Time goes by, and without a doubt sometimes you end up meeting people that could mean nothing, and others that can mean all to you.
After the horrible events I have experienced in past relationships, where the other person was nothing but harmful towards me, and shared nothing but a dry feeling with not a single touch, this relationship gave me the exact opposite of it.
But that's not without a part of me that grew strong during years.
My past relationship left me broken psychologically. My own mind couldn't handle the stress and idea of being treated in such horrid ways by the one that supposedly loved me, and it split into three, but alongside that split, one of the three was a seed planted by her mentally and that grew over time.
That very seed started to grow more and more with each passing day, and that personality of me turned quickly into a sociopath lustful entity, which I somehow didn't stop.
Then comes the ending months of 2018, I had the joy of meeting someone that really won over my heart in such a special and kind way.
I met her one night through a single movie date, and from that moment I felt something unique. And so it continued...
Right from the get go, she was kind and affectionate, not a single day passed by when she didn't tell me just how much she loved me and how much I meant to her, at times even within minutes.
She was nothing but kind, loving, full caress and great affection, and with the most beautiful heart and soul I have ever seen, and in such a short span of time, she quickly turned into a very special person to me.
But that part of me, the one that kept growing over years, was still lurking.
As some sort of presence, a darkness approaching over the radiant light.
I don't know how or why it happened, nor why my other 2 personalities simply didn't stop him, but he took over at times, and that personality had the urge of inciting lust, not only for himself, but to others. It grew so strong, that it didn't limit itself.
To make matters short, the person which quickly became so special to me, somehow ended up seeing messages of lust that said personality sometimes did. It never went past that at least, my person never had any physical contact with anyone else, but still, the damage and deception was there.
I never wanted any of this.
I've been seeking all my life for a person like her, as caring and loving as her, only for it to end like this, and in such a sickening and disappointing way.
I really want to stop it, and I'm dead-set on putting an end to it, suppress that personality once and for all and put all my attention to her.
To let her know that I can control it, that this will not happen, and that my regret is sincere.
Although, she seems to have decided to part ways, and that we both have a nice life, but I do want to fight for her.
I want to keep pushing forward, and to fight for her forgiveness and love back.
I just don't know how I should do it.
Best I will do is to simply write my thoughts out in a letter to her, alongside a gift, but out of that, I am unsure on how to handle it after that.
I want to give her some time, but I do have the feeling she is preparing herself to leave town soon due to what happened. That is what I don't want.
I am sad and disappointed at myself for not putting at stop to this earlier.
I really care for her, and I really don't want the most beautiful relation I had in my whole life to go to waste due to this.
I wrote this to mainly get a part of it out, but I am open to any kind of suggestion possible.
I hereby thank any of who takes the time to read, and write suggestions towards the situation.
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