My dad bought a Pac-Man arcade machine

Chary By Chary, Nov 26, 2020 26 38

  • Neither of my parents have been what you could consider "gamers". My dad has only ever played video games at the behest of kid-Chary desperately wanting a P2 for Super Smash Bros, while my mom stood in line for the launch day of Sonic 2 on the Genesis, loved it to death, and then promptly never cared about video games again. (Except for animal crossing)

    So it was quite a surprise when my mom and dad excitedly told me that they had purchased an arcade cabinet as an early Christmas present for themselves. One of those cutesy Arcade1Up ones, with 6 games. Apparently, they'd both really loved the idea of being able to play a video game without having to turn on a "really confusing game system and have to select one from the menu". Which, honestly, I think they just were having a lot of trouble with pointing the Wiimote at the TV and pressing "Animal Crossing". That, or the poor Wiimote ran out of batteries and they totally forgot to replace them.

    Regardless, the Pac-Man machine arrived, and we spent the night before Thanksgiving setting it up. Meaning, my mom and I set it up, while my dad would occasionally hand me the screwdriver, so that he could pretend he was totally helping. The second it was ready to be plugged in, my parents were already fighting over who could play first. My dad decided in the end that ladies go first, but I think he just realized the longer they stayed in stalemate arguing, the longer it would take for anyone to play. Her first move was to immediately run Pac-Man face first into a ghost.

    Mom: Oh no! The ghost guy got me!
    Dad: Well, maybe if you played better you would have won.

    Which I can only assume is the snarky boomer version of "git gud scrub".

    Dad: Okay, is my turn now. I am Pac-Man champion, just watch!

    Our reigning champion proceeds to stick Pac-Man in the corner.

    Dad: See, the ghosts can't get me if I hide! Then ghosts go away.

    Somehow, the ghosts see through my dad's genius ploy. So, his next great plan is...to run into them. To which he's very confused as to why Pac-Man can't beat them. I tell him to he needs to get the little pellets so that he can win.

    Dad: So is Pac-Man bird?
    Me: ...what?
    Dad: He's eating all these bird seeds, so he must be bird.

    His bird-headcannons are further reinforced when fruit appears, and he runs into it, because "Birds eat fruit! Pac-Man is bird. Fruit is good".

    Me: Dad, did you know people used to have to pay quarters to play this every time they lost?
    Dad: Every time? The Pac-Man must have made millions, no, billiards of dollars!

    So, after a few rounds, we all say goodnight. Until I wake up, late at night, only to hear Pac-Man noises in the living room. My dad is sitting there, glasses on, chair pulled up to the cabinet. He'd apparently been playing all night, practicing, trying to break my mom's score.

    A high score of 5,000.

    After half a night, and through the help of my coaching, my dad finally gets to complete the first level of Pac-Man.

    Dad: Oh! Oh! I won! I beat the whole game! See, I told you I am champion!
    Dad: Wait what's happening? Why is there another?
    Dad: There is more?! Why is there more!

    To his horror, Pac-Man isn't just one single level. So, now he's on a mission. A mission to beat level 2 of Pac-Man, so that he may find further terror when he realizes there's even a level 3.

    Maybe, one day, he'll even reach a level 4.
    paltasex, cearp, ry755 and 35 others like this.
    26 Reply

    26 Comments

  • AmandaRose
    AmandaRose
    As always whenever I need cheering up Chary pops up with another story about the most amazing man alive. Chary your dad is a legend and I hope you know how lucky you are to have him as your dad and thank you for another hilarious and wonderful tale.
    Nov 26, 2020
  • x65943
    x65943
    Your dad loves birds so much he has started to see them in everything he does :rofl:
    Nov 26, 2020
  • Foxi4
    Foxi4
    PAC-MAN HAS DIFFERENT LEVELS?!?!
    Nov 26, 2020
  • smileyhead
    smileyhead
    Not quite. It's just the same level, but faster. I believe the game can go up to level 256 before it crashes.
    Nov 26, 2020
  • FAST6191
    FAST6191
    Technically he was not wrong
    https://www.howtogeek.com/109815/pac-man-hiding-spot-makes-high-scores-a-snap/
    Nov 26, 2020
  • Shadowfied
    Shadowfied
    Chary family blog posts, truly the highlights of the years, thanks for yet another laugh!
    Nov 26, 2020
  • Chary
    Chary
    @FAST6191 oh my gosh, my dad was right, he is the Pac-Man master! ;O;
    Nov 26, 2020
  • JuanMena
    JuanMena
    Aw ♥️

    Ms. Pac-Man on the SNES is the best retro Pac-Man.
    But if you feel like trying something more contemporary, I've had an awesome time playing Championship Edition DX+
    You guys will definitely love it.
    Nov 26, 2020
  • SANIC
    SANIC
    I wanted the Marvel Vs Capcom one, but that one is super expensive

    I understand how you father feels about this kinda stuff. My dad can't even read English, so playing a simple game like pac-man gives him so much joy.
    Nov 26, 2020
  • azoreseuropa
    azoreseuropa
    So cute. Your parents deserve to be like a children. Let them be happy and joy with old fashion arcade coin games like Pac Man. My parents loved Atari 2600 Pac Man a long time ago. Maybe I should get one for them so they can enjoy it even more.
    Nov 26, 2020
  • Silent_Gunner
    Silent_Gunner
    @smileyhead And here's that Kill Screen in action:

    So, fun story about two Midwest Gaming Classics ago: Billy Mitchell himself was at the event. This was, I believe, the second or third year the event was held in a much better building than the hotel complex that it used to be in. Anyways, I did see his skills live at Pac-Man. He was doing some sort of trick to get the ghosts to "merge" into one so he could have the whole level to himself. I tried to sort of record the guy at the time, but it wasn't a good recording, as a bunch of people were watching him. There's this guy's recording before everyone started piling in:



    Another one of him playing Donkey Kong:



    I remember seeing him talking to guys in this arcade room on the first main day of the event, and I remember running to my brother and kind of sort of play-punching him in the back to get his attention and letting him know that Billy Mitchell was there, and he was like, "yeah, I saw him!" and everything.

    I wonder if I show up in the footage in any of the videos recorded on YT...
    Nov 26, 2020
  • Memoir
    Memoir
    Your dad is such a donut. I love it.
    Nov 26, 2020
  • banjo2
    banjo2
    can't argue with that
    Nov 26, 2020
  • Nerdtendo
    Nerdtendo
    Chary's wholesome parent-conquer-gaming stories never fail to brighten my day. This should be a featured article series on the site.
    Nov 26, 2020
  • Madridi
    Madridi
    Is this exaggerated a bit? Cause if it’s not, that has to be the most fun a person can ever have in a house with such parents!
    Nov 26, 2020
  • Chary
    Chary
    They're all written word for word usually right after they happen :P which is why these dad-blogs tend to be so sporadic

    He is quite a fun dad to have!
    Nov 26, 2020
  • godreborn
    godreborn
    in the words of famed gamer avgn, "when I got to the bat in Castlevania 1, I thought it was Dracula. you've gotta understand, I was still trying to get used to games that consisted of more than one screen."
    Nov 26, 2020
  • Issac
    Issac
    Was he so impressed by the arcade quarter chomping that he changed to the long scale of counting? :o
    Nov 26, 2020
  • Adran_Marit
    Adran_Marit
    This is exactly what I wanted to wake up to, another wholesome chary dad story :D

    Now because you secretly coached your dad, you need to secretly coach your mum so she can beat level 1 :D
    Scott_pilgrim and Chary like this.
    Nov 26, 2020
  • JuanMena
    JuanMena
    I got curious about Fast's statements on hiding Pac-Man on one corner, so I played the game (Wii Mame2000) and not only doesn't work for me... but I'm unable to beat level 1...
    Not kidding... this is how you know you're old.
    Scott_pilgrim and Azerus_Kun like this.
    Nov 27, 2020
  • Azerus_Kun
    Azerus_Kun
    At least went better than when my dad asked me to play Doom 2016, i open the game, he doesnt know what to do, i try to explain him the FPS layout, i only could say "allright, put your right hand on the mouse, then, left middle finger resting on w..." before he said "this is too complex, can you make it so it controls like old doom?" to which i reply that i cant, he gets pissed off at me and leaves, i kinda admire his desire to go keyboard only, NFS3HP, Doom 1993, Quake, all keyboard only
    Scott_pilgrim likes this.
    Nov 27, 2020
  • HarvHouHacker
    HarvHouHacker
    I love reading stories like this one! Your parents are the best! :D
    Nov 28, 2020
  • The Real Jdbye
    The Real Jdbye
    In a way, I'm envious of your parents. It's like they're having their first experience playing videogames. I remember what my first time was like, and it was amazing.
    Scott_pilgrim, Azerus_Kun and Chary like this.
    Nov 28, 2020
  • Glitchdesu
    Glitchdesu
    I mean to be fair he wasn't wrong for thinking about going to the corner. XD In early iterations there was a flaw in the machines that allowed that sort of thing.
    Scott_pilgrim and Chary like this.
    Dec 1, 2020
  • eriol33
    eriol33
    there's a netflix documentary talking about the pacman craze. what a time to be alive during that time!
    Scott_pilgrim and Chary like this.
    Dec 1, 2020
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