So I've screwed my relationship..

So, my girlfriend has recently started ASSUMING that I've fallen for my best friend. This has lead her to totally change how she talks to me, acts around me, and I believe she may have even changed her feelings for me because she's worried I'm going to break up with her for the other girl. We've been dating for 6 months, and up until now everything has been perfect. Tomorrow I'm hanging out with her, and I plan on discussing this entirely and working it all out. I'm expecting her to break up with me, however I'm hoping she doesn't.

I am quite close to the other girl. After all, she is my best friend. However, I've been very careful for the past 6 months making sure I don't overstep any boundaries with this other girl, because this is the *exact* situation I've been worried about. I don't even send smiley faces to her on facebook because I don't want to send the slightest hint of the wrong idea. My girlfriend on the other hand has a guy best friend (which is normal and I'm okay with that), who she flirts with on a regular basis, and has posted things on his Facebook wall with hearts the the end. I personally find that somewhat hypocritical, because she also asks him for hugs everytime we hang out with him, where I don't even allow my best friend to hug me.

So tomorrow, when we "work this out", it'll either make it or break it, but she has stopped making an effort to keep a conversation on Facebook going, so I am definitely somewhat worried about how this will turn out tomorrow.

EDIT: For the record, I do not have feelings for my best friend.

Comments

all women are bat shit crazy it's just one of those thing you have to put up with, like gravity or red lights
 
[quote name='snake2' post='3776495' date='Jul 15 2011, 08:26 PM']all women are bat shit crazy it's just one of those thing you have to put up with, like gravity or red lights[/quote]

This made me chuckle. Awesome stuff.

At least you're prepared for the worst possible outcome. It can't go any worse compared to what you expect, so at least there is that. If she cares about you though, she hopefully will be understanding.
 
True that shit ;)

But no, my girlfriend isn't usually like this, usually she keeps her thoughts to herself but she's out in the open with her feelings about this.
 
most girlfriends that are insecure will get jealous over female bestfriends of their boyfriends.
 
Not trying to sound pessimistic, but this exact thing happened to me. My ex-gf tended to have lots of guy friends and she would always flirt with them. Then this new guy came along. She started talking to him more and more. She texted him more than me, and she would get mad if I was with my friend, that was a girl. In the end I couldn't take it even when she said she didn't like him like that. I confronted her "friend" (He even liked her) and told him to fuck off. He didn't and my gf didn't give a crap. I broke up with her and what do you know a few weeks later they're together. Hoe...
 
[quote name='Justin121994' post='3776509' date='Jul 15 2011, 11:34 PM']Not trying to sound pessimistic, but this exact thing happened to me. My ex-gf tended to have lots of guy friends and she would always flirt with them. Then this new guy came along. She started talking to him more and more. She texted him more than me, and she would get mad if I was with my friend, that was a girl. In the end I couldn't take it even when she said she didn't like him like that. I confronted her "friend" (He even liked her) and told him to fuck off. He didn't and my gf didn't give a crap. I broke up with her and what do you know a few weeks later they're together. Hoe...[/quote]


Same. That's my situation. I notice very tiny details (which is a double edged sword, trust me), and when her friend comes on Facebook, she takes 2-3 minutes longer to reply to me..
 
WOW When you talk to her tomorrow, address the fact that she sets up a double standard. If she is allowed to be close with others, then you be allowed to as well. Moreover, She is probably projecting the fact that she may have feelings for this "guy friend" she has and feels guilty so the she pushes the guilt onto you and in turn accusing you of what she may be feeling.
 
No, she actually doesn't like this guy friend, however I've been wondering that for a while now. Our mutual friends have mentioned it to her casually on my behalf and she said "no way in Hell".. I do plan on addressing the double standard though, however I'm hoping she doesn't take offense to that and screw over my last chance at hope here.
 
I don't know how girls behave where you live, but in here (Brazil) when they starts suspecting too much of something, like your girl friend, it's because theyselves are kinda crossing the line, as in liking (even unconsiously) other guy.

Jealousy is ok, it's normal to worry that someone you like may end up linking another person, but over jealousy is not, specially when the game is not for 2 players. You see, the way she is playing, you can't live (aka talking to any other girl, specially your best friend [which gets even worse if she is pretty / prettier than you gf]) but she can and sees nothing wrong with it.

I'd call for a break up. I would't wait for her to break up with me or ending up cheating on me. Trust is base of every relationship, be it a pen pal friendship, be it a marrieage(ship >-p).
 
No you did not screw up you relationship... I say its not time to break up.
I would say you should tell your friend you need to 'take a break' tell her how unfair you think it his but its the right thing to do for now. She is your friend after all; she will understand, even if it sucks. Just for the time your girlfriend understand your true feelings about her.
 
Well, I've found out a little more about how my girlfriend looks at my best friend and I. She thinks I trust my best friend more than her, and she also feels that "if I lost my best friend, it would hurt more than losing her". Also, while talking to her last night, she was making minimal effort to keep the conversation alive, and her responses were minimal as well, so I asked if everything was alright. She said "haha, that question is becoming really overused" and I replied "I know, unfortunate isn't it?".
Then she apologized because she had to go, and told me she knew she had some explaining to do.

Meanwhile, my bestfriend feels horrible because she feels this breakup coming as well, and she feels completely responsible and doesn't want to talk to me anymore.. Looks like I might lose her too.

In a couple of hours, this entire situation will be dealt with, one way or another. Wish me luck guys!
 
It's happened to me. She acted like that until I started spamming her with sentimental shit.

She can't stand your world not revolving around her. I got tired of that, you may eventually, but there's not that much to it.
 
Frankly I think you should salvage your friendship with your best friend, and make sure it stays alive. Your girlfriend is incredibly insecure, and it's always said, "If there's no trust, there's no relationship."
A relationship NEEDS trust, and your girlfriend seems to have absolutely none.

At this point, sounds like your best friend needs more comforting then your girlfriend. The poor girl didn't do anything and is suffering anyways.
 
[quote name='Hells Malice' post='3777132' date='Jul 16 2011, 09:52 AM']Frankly I think you should salvage your friendship with your best friend, and make sure it stays alive. Your girlfriend is incredibly insecure, and it's always said, "If there's no trust, there's no relationship."
A relationship NEEDS trust, and your girlfriend seems to have absolutely none.

At this point, sounds like your best friend needs more comforting then your girlfriend. The poor girl didn't do anything and is suffering anyways.[/quote]

I agree. I say break-up with her. I know it sucks, but after you can breathe and go "why do I feel so free? :D" AND you will still have your friend. Bros before hoes (bro in a general sense of friendship :P). My own best friend doesn't seem to get this notion and left me for a troll (literally, fat ugly manipulative bitch).
 
Although I'm not in a relationship, I've already encountered this problem. I'm working my way toward a relationship with a girl in my class that I've known for 3 years and counting. Just about 2 months ago, I started talking to her everyday for hours and hours from morning to midnight. I even gave up my gaming time just to talk to her.

Nowadays when I talk to her, she usually gives me bland and blank responses. I can tell that she's ignoring me a bit for some unknown reason. I didn't do anything wrong at all.

My conclusion? This is how most females act.

But hold on a second there, I'm just a teen.
 
[quote name='I am r4ymond' post='3777153' date='Jul 16 2011, 10:14 AM']Although I'm not in a relationship, I've already encountered this problem. I'm working my way toward a relationship with a girl in my class that I've known for 3 years and counting. Just about 2 months ago, I started talking to her everyday for hours and hours from morning to midnight. I even gave up my gaming time just to talk to her.

Nowadays when I talk to her, she usually gives me bland and blank responses. I can tell that she's ignoring me a bit for some unknown reason. I didn't do anything wrong at all.

My conclusion? This is how most females act.

But hold on a second there, I'm just a teen.[/quote]

*GASP* haha that's cute, hope it's just a phase and she'll start talking to you again.
 
Oh, also, she won't break up with you. If she's insecure she'll just shut up and wait until you talk.
 
Words are the worse way to work things out; words are nothing but to enfeeble someone else in a false illusion and capture only a small amount of what really goes on in your mind.

The best way to work anything out, is figure out what the problem is and fix it. In 6 months, you should have analyzed your girlfriend enough to know how her mind works and well enough to know how to fix it without words.
 

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