Thats a great way describe how I feel.
Hmm, whats top of my list? Ahh, School. 4th circle of hell if im up on my scripture. Blah blah, the usual generic problems of most high schoolers, girls, grades and all those other problems. Now, i I might as well get this fact known about me, I love fucking around with people. I dont know if its because of my "dont give a damn" mindset or habitiually insurgent behavior (I spelt some word wrong there...) but I like doing it. Its by doing this I effectively kept myself out of inter-school politics, out of the grape vine, and away from quite a few pointless fights. However, now im facing a problem. I want a girl friend. Not a "girl friend" but hell, just a good female friend would be nice. Not to say I dont talk to girls and all, or that I cant call any of them accquantaces at the least, but im sick of that. All it ends up is that I start to like them and then they just walk away or we dont talk much anymore or something else stupid. Hell, even a lanky hispanic (not that it has much bearing, I just felt I needed to throw in another adjective) friend of mine get cookies, hugs and other shit from girls. I dont know...I have a feeling it has to do with my apperence (im mean, 6 foot 1 black guy doesnt exactly scream teddy bear now does it?) but I cant change that now can I?
In other news, religion has been pissing on my life again. See, its not that im not some athesist who thinks everything is made by large chemical explosions that somehow kickstart time in the process (no offense to any of you who do, its your ideals not mine) its just I also have problems with this whole "Willing slave" mentaility that christianity seems to carry. Ofcourse, thats more static within my family. My mother in particular whos extremely dense (yeah, like EVERY 15 year olds parents, its my blog dammit). I mean, she loves her religion so much my first and middle name is based on the bible, my first name is Mathew but my middle name is a bit too unusual to yeild a few thousand results if you search it, to make it worse shes going though this whole Metapause thing which makes something as insignifigant as picking up a plate, turn into a fucking mini cherobyl (ok, I KNOW I spelt that wrong). So if I so much as show any resistance towards going to church its like like Dantes Inferno in the living room. The ironic thing though is that shes so into the faith in the first place because of how the church (and god for that matter, YES I do think he exsists) helped her so much when she was pregant with me (story for another blog). Cant talk to her about anything that opposes her opinion on things either, it always ends with how I havent been alive long enough to form an opinon on anything. Nevermind the fact I read up on these things and look more into the opinions of others and form my own thoughts, nope. Too young and stupid.
Oh, also ive started playing a few games and im thinking of giving a shot at a real review later on this week, probably when I submit my entry into the compy. I think im going to do it on something like an indie game or fossil so the local douchebaggery cant swing the amount of stupid shit you find in games when most of the community has played it, may be bold and do Monster Hunter Tri and piss alot of people off.
Speaking of pissing people off, I installed Linux as a dualboot with Windows. I gotta say, its not that big of a change, really, it reminds me of the older OSes but with a GUI instead of just some lines of CMD text. Its going to be fun messing around with SSH on my phone since I can use it now (as soon as I figure out even more fucking commands T-T). Might even compress a few simple programs to mess around with at school.
Anway, its late amd my blog is getting deep into TL;DR territory. Night mates.
Hmm, whats top of my list? Ahh, School. 4th circle of hell if im up on my scripture. Blah blah, the usual generic problems of most high schoolers, girls, grades and all those other problems. Now, i I might as well get this fact known about me, I love fucking around with people. I dont know if its because of my "dont give a damn" mindset or habitiually insurgent behavior (I spelt some word wrong there...) but I like doing it. Its by doing this I effectively kept myself out of inter-school politics, out of the grape vine, and away from quite a few pointless fights. However, now im facing a problem. I want a girl friend. Not a "girl friend" but hell, just a good female friend would be nice. Not to say I dont talk to girls and all, or that I cant call any of them accquantaces at the least, but im sick of that. All it ends up is that I start to like them and then they just walk away or we dont talk much anymore or something else stupid. Hell, even a lanky hispanic (not that it has much bearing, I just felt I needed to throw in another adjective) friend of mine get cookies, hugs and other shit from girls. I dont know...I have a feeling it has to do with my apperence (im mean, 6 foot 1 black guy doesnt exactly scream teddy bear now does it?) but I cant change that now can I?
In other news, religion has been pissing on my life again. See, its not that im not some athesist who thinks everything is made by large chemical explosions that somehow kickstart time in the process (no offense to any of you who do, its your ideals not mine) its just I also have problems with this whole "Willing slave" mentaility that christianity seems to carry. Ofcourse, thats more static within my family. My mother in particular whos extremely dense (yeah, like EVERY 15 year olds parents, its my blog dammit). I mean, she loves her religion so much my first and middle name is based on the bible, my first name is Mathew but my middle name is a bit too unusual to yeild a few thousand results if you search it, to make it worse shes going though this whole Metapause thing which makes something as insignifigant as picking up a plate, turn into a fucking mini cherobyl (ok, I KNOW I spelt that wrong). So if I so much as show any resistance towards going to church its like like Dantes Inferno in the living room. The ironic thing though is that shes so into the faith in the first place because of how the church (and god for that matter, YES I do think he exsists) helped her so much when she was pregant with me (story for another blog). Cant talk to her about anything that opposes her opinion on things either, it always ends with how I havent been alive long enough to form an opinon on anything. Nevermind the fact I read up on these things and look more into the opinions of others and form my own thoughts, nope. Too young and stupid.
Oh, also ive started playing a few games and im thinking of giving a shot at a real review later on this week, probably when I submit my entry into the compy. I think im going to do it on something like an indie game or fossil so the local douchebaggery cant swing the amount of stupid shit you find in games when most of the community has played it, may be bold and do Monster Hunter Tri and piss alot of people off.
Speaking of pissing people off, I installed Linux as a dualboot with Windows. I gotta say, its not that big of a change, really, it reminds me of the older OSes but with a GUI instead of just some lines of CMD text. Its going to be fun messing around with SSH on my phone since I can use it now (as soon as I figure out even more fucking commands T-T). Might even compress a few simple programs to mess around with at school.
Anway, its late amd my blog is getting deep into TL;DR territory. Night mates.
