• IRL meaning, hanging out with people in your local community, be it co-workers or childhood friends and maintaining some semblance of balance? I've tried to figure it out, but as someone who's just turned 25 a week and a half ago, I feel like an island when it comes to most interactions with people. Trying to talk to people in large groups at tables is kind of weird at work: they may talk for a little bit, and then its like they try to make conversations by turning to their phones and looking for something to show someone, be it some Pokemon thing (most of the people at my store who are gamers seem to be Nintendo fans, which is fine, but let's just say that I didn't grow up playing the N64 to the point of raving about how its the best system ever if that makes sense), or something to do with Fire Emblem, or even Smash Bros.. Out of all of these, the most experience I've had is with Smash, with Pokemon being only if a friend wanted to play Pokemon Stadium after I absolutely creamed them in Marvel Vs. Capcom 2, Street Fighter 3: Third Strike, or any Arc System Works game. Even then, a lot of my playtime with Smash was back on an actual Gamecube with Melee. I missed out on Brawl because I saw past the remote concept of the Wii and, with the limited income I had before mid-2016, didn't feel like it was worth the investment (and even getting Wiimotes + Nunchuks + maybe a Wii Zapper for Resident Evil Umbrella Chronicles/Darkside Chronicles is kind of pointless because of the problem I'm trying to discuss in this post). I played more of Smash 4 because I dug the gimmick of the Wii U and its games more, but honestly, considering how unwieldy the Gamepad was and the catalog of the Wii U games that wasn't put out by Nintendo or one of its second parties, I just didn't play much of it unless if I was at a friend's house.

    Come Smash Ultimate, and I play through the Spirits mode and every available character at launch's Classic mode...and that's about it. Sure, I make some custom mode profiles for when I want the stage to morph to another, high items with Stamina, regular item spawns with stocks, etc., but otherwise, knowing how the game is online, I haven't played it. I would have loved to play this a little bit and hang out with y'all on those Friday nights, but my second shift job said "nope" to that idea, and thus, I feel like I'm stranded on an island anytime when it comes to this game, which I find to be crazy because this is the Smash game with the most characters!

    I think part of the problem is that I've started to view Smash as more of a party fighting game than your typical 1-on-1 or tag-team vs. tag-team affair of your traditional tournament fighter like with Street Fighter, Marvel vs. Capcom, Dragon Ball Fighter Z, etc.. As in, you need to have multiple people, preferably in the same room, to get the most enjoyment out of the game. Seeing as how I don't have any friends, be it co-workers I see almost every other day of the week of whom I don't agree with everything on (i.e., just tonight, one of my co-workers was talking up how Ubisoft acts like they've changed their ways with WATCH_DOGS Legion (? as far as I'm concerned, it's WATCH_DOGS 3), that they're not going to cut the graphical fidelity of the game down to backport it to the PS4/WindowsBox One, that every NPC is recruitable, has their own storylines, doesn't respawn, has their own voice actor, and it's like I'm talking with someone who's autism is such that they've never learned how to control it or understand why others aren't as excited about the thing they're excited about. I personally am on the more Aspergian side of the spectrum, and of course am high-functioning, but it feels so odd to yours truly here to talk to people in this way.

    Not to mention, I just haven't played that many games from this generation. Like, the only single-player games from this generation that I'd consider to be a part of this generation (as in, it doesn't have a port on a previous generation console) that I can say I've beaten (not completed, because I'm not Jirard the Completionist) right off the top of my head are Super Mario Odyssey, Nier:Automata, RE2Make, Yakuza 6, and Yakuza Kiwami 2. And I didn't do so much for the games that started on 7th generation consoles, either! Most of my life, I was stuck with the Dreamcast/Gamecube as my latest system that didn't have disc problems like all of the silver PS2s I purchased or the one I was gifted a year after it was on sale in the aftermath of the PS3's and 360's release. Note that a lot of these problems could've been solved if a certain two people in my life didn't give 10% of their money that they didn't have a lot of to an organization that still doesn't give them much in actual, tangible returns to spend time with other than a community of people who secretly believe the same way Steven Anderson does even if their public image tries to make themselves look all friendly to outsiders who don't know better. But that's neither here nor there.

    It's as if asking someone about their job, what's going on in their life, how one's relationship is with someone else, you know, the typical friendly small talk someone in my situation wouldn't mind going into to start a conversation is even a concern. Not to mention, how many people just tune the world out by looking at a screen as opposed to a person when talking to them, or their putting in earbuds. Stuff like this is actually why I had some troubles with the girl that I want to believe is still interested in talking and possibly hanging out with yours truly a month or two ago: I've always been taught that people can say one thing verbally while communicating something else nonverbally about their desire to talk with someone else as someone who tries to conquer their Aspergian mannerisms that don't work with neurotypicals, especially with people of my parents' generation. Some of it might also have to do with mentality as well: I am 25, and a lot of the people in this "nerd club" in my department at work are still in college at or around age 22-23, making Youtube videos and/or talking about Youtube creators and, today, about COPPA and I'm just over here like: "Dude, hasn't the last 6 years told you anything about Youtube? It's time to jump ship, make your own website for your content like what James Rolfe did with Cinemassacre, and take control of everything in regards to distribution, how users can access your work, the type of content you make and how you make it, etc.." Hell, they're just more involved in social media in general with stuff like Snapchat which I question the point of myself. So you're taking a bunch of pictures with a bunch of filters that make you look cute, crazy, or that turn your head into a screamer/dragon breathing fire or some shit?

    Last, but not least, their attitudes about things can be rotten at times. I know, everyone has different backgrounds from which they come, and unfortunately, some are rougher than others. I get that. But acting like, "OK, Boomer" is such a *pardon the dead meme use* SAVAGE CHAD THUG LIFE response to your elders just bothers me in how little self-awareness the attitude implies about how long they expect to live, and their expectations about life and relationships with their families and, assuming they plan on having their own biological children in the future, how they expect their actions, attitudes, opinions, and philosophies about how to treat others to not come back to bite them in the ass when those come around, unless they just plan on not having biological kids via the females getting their tubes tied or some other shit. It also doesn't help that a lot of the people in this group (not the co-worker who was met with misfortune this last week) tend to be incompetent at times at their jobs while I try my damnedest and they go and start hitting each other with fucking toy swords while a trailer needs to be unloaded so I can work the freight to the sales floor at my retail job.

    I know this post might come off as incoherent, but its hard to figure out how to describe in detail what the problem here is. It feels like I'm excluded from a group that I otherwise, if we were in high school, could get along with if it weren't for the things that I perceive as problems in the above paragraphs.

    tl;dr - I share very little in common with my co-workers in terms of how I socialize, my opinions, life experiences, philosophy and approach to life, and attitudes about the struggles therein. Not that I'd care if I had a GF who was a little more consistent about responding to things than she is (I mean, I understand she's in college and everything (with finals being this week), but a part of me thinks and feels that if I was that important to her, she'd at least look at the messages I send her on Facebook Messenger, especially when yours truly and another nice co-worker of mine is concerned about another co-worker and this GF's sister's fate after a certain misfortune last week, and not whenever she's suddenly active on Facebook the few times that I happen to be awake when she's active. I plan on seeing how she'll respond to yours truly after this week, but if it's still the same BS as the last few months, I'll have no reason to stay at my retail job anymore with how little it pays), but either way, I wish I could find people to hang out with that I could more easily make sense of and try to maintain the new hope I've found in the past month now that my life has changed for the better.
    cauliquackers and TR_mahmutpek like this.


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