Living at home

[Icealote]

Is it really a big deal living home when you're in your early twenties?
I get this strange look or a pause when I answer people "Yes I do. I live with my parents and siblings." They go oh... I go I'm the youngest and it gets awkward so the change of subject arises.
Maybe because I'm from an Asian background where its not really a big deal. My parents love having us stay at home. I don't intend to stay at home forever either. I'm still living here as I pretty much screwed up after high school doing odd jobs just to pay for my college fees and my own living. I pay for the groceries although not the all of the other bills yet since my brother and sister cover that.
I also live in a very large house and one of my sisters moved out couple years back and it already feels empty. The next sister will move out soon but she's hardly ever home so its pretty quiet most of the time.

So are you guys in similar situations or am I in the minority?

 

[BORTZ]

I just graduated and im back with my parents for now.

 

[ShadowSoldier]

Fuck no. People who make a deal out of it are the people who watched too much Saved By The Bell when they were in school.

I'm 23, I live at home. My friends are also 22/23/24, they all live at home as well. I'm not saying it's the best, but in this world this day, it's pretty much damn near impossible to be living on your own.

 

[snakepliskin2334]

same here 24 years old still living at home untill i make enough money to buy a home for my self
but the bitch of it is they want me to start paying rent soon i mean im not a money hog or anything but im helping them while i have a job and when they need help i help them with no problem parents i mean so isnt that payment enough ?!

 

[yuyuyup]

I'm extremely ashamed of myself for living at my Mom's house

 

[The Catboy]

Money is hard nowadays, honestly people need to do whatever they can do to get by. It really I think it all matter about the circumstances, these days it's just too expensive to not live at home.
I lived at home up until last year, now I live with my boyfriend at his mom's place till we get the money for our place.

 

[FAST6191]

I have looked at this wherever I have been when running around and it seems to something of a function of where you live although family culture might mean something as well for some with the USA being among the most inclined to kick kids out of the house as soon as is reasonably possible/attach a stigma to not doing as such. For what it is worth pretty much wherever you go the rental market sucks (for most single person incomes you might end up with a studio flat if you are lucky) unless you can spring for a mansion with a few friends. This said finding a group of friends that are certain to have a guaranteed level of income for the duration of the rental agreement or replacing one should they have to vanish.... not a trick I can pull off and most of my associates have some desirable skills with potential incomes to match.
Actually buying a house in most places or even a flat*... just buying a plot of land in the sticks is hard enough and every fool and their donkey is trying for a "fixer upper" to say nothing of trying to cut through the paperwork/requirements and I truly feel for those living in the USA where they actually truly care about credit scores (had various family and friends move there and then spending a year gaming the credit system to get things done despite flawless credit elsewhere and serious capital behind them).

*rule of thumb for me is unless the flat is in an appropriate location in New York, London or Tokyo with a reasonable amount of time on a lease do not buy a flat.

I have probably mentioned it before but the one that really confuses me though (and to be fair it does seem to be things on TV) is where people might look down on friends and family for crashing with them when they are on a holiday/passing through instead of getting a hotel.

This said should it ever come up in conversation it is usually a red flag that the person is probably not going to be able to put up an interesting conversation, same with "what do you do for a living?" and if they do not know what to do when you not provide your name ("Hi I'm ?" "Hi, nice to meet you").

 

[Cyan]

It's more and more common in my country that people live at their parent's home longer.
Mainly because of financial reason.

It's hard to find a place to live alone, you usually need to first find a boyfriend/girlfriend to be able to pay for a tiny flat.

When it doesn't go well and people divorce, they often "go back to their parents". That's more awkward that never leaving home in my opinion, but it's the hard reality of financial crisis
It happens for old people too, I see a lot of 40+ telling me that they live (because they went back) at their parent's home (I'm working in administration, and I see a lot of people).
Parents hoped that once you move, it's for good, they are at last free from caring for you.


Some people just leave home at 20, while others are still doing studies and leave later (24-26).
You need a financially stable situation to leave, or a required situation (going away to study).


but, you are not a strange one.
If someone strange here, it's me
I'm 34 and still living at my parent's home.
They wished I was dependent though, but financially it's not easy, unless I change the living's region, but I don't want to.

They understand it's hard financially, and in fact it's even hard for them so I'm helping them too. If I leave, they might have more difficulty


It's a little taboo to live at home in conversation.
It's even more when dating someone lol : You live at your parent's ? ahh not acceptable !
But without dating, and finding someone else, you can't leave your parents...
it's like you can't find a job without past job's experiences... haha

In France, they even made a movie about it, called Tanguy.
At the end, they show that it's "normal" to be at home for asian people, and that it just depend on the country you are living to decide if it's taboo or a cultural aspects of families. (Damn, I spoiled it! )

This first name "Tanguy" is now even a (not official) word by himself in France.
People living at their's parent's home at late age are called "Tanguy"s ;o
"My son is a Tanguy", etc.

 

[Icealote]

lol calling myself "tangy" may come across wrong if you thinking what I'm thinking immature jokes aside

Wow that's reassuring. That's what was on my mind. I already know its financially difficult go and get your own place. I do understand the fact that some families prefer their children out the door after their tertiary studies. I'm still doing college and working part time. Saving is very difficult. I don't even think I'd be getting much tax return

I talk to a lot of older people from bigger companies because of my job working at a promotional company (its those logos and taglines you see on your mugs, pens, shirts, etc). I get this look (or that "oh..." response) and they direct the next part of the conversation that I don't have the motivation drive to be more independent as they did. Some reactions are like "OMG you are at home and AT that AGE?!" and the other reactions is like I'm someone from a third world country and the conversation shifts into talking to me like I'm an idiot. Seriously? The beep is wrong with some people. Just don't get some people o.O They must have some ego overload. At times people can be so condescending or they are completely ignorant because of social status/class differences.

I completely agree, when this topic comes into the conversation, heaven help us all, you answer them knowing its going to end up in awkward silences.

Now that you mentioned when it comes to dating LOL Good grief, I hope its more of the norm when I decide again to go into that field haha

I never look down or differently when older people tell me they still live at home. At that time I already knew living standards were becoming difficult because a family friend whos like almost 40 has never left home even though he's financially well, pays everything at home since his parents are really old, he travels because of work a lot also there's no point (as he told me) to waste money on a place he won't even be in for long. Though it was odd he never had a girlfriend til recently lol

 

[emigre]

Well I have a Bengali background where living with your parents until marriage is the norm. And I'm my parents' only son so I'm the one who looks after them in old age. So yeah, cultural norms sorta dictate what I do in that respect. I can't say I'm terribly fussed about people judging me for living at home. So I'm pretty similar to your whole cultural values.

From a wider and general point of view, I can't understand why someone would think negatively of someone living with their parents. In Britain (well parts of Britain), the housing marking is a complete fucking mess, even before the financial crisis. House prices are a fucking joke with rents being a just as abhorrent. Unless you're making an obscene amount of money, no mere mortal in their twenties to early thirities is going to be a position to buy a house in a handful of years. And rent prices aren't too dissimilar to the amount you'd spend on a fucking mortgage. You may as well just live at home, contribute to bills and save the remaining money for a deposit on a house.

 

[CrimzonEyed]

I'm 21 and still live at home too.
It's a bit embarrassing since I'm the oldest of the children and still haven't found a place to live.
It's Me and two other siblings, one being 18 and the other being 10, mother and her partner, sharing on a somewhat small flat.
Are going to move when I get a full-time employment (which is really hard over here for young people)

 

[pyromaniac123]

Don't most people live in a home anyway.

 

[The Pi]

It's financial beneficial to stay at home, so why the hell not? Rent is terrible here and getting a mortgage is pretty hard without a decent job and a large enough deposit. And anyway, the people who do look down on people who still live at home tend to be those with a crap job living in a crappy flat or still have good ol' mummy and daddy paying everything for them (which is pretty hypocritical as far as I'm concerned).

As for myself, I'll probably just stay at home for uni and then afterwards until I have enough for a deposit for my own house. Although there is a chance I'll be going down to England for uni if everything works out in my favour but I'll still end up back home until I'm on my feet financially.

 

[CrimzonEyed]

Don't most people live in a home anyway.

 

[FAST6191]

I talk to a lot of older people from bigger companies because of my job working at a promotional company (its those logos and taglines you see on your mugs, pens, shirts, etc). I get this look (or that "oh..." response) and they direct the next part of the conversation that I don't have the motivation drive to be more independent as they did. Some reactions are like "OMG you are at home and AT that AGE?!" and the other reactions is like I'm someone from a third world country and the conversation shifts into talking to me like I'm an idiot. Seriously? The beep is wrong with some people. Just don't get some people o.O They must have some ego overload. At times people can be so condescending or they are completely ignorant because of social status/class differences.

If you intend to continue playing the marketing game there are two abilities worth having
1) The ability to lie
2) The ability to direct a conversation (better if you are not OK with lying) or lead people to a conclusion- spent a night in a hotel for work (or in general)? If so then "hotel rooms, company flats and such are my gig right now", "life at present is a series of hotel rooms" or "if I can avoid seeing another hotel room for a while it will be a good thing" the latter of which may well not be a lie in the slightest and those that give a damn will usually fill in the blanks as "travelling salesman". Bonus is if you are actually doing something like that and your parents are not likely to move having them as a registered address is usually a good idea anyway (paying for a PO box is a pain and less than ideal for some things much less renting somewhere you never really see).

It sounds somewhat like people are doing 2) on you and as such indirectly questioning your company/services; it is a variation on trusting a mechanic without a car or trusting a skinny chef for whilst marketing is not looked upon with great affection nobody will give the time of day to an unassertive/unmotivated marketing type.

 

[jalaneme]

i know someone who is 29 and lives with her parents, she works full time and wants to leave her parents but she can't afford it, i'm 29 and have my own place, i must be in the majority, i wouldn't know what to do if i had to go and live with my mother, especially with the way money is atm and the economy, money is hard to come by.

imo people are better off living with their parents, you don't have to pay rent, food, and others expensive and you get your parents cooking for you too, can't go wrong with that.

 

[retKHAAAN]

When I was 17 I moved in to my uncle's house to house-sit for him while he was in Iraq (shortly after 9/11). He returned a year later and told me he was getting married and that I needed to move out. Was going to go back to my parents house but they had already redistributed the bedrooms... So, at 18 I had to head out on my own. Worked two jobs for a couple years and went to school. Met a girl and we got an apartment together. Lived there for a year while saving every penny we could and bought a small house (I hate the idea of paying every month for something you don't own...). And now, 8 years later, we're moving into a nice house, in a nice neighborhood and will be renting out our old house to turn a bit of a profit there.

There's nothing wrong with staying home as long as you can. But if you're willing to put in the work and the time, you can move out whenever you feel like it (or whenever your family decides to give your room away ).

 

[dickfour]

I'm in my 30's and moved back home for a while when I left my girlfriend. I took my name off the lease, left the car, and in less than six hours I was back in my childhood bedroom with my cat playing video games, and getting a home cooked meal. I loved every minute of it.

 

[pyromaniac123]

I'm in my 30's and moved back home for a while when I left my girlfriend. I took my name off the lease, left the car, and in less than six hours I was back in my childhood bedroom with my cat playing video games, and getting a home cooked meal. I loved every minute of it.

Your cat could play video games?

 

[dickfour]

I'm in my 30's and moved back home for a while when I left my girlfriend. I took my name off the lease, left the car, and in less than six hours I was back in my childhood bedroom with my cat playing video games, and getting a home cooked meal. I loved every minute of it.

Your cat could play video games?

He can type on a keyboard too