How do you talk to a girl?

[leonmagnus99]

I don't see why someone would feel this obligation to bend over backwards for another.

been there before, sad thing is when you love someone so much you will want to go to any lenghts for them.
i did and it was a mistake because the girl broke up eventually because 'i was not good enough'

i was not 'mature enough'
i did not 'give her the amount of attention' she needed/asked for.

i will try to do the apply to this "It's at that point where ties are cut" to cut them ties when something like that happened again.

well , guess alot of us folks have been through different kinds of shet, just gotta take this XP with us for the 'next' time.
life goes on.

 

[WeedZ]

well , guess alot of us folks have been through different kinds of shet, just gotta take this XP with us for the 'next' time.
life goes on.

 

[Deleted-401606]

I'm starting to believe that a woman hurt you, and now you hold a resentment against all females. You can express yourself emotionally. If you're worried about being judged for it, you should consider surrounding yourself with different people. If you want a change in your life you have to be that change.

As far as @Quantumcat 's post, you're not seeing the forest for the trees. Her point wasn't to compare being female to being a rich male. Her point was not knowing if someone is really interested in you or just pretending to be interested for something petty. Tits and money are petty. But you already know that. You purposefully ignored her point to take another jab at women. If you plan on having any sort of healthy relationship ever, you have to let that anger go.

It has nothing to do with bitterness against women. It has to do with understanding human nature,if the situation was reversed I guarantee you men would be taking advantage. In fact before the feminism movement in the 60s,men where at a huge advantage since almost everyone got a wife and they wouldn't get divorced because of the social stigma attached.@weedz It's rather annoying to have you keep putting words in my mouth when I have never said such thing,you were the first person on this entire thread to refer to women as sluts and yet you stated that I said that.

@WeedZ you are just defending the circle jerk,how can you possibly know what quantomcats meant? You are just like most people on forum that suck up to any woman regardless of the situation,in fact you in particular are a pretty big brown noser on gbatemp. Every single thing you post on the temp is an attempt to get others here to like you or to earn likes. I already cooked you in any argument you had in this thread and your only recourse left was to start changing the premise of the argument and to start accusing me of saying things that never once came out of my mouth.

@Quantumcat compared her situation as a woman to that of a rich man,I am starting to think as if you are struggling reading weedz. This is the 3rd time now that I have had to get on your case about putting words in other peoples mouths. I know EXACTLY what quantumcat meant by her post. I read it myself,and I honestly don't need you trying to be an armchair psychologist,I could easily start making assumptions about you and your life. Maybe I would assume that since you are so keen on defending female users at all cost,you never had much success with the ladies since it is very common for men that have zero success with women to use brown nosing as a technique to hopefully win favor one day.I can also come to the conclusion that you require external validation in order to regulate your emotional state,I say this only because you seem to dedicate every single post on here towards getting some sort of positive reaction.I can keep going on about all the assumptions I can make from reading your post,but the point is that at the end of the day they are nothing but assumptions.

 

[Kioku]

It has nothing to do with bitterness against women. It has to do with understanding human nature,if the situation was reversed I guarantee you men would be taking advantage. In fact before the feminism movement in the 60s,men where at a huge advantage since almost everyone got a wife and they wouldn't get divorced because of the social stigma attached.@weedz It's rather annoying to have you keep putting words in my mouth when I have never said such thing,you were the first person on this entire thread to refer to women as sluts and yet you stated that I said that.

@WeedZ you are just defending the circle jerk,how can you possibly know what quantomcats meant? You are just like most people on forum that suck up to any woman regardless of the situation,in fact you in particular are a pretty big brown noser on gbatemp. Every single thing you post on the temp is an attempt to get others here to like you or to earn likes. I already cooked you in any argument you had in this thread and your only recourse left was to start changing the premise of the argument and to start accusing me of saying things that never once came out of my mouth.

@Quantumcat compared her situation as a woman to that of a rich man,I am starting to think as if you are struggling reading weedz. This is the 3rd time now that I have had to get on your case about putting words in other peoples mouths. I know EXACTLY what quantumcat meant by her post. I read it myself,and I honestly don't need you trying to be an armchair psychologist,I could easily start making assumptions about you and your life. Maybe I would assume that since you are so keen on defending female users at all cost,you never had much success with the ladies since it is very common for men that have zero success with women to use brown nosing as a technique to hopefully win favor one day.I can also come to the conclusion that you require external validation in order to regulate your emotional state,I say this only because you seem to dedicate every single post on here towards getting some sort of positive reaction.I can keep going on about all the assumptions I can make from reading your post,but the point is that at the end of the day they are nothing but assumptions.

Man with money =/= Rich man. Your reading comprehension needs some work.

Imagine you have a bit of money. Not rich but not struggling.

 

[Cyan]

please, let's not fight each others for nothing.
we all have different view on the situation, each based on our own experience.

 

[ThoD]

been there before, sad thing is when you love someone so much you will want to go to any lenghts for them.
i did and it was a mistake because the girl broke up eventually because 'i was not good enough'

i was not 'mature enough'
i did not 'give her the amount of attention' she needed/asked for.

i will try to do the apply to this "It's at that point where ties are cut" to cut them ties when something like that happened again.

well , guess alot of us folks have been through different kinds of shet, just gotta take this XP with us for the 'next' time.
life goes on.

Same here, only about 10 times worse and I've even had some do the whole "it's not you, it's me" bullshit drivel or "you are too good for me, I don't deserve you, bye" and that crap! If anything, it's people like that who aren't mature, they don't even know what it means to do your best to make your partner happy, most only want someone working their ass off to make them happy but is still willing to ditch them for whatever deal comes passing by...

I agree about the "next time" thing though, you've learned your lesson, so now you won't screw up that badly by trying to salvage a crumbling relationship. Although there will come the time you meet that one person you'll never be able to get over.

 

[Kioku]

Same here, only about 10 times worse and I've even had some do the whole "it's not you, it's me" bullshit drivel or "you are too good for me, I don't deserve you, bye" and that crap! If anything, it's people like that who aren't mature, they don't even know what it means to do your best to make your partner happy, most only want someone working their ass off to make them happy but is still willing to ditch them for whatever deal comes passing by...

I agree about the "next time" thing though, you've learned your lesson, so now you won't screw up that badly by trying to salvage a crumbling relationship. Although there will come the time you meet that one person you'll never be able to get over.

My first relationship (I've only been in two) ended when I was told that I was "clingy" and that it wouldn't work. The sad reality is that she believed I was holding her back from partying and all of this other generic shit. She then dated roughly 5 people within the 8 month period we didn't talk. When we started talking again I noticed she was with an abusive mental case of a boyfriend. Oh well. It was a high school relationship and those hardly end well enough.

 

[WeedZ]

It has nothing to do with bitterness against women. It has to do with understanding human nature,if the situation was reversed I guarantee you men would be taking advantage. In fact before the feminism movement in the 60s,men where at a huge advantage since almost everyone got a wife and they wouldn't get divorced because of the social stigma attached.@weedz It's rather annoying to have you keep putting words in my mouth when I have never said such thing,you were the first person on this entire thread to refer to women as sluts and yet you stated that I said that.

@WeedZ you are just defending the circle jerk,how can you possibly know what quantomcats meant? You are just like most people on forum that suck up to any woman regardless of the situation,in fact you in particular are a pretty big brown noser on gbatemp. Every single thing you post on the temp is an attempt to get others here to like you or to earn likes. I already cooked you in any argument you had in this thread and your only recourse left was to start changing the premise of the argument and to start accusing me of saying things that never once came out of my mouth.

@Quantumcat compared her situation as a woman to that of a rich man,I am starting to think as if you are struggling reading weedz. This is the 3rd time now that I have had to get on your case about putting words in other peoples mouths. I know EXACTLY what quantumcat meant by her post. I read it myself,and I honestly don't need you trying to be an armchair psychologist,I could easily start making assumptions about you and your life. Maybe I would assume that since you are so keen on defending female users at all cost,you never had much success with the ladies since it is very common for men that have zero success with women to use brown nosing as a technique to hopefully win favor one day.I can also come to the conclusion that you require external validation in order to regulate your emotional state,I say this only because you seem to dedicate every single post on here towards getting some sort of positive reaction.I can keep going on about all the assumptions I can make from reading your post,but the point is that at the end of the day they are nothing but assumptions.

I'm not defending anything. I have my perspective and I'm pointing out what I think is wrong with yours. I have no emotional investment here. If I cared about being liked I wouldn't tell people they were fucktards every other day. I'm also not in agreement with @Quantumcat because she's a chick, I thought her post was insightful, then you ruined it with the same rhetoric you've been spewing throughout this thread. Now until this point I've been trying to understand why you have the views you have, which is more than most members here are willing to do.

I'm not putting words in your mouth, I'm piecing together the things you say trying to deduce what your trying to convey. I feel you have a bad perspective on the dynamic of relationships. I may have overstepped by making assumptions as to why, but I wasn't trying to be an armchair therapist. If I've misinterpreted, then tell me what you actually meant.

I don't think women are heartless people that treat men unfairly. I think there are just people and some of them happen to be assholes, gender regardless. You can make all the assumptions you want about me based on that. It makes no difference. I'm just trying to get you to chill enough to see another perspective. A less cynical and angry one.

 

[ThoD]

My first relationship (I've only been in two) ended when I was told that I was "clingy" and that it wouldn't work. The sad reality is that she believed I was holding her back from partying and all of this other generic shit. She then dated roughly 5 people within the 8 month period we didn't talk. When we started talking again I noticed she was with an abusive mental case of a boyfriend. Oh well. It was a high school relationship and those hardly end well enough.

I know what you mean, has happened to me a lot. True, I was against letting her just do the stupid college-type party stuff because I'm against letting other men even get close enough to touch my woman, but if it was a regular thing like going out to a club or something, I wouldn't object. I AM clingy and for a reason, I don't want dudes around my woman, as I want her all for myself. Others mind it, others are fine. Oh well, that's life. I just can't stand seeing women act all slutty, it's not sexy and it's just annoying, I love women as women and try to respect them, but when I see them lower themselves to scum, I can't stand it and want to make sure that whatever woman I'm with doesn't do such things. Call me boring and weird, but that's me...

 

[Kioku]

I know what you mean, has happened to me a lot. True, I was against letting her just do the stupid college-type party stuff because I'm against letting other men even get close enough to touch my woman, but if it was a regular thing like going out to a club or something, I wouldn't object. I AM clingy and for a reason, I don't want dudes around my woman, as I want her all for myself. Others mind it, others are fine. Oh well, that's life. I just can't stand seeing women act all slutty, it's not sexy and it's just annoying, I love women as women and try to respect them, but when I see them lower themselves to scum, I can't stand it and want to make sure that whatever woman I'm with doesn't do such things. Call me boring and weird, but that's me...

It's a common theme that's often misconstrued and labeled as "sexism". Oof. To add to that, men can be just as "below the belt" with their guilty pleasure.

 

[ThoD]

It's a common theme that's often misconstrued and labeled as "sexism". Oof. To add to that, men can be just as "below the belt" with their guilty pleasure.

I know, I've been called sexist by idiots (I am but in a good sense)...

Last relationship I had was almost perfect, it was the young generation's fickleness that ruined everything though

 

[Deleted-401606]

Man with money =/= Rich man. Your reading comprehension needs some work.

Memoir nobody was talking to you to be fair,I am sure quantum can speak for herself.She doesn't need you to defend her perspective,I assure you females are just as intelligent as males.So we are in disagreement over the semantics in the post you quoted. However your post offered absolutely nothing to the discussion and I find it immature that people here continue with this "circle jerk" culture. We have a group of people like @WeedZ and many others who I won't name,that post on this forum with the sole intention of getting positive emotional reinforcement. The internet guys that defend quantum just because she is a female further prove my previous statements in this thread. Even a female on the temp with no picture has beta orbiters/fans rolling out the red carpet for "m'lady".

 

[WeedZ]

Memoir nobody was talking to you to be fair,I am sure quantum can speak for herself.She doesn't need you to defend her perspective,I assure you females are just as intelligent as males.So we are in disagreement over the semantics in the post you quoted. However your post offered absolutely nothing to the discussion and I find it immature that people here continue with this "circle jerk" culture. We have a group of people like @WeedZ and many others who I won't name,that post on this forum with the sole intention of getting positive emotional reinforcement. The internet guys that defend quantum just because she is a female further prove my previous statements in this thread. Even a female on the temp with no picture has beta orbiters/fans rolling out the red carpet for "m'lady".

Oh, the others you won't name lol. You obviously haven't read anything I posted. I'm just going to write you off as a fucktard and go about my business. Have fun blaming everyone else for your problems. Goodday m'lady.

 

[ThoD]

Memoir nobody was talking to you to be fair,I am sure quantum can speak for herself.She doesn't need you to defend her perspective,I assure you females are just as intelligent as males.So we are in disagreement over the semantics in the post you quoted. However your post offered absolutely nothing to the discussion and I find it immature that people here continue with this "circle jerk" culture. We have a group of people like @WeedZ and many others who I won't name,that post on this forum with the sole intention of getting positive emotional reinforcement. The internet guys that defend quantum just because she is a female further prove my previous statements in this thread. Even a female on the temp with no picture has beta orbiters/fans rolling out the red carpet for "m'lady".

In reality it's because what you've said in your posts has been mostly false and without any proper explanation, while implying a lot of things, then saying you didn't do it. On the other hand, her post had proper reasoning behind them and either explanations or came from obvious deductions.

 

[Monty Kensicle]

I met my current partner at a local cosplay/sci-fi/video game convention. I was Initially interested in her friend who seemed to be reciprocal, (Said my outfit was cute!) We started planing to hang out with each other and it kinda escalated from there.

I should preface that I asked to take their picture and the friend wanted my contact info so I could share the photo with them. We also talked about sewing and other things related to costume and prop making and that helped break the ice.

 

[leonmagnus99]

it's people like that who aren't mature

they are being hypocrites in a way.

Although there will come the time you meet that one person you'll never be able to get over.

the last ex of mine, will be too damn hard to get over.
i dont think i am over her, at times i think that i am, but in reality i am not.

just the thought of her still haunts me and well it kills me inside out.
it is our fault for feeling this way ,in this case my fault for feeling this way.

we need to be able to love ourselves first, put myself first.
i always put her first, on the pedestal.

with her only i am 'whole' that should not be how it works, we need to fill the void in our heart by our own somehow..

*sigh* oh well, hitting the gym has been the best thing for me personally, it helps me alot.
so i keep going and try to be consistent, if nothing goes right go lift haha.

and being in a relationship can be very stressful often times, there are times that i really miss /and times i really do not miss at all...
so much drama, so much bs and the list goes on.

and oh btw. cold showers help too, i take a medium hot shower first just to rinse my hair from cowashing (conditioning) and afterwards i just have (now winter) freezing cold water run down my body and it feels amazing.
helps me relax alot so i been taking my showers that way for over a month now, will make it a habit.

i stay under the cold for around 5 minutes only.
(if anyone tries this do not run it down your hair only Body and if you feel good then do it, but do not do it if your body starts shaking/you shiver etc. or if you feel uncomfortable and start to dance /or sing haha).

*sigh* alright too much talk -v-'

 

[Deleted-401606]

In reality it's because what you've said in your posts has been mostly false and without any proper explanation, while implying a lot of things, then saying you didn't do it. On the other hand, her post had proper reasoning behind them and either explanations or came from obvious deductions.

There was a proper explanation,I don't think you have read my posts in this thread to be honest with you. Her post was a subtle brag,my post provided fact and reasoning coupled with studies from a professional.

 

[Quantumcat]

There was a proper explanation,I don't think you have read my posts in this thread to be honest with you. Her post was a subtle brag,my post provided fact and reasoning coupled with studies from a professional.

You will have a much easier time if you don't treat women as anything different. Example the story above of meeting his partner at a sci fi convention. He could have either a) been scared to approach at all because they were female, or b) approached but used a corny pickup line or similar, which would put them off (being females at a comic con type event they'd be used to that and annoyed by it), or c) just say your costumes are cool can I take a pic, with no intention of trying to ask them out, but getting the contact details and getting to know them at a later date. He ended up getting along with one well and going out with her. If they were guys it could have gone the exact same way but he would have just met a new best buddy instead.
So, it's the opposite of what you think I was saying. Women are not special. If you treat them as special you will have less success, or if you do have success you'll end up going out with a lot of people who you don't end up getting along with and wasting your time.

 

[ThoD]

So, it's the opposite of what you think I was saying. Women are not special. If you treat them as special you will have less success, or if you do have success you'll end up going out with a lot of people who you don't end up getting along with and wasting your time.

To add a bit to this, nobody is special, be it women or men! What matters is getting to know someone and if they become special TO YOU, then that's what matters. I'll have to disagree that you should treat women exactly the same (it's my "sexism" or whatever), you can treat them a bit differently just fine. What's important is whether you treat them well and approach them in a way that's not about sex or wanting them, but casually.

 

[Glyptofane]

Be careful what you wish for. You'll end up losing all or most of your friends and barely have time for games anymore.