I got home this morning after a long, but thankfully not so physically-demanding day at my job. Thing is, my current job, unlike my previous one at Walmart, is basically an hour drive there and back early in the morning, and by the time I get home, I'm usually exhausted, my back and legs tired, and my anxiety levels somewhat high since, at any time during this drive, I could have had a deer jump out in front of me and have that be the end of my car, something I'm trying to avoid until at least mid-November when I can get all of the money necessary to one shot all of the other three bills in my life in one fell swoop.
I figured, as opposed to staying up late, and relaxing, I'd go and try to start heading to bed immediately so I can definitely get more than the 4-5 hours of sleep that I've only been getting ever since the end of last month going into this month. So, I did what I described in the title.
I had some Mountain Dew from the vending machines a good 3.5 hours before the night was over. It's one of those drinks that, if you like the taste of it, mixed with the caffeine, it can be a good tasting drink that'll fuck your sleep schedule up like nothing else. I wish there was some way to take water and make it taste like Mountain Dew, because even if I was to forgo drinking Mountain Dew in lieu of something like Coca-Cola (which tastes good, but not, like, "my consciousness is expanding as I enter Hyper Mode" good), I'll come home tired.
Usually, I'd at least be sleeping at the time I'm typing this out because I'd stay up a good 3-4 hours after coming home due to that being a habit I could kind of get away with from my time at Walmart due to it being a lot closer than my current job, but if I keep this up, I fear something is gonna happen to me, either at the job, the highways I take to get to the job, or something else at the rate things are going. I already drink Mountain Dew for breakfast not because I want to, but because I'm trying to have something that will at least keep me awake for the drive to and from my job. I am enthused about going to the job, it's not like I'm necessarily dragging my feet to the place like how it could become with Walmart and college at times, but being awake and aware of what's going on is one of those things I'm so scared of losing atm.
All I'm trying to do at this point is to ensure nothing bad happens to my car for the next two and a half months, that I don't have a major medical emergency for the same period of time, and to ultimately survive at my job long enough to get out of this debt hole. After that, I can finally be free and wouldn't be on the potential receiving end of litigation due to not having money to pay for this shit if they decide to let me go for whatever reason.
After I do that, I'm gonna see if I can't find somewhere else closer to focus on building up my savings and to focus on getting out of the corrupt shithole that is Illinois. Even if you're for the Democrat party and more liberal policies, you should be in favor of having fair elections and not the political assrape from Cook County and Chicago that Illinoisans have endured ever since a bunch of Christian Prayer Warriors (what I like to call the right-wing SJWs, because they're the ones in favor of the more "Moral Guardian" BS on the right than anyone else is to speak from experience) went and prohibited alcohol without understanding the Streisand Effect (which IDK if that was even a thing in the 1920's and 1930's) of doing so with organized crime. But that's another story for another time.
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