How To Avoid The Death Penalty

[Gahars]

After receiving the death penalty, most either appeal the system or make peace with their god. You know, taking the loser's way out.

But not Colorado inmate (and, presumably, former porn star) Ronald Post. If he couldn't fight his way out, he figured he'd do the next best thing: eat himself o his way out.

At about 450 pounds, Ohio death row inmate Ronald Post is so fat that his executioners won’t be able to find veins in his arms or legs for the lethal injection, and he might even break the death chamber gurney, his lawyers say.

If the state is forced to use a backup method that involves injecting the drugs directly into muscle, the process could require multiple doses over several hours or even days and result in a grueling and painful end, they say.

The Washington Post (no relation)

You know what they (i.e. no one, ever) say: More mass-ket for the eventual casket.

To accomplish his weighty goal, Post (artist's impression here) has gained more than 200 pounds while behind bars.

Now, sure, there are some out there who claim that this isn't a justifiable excuse, and that existing execution methods could still be used without causing undue pain. Others would argue that he shouldn't have been on death row to begin, and that execution doesn't match the scale of his (or, arguably, anyone's) crime.

Pfft! These innovators just can't appreciate a real man of genius.

So here's to you, Ronald Post, and your quest to prove that obesity can extend a person's lifespan. I salute you.

 

[Foxi4]

See, this is what happens when you choose only one option for a death penalty - if the law was more efficient as to cater to the inmate's specific needs, they could sever his spinal cord or just use whatcha-ma-call'it... a bullet to the head.

 

[BORTZ]

See, this is what happens when you choose only one option for a death penalty - if the law was more efficient as to cater to the inmate's specific needs, they could sever his spinal cord or just use whatcha-ma-call'it... a bullet to the head.

Im guessing you would want to use armor piercing rounds just to be safe.

 

[ouch123]

I find this interesting, but not humorous. Apparently, his weight gain was attributed to physical disability coupled with depression, though those could just be lies for litigation.
...
I probably shouldn't comment further, since this is the EoF though. Wouldn't want this to become a serious discussion, right?

 

[Gahars]

I find this interesting, but not humorous. Apparently, his weight gain was attributed to physical disability coupled with depression, though those could just be lies for litigation.

To be fair, this guy did kill another man in cold blood. That sort of erodes any sympathy I might have for his current plight.

 

[ouch123]

To be fair, this guy did kill another man in cold blood. That sort of erodes any sympathy I might have for his current plight.

I'm not arguing against that. Whether or not this man should be executed is another issue entirely. What bothers me is that rather than having a serious discussion about this man's situation and all that that entails (the moral/legal/practical issues of the death penalty, implications and repercussions if this man is not executed, etc.) we're here making fun of his obesity. That that is the initial reaction to hearing this story is what bothers me.

 

[nukeboy95]

give him a cake of poison

 

[Gahars]

I'm not arguing against that. Whether or not this man should be executed is another issue entirely. What bothers me is that rather than having a serious discussion about this man's situation and all that that entails (the moral/legal/practical issues of the death penalty, implications and repercussions if this man is not executed, etc.) we're here making fun of his obesity. That that is the initial reaction to hearing this story is what bothers me.

Unwarranted moralizing? In my EoF? It's more likely than you think.

Look, I'd love a serious discussion on the subject, absolutely, but there's a time and place for that, and the EoF is certainly not the place. It's okay to know when to laugh (or at least, chuckle a bit and shake your head) when a comically absurd situation like this comes around. And, this cannot be stressed enough, we are talking about a convicted murderer here; this is hardly a karmic fluke.

Don't worry, a little bit of schadenfreude is healthy. It may not be nice, but everybody does it...

 

[ouch123]

Unwarranted moralizing? In my EoF? It's more likely than you think.

Look, I'd love a serious discussion on the subject, absolutely, but there's a time and place for that, and the EoF is certainly not the place. It's okay to know when to laugh (or at least, chuckle a bit and shake your head) when a comically absurd situation like this comes around. And, this cannot be stressed enough, we are talking about a convicted murderer here; this is hardly a karmic fluke.

Don't worry, a little bit of schadenfreude is healthy. It may not be nice, but everybody does it...

I acknowledge that. To be honest, at first it didn't bother me. I even chuckled when I read Bortz's comment above. Yet, when I was commenting I realized I couldn't bring myself to make fun of this man not because he doesn't deserve it (though I don't think I have a right to say either way) but because I couldn't bring myself to make fun of someone purely because he's fat. His obesity is the sole reason why this story could possibly be viewed as comical. If I laugh, that would carry with it the implication that obesity itself is comical and that people who are obese can be laughed at for their obesity because their condition (and the mental/physical health problems associated with it) is comical.

Anyway, as I said earlier, I acknowledge that the EoF isn't the right place for a discussion like this, which is why I cut myself short in my first post. The point I was about to make with my first post was that his obesity had nothing to do with his crime, thus, making fun of his obesity would only make fun of his obesity, rather than being a commentary about the man himself or his sentence. I also acknowledge that my own objection with finding this story humorous despite its humorous presentation is a product of my personal sense of morality and as a result, other people may have no problem with finding humor in this situation whether it be because they deem the subject of mockey unworthy of such considerations and thus an exception (as is the case with you and many others I would suspect) or simply because they don't have a problem with laughing at the obese in general (also quite common, sadly). I can understand and respect that, but this being posted in the EoF carried with it the connotation that there was no real discussion to be had. From your point of view, this would make sense, as I believe you intended to primarily make fun of his attempts to avoid execution rather than the fact that he was morbidly obese. Nevertheless, whilst reading this post I found something I felt worth discussing, thus, our current predicament.

I also want to clarify that I'm not trying to preach or lecture here (though it may seem otherwise by curse of the death of the author), but rather that I merely want to make my thinking clear so as to avoid any (further?) misunderstanding.

 

[Guild McCommunist]

I hope we all should realize he didn't just get Fatty-itus and suddenly got obese. He took the time and effort to gain weight and become fat. It's his own fucking fault he's fat.

On top of that, he's a convicted murderer. This guy deserves exactly zero ounces of respect.

 

[Gahars]

You do realize that there is a world of difference between "laughing at obesity" and "laughing at a convicted murderer who has possibly become too obese to execute," right?

I mean, I'm usually not one to tell people they're looking too much into something... but you're looking too much into this.

And again, it's not that I want to avoid discussion, it's just that this isn't the proper place; you wouldn't debate religion in a Chuck E. Cheese Men's Room, and you probably shouldn't have a serious discussion on the merits of capital punishment or the obesity epidemic in a sub-forum where a quarter of the posts are "No", "Penis", or some variation on "I beg you don't cry."

If you wanted to discuss either subject, the General Off-Topic Chat would be the best fit.

 

[BORTZ]

debate religion in a Chuck E. Cheese Men's Room

I need to rethink my life

 

[Foxi4]

(...) And again, it's not that I want to avoid discussion, it's just that this isn't the proper place; you wouldn't debate religion in a Chuck E. Cheese Men's Room, and you probably shouldn't have a serious discussion on the merits of capital punishment or the obesity epidemic in a sub-forum where a quarter of the posts are "No", "Penis", or some variation on "I beg you don't cry."

I beg you, do not eat penis. ;O;

 

[Flame]

no puns on this PUNishment


and Gahars, I beg you don't cry.

 

[ouch123]

You do realize that there is a world of difference between "laughing at obesity" and "laughing at a convicted murderer who has possibly become too obese to execute," right?

I mean, I'm usually not one to tell people they're looking too much into something... but you're looking too much into this.

And again, it's not that I want to avoid discussion, it's just that this isn't the proper place; you wouldn't debate religion in a Chuck E. Cheese Men's Room, and you probably shouldn't have a serious discussion on the merits of capital punishment or the obesity epidemic in a sub-forum where a quarter of the posts are "No", "Penis", or some variation on "I beg you don't cry."

If you wanted to discuss either subject, the General Off-Topic Chat would be the best fit.

Yeah, I know there's a difference. I guess it bothered me that we probably wouldn't have found the story (as?) amusing if he was avoiding capital punishment by a claim of low IQ. Or something. Honestly, I have no idea why this ended up bothering me so much, but you're definitely right that I'm overthinking it. And overthinking things is an easy way to kill humor it would seem.

 

[Engert]

The most "humane" way to die is Nitrogen asphyxiation. The details are in a NOVA episode but it’s basically like experiencing High G forces and being happy while passing out.

 

[Vulpes Abnocto]

The most "humane" way to die is Nitrogen asphyxiation.

Yet the most fun way would be a euthanasia roller coaster.



"Hey Bill, He's still alive!"
"Well send him through again!"

 

[Engert]

You kidding me? With a background music of jean michel jarre, who wouldn't do it?