Relationship Stuff

“Relationship advice”, at 14? Yeah, I’ve got some: Never mind “relationships” for the time being.
Go and enjoy video games, action figures, monsters, comic books, etc....

XD

HA! Too bad I don't have most of the things normal 14 year olds have.

Oh and @Old , I live with my grandparents. They want me to be like an adult rather than like a child. So Is this not what adults do? They fall in love with someone, then the relationship seems to be falling apart. They desperately seek help because they can't live without the other person. Then when the help never comes, they give up. Then they feel bad for giving up and they try again only to find themselves stuck in an endless loop of emotional pain and suffering. Is that how it works?

Relationships aren't the magical situation to solve one's problem.
Don't bother with them till you're much older + stable life. I would give the same advice to a 18yo.

Well, I am not giving up now. I don't want to make her sad or unhappy, but maybe I already have...

GBATemp is the worst place to ask for relationship advice

Well, with my life the way it is, I find that GBATemp is like my new home. With everyone being my family because nobody else in my life seems to help me...

-Just be yourself
-Be sure to listen to others and be invested in conversations
-Think of fun places to go with them that you might both enjoy

-You're 14, actually, just go play video games instead tbh

I CAN'T PLAY VIDEO GAMES!!!! My grandparents don't let me. I have to secretly play my 3ds at night if I want to play video games. BUT, because I don't have internet, I can't get new games on my 3ds, unless I install using a CIA. Well, I guess I could play now at school and get in trouble...

This is the point where I'd normally speak VERY frankly on the subject of 'adult relationships', but then I'm reminded that this forum is populated by kids.


In other words: There are places/resources/people to be speaking with about this subject, and a video game forum likely isn't one of them.

Too bad.

Disregard females, acquire currency.

Okay, 14-year-old shouldn't be having relationships, but...
Be honest.
Don't be nervous.
Be like me in the real world.
ETC.
Talk to the girl like you would talk to anybody else.
Duh.
Make sure she doesn't or isn't doing anything stupid.
If you don't notice, you'll get divorced like me.
At least you'll get to keep custody of the kid-
...
This is going way too far.

OP ignore spectral

Don't. Do yourself a favor and wait a year or 2. Also don't be creepy.

"14-year-old shouldn't be having relationships"

While far from essential I would certainly not go that far. Indeed that might even be wrong to say from where I sit.

If you want to meet girlies (or boys) and go to cinemas, food places, hang out in parks, play games and whatnot and call it boyfriend/girlfriend I can see doing that at younger than 14 but 14 is absolutely fine too. Indeed doing such things then may well save an awful lot of awkward fumbling later -- nobody magically gains information on their 16th or 18th birthday. That said don't be doing it "because my grandparents think it is time*" but because you reckon you want to try your hand.

*if they do think it is time then should you end up going out with someone do give them a chance to see you wandering off holding hands with said same someone. Makes them feel all soft and gooey inside and gets them off your case somewhat.

Being that age your pool of potential partners is then probably limited to school, whatever clubs you are in, if your grandparents drag you to parties with them there may well be others similarly bored out of their minds, and whatever places you are allowed to hang out at (malls, skate parks if you do such things, libraries if you do such things, regular parks, sports places and if they still exist things like youth clubs), all of which which is better than some have (I meet more than a few adults who only have work and the local pub, there then being a reason they remain single despite not wanting to) and worse than others.
Annoyingly you will probably not want to be meeting random people and asking them out and instead want to know them at least a tiny bit first. This may well change in a few years for you but for now asking random girls out in the park** is not a great plan, it might well get you something but at least have a few conversations with someone first. For what it is worth it is not the worst plan for later in life either but I will leave that one for now.

**they also tend to travel in packs which makes that more difficult if you are not already known to the group. If you similarly travel in groups then two packs meeting is not the worst.

It can be expensive and thus a drain on your presumably quite limited funds so be aware of that one -- buying a few drinks or some fast food for two because that is what you do in such things really adds up and is a drain on your fun stuff money. Pro tip there. If your grandparents want you to act like an adult they presumably also taught you to cook -- cooking some mini pizzas or something out of their freezer is far cheaper (try and make some effort to either put together a meal or at least sprinkle some extra cheese and a sliced up pepper or something if you are going for something that basic, if you are cooking something proper then carry on) and for some reason still considered a nice gesture at that age. Also does even better than them taking a sniper perch at the top of the stairs to see you holding hands with someone. If you are going to start skipping school lunch to get some money then do try and find something at home so you don't pass out from hunger.

Oh and to put it mildly "nervous as fuck" may well describe what you are feeling at points here, that thing about nobody knowing and magically gaining information very much cuts the other way too. Always remember that. Also you probably won't die if they say no, try someone else if so.

There are further things I could go through but most of those will only be things you find to be true in a few years so we will spare that one. That said "don't shit where you eat" is sound advice so notice the absence of neighbour girlies in my little list above.

Listen! A biggie.
And contribute to the conversation.
You'll have to balance these 2.

Its ok to talk about yourself just don't over do it. Or else it'll be a conversation only about you.
Ask questions to understand better, to involve the other person, and to move conversation forward.

But you don't want to ask too many questions or else you'll be considered nosy. So then start talking about yourself.
But you also don't want to be talking about yourself all the time or else you'll be considered selfish and not letting others talk.

It's all about a balance. Let the conversation flow. Talk about yourself then ask questions about the other person to get them talking about themselves. Then hopefully they'll give you an answer, and then ask you a question. This is how a conversation should be. Involving 2 people and having back and forth. Its something that should be automatic and not really think about much. You just do it. Its just natural.

Ok, as an almost 19-year-old, I'm gonna tell you what you don't want to hear, but what you need to

You're still a kid. Feel free to date around if you want, but remember that in the grand scheme of things right now, a "girlfriend" to you is really just going to be a "friend: upgraded." Don't feel obligated to take a relationship too seriously; it might work out, it might not. Either way, you still (statistically) have around 81% of your life left to live and be happy, either just with yourself and your friends or with a significant other. Don't feel like you need to find that "special someone" any time in the near future, focus on making good friends, first

Barring all other advice, you could simply do what worked for ME: Wait a couple/few years, drink some cheap wine, then run down to your local park/skate land/hangout/etc. and start busting some fresh moves while exposing yourself.

Basically what others are saying is just do you and don't seek out a relationship as your main focus. Just focus on you hobbies, learn, improve yourself and if a girl comes along then ok.