So yeah, blogs. I don't really use them commonly. But I do like writing, obviously, and I think this is one of those moments where I think enough stuff has happened as of late to warrant me just taking some time to just sit down and parse it all out. That way, I can look back a year later and cringe! That's the point of blogs, right?!
So where was I in life last time I did this? College prep and kittens...right? Things have been pretty wild since then! After my kitten passed, I actually developed a huge case of insomnia...I had, and I still have trouble sleeping. Sometimes I feel so tired, that I don't really have motivation to do anything. Other times, I would feel pumped up enough to read through multiple books in a day without stopping. It was tiring, mentally, not physically. I tried every trick in the book to sleep, but nothing was successful. Anyways, I can at least sleep for a few hours these days, so that's nice. But sometimes I just feel worn out.
I had a pretty bad bout with some self confidence issues lately, too. I was feeling pretty down about myself, just for some things, that in the end, were immaterial. But I still couldn't help but feel like I was getting crushed by all these things stacking up onto my head, or just falling and not being able to reach out.
Then placement exams came and hit me upside the head. And as I've said before, I was never the best student in recent times. But the time I've taken off to study and prepare paid off. All those years of skipping high school and another year consisting of me taking time off to find a career kinda hit my book smarts, a bit, I suppose. Not to say that I'm not intelligent, just that I wasn't really in a frame to properly throw myself into schoolwork again. And I had been pretty depressed, honestly, during that week, and some time surrounding it. But I picked myself up, and aced the tests, specifically English, which I was happy about! Math was middling per usual, but honestly, I expected worse!
After that, though, I had to deal with some pretty big changes to my daily life. Which irked me more than anything. Though, I don't regret it at all, now. A bunch of stupid chance coincidences led to me tripping and stumbling my way into being the happiest I've been in a while. This past month has been fantastic. Sometimes you need a slap to the face to realize things, and take a step back, and outside of your comfort zone, and escape from bad things. Of course. that might mean losing things you once thought important, but at the same time, you might realize that those things weren't worth reaching out to in the first place.
I quit out of my job, too. I couldn't justify the work for the pay, and honestly, I got exactly what I wanted from it, so I'm not sad. Content for a portfolio, and a nice recommendation for the future. So hooray! But now I've got some pretty sizable savings, and with my first two years of college being totally and completely paid for, I'm wondering what to do with it. I've found reason to save up for a goal, and the future, but then I notice, "hey, I'd love some nicer headphones." "Woah, look at the Switch!" "Oh man, my back hurts sitting in this chair, I should get an actual good one!" "Holy cow, I've been using this 3 dollar keyboard since 2001, and I'd love a new one!" And other such things.
Those events lead to me taking that happiness, and running with it. Nothing was going to come from me constantly feeling afraid of myself and the world around me. And thanks, to everyone in that little Discord server I cobbled together! Y'all seriously are great, and have helped cheer me up a lot <3 AND STOP WITH THE BOTS THO, WE'RE BREAKING REALITY. Really though, you're super cool, all of you.
With regards to games I've played this year, I actually haven't played many new things! Which is a bummer! But I'm playing Utawarerumono and Fire Emblem Echoes, and I'm liking both a lot! Kliff is definitely the most adorable teammate so far! Echoes might top out over Persona 5 for my PERSONA-L goty!!
Maybe by the time I finally wrap this up, the new episode of the podcast will be up! I'm having fun with recording it with the other staff, and I can't wait to do more episodes. Speaking of things that'll be happening, boy oh boy, it's almost time for E3! I'm so excited to go again! Seriously so thankful to Costello/T-hug/GBAtemp making it possible, and I hope the stuff I post will be good, and that everyone will enjoy it!
Also can we just take a moment to notice that Polygon is linking to my ban thread? I'm laughing so hard! they called me a "GBAtemp poster"! Yeah, I suppose I do occasionally, MAYBE post on GBAtemp from time to time! Hahaha!
Anyways, thanks for reading this ramble! That is, if you managed to force your way through all the words~! <3
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