Okay, so I found an old laptop in the basement in which I reside, and decided to use that instead of using the human's desktop and trying to hide. I not it up to find it had Windows 7 Ultimate 64-Bit with a bunch of bloatware so I decided to do a fresh install of Windows 7 with a free upgrade to Windows 10 (why not?) but it didn't work. I tried and tried again but it didn't work. None of the solutions online helped with my situation. Ubuntu was working though. I spent 3 days, and you know what the problem was? Windows didn't like that I was using dual channel memory on an Arrendale CPU. GYAAAAAAAAA! These mortal products are so confusing.
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