tldr; fuck this movie it’s overrated and it’s lame and if you like it then let’s not be friends, ever.
So I used to watch a shit-ton of anime when I was around 14/15 years old. I know that makes me kind of gay or whatever but fuck that, I just was just in it for the “plot”,
Catch my drift?
I watched only the cringey ones though, like High School DxD and Code Geass and stuff.
Whenever I talked about anime with someone who didn’t know much about it; they would always reference the Miyazaki films.
The Miyazaki films are basically anime movies that are directed by the same guy, so fancy that.
So I looked it up on rotten tomatoes to see what score they got and apparently his top rated movie was at 98%, and it was called “Spirited Away”.
With a rating like that, how can I resist?
I watched it.
I studied it.
I fucking hated it.
For starters, there’s no conflict.
Even in the shittiest anime I’ve ever seen there’s some basic level of drama or thrill, but in this movie, the most thrilling the movie gets is when the weird faceless guy kills some dude (for no fucking reason).
All the rest of the fucking movie is the least bit entertaining.
The movie is pretty artsy, sure, but none of it has any weight to it.
There’s dragons and monsters and shit but no actual symbolism or sign of any deeper meaning.
It’s like looking at a bunch of still life paintings.
They’re pretty, sure, but have no deeper meaning or reason to remember or think about them.
There’s no conflict, plot, or even that kind of “plot”, just artsy fartsy little pictures all lined up in a row.
The big fucking twist in the movie is when the ninja boy reveals that he’s some Jesus of some fucking lake or some shit that nobody fucking cares about, what a shock!
Also chehero (or whatever her fucking name is) returns to reality at the end and her parents are completely fine and have no memory of her little acid trip she was on the whole movie, give me a break.
In short, if you still like this movie despite all of this, let’s not be friends, ever.
We’ll go our separate ways, and you can watch all the shitty movies you want and I’ll keep watching my eechi anime.
And then, we can both be happy.
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