Im Back

Kaosu-Noko By Kaosu-Noko, Aug 7, 2011 5 0

  • I know I don't post here much, sorry I try to be an active member but other things have kept me pretty preoccupied. Anyways Back around...January i made a blog about a girl that I had liked (Or Loved?) and ever since then its been ups and downs with it. Anyways I'll TRY to keep this from being a TL;DR. But Who knows.

    Well shortly after the Blog i made...I never got a direct answer, it would always be dodged with a sort of...playful attitude. Later around Valentines Day she dated a friend of mine. As devastated as I was i continued on with a fake smile. Facing him and her together. Shortly after I got a new phone. I got her number, we texted and I found out she had pneumonia. I was there asking every morning if she was ok but ya know. Eventually him and her broke up. (They almost barely had anything in common) and in my head it seemed I was becoming more of a friend. but i was just imagining things. We communicated with trolling, each playfully taking shots at each other, while mines were kept at minimum her jokes came full force driving knives into my heart. But skipping forward (It gets better) In march I met a new girl. She added me on facebook after I 'Trolled' My best friends Ex-girlfriend (Not the girl I liked) and it was very amusing to all those who seen the post.

    Anyways I met her and we talked for a bit online and she asked for my number. We texted from time to time..I wasn't really into it...But we finally met at some kind of church gathering where other teens could hang out and stuff. And pretty much after that we texted almost non-stop. In the morning waking up for school then at night until we both fall asleep. Eventually after about a month i confessed that i had feelings for her but i subsequently still had a little feelings for the previous girl (I didnt tell her that). As time went on we gradually feel in love with each other and when summer came we feel even harder. We'd go to the movies and sometimes she would come over and as time went on so did our 'friendship' starting from hugs, to kisses on the cheek, then biting (the neck biting stuff) and eventually making out. We'd pull off all nighters on the phone and text more and more. And finally we both have fallen deeply...( i think) In love with each other.

    Im pretty sure she's sincere and most of my friends do too but every now and then I get a feeling of doubt. She uses the love word 'loosely' Meaning she said she love someone in a friendly way and considering she hangs out with mostly boys. It gets kinda... irritating hearing about another boy. (Not to mention she is Bisexual) Anyways Im sure that she means as friends and that she doesn't love them. We talked about a relationship but she wanted me to not love the other girl anymore. She wanted me to be sure of my emotions and sure of my love for her, Which is understandable. Im sure now and she no longer doubts me. But I have a few questions

    1.) Shes 14 turning 15 and October and I just turned 17 In june...Is that to big of an age diffrence?
    2.) I know shes kidding around but should I let her use the love word so loosely?
    3.) I Never ACTUALLY asked her out yet. and I wonder if that whats she waiting for. Im sure that if i asked she would say yes, but a discussion would ensue question my feelings for her beforehand.
    4.) I'm new to this, I never actually asked a girl out before...So I'm unsure on how to word it. Any Help? Lol

    But All in all thats been pretty much it. Things seems have been going well. Occasional ups and downs. Over all that time, Ima going to be a senior, I have a job, And I just got a Drivers permit. so from someone else's perspective I have no reason to really be depressed. but life gets you down. I believe this whole experience has changed me as a person, I've become more open because before hand I used to keep what I feel and how I thought to myself. In a way Im glad that other girl broke my heart. I felt it pushed me through that door of maturity i wanted to avoid. So yeah. Thats it. Looks like this became a TL;DR anyways.


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