Can you really aim too high in love?

[Arizato]

Been having a rather interesting discussion with one of my friend on Skype today. We were discussing love and if you can have too high expectations from a girl/guy you want to spend your life with.

I started off the discussion with creating this person who has some kind of limitation which hinders him/her from going too far away from home. He/She lives in a small town with a few other people his/her age. This person is longing for someone to love, but no one in this town really fits him/her. He/She finally decides to create a fictional being consisting of all the things he/she is looking for in a partner. From that day on this person spends a few minutes imagining of things that could be with this fictional character just to satisfy his or her needs, not sexual mind you. Just the feeling of being close to someone you truly love, even if it is artifical.

My friend thought that this person was a coward who was afraid of getting hurt while at the same time creating a fictional character because he or she had too high expectations from a potential partner.

I'm divided on the matter however: If this person really is happy with this fictional character then what makes him or her wrong? But at the same time I can understand that this person may become separated from reality. But is it really wrong to have high expectations from someone you want to spend your life with? Isn't this person wasting his/her and their partners time if he/she lowers their expectations to reach out to a wider group of potential partners?

What do you tempers think about this?

tl;dr: Is there such a thing as too high expectations in love? Is being in love with a fictional character wrong? Is there really someone out there for everyone?

 

[BORTZ]

Yes you can aim too high. You dont meet "perfect" looking girls from the cover of COSMOPOLITAN mag, not because you just arent looking hard enough, but because they literally dont exist. Thats how you end up an old maid lol

Fictional characters, again yes. Mostly because they dont exist, and I think that might lead to mental issues.

No, I really dont buy into that school of thought. I honestly think that less people should get married. Or whatever, especially with the amount of divorces traumatizing children and wrecking homes.

 

[Black-Ice]

Yes, you really can.
If you shoot above your goal, you wont ever score.

And on the subject of loving fictional characters, well...its not "wrong" its just very sad and a few religious extremists would attempt to cleanse you.

 

[Arizato]

Yes you can aim too high. You dont meet "perfect" looking girls from the cover of COSMOPOLITAN mag, not because you just arent looking hard enough, but because they literally dont exist. Thats how you end up an old maid lol

Just to make it clear I didn't actually think about looks, but rather how this potential partner acts or thinks in general. Let's say this person is looking for many rare personality traits in one person.

 

[BORTZ]

Just to make it clear I didn't actually think about looks, but rather how this potential partner acts or thinks in general. Let's say this person is looking for many rare personality traits in one person.

Im sorry if im coming off harshly, thats not my intent. I am voicing my opinion, not trying to condemn you or your friend.

I understand the idea of wanting someone with rare or difficult to find traits, I just used appearance as an example. But again, i feel like you can aim too high and no one like the can possibly exist. Even if they did, you would have to take the good with the bad as well. The might have traits you certainly dont want, or arent ready to deal with if you have such a lofty view of who they should be. You cant put people on pedestals.

Another inherent issue is that you have to hold yourself to the same standards. If you are a "free thinking" idealistic neck bearded fedora, I'm sorry you arent going to score jennifer Lawrence with your views and "superior intellect".

 

[Lacius]

Settling down means settling for.

 

[DinohScene]

No one is perfect.
Just have to deal with it and get on with it.

None of me exes where perfect, they all had flaws, some had major flaws >_>
But hey, I had a great time with em.

 

[Arizato]

Im sorry if im coming off harshly, thats not my intent. I am voicing my opinion, not trying to condemn you or your friend.

I understand the idea of wanting someone with rare or difficult to find traits, I just used appearance as an example. But again, i feel like you can aim too high and no one like the can possibly exist. Even if they did, you would have to take the good with the bad as well. The might have traits you certainly dont want, or arent ready to deal with if you have such a lofty view of who they should be. You cant put people on pedestals.

Another inherent issue is that you have to hold yourself to the same standards. If you are a "free thinking" idealistic neck bearded fedora, I'm sorry you arent going to score jennifer Lawrence with your views and "superior intellect".

Don't worry about it! No offense taken. Just wanted to clarify since the original post probably doesn't make it clear what I'm trying to convey.

I wanted to spark discussion with this post after all. Most people portray love like something that will effect everyone positively in their lives, but I have doubts that applies to everyone. Which is why I started this thread. I find this to be a really interesting subject of discussion!

The neckbeard fedoras are the worst...

 

[The Catboy]

You can aim too high, no one is perfect and no one ever will be. You just learn love someone for everything, flaws and all.

 

[pwsincd]

My m8 always says .. lower your standards too improve your success rate... has a element of truth.. but then again why shouldnt you go for what you want.. personally speaking mr mrs is sexy as .. in my eyes .. maybe not yours.. but before all that shes fun and my mate.. so you can aim high in one respect and fall flat on your face in another... balance it all out.. and you can have all you want.