So, in a society of gamers, it's almost become a habit to look at people as "gamer or "non-gamer". Now, if we assume that everyone is either one or the other, where does that put God? Gamer? Non-gamer? Here are my thoughts...
God created everything in 7 days6 days and rested on the 7th.
- Let's see Blizzard top that! He created the universe, light, some other junk, animal and plant life, and then us. Heck, Spore ain't got nothing on him. And then he took a day off. Like a boss.
God likes a character whose origins are like "WTF?!?"
- Y'know that guy Jesus? Yea, His son or something. God didn't go here, go all Simlish [talking bout simoleons and weather, LOL] and get a mate. Nope, He sent some winged dude to some untarnished chick and told her to bear His son. No muss, no fuss, no bother. Really devious, though. And people thought the whole "Link-Zelda stay the same every game" thing is devious... Huh.
God knows how to use spells/skeelz
- Y'know how in Sim City you can send a meteor to destroy your idiot citizens? In Black and White, too. God don't like people trying to get one up on Him. I mean, He made it flood for 40 days and 40 nights, gave Egypt 7 plagues or some crap, split a sea [and sent it crashing down on aforementioned Egyptians], etc etc.
God has a rival
- It's the true mark of a gamer. Competition always heats up things. God's greatest rival is this dude Lucifer IIRC, who didn't like Him being all boss and whatnot, and started a rebellion and some crap.
Can you say RESPAWN TIME?
- We go back to this guy Jesus. Dude got backstabbed, unjustly sentenced to the death penalty and then dies. Yea, so what does God do after He watches His son kick the bucket/buy the farm/bite the dust etc etc etc? He waits 3 DAYS to make him respawn. Damn.
He's a pacifist
- Admit it guys, gamers are non-pacifistic. Just look at the gamut of mindless shooter clones out there. God doesn't care about bloodshed as long as it doesn't concern Him [silly Egyptians]. He won't even twitch through two World Wars. Let the underlings fight it out, who gives a damn?
- Unless God's patience is longer than die-hard Duke Nukem fanboys, then we can be sure He ain't a gamer. I mean, He took His son away, right? And everyone's like "OOOh, let's wait for the second coming". Well, here we are folks, thousands of years later - still nothing. Sequel's never gonna come, by the looks of it. Face it, He doesn't care about a sequel.
So... What do you guys think?
Peace to all you hardcore Christians out there.
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