Unfortunately my friend is in trouble

[RodrigoDavy]

I have this old friend, we've known each other for 7 years. He never had a girlfriend before or anything, last year he found his first girlfriend in Tinder (yes, that iOS/Android app). The things is I'm 100% sure she's just with him just for the money. Since the first month of their relationship she's been asking him to move in with her and her mother.

Last month he moved in without telling their family or friends and we discovered it by accident. He's completely blind and I've been thinking about investigating her to prove she's a liar. I already noticed she tell lies to make her look innocent, dumb and dependent on others. She's also trying to isolate him from his family and friends.

The thing is, I don't know how to find any evidence against her. I wanted to find out who her relatives are, if she really doesn't know who her father is, her friends. If her mother is really unemployed and this sort of things. I don't want to waste any money on this because he's my best friend but not my family.

I know many of you will think I don't have the right, it's just that me and my friend been through a lot together. We made college together, we lived together a couple of years and we always trusted each other very much. I don't want my friend to turn into that sad stories that you tell to others to warn about some things in life. If anyone knows a way to help, I would be grateful. If nobody does, well... It was worth a try.

EDIT: I don't have her in my facebook friend's list and she hides her facebook information very well

 

[yuyuyup]

Your friend is toast, give up on that sinking ship

 

[grossaffe]

You should rummage through her trash and photograph her from the bushes.

 

[endoverend]

You should really not intervene at all in this situation. If your friend can find love in any way he can, good for him. Presenting something like this to him can get real bad real fast.

 

[RodrigoDavy]

You should really not intervene at all in this situation. If your friend can find love in any way he can, good for him. Presenting something like this to him can get real bad real fast.

He doesn't mind me intervening. (Seriously, I already accused her of being a liar (not in front of her, just to him) and he didn't mind. He just won't change his mind)
Your advice is really good and, to tell the truth, I wish I could do that. It's just that he's like a brother to me and I just can't let this shit keep going without trying to do anything.

If he decides he doesn't want to be my friend, I think it's for the better anyway. Being his friend is making me suffer lately, it's just that I just can't give up on him yet

 

[Epultia]

Wow, what a total bitch! I would totally investigate if I were you

 

[Digital.One.Entity]

Google that bitch......something is bound to pop up



If not hire a Private Dick to dick her around and dig some dirt up

 

[HaloEffect17]

He doesn't mind me intervening. (Seriously, I already accused her of being a liar (not in front of her, just to him) and he didn't mind. He just won't change his mind)
Your advice is really good and, to tell the truth, I wish I could do that. It's just that he's like a brother to me and I just can't let this shit keep going without trying to do anything.

If he decides he doesn't want to be my friend, I think it's for the better anyway. Being his friend is making me suffer lately, it's just that I just can't give up on him yet

I am kind of on middle ground with this one. How about giving your friend some more time? Besides, something more incriminating against her could miraculously come up and then, it would be a good time to intervene with some hard evidence.

 

[RodrigoDavy]

Google that bitch......something is bound to pop up



If not hire a Private Dick to dick her around and dig some dirt up

I tried Google and I did managed to find her address, phone number and resumé. Unfortunately, that's all I managed to find and took me some amount of effort to do so. I was hoping there was some trick to get more information in this digital age, but unfortunately it's not so trivial.

I am kind of on middle ground with this one. How about giving your friend some more time? Besides, something more incriminating against her could miraculously come up and then, it would be a good time to intervene with some hard evidence.

I think your advice is very wise. Well, I am actually going to meet with him tomorrow to talk. I am not sure what to talk myself though, and the fact that she tries to control him every second she can combined with how blind he is make it very difficult for an incriminating miracle to happen. Well, let's hope for the best anyway!

 

[Digital.One.Entity]

Her Resume could say a lot about her in fact maybe something useful....


Anyway hopefully your friend understands your trying to help & lookout for him in the best way possible and always remind him...


Pimps' Up Hoes' Down

 

[RustInPeace]

He's completely blind

You mean that literally? His vision is gone? Tinder always seems like a hookup thing, a one night stand app. I'm no expert at all, but have you confronted the woman? The only experience is with someone who used to be my best friend, in a relationship with a girl. They argued and I literally cried for them to make up. In hindsight, it's embarrassing, and I don't even remember why they argued. She never took advantage of him, I mean, he was poor. I don't think they were compatible, both are outcasts for different reasons, and have different personalities.

One has the experience to hate society, the friend. One just hates for the sake of it, the woman. After that incident, I just let him do their stuff, only 3 months later did they break up. So I guess in your situation, let it play out. Sounds like the woman is content using the man. I'm trying to think of a movie example, and the only thing that comes to mind is The Room. It's hilarious, but this isn't a funny situation.

But if taking it seriously, the story ended with the guy killing himself because he knew he and his future wife were over. What he should've done is leave, and that's something he had to decide on by himself. Can't be forced to leave by the way. Just stay a bit player in this situation, until things heat up. I suspect it will.

 

[RodrigoDavy]

You mean that literally? His vision is gone? Tinder always seems like a hookup thing, a one night stand app. I'm no expert at all, but have you confronted the woman? The only experience is with someone who used to be my best friend, in a relationship with a girl. They argued and I literally cried for them to make up. In hindsight, it's embarrassing, and I don't even remember why they argued. She never took advantage of him, I mean, he was poor. I don't think they were compatible, both are outcasts for different reasons, and have different personalities.

One has the experience to hate society, the friend. One just hates for the sake of it, the woman. After that incident, I just let him do their stuff, only 3 months later did they break up. So I guess in your situation, let it play out. Sounds like the woman is content using the man. I'm trying to think of a movie example, and the only thing that comes to mind is The Room. It's hilarious, but this isn't a funny situation.

But if taking it seriously, the story ended with the guy killing himself because he knew he and his future wife were over. What he should've done is leave, and that's something he had to decide on by himself. Can't be forced to leave by the way. Just stay a bit player in this situation, until things heat up. I suspect it will.

Completely blinded by love. Not sure if this expression exists in English, but he's not actually blind. (Although he's short sighted lol)

I confronted her once, and it severely affected my friendship with the guy, although things got better. She is certainly trying to take advantage of him though, if she really cared about him she would stop this madness. They have no reason to live together, they're not going to marry or anything. Yet, she encouraged him to move with her and her mother without his family knowing. And now that his family knows, she encouraged him to continue living with her even though he had already decided to move out. She also always makes him pay for everything and makes him drive her everywhere

 

[Digital.One.Entity]

Also if this is his first taste of the Tang' then you in a heap of trouble my Lad


First timers always get hit the hardest and it be difficult to convince em otherwise

 

[RodrigoDavy]

Also if this is his first taste of the Tang' then you in a heap of trouble my Lad


First timers always get hit the hardest and it be difficult to convince em otherwise

It is... hahahaha

 

[Hells Malice]

Do you have any actual proof she's lying or are you just getting jealous of the time he's spending with her and not you?
Wanting him to move in with her and her mother isn't really a criminal offense. If you like someone, you logically want to be around them more. Him not telling anyone could very well be his fault unless you have proof it isn't.

Same with the whole "she makes him buy things and drive her" comment, do you know she MADE him, or HE did it and she was fine with it?

Quite honestly, based on all you've said so far, you're the crazy one.

 

[Demifiend]

Ok dude, if you really want to "save" your friend, in some way or other (I prefer to let people experience the pain, 'cause they decided that, but well) you need a strategy, and not any kind of strategy like "social" mangas where everything is according to the plan, no, in real life everything can happen, everything, even absurd things can happen, so you have to take that into some consideration.

You're assuming that the person who is possibly lying to your friend is a greedy bastard, right?, something that greedy and selfish bastards have in common it's that mostly they aren't smart, at all, they'll do anything to find pieces of paper with a $ on it, so, the only way you can possibly save your friend it's exploiting the enemy weakness (Like in a videogame), to put it simple, you need to bait her, and bait her, to a trap, you don't need to know everything about that person in specific, you just need her to tell the truth, in some way or another, and how can you do that?.

You said that you won't expend any coin for your friend, but i suggest you a recorder, that's all you'll need, now, you'll probably say: "Aja, i'm gonna use that recorder to record something bad about my friend, and show that to everybody, right?" not exactly, you can do that, but, for the long run, it's the most useless solution since, that buddy of yours can return with her anytime after that, so, instead of doing that, you must record and write every single word into a paper, trust me, that information it's a MUST, since the only way to describe a person it's by the voice, and some parts of the physical.

Now that you have all the information in a piece of paper, the records, and the experience to know who is she by deduction, you can now begin the operation, from this point onwards, there are 2 ways to do it, the long part or the short part, i prefer the long part for the most, how you can do it, easy, invite your friend and his crush to a meeting, party, any kind of thing, begin to talk about everything in the life and this is where you start to bait her, convince her that you are in some way or another rich or that you have loads of money, she will be taking interest, and compare what she has done to others with a person of your imagination, she will be pissed and scaried, since someone actually knew about how is she her.

You must keep doing that until she get pissed at you without any reason at all, because you didn't talked about her, present the evidence (records of her voice) and you've won the match, since she didn't expect that, from this point, the only judge here it's your friend, he will decide the best option from now, the second option that it's the short part, it's simply showing all the evidence to your buddy quickly, but that it's risky, and a greater chance to fuck all, so, stick with the long part in my humble opinion, remember, exploit and deduct, those are your best weapons.

Since you have played Ace Attorney, you'll understand some of the aspects i said, right?

 

[RodrigoDavy]

Do you have any actual proof she's lying or are you just getting jealous of the time he's spending with her and not you?
Wanting him to move in with her and her mother isn't really a criminal offense. If you like someone, you logically want to be around them more. Him not telling anyone could very well be his fault unless you have proof it isn't.

Same with the whole "she makes him buy things and drive her" comment, do you know she MADE him, or HE did it and she was fine with it?

Quite honestly, based on all you've said so far, you're the crazy one.

It's a bit complicated story. I do have some good evidence and motif to say what I'm saying, but I really don't want to reveal my friend's personal life in detail on the internet. There's a chance I really am the crazy one here too. So I won't blame anyone thinking that, I am just trying to help my friend though...

Since you have played Ace Attorney, you'll understand some of the aspects i said, right?

I guess you're right! The opportunity to play Ace Attorney in real life does sound fun!

 

[jpx86]

You mean that literally? His vision is gone? ....

lol - I thought the same thing. I was imagining the poor guy being blind and they were trying to get whatever benefit money he would be getting.

Also if this is his first taste of the Tang' then you in a heap of trouble my Lad

First timers always get hit the hardest and it be difficult to convince em otherwise

Pretty much this.

You said he even found her on Tinder. If he went to look her up on Tinder, then he probably already knows, but he's blinded by first love. You can try to talk to him, but sounds like you already know that you can't get through to him. Even if you hired a PI, and had the smoking gun... he'd probably fall for some reason like she gave him to explain the Tinder profile. Eventually, he'll get fed up with it. It will work itself out.

Oh, and there is a chance she's not up to anything. lol