When friends cross the "friend zone"

[Deleted member 473940]

Hey guys
Well, I wasnt sure if this belongs to blog, but I guess its more of a general offtopic discussion!?

I have been friends with this girl for A WHILE.. almost 10 years now. She moved to Reading, so we werent in contact.
Since I had a girlfriend, I generally wasnt in contact with other girls, apart from REALLY close friends, and this girl isnt that close to me anymore lol.

We have been talking the last few months and ya, somehow our conversations and the way we act towards each other crossed the "friend" zone. Flirting, good morning texts, texting all day whenever possible etc etc.

My most recent break up hurt me more than ever before and I dont feel ready to jump into anything at the moment.
But, shes coming to london for a few days, reason being my birthday lol. Shes coming the day after my birthday and we are gonna be together for a few days.

Now how do I approach this? What stuff to do with her anyway ? She wont be in london forever, so obviously I wanna make her time her the best possible .

Do you guys think that friends should be more than that at some point? I dont know.. generally the girls I have always dated or been in a relationship with wasnt close friends, we developed as we dated lol.

(PS: CANT WAIT FOR MY BIRTHDAY ! ANYONE WANNA MEET UP ON TUESDAY?)

 

[Devin]

Spoiler

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE SEXY, SEX AREN'T

YOU? YOU SLY DOG. I KNOW WHAT YOU

MEAN BY "ROD" IN YOUR USERNAME.

 

[Deleted member 473940]

Spoiler

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE SEXY, SEX AREN'T

YOU? YOU SLY DOG. I KNOW WHAT YOU

MEAN BY "ROD" IN YOUR USERNAME.

LOOOOOL, Paarish calls me pornstar and now this -.- hahahahaha

 

[EyeZ]

Don't meet up with anything pre-planned, let the meet up take it's own course.

Just be yourself.

 

[Deleted member 473940]

I am not planning anything sexual if thats what you refered to .
I meant like, where to take her, what places to go to and things like that.
Shes into musicals, so of course I will take her but more suggestions?

I been living in london, so everything is just common to me i wanna make it unique and special for me

 

[Cyan]

I think it's more bloggy topic but maybe it's a good debate here

I have a friend (girl) whom I know since 2001.
I met her on a chat room in internet, and we talk everyday since then. We are ALWAYS connected to the same IRC channel 24/7, so it's not extraordinary to send "good morning" texts, and talking about everything doesn't make it "cross the line".
We are very closed friend as we can talk about any subject.

We finally met for the first time after 8 years of chatting. We where very shy and didn't talk much
It never meant to be more than friends, but even friendly it didn't really went well in fact.

We stayed friend, but online
We are still chatting every days like always. It's easier to talk over internet.


So, don't try to push things.
See what happens and act depending on what you think is appropriate.

Most importantly thing to do : Talk to her, ask her opinion and give yours.
that's the key to friendship.


With my friend, we didn't talk, and it went bad as no one dare/venture to tell what was wrong and it ended that we couldn't support each others in a week.
An example : We though that each other wanted to "go visiting towns around her home" as it was the first time for me going in that region, so we did and planed some visits, while few days later we talked about it and found that none of us really care to see towns.

 

[Deleted member 473940]

I think it's more bloggy topic but maybe it's a good debate here

I have a friend (girl) whom I know since 2001.
I met her on a chat room in internet, and we talk everyday since then. We are ALWAYS connected to the same IRC channel 24/7, so it's not extraordinary to send "good morning" texts, and talking about everything doesn't make it "cross the line".
We are very closed friend as we can talk about any subject.

We finally met for the first time after 8 years of chatting. We where very shy and didn't talk much
It never meant to be more than friends, but even friendly it didn't really went well in fact.

We stayed friend, but online
We are still chatting every days like always. It's easier to talk over internet.


So, don't try to push things.
See what happens and act depending on what you think is appropriate.

Most importantly thing to do : Talk to her
that's the key to friendship.


With my friend, we didn't talk, and it went bad as no one dare/venture to tell what was wrong and it ended that we couldn't support each others in a week.
An example : We though that each other wanted to "go visiting towns around her home" so we did and planed some visits, while few days later we talked about it and found that none of us really care to see towns.

I understand what you are saying
Well, I am not planning on anything dodgy lol.
She said she had a crush on me back in the days, and you know how it goes when the conversation gets too open

My plan is to make her stay in london a good experience . but the thing is, I go out and went out so much in london, that everything is too common for me. I just cant think whats good, whats bad, whats special lol.

1 thing I know I will do is take her to the musical Wicked

 

[NightsOwl]

"Should friends eventually be more than just friends?"

That didn't work out well for me. Liked a girl for 6 years. Dated her for one of those 6. Nothing really happened. Turned out she didn't really like me when we dated, and little to say, we're not friends anymore.

Be absolutely sure she likes you back before you get too clingy or annoying with it. Kinda important, unless you wanna lose a friend.

 

[Cyan]

Well, for me who never went to London, I would be interested to see the bridge, and the Queen's palace, and ... that's all I know from England

Then what's representative to London are the red double-floor bus. Maybe take the bus one time to do the town's visit.

 

[Deleted member 473940]

"Should friends eventually be more than just friends?"

That didn't work out well for me. Liked a girl for 6 years. Dated her for one of those 6. Nothing really happened. Turned out she didn't really like me when we dated, and little to say, we're not friends anymore.

Be absolutely sure she likes you back before you get too clingy or annoying with it. Kinda important, unless you wanna lose a friend.

I will make sure . I am not even sure if I am into her lol. Thanks for the info though

Well, for me who never went to London, I would be interested to see the bridge, and the Queen's palace, and ... that's all I know from England

Then what's representative to London are the red double-floor bus. Maybe take the bus one time to do the town's visit.

She grew up in london so those places arent really new to her. But I guess those still are high profile places around here.
We would have to use public transport anyway so she will be on the "double-floor bus" hahahaha

Any restaurant, other place suggestions?

 

[emigre]

Considering you have horrendous taste in women, I say no.

If only to save the forum from a blog where you crywank...again.

 

[Wizerzak]

I am not planning anything sexual if thats what you refered to .
I meant like, where to take her, what places to go to and things like that.
Shes into musicals, so of course I will take her but more suggestions?

I been living in london, so everything is just common to me i wanna make it unique and special for me

Oooh, which musical? I'd recommend Blood Brothers, it's amazing, by far the best I've seen in the West End, kinda sad though so might ruin the atmosphere between you.

 

[Deleted member 473940]

Considering you have horrendous taste in women, I say no.

If only to save the forum from a blog where you crywank...again.

I havent written shitty blogs forever keeping the shit for myself lol.

I am not planning anything sexual if thats what you refered to .
I meant like, where to take her, what places to go to and things like that.
Shes into musicals, so of course I will take her but more suggestions?

I been living in london, so everything is just common to me i wanna make it unique and special for me

Oooh, which musical? I'd recommend Blood Brothers, it's amazing, by far the best I've seen in the West End, kinda sad though so might ruin the atmosphere between you.

I was thinking of Wicked or Lion King if its on. hey sad things get you emotional haha is it really that good?

 

[Wizerzak]

Considering you have horrendous taste in women, I say no.

If only to save the forum from a blog where you crywank...again.

I havent written shitty blogs forever keeping the shit for myself lol.

I am not planning anything sexual if thats what you refered to .
I meant like, where to take her, what places to go to and things like that.
Shes into musicals, so of course I will take her but more suggestions?

I been living in london, so everything is just common to me i wanna make it unique and special for me

Oooh, which musical? I'd recommend Blood Brothers, it's amazing, by far the best I've seen in the West End, kinda sad though so might ruin the atmosphere between you.

I was thinking of Wicked or Lion King if its on. hey sad things get you emotional haha is it really that good?

I've seen Lion King, that's also a really good one (very bright and colourful and the costumes are amazing (Zazu the parrot is also portrayed brilliantly), and I've heard Wicked is also good (but tbh you can't really go wrong with West End shows ). Blood Brothers has a different sorta atmosphere to it; the theatre is much smaller and there are less special effects, amazing costumes etc. but this is made up for in the superb acting and emotional storyline.

Out of the three though I think Wicked's probably a safe bet, I've never seen it but my cousin (18 year old girl) says it's brilliant and I've heard lots of good things about it.

 

[Deleted member 473940]

I guess I got more options to choose from
Blood Brothers sounds interesting

 

[chavosaur]

Wicked is a must, its a great play.
To answer your question, I went into a relationship with a girl that was my best friend for a little while. We already knew each other so well, so things clicked easily. We dated for a year and a half, and the only reason we broke up is because she moved away, and i wouldn't subject her to the pain of long distance :/
My point is, being with a girl that was/is your friend, makes for a stronger relationship. You can easily bond. You become even closer than you already were. If I were you, consider casually pursuing something. Flirt a little more, see where it leads, and if it works it works! And if not, you'll still have that friendship.
On my last note, that girl i described was also a recent breakup. And it hurt. And i can understand not wanting to jump into something so soon. But when you feel a happiness with someone, and you feel like a good connection is there, it makes you forget about all the bad stuff that happened, and you feel like she's your cure? Theres no denying you ought to pursue it

 

[Deleted member 473940]

Wicked is a must, its a great play.
To answer your question, I went into a relationship with a girl that was my best friend for a little while. We already knew each other so well, so things clicked easily. We dated for a year and a half, and the only reason we broke up is because she moved away, and i wouldn't subject her to the pain of long distance :/
My point is, being with a girl that was/is your friend, makes for a stronger relationship. You can easily bond. You become even closer than you already were. If I were you, consider casually pursuing something. Flirt a little more, see where it leads, and if it works it works! And if not, you'll still have that friendship.
On my last note, that girl i described was also a recent breakup. And it hurt. And i can understand not wanting to jump into something so soon. But when you feel a happiness with someone, and you feel like a good connection is there, it makes you forget about all the bad stuff that happened, and you feel like she's your cure? Theres no denying you ought to pursue it

Nicely said my friend .
My most recent break up with Sara was so deadly painful. We ended with words and simple argument.. which evolved into unimaginable use of words and actions. She has been happily dating other guys and I tried apologizing for my wrong parts, but she doesnt give a damn. She will never admit her mistakes . So i figured, its not worth waiting around for her anymore.

Regarding wicked, I got no negative comments on that so far haha.

 

[BORTZ]

Considering you have horrendous taste in women, I say no.

If only to save the forum from a blog where you crywank...again.

lol we have blogs for a reason.

 

[Deleted member 473940]

Blogs are for whining and personal shit
if you dont like it, no ones forcing you to read my blogs lol.

 

[Blood Fetish]

Next week's forecast has a 90% chance of weiner touching with precipitation.