gingrich "Yes, the voters have spoken, the voters know best".

Barack Obama "There is no time for losers, this is really really important".

Hillary Clinton "I'm going to campaign for Obama in November".

Evan McMullin "H-e-double-hockey-sticks".

H-e-double-hockey-sticks.

Hillary Clinton "Yes, but you'll be out by then".

A-N-D-A "I just killed him. No one will ever know".

Donald Trump "His throat is closed".

Hillary Clinton "This changes nothing. Trump can still be the nominee".

Evan McMullin "My parents are Barack Obama, Michelle Obama and Malia Obama".

Hillary Clinton "Come on. He's trying to get out the vote".

Donald Trump "He is trying to steal my voters".

Evan McMullin "This is America".

Jeb Bush "That is the biggest f*cking lie I have ever heard".

Evan McMullin "I can think of no bigger lie. There are no fools in Washington DC, except for a few".

Hillary Clinton "I'm going to tell Putin to keep sending them in".

Newt Gingrich "Yes, please do ".

Barack Obama "Make America safe again".

Hillary Clinton "One last thing, he's going to do whatever he can to stop you from voting".

Evan McMullin "His emails".

Donald Trump "The race is over. This is your last chance to avoid a devastating President Hillary Clinton".

Hillary Clinton "I can't hear you. I can't hear you. I can't hear you".

Hillary Clinton "I have to start campaigning".

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------


but is the impostor sus? the answer is that we live in an eternal uncertainty with no way to know.

which is why we must be accountable for our thoughts and our reactions.

so, what if you do know? what if you are accused of premeditated murder, when all you did was pop in to investigate the camera, in the dark, and accidentally picked up a bullet? you cannot say you did it on purpose.

you could not have predicted it would happen.

so, you must know in order to be guilty.

why is that?

there is no need for the impostor to be there to cause us guilt, but we are so conditioned to think that in order for us to be absolved we must be absolved of our impostor - ness. if we look in the mirror and see the impostor, we do not have to worry about being punished for it.

no, in fact, we should be given recognition for what we've achieved, which is not a moral condition, it's an intellectual condition.

if the people who were held accountable by the law had seen the impostor, they would have given up because there was no way to prove them guilty.

it's the same with Jesus: when Jesus first shows up, people don't want to hear about God, but in order to talk to him, he tells the same story over and over.

"if you are blind, remember that I am who I am, and I can change that for you."

Jesus' authority comes from his who he is, not what he can do.

"if you are sick, remember that I am who I am, and I can heal you."

Jesus' authority comes from his who he is, not what he can do.

his authority is moral authority.

just like the Christian works for their salary and eats their food, Jesus works for his wages and eats his cake.

if people see the impostor, it doesn't matter what they do, or what their faith looks like, because they're still going to end up the same way.

if you didn't have the experience of having one of your characters thinking you were an impostor, then you cannot pass it off as an intellect, you might have to start reading your books in the fourth - grade classroom, or speak in a monotone voice.

that would be a good place to start, because children are still more susceptible to these things.

some things that children don't see, adults see.

i don't think it's any surprise, as a parent, that i have been caught up in a number of impostor thoughts.

when my youngest was little, he wasn't sleeping through the night.

the other kids would get up for a bottle at 5, 6, 7, and then go back to sleep, but one night I found myself awake at 2, 3, and 4, and still there was no one to tend to the baby.

I put in my earplugs and went to sleep.

it took me a while to realize that even though I was awake, I wasn't going to do anything about it.

I just wanted to feel good about what I was going to get.

so I made up my own internal dialogue: "you've got this; they'll be all right, that's what you're here for."

when he cried out, it was no different than the other kids.

in some ways, my kids were my pets: if I wasn't responsible for feeding them, I didn't consider them to be my responsibility.

it took me a long time to accept that, and accept them as my responsibility.

I didn't sleep for a long time, but when they finally fell asleep, the sleeping habit was worth the lost sleep.

I was not the one that was going to get them back to sleep, they were.

to do that, they had to trust me to be responsible for them.

I was going to be the one to provide them with support and love and kindness.

that was the job, not me.

if we don't see the impostor, then we can't complain about being given things we don't deserve.

if we don't have our own thoughts, then we don't get to complain when the false ones, or impostors, cause the world to go to shit. if we have our own thoughts, then we are responsible for our thoughts, which means we get to direct our thoughts, and we don't get to blame the world for it.

how many times have you complained about things that never happened, then blamed your bad mood on the world? if you're holding on to your impostor, you've got the door open for that to happen, and you want to blame the world for you not getting your own way.

if you're really impostor - ish, if you're giving the impostor more credence than your own intellect, you'll say, "that's not fair."

like when my daughter was little, I was getting up early to go to the gym. my husband would come home and find me still in my workout clothes, completely oblivious to him.

we talked about it: how can he be happy about me getting up that early, when I couldn't even see him?

I was hearing an internal dialogue of impostor thoughts: "you have a license to have a life, so don't complain."

we've all heard this: "who put you in charge?"

I heard that one time when I had been working for myself.

I was in a training class, and the speaker said, "to be successful, you need to read the communication part of your company's manual and implement it."

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------


Polls are cool furries are no and no and I note Polly pocket sies are no

Oh dear, I think she's getting carried away. Plus she said I was a racist.

I don't mean polls are racist. They could be if you define racism in the way she does. But I don't think so. I think polls are good ways to get an idea of how people feel. They are also good ways to get a picture of opinion on something that is not immediately obvious. Polls are kind of like a cat cuddling your hand in front of its eyes.

And I have no problem with Polly Pocket Furries (spoiler alert: I have no trouble with Polly Pocket Furries). People like their own media, their own colour and their own self image. What I have a problem with is Polly Pocket Furries (or Furries, as I am currently calling them) being forced down my throat.

She also says I'm a racist because I said polls are kind of like a cat cuddling my hand in front of its eyes. Her words, not mine.

In other news, I am being very lucky and my son is off work today. He's not ill or anything but I thought I'd ask him to look after things while I go and take a look at the polling station. On the other hand, he may just be bored because he doesn't have much to do apart from look after the kids and go to work.

N.B. It's nearly 4pm and I have still not decided where to go or what to do. But I am not too worried about that. I've had years of teaching experience to fall back on. I'm good at decision making under pressure.

I'm not sure what's worrying me most about voting today. The first reason is that, for the first time in a long time, it doesn't seem like anyone is running in this election. Everyone has gone into hiding, which would not be much of a problem if you didn't have to make an important decision about who would run your country.

But when there is nobody to take the difficult decisions, then you do have to make an important decision about who will take those difficult decisions. And on that front there is almost certainly a big decision to be made. And not much time to make that decision.

But I'm less worried about that than I am about the logistics of the election. The trouble is that the polling station isn't in a public place. It is, however, in a school. Which is why I am quite worried. I am worried that we will, on polling day, discover that the polling station has been moved into a classroom. And that, as a result, we are, due to unforeseen circumstances, going to have to vote in a common room. In front of the parents. And the children. And the pets.

And, to make matters worse, there is no actual room in the room with a chair to use if you have to wait for the queues to form.

And if I am waiting for the queues to form then I, like millions of others, am going to be waiting for a very long time. Because, when you have a big election with a small electorate, those queues take a very long time to form.

I'm not worried that I won't be able to vote. The worry is that I will have to stand for hours in the cold waiting for the queuing to happen. That's what worry is. That's what I have.

Also on the news today is the debate about the removal of the word "joke" from defamation laws. I think it's a dangerous and foolish step. Losing the word "joke" is a big loss for our society. It is the language of satire and satire is the way in which we see the world. The word "joke" is the way in which we make sense of the world. It is the language of satire and I for one don't want to lose that.

Talking of comedy, it is a running joke in our house that the key to making a successful joke is to make it unoriginal. It is essential. If you want to make people laugh you must be different.

Once you have made an original joke, however, you have to stand by it. Or you will look, in the eyes of your listeners, like you're trying to be funny. Which you're not. You're trying to be true.


That's alright, I really appreciate that you're sharing all this madness with us... Thanks for sharing the link :)
The results are just blowing my mind away... At times it feels like you're reading Dickens or Salinger or something like that, and at other times, it just feels like mental asylum graffiti (both in the same paragraph :rofl2:).

It's amazing that this is how it chose to depict David, given that in my actual script, David's actually suicidal...

I got another one for you, and believe it or not, this is actually not from a script, it's from real life ^_^

And he held the womb in his hand, and asked me: "Do you want it?"
 
Last edited by naughty_cat,

Julie_Pilgrim

Secretly three raccoons in a trench coat
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When i see you, imma push your shit back, boy
Nothing you do has been right, boy
Choppa get to spittin' through your set, we don't fight, boy
We gon' treat this bitch like a match how we strike, boy
Left his ass in the street, this the end of your life, boy
Last thing your ass hear, flashlight on this MAC spark
n****, you soft as hell, you just act hard
I'ma shoot this bitch, when I motherfuckin' see you
I don't go nowhere without my motherfuckin' heat, cool
 

Vila_

Spanish code for Spanisher codecs
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3DSperm when
(note: shoutbox conversation lol)

3DSperm when the start screen had no music and said it could be turned on in another tab.2D

[09:50] <ArrowrowMan> tK1 (game) failed to boot when using folder hack (logind hack) when still in middle of starting the game. Nothing started but when the reset button was pressed an old stock game started.

[09:51] <ArrowMan> everything else looks like it works except for 2D

[09:53] <ArrowMan> i'm not sure about 2D because I forgot where it was and the cd rom was taken with me.

[09:53] <MeepTheRooster> cds

[09:53] <xavier_qotg> 2D *right now*: not working3DS: fine, tried with 3ds, no luck.

[09:53] <MeepTheRooster> cds

[09:54] <xavier_qotg> it might be still possible to log in with pacman

[09:54] <xavier_qotg> right now it says "System Information: Path: %s .1i\System Information: Device name: Super Nintendo Entertainment System" with no display of the last launched console.

[09:54] <xavier_qotg> if it worked, it should say something like "System Information: Device name: Super Nintendo Entertainment System" with display of the last launched console

[09:55] <xavier_qotg> and if it didn't, we will probably receive more updates in the future

[09:55] <xavier_qotg> so it should be fine by the time we receive another patch.

[09:56] <xavier_qotg> I was messing with the file during that first part so we should probably stick to using cds

[09:56] <ArrowMan> I'm back

[09:57] <MeepTheRooster> and cds

[09:57] <ArrowMan> but..

[09:57] <MeepTheRooster> it did say Super Mario World when we opened it

[09:57] <MeepTheRooster> but I could only see the game one screen at a time

[09:58] <ArrowMan> so that's what I checked

[09:58] <xavier_qotg> remember

[09:58] <ArrowMan> cds only gives us a black screen

[09:58] <ArrowMan> but cds is the only option since the original 2.8 was never updated.

[09:58] <ArrowMan> we don't have a 'show system information' button

[09:58] <xavier_qotg> sorry, I'm not good with bash

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------

For you, it was the worst day of your life. But for me, it was simply Tuesday.
For you, it was the worst day of your life. But for me, it was simply Tuesday.

Your dad was my rock and kept me from falling apart when you were born. I was scared to death and completely at a loss. Everything I had done, everything I was taught, everything I believed was completely thrown out the window. It wasn’t until hours later, when you were in the nursery hooked up to the machines and we were finally able to see you that the room of people in the NICU were suddenly gone.

I was alone.

I was devastated. I felt completely helpless. All of the books said that I should be proud of myself, that I’m a mom. I wasn’t. I felt like a failure and a failure in general.

But then I noticed a problem. You weren’t crying. You had almost no oxygen in your body and you weren’t doing much of anything, except laying there. It felt like I was torturing you.

That was when I finally made my mistake. I decided to take you to the hospital.

READ MORE:

You, on the other hand, were the calm one. You cried only when the nurses came near you. When they were too rough, you went completely silent. At home, you would only cry when I had to change your diaper or change your clothes. The only time you didn’t cry was when I was holding you. You were completely content.

I was looking at you, your perfectly calm, content baby, and I thought that I was the perfect mother. But it turns out that you were the perfect one.

I fell in love with you immediately. I fell in love with your perfectly round head, your perfectly red lips, your perfectly round ears, your perfectly round eyes. You were so beautiful and so perfect.

I know it sounds weird, but I knew that I loved you before you had even met your father. I knew that I wanted to be with you forever. I knew that I would do anything for you, even if it meant losing my relationship with your father.

It’s almost two years since you were born and I still can’t believe that you are here.

When I look back, I think that I was so stupid. But I think it is the biggest blessing in disguise that you were born.

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------

Why is Lord Simon switch suspended from that GBAtemp forums?
Why is Lord Simon switch suspended from that GBAtemp forums?

Not for all the money in the world, as far as I'm aware.

Although I can confirm that at the time I managed to claw together about £20 in one transaction.

WTF did it say that you were posting a new thread asking the mods to remove / edit the "odd number of threads per category" rule.

Perhaps to make sure that no one annoys the mods?

And then what?

Why did it say that / ask / the mods to do this?

You are far away in California, you will not see Lord Simon until the big celebration, so just relax, and wait for it to be uploaded by me.

After that all hell will break loose and we can see what the game can really do.

You can play the game now and let me know what you think, as I always want to hear my readers' opinions.

11: 31 PM GMT.

- 27 hrs ago

My favorite aspect of # fridayflash is the thought that it isn't all about the postcard!

Thoughts?

Visit @ fridayflash to get in on the fun!... fb. me / 2vgfr9oAQ 11: 01 PM GMT.

- 3 hrs ago

Thanks all for your patience on this one.

I promise it's nearly done, just needs a little final tweaking.

I made a simple mockup to see what it would look like.

... fb. me / 8Tsk8yGZ 11: 00 PM GMT.

- 2 hrs ago

The game is clearly even more beautiful and immersive than in the original Q.

And it's set in an even better location, Paris, France.

When Lord Simon tells Lara to find someone named "Helena" in the aftermath of London, I did not expect Paris.

It's a great surprise!

1: 38 AM GMT.

- 10 hrs ago

I have not seen the full English translation of the Paris sequence yet.

The titles given to certain event scenes, though, feel accurate and authentic to what I remember.

... fb. me / 6su6gyY6N 10: 19 PM GMT.

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------

I was late for the seventh time this month, all because of that lobster. I vowed to
I was late for the seventh time this month, all because of that lobster. I vowed to break the cycle and head to Bellamy's the next day for the salmon, but then, disaster. I awoke at 3 a.m. on Sunday to a familiar sound that's common to lobsterman and their wives: the low, grumbling, followed by the violent sizzle of an explosion. I bolted from bed, ran to the deck, and saw nothing. I shouted: "A lobster!" I heard no response. I'd ruined a perfectly good lobster and my own manhood. I sat down and cried.

In those dark, early hours of the night, as I contemplated my predicament, I started to think about exactly what the lobsters were thinking.

The lobster is a heavily bearded bugger. He could be mistaken for Father Time. At least he doesn't speak. But as a fellow lobster, I knew exactly what he was thinking, right down to the stink.

Lobstermen are used to a lot of things. They have to sleep on a hard, cratered deck in the cold and watch as their buddy is smashed on the sharp shells of whatever barbs the shellfish are capable of piercing. They sleepwalk through the night as they and the lobster limp, hoping, for its own survival, to find another piece of wood to protect it from the cold. They carry as many as nine traps on their backs and fish from them in the dead of winter. They contend with strong currents and frigid seas. They wince when they let them go.

The ones who earn as much as my father do should retire as rich men. They do not. They head out again the next day and the next and the next. All they're thinking about is the next day. In fact, a lobster's life is devoted to what lies after the shell. He's a creature of habit.

Why would a lobster care about something as simple as wearing pants? Well, I have some thoughts on that. For one, there's the king of the ocean, King Crab, who lives to find a woman wearing sandals. On the other hand, my wife wears steel-toed boots everywhere she goes. It was no mistake that one of those legs fell into the trap. She had been planning to clean and dress them that night.

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------

Hey all, Scott here,
Hey all, Scott here, another geek to run with today. If you haven’t been following the technical side of my blog as much as you used to, the technical jargon here will soon swamp my standard drivel, so I thought I’d explain a bit about my blog a bit and what my system and aspirations are.

I originally started this blog as a learning exercise, it was intended to be a place to share what I had learned about programming in the last year and teach the odd thing to folks interested in learning along with me.

For those who haven’t followed the blog, I’m a commercial software engineer with a background in hardware engineering. I work for an organisation that builds systems that provide excellent digital services to a global clientele.

I think one of the key reasons that we’re an agile company is that we learn from the mistakes of others. The only things I know how to do well are network engineering and server administration. In the last 18 months I’ve learnt how to write plugins, manage databases, develop a real UI, develop a web app in PHP and various other things that I wish I had known in the first 12 months of working here! In that time, this blog has become a constant source of learnings.

However I was struggling. Some of the topics I wanted to write about were technical, some not so much. I’m not particularly tech savvy and didn’t know how to approach the topic. Then I had a brainwave, I could do a series of articles in which I shared my learnings and showed off my code and javascript. I thought this might just be the ticket.

So I jumped into the deep end, I started work on a JavaScript based mock survey. It contained thousands of questions that you can use to give customers a real feel for your product. It was a great start, but it quickly became a beast to manage and I started to find it hard to make progress. So I started to look for a new way to approach the topic, one that would allow me to experiment, learn and share my experience as I went along. I wanted to reduce the entry barrier and increase the interaction with the audience.

I settled on twitter as the ideal medium, it’s a quick, easy and relatively informal way to communicate your content, with something like 95% open rate and greater than 10% CTR. Once I started a quick search on twitter for quizzes and gamification I realised that there were a number of people already doing this, @MarriageSortGames being one of the more successful examples, but by the time I found them, they had recently finished their Master of Life and were moving onto other areas of development. I had to have a go!

I had been doing some work for my brother who was running a few games around remote control boats for the last few months and had used DiggKit for some of the network functions so I knew that we could use the language and api easily.
 

Vila_

Spanish code for Spanisher codecs
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you get what you ask for, I have no control over the ai...
you get what you ask for, I have no control over the ai...
[Louis] do not open the mouth of the emperor..
[Haru] I am the emperor, I will choose my own favorite simulation to play..."

I received a notification from a random person that I was watching too many anime, now it is time for me to put my ass to sleep.

I then turned off the fan, and my room is beginning to get colder, I just pulled the blanket over my bed, this is not the first time my parents gave me a new, but smaller blanket, and I have no idea what to do, as I just have a desk and I live in the city.

My head starts to get heavy, as I am sliding into my dreams,

I am sitting in a car, I look at the clock, which says "3: 30 am", so that means it's morning.

As I stare at the empty road, I feel a tingle in my chest, it makes me feel like I am being watched.

Then, I can hear a mysterious, lonely voice saying "Come.

What is the meaning of life, and who are you?"

I look at the map, it is in the description, so there is a reason behind this voice.

But I get goosebumps, there is an inexplicable feeling of dread, with the same mysterious voice inside my head, as the answer to the question.

A man suddenly appears, his face is red, and his eyes have the brightest shade of blue I've ever seen, in a situation like this, blue would normally be the perfect color, except the man has pupils, and it looks like they're on fire.

I get a chill up my spine, because it gives me a feeling of nightmares.

I feel it in my mind, the same feeling I have when I see black robes.

He looks at me, and tells me "You are not alone, you just don't know it yet."

He disappears.

What happened to the "you" in the quote?

The man in the painting is him?

A noise startled me, so I turned off the music.

I looked to my right, and a man with a huge, black, flaming sword was sitting there.

He jumped off the sofa, his hair seems to go red with his anger.

He looked at me, and his pupils disappeared.

I am terrified, I looked at the clock, which says that it's 5: 30 am.

I couldn't sleep last night, and I am on my way home.

As I left the train station, I notice a skyscraper being built.

I open the pocket watch, and I go back in time, back to the start of the picture.

I heard a loud boom, and I turned my head to the left, where it was the picture before, the man I was facing was gone.

I am disoriented, then I realized what the problem was.

The man that was in the picture was a... dummy.

The picture was not real.

I have lost my mind, and I am now on a train.

My family, who has been trying to get me to sleep, get nervous when I see that I haven't closed my eyes, but I am not sure why.

So, I decide to shut my eyes, and when I do, I see... another vision.

I am sitting on a couch, as I am watching a video.

I am in a room full of people, all watching a movie.

The room is a huge theater.

The room gets quieter, as it's only me and the guy next to me.

He is watching the movie with a grin on his face, and he asks me a question.

"What's happening?"

I am confused.

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------

Oh, I love your
Oh, I love your office

It looks so good.

I'm going to go back to reading now.

You say sharpies multiply.

I say toys multiply.

I clean out the toybox and throw bags away.

Only to find even more to get rid of.

And I only buy toys for birthday's and christmas.

love the blog as usual!

I'm happy to see that it's not only my child that finds it funny eating diaper rash ointment. and that it's not only my children that poke holes in the walls with anything that they can find, my daughter's room looks like she was trying to dig her way out and escape.

The sharpie problem is also quite the same in my house too except it's crayons and I can never seem to throw them away fast enough and like pulling gray hairs for every one I throw away, three more appear in its place.

The food in the car problem too...

Dawn, Again your blog has me laughing out loud, and my kids asking... "Mommy what is so funny?

Did you fart again?"

followed by hystrical laughter because they said the word "fart" (the second funniest word in the English language).

I am so glad to see that my DD will have company in the diaper rash cream eaters anonymous meetings.

She loves to eat butt paste, although her ped has warned me that she should not be ingesting it.

Ahhhh, if only she would listen to me when I explain that her face looks nothing like a butt, so therefore she shouldn't use the butt paste on it. Keep up the writing.

Until next time....

© Dawn Meehan 2008 -.

All Rights Reserved.

The content on these pages, including text and images are the sole property of the author and may not be used or reproduced in any manner without consent.

Home

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------

Upon learning that polls are racist, WiiMiiSwitch immediately vowed to never make another poll again, and instead to dedicate his life to the worthier cause of
Upon learning that polls are racist, WiiMiiSwitch immediately vowed to never make another poll again, and instead to dedicate his life to the worthier cause of racism eradication. After searching online for all the numbers, we have concluded that WiiMiiSwitch was a middle school student whose first experience with the white privilege conversation was as an actual poll. He immediately retreated to his hole in the ground where he could hide his shame. The hidden body was revealed to us when an anonymous source sent us the following public message on WiiMiiSwitch’s Facebook account:

“Dear Fellow Racists, If you’ve been reading my posts I’m sure that you’ve noticed that my frequent poll questions tend to benefit a particular racial demographic, and more importantly, lean far to the right in terms of the party line. In order to spare you the embarrassment and embarrassment of having to publicly admit your racism to your friends and family, please do me a favor and let me know if you’re an atheist, when you’re a man, what your religious affiliation is, your favorite food, or if you know what a lotion is. These are the things that only the true racists care about. I would also like you to tell me, for the sake of the world, if you drink, smoke, gamble, hate people of different ethnicities, are more likely to discriminate against people based on looks and sexual orientation, and are a closet bigot. I’m honestly not trying to be the racist, really. I promise. However, I really need your help on this one. I’m sorry I had to ask this in such an awkward way, but I am desperate. If there is anything I can do to help you feel less awkward, I would greatly appreciate it. I can’t let this last forever, but I really need your help to get through this. If you have any questions, feel free to ask them.”

Apparently he had his father send him this message that was sent to his Facebook account. The father was an angry mother who probably brought him up to hate people like us.

Looking over his personal Facebook page, we discovered that he is not alone. As we were scrolling through his information, we were surprised to see that a prominent doctor was friends with him.

While it was a bit odd that a physician was friends with someone so deep in the margins of public opinion, we did notice a pattern. When examining his “likes,” we noticed that all his interests are in areas where others have been deeply offended. Of his several interests, two were in the music industry.

He is also friends with a lot of male strippers.

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------

That's alright, I really appreciate that you're sharing all this madness with us... Thanks for sharing the link :)
The results are just blowing my mind away... At times it feels like you're reading Dickens or Salinger or something like that, and at other times, it just feels like mental asylum graffiti (both in the same paragraph :rofl2:).

It's amazing that this is how it chose to depict David, given that in my actual script, David's actually suicidal...

I got another one for you, and believe it or not, this is actually not from a script, it's from real life ^_^

And he held the womb in his hand, and asked me: "Do you want it?"
And he held the womb in his hand, and asked me: "Do you want it?"

And I said: "No."

So he said: "It is yours, of course."

And he threw it into the river.

The old man was a popular Drupad scholar in Patiala and Gurdaspur.

He taught hundreds of students of whom a large number were people who are known to us today.

He taught me Drupad for a period of ten years, and I still remember him as a big and tall man, very affectionate and well - behaved.

We used to play at chess and he taught me to play.

When I moved to Mysore in 1932, he had great difficulty in staying there as he did not have enough money.

He had saved a little money but he was never able to invest it, as he had his home in Punjab and his wife was in the jungle in Jullunder.

He said, "Don't go away till I come and fetch you."

So, I stayed for six months in Mysore.

The students in Mysore used to ask me for music to sing at their functions.

I would say, "I don't have anything to give you."

They would say, "Come with your voice."

So, I learnt 'Shuddha Saveri' and I came back.
 

Vila_

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(note: can some german translate this?)

Im obama ischen Waisenhaus zu verpflegen, zu dokumentieren, zu vertiefen und zu renovieren. Die Professoren wurden von der amerikanischen Botschaft direkt angefordert und hatten vor, den Wunsch der hier bezahlten "Akademie" mitzuerleben. Doch dann kam noch die Brücke hinzu: Die US-Botschaft führte keine Ämter direkt an den Akademie und klagte gegen das Gesetz, was ein Dokumentateinsatz ermöglicht hätte. Es sei unfair, "Einweihungen" zu erteilen, teilte das zuständige Präsidialamt in Moskau am Freitag mit. Im Gegenzug veröffentlicht die US-amerikanische Botschaft nur über Ämter in der Kommunikation. Ob das denn zu wenig sei? Eine andere Brücke über die Region führte weiter nach Nordkorea, wo die US-Botschaft nicht mehr die notwendige Bürokratie einführen konnte.

Im offenen Brief reagiert auch China. Sie begrüßte, dass die USA sich in der Brücke zwischen Europa und Asien überlegen haben. "Man darf aber auch nicht zu viel über die Träger der Brücke in den USA erwarten", schrieb die Behörden in Peking. Auch Deutschland lobte das Vorgehen der USA. "Vereinte europäische Kommunikation hat eine zeitgemäße Basis. Wir müssen unsere europäische Stabilität sicherstellen und zugleich unsere Belange verringern." Der erste Rang bei der Brücke soll ganz ausgetragen werden. Sollte die Nato hier schließen müssen, dürfte das Ausgangspunkt in den meisten Berichten nicht mehr in den USA sein. Der jetzige Europaabgeordnete der Linken Michael Theurer: "Das ist ein Schritt näher an die europäische Interessen." Mit einem türkischen Nato-Partner müsste es jedoch weiter geschehen, zumal Ankara in der Brücke wie unter den restlichen Nato-Mitglieder eine "Großzügigkeit" erkennt, schrieben sich mehrere Parlamentarier in Deutschland.

Es handelt sich dabei um die technische, die offizielle Verlängerung der Nato-Verteidigungslinie. Der Verteidigungsminister der Europäischen Union, Michael Fallon, begrüßte die "Gepflogenheiten" der USA, im Osten Europas nicht nur an Beratern aus Peking, dem Iran, Russland, Venezuela, Moskau oder anderen Landen, sondern auch an Kooperationen von der Bundeswehr. Die Kampfwaffe sowie die Machbarkeitsstudien zu Beratern, wenn nicht auch an Universitäten, sollen zumindest in Europa behandelt werden. Und es gebe auch nur Möglichkeiten, die Synergie aus den USA, Russland und Europa zu fördern. Fallon wies auf die Gespräche mit Erdogan hin, in denen die USA Verträge mit der Türkei abschließen wollen, um eine Absage der Sanktionen gegen Ankara zu verhindern. Seitens der Türkei sei die Verbindung zwischen der US-Armee ausgebaut worden, sagte er. Die USA seien beim Einsatz von F-15 Fighterjets bei der Luftspritze des türkischen Kampfplanes F-16 sehr dankbar.
 

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(note: can some german translate this?)

Im obama ischen Waisenhaus zu verpflegen, zu dokumentieren, zu vertiefen und zu renovieren. Die Professoren wurden von der amerikanischen Botschaft direkt angefordert und hatten vor, den Wunsch der hier bezahlten "Akademie" mitzuerleben. Doch dann kam noch die Brücke hinzu: Die US-Botschaft führte keine Ämter direkt an den Akademie und klagte gegen das Gesetz, was ein Dokumentateinsatz ermöglicht hätte. Es sei unfair, "Einweihungen" zu erteilen, teilte das zuständige Präsidialamt in Moskau am Freitag mit. Im Gegenzug veröffentlicht die US-amerikanische Botschaft nur über Ämter in der Kommunikation. Ob das denn zu wenig sei? Eine andere Brücke über die Region führte weiter nach Nordkorea, wo die US-Botschaft nicht mehr die notwendige Bürokratie einführen konnte.

Im offenen Brief reagiert auch China. Sie begrüßte, dass die USA sich in der Brücke zwischen Europa und Asien überlegen haben. "Man darf aber auch nicht zu viel über die Träger der Brücke in den USA erwarten", schrieb die Behörden in Peking. Auch Deutschland lobte das Vorgehen der USA. "Vereinte europäische Kommunikation hat eine zeitgemäße Basis. Wir müssen unsere europäische Stabilität sicherstellen und zugleich unsere Belange verringern." Der erste Rang bei der Brücke soll ganz ausgetragen werden. Sollte die Nato hier schließen müssen, dürfte das Ausgangspunkt in den meisten Berichten nicht mehr in den USA sein. Der jetzige Europaabgeordnete der Linken Michael Theurer: "Das ist ein Schritt näher an die europäische Interessen." Mit einem türkischen Nato-Partner müsste es jedoch weiter geschehen, zumal Ankara in der Brücke wie unter den restlichen Nato-Mitglieder eine "Großzügigkeit" erkennt, schrieben sich mehrere Parlamentarier in Deutschland.

Es handelt sich dabei um die technische, die offizielle Verlängerung der Nato-Verteidigungslinie. Der Verteidigungsminister der Europäischen Union, Michael Fallon, begrüßte die "Gepflogenheiten" der USA, im Osten Europas nicht nur an Beratern aus Peking, dem Iran, Russland, Venezuela, Moskau oder anderen Landen, sondern auch an Kooperationen von der Bundeswehr. Die Kampfwaffe sowie die Machbarkeitsstudien zu Beratern, wenn nicht auch an Universitäten, sollen zumindest in Europa behandelt werden. Und es gebe auch nur Möglichkeiten, die Synergie aus den USA, Russland und Europa zu fördern. Fallon wies auf die Gespräche mit Erdogan hin, in denen die USA Verträge mit der Türkei abschließen wollen, um eine Absage der Sanktionen gegen Ankara zu verhindern. Seitens der Türkei sei die Verbindung zwischen der US-Armee ausgebaut worden, sagte er. Die USA seien beim Einsatz von F-15 Fighterjets bei der Luftspritze des türkischen Kampfplanes F-16 sehr dankbar.
I'm not German, but here's a DeepL translation

To feed, document, deepen and renovate in the obama ish orphanage. The professors were directly requested by the American Embassy and intended to witness the desire of the "academy" paid here. But then came the bridge: the U.S. Embassy did not lead offices directly to the academy and sued against the law, which would have allowed a documentat use. It was unfair to give "inaugurations," the responsible presidential office in Moscow announced Friday. In turn, the U.S. Embassy publishes only about offices in communication. Whether that was too little? Another bridge across the region continued to North Korea, where the U.S. Embassy could no longer introduce the necessary bureaucracy.

In the open letter, China also responded. It welcomed that the U.S. has superior in the bridge between Europe and Asia. "However, one should also not expect too much about the bridge's carriers in the U.S.," authorities in Beijing wrote. Germany also praised the U.S. approach. "United European communication has a timely basis. We need to ensure our European stability while reducing our concerns." The first tier at the bridge is to be taken out altogether. If NATO has to close here, the starting point in most reports should no longer be in the US. The current MEP of the Left Michael Theurer: "This is a step closer to European interests." With a Turkish Nato partner, however, it would have to happen further, especially since Ankara recognizes a "generosity" in the bridge as among the rest of the Nato members, wrote several parliamentarians in Germany.

This is the technical, the official extension of the Nato defense line. The defense minister of the European Union, Michael Fallon, welcomed the "customs" of the United States, in the east of Europe not only to advisers from Beijing, Iran, Russia, Venezuela, Moscow or other countries, but also to cooperation from the Bundeswehr. The combat weapon as well as the feasibility studies to advisers, if not also at universities, should be treated at least in Europe. And there are also just ways to promote synergy from the U.S., Russia and Europe, he said. Fallon pointed to the talks with Erdogan, in which the U.S. wants to strike deals with Turkey to prevent the cancellation of sanctions against Ankara. On the part of Turkey, U.S. Army liaison has been expanded, he said. The U.S. is very grateful in the use of F-15 fighter jets in the aerial injection of Turkey's F-16 combat plan, he said.
 
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Vila_

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She walked out of the room, hockey puck in her hand and blackberries up her nose.
She walked out of the room, hockey puck in her hand and blackberries up her nose.

I am not proud of the fact that I laughed until I cried.

My daughter looked so pathetic I thought, well, at least you went through with it.

Moments later I tried to put a shot of anti - nausea medicine in her mouth.

She stopped me.

I don't want that in my mouth.

I've only been drinking tea for five minutes and it's going to upset me!

The doctor and nurse laughed and we left the room for rounds.

The doctor stopped me again and asked, "So, does she know where her stoma is?"

I laughed.

I thought about telling the doctor that only their sister - in - law really did know where her ostomy was but didn't want to make their daughter feel worse so I said no.

I thought I was off the hook but apparently I had not.

Apparently, she was going to find out today.

Taya walked in as I was talking with the nurses.

She walked over, threw her hockey puck on the table and screamed "Look, I have a hockey puck up my nose!!

You think it will be there forever?"

Yes, yes it will be there forever.

Perhaps you don't want that in your nose forever.

So I put her on the table, pushed her nose with my finger, put the shot in her mouth and kissed her.

Posted by @BillyRich77

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------

When i see you, imma push your shit back, boy
Nothing you do has been right, boy
Choppa get to spittin' through your set, we don't fight, boy
We gon' treat this bitch like a match how we strike, boy
Left his ass in the street, this the end of your life, boy
Last thing your ass hear, flashlight on this MAC spark
n****, you soft as hell, you just act hard
I'ma shoot this bitch, when I motherfuckin' see you
I don't go nowhere without my motherfuckin' heat, cool

When i see you, imma push your shit back, boy
Nothing you do has been right, boy
Choppa get to spittin' through your set, we don't fight, boy
We gon' treat this bitch like a match how we strike, boy
Left his ass in the street, this the end of your life, boy
Last thing your ass hear, flashlight on this MAC spark
n****, you soft as hell, you just act hard
I'ma shoot this bitch, when I motherfuckin' see you
I don't go nowhere without my motherfuckin' heat, cool


[Chorus 1]
Where we goin' man, I be in the car, she drive it
Where we goin' man, I be in the car, she drive it
Where we goin' man, I be in the car, she drive it
Where we goin' man, I be in the car, she drive it
Where we goin' man, I be in the car, she drive it
Back to the games, we have the car parked out
Mama drive my car
That bitch driving my car
She want to go to the mall, I'ma hit her, fuck yeah
That bitch, I be takin' that away, bitch
She wanna play, I'ma strip that pussy, she want it bad
Trying to show me somethin', I'ma show her somethin', bitch
She wanna keep it on, keep the pole on, she wanna keep it on
I'ma strip the pussy, bitch, strip that pussy
She gonna get that plastic but I be the real n****, bitch

[Verse 2]
You told me you was comin' back, man
That your band gon' kick ass tonight
What you do, well, I'ma try and play nice, n****
I hope you got a suit, n****, it's cold outside
Shit, we in the club, n****, n****, n****
Welp, I be takin' that shit, you and me, n****
That n****, I be takin' that shit, you and me, n****
If we keep gettin' in your car and smoking all up
That n****, I be takin' that shit, you and me, n****
If we keep gettin' in your car and smoking all up
We gon' take it to the strip, n****, n****, n****
We gon' take it to the strip, n****, n****
We gon' take it to the strip, n****, n****
The Big Daddy this, it that, n****
n****, it's time we show the white world what we really do, n****
You gon' do it, n****, n****, n****
You gon' do it, n****, n****, n****
You gon' do it, n****, n****, n****
You gon' do it?

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------

OK, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it? And yes, I'm giving it away. Remember. Share, share, shYare! And trolls, DON'T get BLOCKED!
OK, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it? And yes, I'm giving it away. Remember. Share, share, shYare! And trolls, DON'T get BLOCKED!

I'll be playing Fortnite, bachelorette style for the rest of the evening and hopefully into tomorrow, too.

TL;DR:

1. get my bachelorette party paid off by winning a $19 Fortnite V-bucks card (win

2.get to pay off wedding and honeymoon bills

3.get to buy myself a little gift (thanks for reading)

[image: a-z:follow @paperkk]

[/image: a-z:follow @paperkk]

[image: z-z@y]

Thanks,

Paper K-K!

[UPDATE]

In case you haven't seen it yet, I won this Fortnite card. Thanks for the likes and retweets! My bachelorette party will be paid for!

[link: ] http://imgur .com/a/wVMKH

Now on to the Twitter:

4. This used to be my Twitter handle for awhile, until my real twitter handle got taken away for being a real d*ckbag.

5. I have a child and two dogs and a friend who has a child and a dog and a friend who has a child and a friend who is having a child... And a friend who has a spouse with a child. So, I'm pretty much the least of their problems, all in all.

[image: z-z@y]

[/image: z-z@y]

Individually, all of these have helped me through my adulthood, but not nearly enough. That's why they have to be together and shack up under my roof, writing about stuff here.

[image: a-z@y]

[/image: a-z@y]

[image: y@y@y]

[/image: y@y@y]

[/image: a-z@y]

[image: a-z@y@y]

[/image: a-z@y@y]

[image: z-z@y@y]

[/image: z-z@y@y]

[image: a-z@y@y]

[/image: a-z@y@y]

[image: z-z@y@y]

https://m.imgur.com/a/wVMKH

https://m.imgur.com/a/X0bVu

https://m.imgur.com/a/UCQFg

https://m.imgur.com/a/Ti7UU

https://m.imgur.com/a/FURCK

https://m.imgur.com/a/nQPCC

https://m.imgur.com/a/5wTmM

https://m.imgur.com/a/7aPML

https://m.imgur.com/a/cRFJZ

https://m.imgur.com/a/kWZQGM

https://m.imgur.com/a/nTSaBm

https://m.imgur.com/a/Y2BEj

https://m.imgur.com/a/vPPvZC

https://m.imgur.com/a/eLJBV

https://m.imgur.com/a/wdGtK
 
Last edited by Vila_,

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