Well this my first blog respond if you please.
Today i came across an interesting story on an imaginative way of how we can live forever and how and what god is. that was a mixed ass sentence shouldve thought about it before so it can make sense and appeal. So today i like any other day thought about life and where i see myself and where i stand in the place im at. all i know so far is that im in college and im supposed to study and have sex with mad girls. but this just doesn't feel right for me at the moment. im a very unsatisfied person and i have a very negative outlook on life as a hole, but i constantly am changing. or i can think of this constant change as me being myself and i just constantly change to meet someones requirements or ideas. to me i think i have 3 sides one side looks towards feelings (mine or others) one looks towards logic (realism) and the other is everyone else. i change based on the people around me in my interesting ways in my opinion when im around my roommate i just speak without thinking and whatever is said is said, when im around the girl that i think i like (as a friend or more, not sure) i act differently in that im trying to learn about her and at the same time her learn about me and me learn about me. there is no one to truly trust, if i wanted to say something important i wouldnt ever feel comfortable saying it to anyone right now. i feel that i am willing to sacrifice so much of me to help someone out but i never see this returning to my favor. i spoke with a good friend of mine about life and he assured me that im constantly a nice person genuinly but im also trying to have karma by like keeping track kinda in my head of all the nice things i do. i am i really nice and caring person to everyone but to the people that i care about i feel like im being me, but im not sure who that is or what effects me, just now i almost changed effects to affects but i doubted myself thinking i was wrong, where does this sense of doubt come from? why do i always have questions that have no answers? do i think too much do i look into things that aren't meant to. i need things to make sense to me that is all i want a sensible and something that i can understand. but now i have these feelings that are indescribable i just don't know what to think anymore about my life and what im doing here i dont know what i should do about friends work games thinking myself and again fucking college its so hard out here and i need help but have no where to go to, i have no real friends only college friends, if u know what i mean, its like to the outside world im a happy honest funny kid and maybe that's who i am but when im with someone i am close to or spend a lot of time with i just say these things out of no where, i just think about all these things and its just such a burden to think so much, i just wanna get on with my life and be happy cause that's what it fucking comes down to and i need some fucking happiness right now, i see it so often why is it something so hard to get. GG NO RE SUP?
Today i came across an interesting story on an imaginative way of how we can live forever and how and what god is. that was a mixed ass sentence shouldve thought about it before so it can make sense and appeal. So today i like any other day thought about life and where i see myself and where i stand in the place im at. all i know so far is that im in college and im supposed to study and have sex with mad girls. but this just doesn't feel right for me at the moment. im a very unsatisfied person and i have a very negative outlook on life as a hole, but i constantly am changing. or i can think of this constant change as me being myself and i just constantly change to meet someones requirements or ideas. to me i think i have 3 sides one side looks towards feelings (mine or others) one looks towards logic (realism) and the other is everyone else. i change based on the people around me in my interesting ways in my opinion when im around my roommate i just speak without thinking and whatever is said is said, when im around the girl that i think i like (as a friend or more, not sure) i act differently in that im trying to learn about her and at the same time her learn about me and me learn about me. there is no one to truly trust, if i wanted to say something important i wouldnt ever feel comfortable saying it to anyone right now. i feel that i am willing to sacrifice so much of me to help someone out but i never see this returning to my favor. i spoke with a good friend of mine about life and he assured me that im constantly a nice person genuinly but im also trying to have karma by like keeping track kinda in my head of all the nice things i do. i am i really nice and caring person to everyone but to the people that i care about i feel like im being me, but im not sure who that is or what effects me, just now i almost changed effects to affects but i doubted myself thinking i was wrong, where does this sense of doubt come from? why do i always have questions that have no answers? do i think too much do i look into things that aren't meant to. i need things to make sense to me that is all i want a sensible and something that i can understand. but now i have these feelings that are indescribable i just don't know what to think anymore about my life and what im doing here i dont know what i should do about friends work games thinking myself and again fucking college its so hard out here and i need help but have no where to go to, i have no real friends only college friends, if u know what i mean, its like to the outside world im a happy honest funny kid and maybe that's who i am but when im with someone i am close to or spend a lot of time with i just say these things out of no where, i just think about all these things and its just such a burden to think so much, i just wanna get on with my life and be happy cause that's what it fucking comes down to and i need some fucking happiness right now, i see it so often why is it something so hard to get. GG NO RE SUP?
